#eddiestightywhities

Chim: *whispering* Maddie, I don't think that —

Maddie: *whispering back* Shhh! Just close your eyes and try, Howie.

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Hen was actually so, so wrong.

Buck was completely one hundred percent uninterested in how disgustingly attractive New Guy was, with his lean, mean firefighting-machine physique and those super pretty, long-lashed, stunningly big brown doe eyes of his.

Eddie Diaz. Ugh.

Ex-army medic. Top of his class at the academy. Infuriatingly unflappable.

Also too cool for a dumb nickname like any other normal fucking person. The douchebag was too cool for school in general, apparently.

Although neither of those things ended up being true, as Buck found out after two hot seconds of his ego pointlessly scrapping for position of Top Dog. Like when his new kick-ass partner answered to ‘Eds’ as if he always had, the moment Buck's subconscious decided it was just gonna be that way. Like when he'd discovered his awesome new friend was a single dad with a son, a kid of elementary school age, who just so happened to be the brightest shining light Buck had ever had the privilege of having to squint at.

That kid, just—wow. Buck was completely smitten, right from the off. Christopher was amazing. Way smarter than Buck, and way cooler than Eddie (who actually, adorably, turned out to be six-foot-worth of pure marshmallow that Buck kinda wanted to simultaneously squish and eat).

These irrefutable facts were first presented to him after inviting himself over to the Diaz residence with an offer of help to clean up following the earthquake, and then he sort of just…

Well, he sort of just never really left. At least, his heart always stayed behind at 4995 South Bedford Street, each and every time he reluctantly drove away from what very quickly became the undisputed best part of his life.

Until all of that changed in the space of a single heartbeat.

A few years down the line came the day that Eddie almost gave Buck a fucking coronary when he crowded into Buck's personal space and backed him into the fridge with a hand bracing either side of his head—post-it notes coming as unstuck as Buck did, magnets clattering to the kitchen floor and managing to sound like wedding bells to Buck's pathetically romantic ears—when suddenly Eddie was kissing him, and kissing him, and kissing him.

And—holy fuck.

After seeing God, Eddie had nervously asked Buck and his heart to stick around, for long enough to not just have (make) dinner and choose their after-meal movie, but to be the little spoon with Eddie in Eddie's too-small bed until morning time came around.

Eventually, after so many cosy nights on the porch with a beer and and arm snaked around his waist, and mornings consisting of packed lunches and pecks on the cheek, Eddie asked Buck to never leave.

Obviously, Buck and his heart sang out with a chorus of yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Or rather he'd screamed it with every goddamn fibre of his being, because Jesus fucking Christ, Buck was just as in love as Eddie apparently was.

Eddie didn't just want Buck; he wanted Buck to stay.

They'd grinned at each other like toothy, goofy idiots, before Eddie was kissing him again, and again, and again, and kind of never really stopped—never for very long, at least.

Yeah, sorry, Bobby and Co.

Funnily enough, it wasn't necessary for Buck to go home and pack a bag, seeing as most of his stuff already lived at Casa Buckley-Diaz (that was what Chris had started calling the place a while back). Thing was, all three of them already knew Casa Buckley-Diaz was Buck's real home, and had been for a really long time.

So that's how everything and nothing at all changed: Eddie and Christopher weren't just a part of Buck's life anymore; they just were his life.

Hen, it turned out—both annoyingly and completely wonderfully—was actually so, so right.

And yes, Buck definitely learned his lesson: Always trust a lesbian.

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He knows the idea of getting a dog was a dumb one. That it would never have worked, what with his job et cetera. It's just that Blaze actually wanted his attention. Craved it, even. At least for a time. Like, the little time that they had together. Those big brown eyes looking up at Buck, like please love me! Buck revelled in that. Needed it. And it's pathetic, he knows, but it's just that he—yeah, it's not about him.

He knows that feeling like his feelings are being ignored is self-centered, knows his feelings aren't relevant in this. At all. It isn't about him, even if he always ends up making everything about him. But it's not. It's not. It's not. This is about Christopher and Eddie, and Buck knows this. He's just, well, not a part of it. Fact is, he never was, not really. No matter how much he—but it's whatever, he gets it.

He knows he didn't have a right. Like, no right whatsoever to take out his outright devastation at the situation on Eddie. God, Eddie is the last person in the world who deserves that; the last person in the world Buck that wants to be angry with. It's just that when Chris left it spilt Buck's heart open a little. Losing his—losing him. Then that jagged tear, it just kept getting bigger and bigger each week the kid wasn't around. So when Eddie said he was leaving too? And when Buck realised that he actually meant it? That tear ripped right open and let out all the ugly parts of Buck. His selfishness and self-pity, his envy, all of his bullshit. It all came gushing out of him like blood from a wound that wouldn't close. Won't heal. And he knows how fucking dramatic he's being, he does, it's just that he feels like, feels as though he might—doesn't matter.

He knows he messed up. Knows that he never deserved Eddie or Chris in his life in the first place. It was just a dumb story he told himself. A fairytale. He tried so, so hard to keep them, so fucking hard, but he knows it was only borrowed time, really. 'Course it was. It's always like that with Buck, will always be that way with him, and he shouldn't want—he should have known better.

He knows. He does, he knows. Knows that he's only getting what he is owed in life, which is absolutely nothing. Knows that he can't ever have—it's just not for him.

He knows, okay?

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ALSO FOUND HERE ON AO3

[author's note] if you take the the last part of each paragraph and smoosh them together, it reads:

It's kind of funny how things can change.

Buck used to want to spend all of his time at the Diaz residence. Now he's living there he doesn't want to be there at all.

After splitting with Tommy, he'd wanted to get back with him for ages. Then they slept together again—and Buck hasn't found himself thinking of Tommy since.

He'd never imagined that Christopher wouldn't be around, at least not while the kid was still a kid. Then suddenly the kid wasn't so much of a kid anymore, and he wasn't in Buck's life at all.

He never used to miss Eddie, because he'd spend most of his time with Eddie, both in and out of work. Then Eddie left, and now Buck misses him like a lung.

For the last few days, he's been thinking everybody has gone batshit insane because they keep saying that Buck is in love with Eddie? Until he goes back over every conversation and realises nobody actually said those words to him.

It's kind of funny how things can change.

okies, i'm posting a bit of my crack treated seriously pov buck (losing all of his shit) ballroom dancer eddie wip for charlie, who made this request last night. i'd already written a couple hundred words on something related, so when i saw the post i just incorporated what i had into a gift to fill their 'prompt'... @playinginthunderstorms it's funny but this isn't the first time you've derailed a fic of mine in the best possible way, is it charlie? adgjkskk

(unedited so be kind! + pray i can finish in time!!)

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“Show me,” Buck says after finding out about Eddie's never-before-heard-of ballroom dancing exploits from his early teenage years. 

Eddie had been regaling the story of how he gave his folks the proverbial finger and got Christopher back home with him, where the kid belongs (in much more detail, seeing as Buck had already heard the bones of that fateful day over facetime a few months back). Which of course meant all the gory details of the chess tournament and poor Christopher's nerves, which also meant Eddie giving him the lead up to what made Eddie drive out to Lubbock in the first place ergo how ballroomgate was released as public knowledge and Eddie came out as a DanceSport athlete. Or how it came up. Whatever.

Point is, Buck now can't unknow about Eddie's ability to Walz a person to within an inch of their life, or what-the-hell-ever it is that Eddie does. Fairly, Buck supposes, the sly fucker has always said that he's an excellent dancer. But Buck has only ever seen anything close to proof of that claim via Eddie's uncoordinated tequila-fuelled moves to Chappell Roan in a hotel suite full of complete strangers, which—wasn't really any proof at all. No offence, Eddie.

“What?” Eddie smiles a funny little smile but looks confused. Ha! Dude can't be half as confused as Buck. “You want me to… With you? Now?” Eddie's looking at him with this sort of guarded expression that Buck is weirdly finding difficult to read. Weird because Buck can usually pretty much always tell what Eddie is thinking. “You seriously want to ballroom dance with me, here and now, in the living room?” 

The thing is, this.

OUT for a stroll 🌈