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After Eddie tells buck over facetime that he's sold the Denali—Eddie shrugging the whole thing off as no big deal yet quite obviously upset at having to give up “his girl”—Buck manages to casually, carefully needle the name of the car dealership that the truck ended up at out of Eddie, so that the moment he hangs up he can contact the salesperson and buy the truck back. Which he does, there and then over the phone, thanking the universe for the invention of debit cards. Turns out the sales dude knew he wouldn't be able to flip it for anything close to it's proper second hand price, not in his neck of the woods (Buck is good at getting things out of people when he needs to). So, Buck gets it for a great price using the money he got back from his deposit on the loft, plus some of the savings just sat burning a hole in his bank account. Doing this just feels like a really good way to use some of it.
He makes arrangements to have it shipped back to LA, where he finds and pays for a garage space so the Denali can be kept safe and dry. He plans to give her a spit and polish and turn the engine over etc once a week, so it won't get testy. She can just sit pretty and wait patiently, for however long it is that Eddie needs to be in Texas.
Buck doesn't bother telling Eds about it—doesn't see the point, not yet. Plus it's not really that big of a deal, you know? He's just hopeful it'll be a nice surprise for some time in Eddie's future... or maybe theirs? Buck's keeping his fingers firmly crossed on the thought; the hope that Eddie and Chris will be coming home to him someday.
The tragedy of Eddie Begins is that Eddie doesn't know Buck tried to dig him out of the earth with his bare hands and Buck doesn't know that Eddie used memories of him to find the will to survive.
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Cryptic pregnancies are weird, because almost anyone who's ever had a baby has questions like, "didn't you feel the baby move?"
It's easy to underestimate how good our brains are at hiding something from us when we really, really do not want to know it. Her mind was protecting her by dismissing any symptoms or signs she may have been feeling. She was so deep into repression it seemed like maybe nothing was happening at all, up until it was impossible to ignore.
okay this'll sound entirely random but stick with me...
after bobby *moved on* I honestly just. did not want to watch the show anymore. and not because I can't cope with character deaths on my TV (the shit I usually watch is, more often than not, gritty and harrowing af lol) but because it is 911 i.e. THEE one and only programme I enjoy purely for it's unadulterated silly, lighthearted and ridiculous fun. and so bobby *moving on* (that man is absolutely NOT dead in my mind and I will not say or even type that shit out) to make the drama "more believable" was and is imo the dumbest fucking decision made in the show's run. it just completely ruined my experience of 911, even regardless of buddie, and meant I haven't bothered tuning in to s9 at all.
TL;DR this tumblr post has singlehandedly made me want to watch 911 again
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when i say that maddie isn't the golden child, it's not because i'm trying to diminish the trauma and abuse that a golden child will typically face in a family with a golden child/scapegoat dynamic. i'm saying it because she just literally isn't that. her parents are constantly talking shit about her. buck falls off a bike and it's immediately maddie's fault somehow. maddie's worried that if she leaves doug her parents will just tell her i told you so about it and she turns out to be 100% right. also they basically disown her for the crime of going off to college with her boyfriend. it honestly doesn't seem like they like her very much. if any buckley sibling is the golden child, it's daniel.
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48 - habit.
Chris finds out about the guy who was living in Buck's attic, and tells all his friends, and apparently they're all obsessed with it, which is why he begs and begs Buck to let him hold a sleepover and also a seance in the not-actually-haunted crawlspace. This is more complicated than it sounds, because there isn't actually an ADA approved way to get into Buck's crawlspace, but Buck is determined to make it work. Chris is too cool for him now—doesn't want to go to the zoo, doesn't want to go to the park, doesn't want to sit around and play video games with Buck and Eddie when he could be playing video games with his friends. Buck hasn't seen him for more than five minutes at a time in months, and now Chris wants to bring his best friends and spend the night at Buck's house. Of course he's going to make it work.
What "making it work" means is inviting Chris, Eddie, and four of Chris's closest friends over to eat pizza and watch A Quiet Place before Buck and Eddie haul the kids up to the attic one by one on the rope seat Buck threw together with a lot of help from Jorge at Lowe's. He also decked the attic out for them—there's bean bags, there's a bunch of Halloween decorations he thought looked fun, there's plenty of snacks. He and Eddie hang out in the living room and wait to be summoned to let the kids back down.
They can also hear every single thing the kids say right over their heads, which is hysterical, since clearly they believe they're totally alone. They don't actually have a seance—Buck's a little disappointed, he was ready to turn off the lights and make spooky noises—but they do have a surprisingly gruesome discussion about Jack the Ripper that shocks him a little, even though it doesn't faze Eddie.
"That's so gross," Buck whispers, outraged. "They shouldn't let kids access that stuff online!"
"What, Wikipedia?" Eddie makes a face at him.
"They're looking at photos of dead people on there, Eddie! What about SafeSearch!"
"They're fifteen. If all they're doing is looking up who killed Mack the Knife, I think we're doing pretty good."
It's been a while since they've hung out like this, like they used to. Just the two of them, no timeline, the sound of kid laughter coming from the other room. The kids stop talking about serial killers, thankfully, and they start playing Never Have I Ever.
"What are they playing with?" Eddie squints at the ceiling.
"I mean, the only beverage I left up there was diet coke."
Eddie whistles. "That's gonna be a sticky floor in the morning."
"It's fine."
"You'll get ants."
"Worth it." He means it, obviously—he's thrilled to have Chris in his house, to have Eddie in his living room, even if he wishes it happened more often than it does.
Never have I ever, Chris's friend Dylan says loudly, kissed a girl. A shriek of muffled laughter. Buck and Eddie exchange a rueful smile, clink their beer bottles together, and drink.
Never have I ever driven a car, another kid—maybe Sam?—says, and there's a groan from Dylan, who's been working on his learner's permit. Buck and Eddie both have another sip of their beers.
Okay, Chris says. Never have I ever—been drunk. Another shriek of laughter.
"Plausible deniability," Eddie says lightly, as they both drink again. "I don't know which kid it is, I don't have to tell their parents."
"You got the good one," Buck says, even though he'd definitely been drunk by the time he was fifteen.
Never have I ever moved to Texas, Chris's friend Nathan says, and Chris goes NO FAIR, NO FAIR, while they all laugh again.
"Yeah, come on, Nathan," Eddie jokes, taking another sip. Buck doesn't drink, obviously.
Okay, okay! the last kid says. Actually maybe this one's Sam. Are there two Sams? Never have I ever...kissed a BOY. Buck tenses, wondering if they might need to intervene after all—but the laughter is just as strong and good-natured sounding as before, and Eddie doesn't look worried.
"Talk about targeted," Buck says, and goes to take a sip—and Eddie does, too. "Okay, no cheating, Edmundo, you only get to drink when it's your turn."
Eddie gives him a look, and takes another sip. "Who says it's not my turn?"
"Uh," Buck says, feeling like his eyebrows are climbing off his forehead. "I think I would know if you'd ever kissed a boy."
"Well, you should, you were there," Eddie says.
Buck blinks at him. "What?"
Eddie gives him one of those come on, man Eddie Diaz looks, with the smile and frown at the same time, and gestures between them with his Modelo. "I kissed you."
"You have never kissed me!" Buck says, feeling crazy, his voice getting pitchier.
"Kids are gonna hear you through the floor."
Buck lowers his voice. "I—what?"
Eddie shakes his head, mock concerned. "And here I thought we had something special." That...hurts, actually, a little bit. It wouldn't hurt if Buck had seen Eddie outside of work more than twice in the last three months, but as it is? It stings, just a little.
"Guess not," Buck says, and Eddie's frown deepens a little bit. "Refresh my memory."
"It was like....two years ago? Three? When you were staying with us after my accident." Eddie grips his own shoulder, to indicate the bullet wound.
Buck stares at him. "Eddie, I wasn't even bi two years ago."
Eddie rolls his eyes. "You were staying with us, I was still with Ana, and you and her were both doing so much around the house, like—you were cooking, she was cleaning, you were both helping with Chris, the whole deal. You were, like, getting ready to take him to school one day, making his lunch and everything, and it was just kind of a chaotic morning, and I just—" Eddie shrugs. "Let habit take over."
And Buck does remember, now that Eddie's laid the groundwork. Standing in the doorway, reminding Eddie that he had PT later and that there was food in the refrigerator, and then Eddie leaned in and planted a quick peck on Buck's lips. They'd both stared at each other, totally surprised, and then mutually cracked up.
"Oh my god," Buck said, feeling his face heat up. "Oh my god, I completely forgot about that."
Eddie puts a hand over his heart. "You wound me, Buckley."
The kids are talking about something else now, some kind of school related drama that Buck can't really follow. He toasts Eddie. "Never have I ever accidentally kissed my best friend."
Eddie drinks, then toasts him back. "Never have I ever forgotten my best friend kissed me."
Drink. Toast. "Never have I ever been a dad."
Drink. Toast. "Never have I ever dated a firefighter."
"Never have I ever gotten obsessed with a telenovela from the 90s."
"Hey, you liked La Usurpadora, too!"
"It was in Spanish, Eddie, I barely understood what was going on!"
"That's why you needed to watch! You have to practice or you'll never get better. Drink."
Buck drinks. Eddie drinks.
"Never have I ever grown a mustache."
"Never have I ever done keto."
"Never have I ever dated a nun."
"Ex-nun."
"Whatever."
"Never have I ever had a freakout over snickerdoodle cookies."
"Never have I ever moved somewhere just because Chimney told me to," Buck says, and regrets it as soon as he says it, wishing he could snatch the words back. Predictably, Eddie tenses up. He doesn't drink.
"You think that's why we moved back?"
Buck waves a hand in the air. "I know, it's more complicated than that."
"Not really," Eddie says. His brows are furrowed. "We moved back because we wanted to move back, Buck."
Buck shrugs. "I know," he says, because he doesn't want to fight. "Chris has a lot of friends here."
"Yeah," Eddie says, and puts the beer bottle down on the coffee table with a click. He's looking right at Buck, his eyes big and dark and serious, the way he gets when he's going to say something devastating, like 'I changed my will, Buck,' or 'No one loves my kid more than you do, Buck.' Buck drinks so he doesn't have to look at it. "We both do."
Buck desperately wants to get the easy, friendly mood of a couple minutes ago back. "You think they want the brownies I made, now?" he asks, gesturing up at the ceiling.
"Buck."
"I'll go ask."
Buck gets up, and Eddie gets up, too. He thinks Eddie's going to follow him, but he doesn't. He walks into the other room, knocks on the trap door, and one of them opens it. "Do you guys want brownies?"
The kids do want brownies, and they don't want to come down yet, so Buck goes and gets the brownies and hefts them up into the ceiling, and then when he gets back, Eddie's not in the living room, he's in the kitchen.
"I want a brownie," Eddie says.
"Help yourself."
They lean against Buck's kitchen counter and eat the leftover brownies, not looking at each other.
"You know," Eddie says finally, "maybe I don't say it enough, but you're really important to us. You know that, right?"
Buck aches all over. "I know, Eddie. You're important to me, too."
Eddie nods. He rubs his mouth with his thumb.
The kids are playing music now, something that Buck doesn't recognize, but then Tyler the Creator comes on, and he does recognize that. Are we still friends? Can we be friends? Are we still friends? Buck's eyes sting, stupidly.
"Okay, how did you not know someone was living up there," Eddie asks, wincing. Buck's not sure, but he thinks Eddie's eyes look a little shiny. That makes him feel better, selfishly. If Eddie feels as bad about this as he does, at least he's not alone, right?
Buck shrugs. "Sometimes you miss stuff."
"Yeah," Eddie says, and tips his head back against the cabinet, a weirdly defeated looking gesture. "Guess sometimes you do."
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