#echo vent

Yeah. Respond with the same amount of hate when I say “can we chill on the jokes for rn please” and keep joking about hating me, criticizing any mistake I make, and rage baiting me when its been proven I don’t respond well to it. Yeah. Then wonder why I separate myself for hours or days from both of you to regain an ok sense of mind. Yeah. Yet you remain some of my closest friends. I sometimes miss the days before she meet us.

Potentially seeing people who used to be close break off causes my brain to scream and im going to be honest i sure as fuck hate it Like, i know the pain that comes from suddenly breaking off from someone close and i would never wish that to even my worst enemy so seeing it happen again even if its not me this time sets me off so fucking bad

I keep having a huge surge of insecurity. I wanna go out and get icecream now but all my clothes are in the wash denim just sitting hard muted in this vc with a really good artist trying not to cry

I've just realized that my self confidence has gone down. I used to be ok with rp in discord. "Some people are role playing in a server I'm in? Hell yeah, I'll jump in!" That's legit what I used to be like. But now I see people doing a role play and I'm like idk the characters or my characters dont know them or they probably would be annoyed. What happened to me? What caused me to be so fucking terrified to interact with people on discord? I used to be so comfy with it and now when people are having a conversation it takes me 10 minutes to build up the courage to type! And like I wonder why people usually leave me out. It's my own doing! I sabotage myself and idk how to stop :( all I want is that one group of friends who I can count on. I want that group that people will look at one and just know the others as well. I dont get any special roles and I'm mostly excluded. In one server I was included in a little thing but I'm too scared to talk most of the time. Idk why I'm like this...

*Wallows in my own lonely depression* I was brought so my sister woulndt be a third wheel and here I am being a fourth wheel

My family is talking about my biological mother and I'm really upset

I'm fucking done with my mom

Fucking bitch gets made at me when I'm offended at a biphobia joke on a server that legit has rules against making LGBT jokes like fuck you