#echo rants

There have been revolutions in medieval and agricultural TS3 mods since I paused my history challenge. It’s making it hard for me to load up my game and keep going because so much will change.

The challenge is SO early, I could start it over. But I just watched my beloved foundress die in childbirth and played another season of Nash trying to pull his life back together. Is the real problem that I don’t want to play without her? Maybe. If I were to start over, I can’t imagine anything but Emmaline and Nash coming back together. To avoid making it just a death retcon, I’d need to start with a new founder.

I only have two heirs with her genes, and the likelihood of both of them surviving to reproduce under the rules isn’t great. The likelihood of NEITHER of them surviving to reproduce is significant. I theoretically have backup plans for heirs -- Nash basically has to remarry, and in current gameplay her aunt and uncle now have three kids. But even though I am not specifically playing a bloodline challenge, I’m having a hard enough time with Emmaline’s death that I don’t know if I can keep it up if her entire genetic line is dead in one generation. 

I’m considering just putting Emmaline’s kids’ death rolls on hold until they start reproducing so that I have two lines of heirs that are genetically connected to my foundress. This feels like cheating, and it IS cheating, but I think the choice might be cheating or abandoning the whole thing and starting over.

I clearly have an absurd attachment to following the rules, especially in a challenge I picked for its tragedy. But I think that’s the choice -- redact Emmaline’s death, give her kids a pass, or start over. I suppose if I must, I could put the challenge formally on pause.

I also have my legacy. That got held up because I took a bunch of screenshots with a certain kind of narrative in mind, and now that I’m trying to write it, it doesn’t work. Story flow that makes more sense doesn’t have all the screenshots I would have wanted. But so be it. I think I can get my inspiration back if I just make myself open my editor and do it.