#earnlada

"เหนื่อยไหม"

I think one of the major overarching themes in this series is that you cannot force something to fit where it doesn't want to belong. And the only way to 'complete' the picture, ideally, is to patiently allow the pieces to be put together in the way they're supposed to.

I really really want to talk about Lada and how much I resonated with her as a character. In order for me to do that, I have to explain some cultural insights that revolve around Lada's familial structure.

Funnily enough, I was recently discussing certain matrilineal cultures that exist in Thailand and how they perpetuate a lot of bigoted ideals... and that is shown beautifully in Lada's relationship with her parents and how they each react to her queerness. To me, it seemed clear that Lada's parents' marriage was born from matrilocal customs. And unfortunately, that's not really something you would be able to pick up on if you weren't Thai (or natively Asian in general). So... in these types of families, women hold a lot of authority, and that authority is passed on through the female line (which is why daughters are valued over sons). The wife would manage and have the final say regarding household matters, including how the children are raised... and the husband's duty would be to respect his wife. A mother and her daughter maintain a continuous relationship with one another as, should the daughter marry, her husband would come to stay with them until they have a family of their own (and sometimes even after). It's a good way to strengthen matrilineal kinship, but it puts enormous cultural pressure on the daughter who is raised with very high expectations... the most pressuring of which is to marry a man and to have natural born children. Should the daughter not 'fit' this mold, they are often ostracized from the family.

It gives new meaning to hearing Khun Russamee say, "Lada is the seed I've nurtured since birth," doesn't it? It's why she is so against accepting and understanding Lada and Earn's relationship. Because in her mind, there doesn't exist a future where two women can uphold these matrilineal customs... and so the only reason Earn must be pursuing Lada is for some form of exploitation (i.e. money). She justifies her cruel and queerphobic behavior to keep them apart as some form of misaligned protection of her daughter and her daughter's future... to keep her from being taken advantage of and to help her see reason. It doesn't excuse the behavior at all... but at least you can understand the motivation (no matter how terrible). These types of mothers exist in the reality of Thai society... it's not just some cliched villain narrative. I'm speaking from experience here (NOT MY MOM! I LOVE MY MOM... my mother's mother).

In Thailand, we hold strong to the notion of บุญคุณ ('bunkhun'). This notion perpetuates the idea that we owe an endless debt of gratitude to our parents. It's seen as our "moral obligation". (Similar ideas exist in other Asian countries, as well)

Lada has done everything right. She's loved and obeyed her mother, she's cultivated a successful career with intentions to take over from her parents' leadership of the hospital, she's set herself up to be able to support her family's needs... She cannot imagine a life where her mother could ever not support her or her choices. Her one "fault" is that she is in love with a woman and refuses to conform to her mother's insistent heteronormative intentions (I loved the juxtaposition of this against P'Nu's defeated acceptance btw). She's rightfully exhausted from all the pressure to 'fit' her mother's mold of the perfect daughter, and Earn recognizes that.

So when her mother falls ill, and Lada is expected to take responsibility, it makes sense from the perspective of her familial structure. When she sacrifices her happiness for her mother and Earn understands the reasons why... it makes sense. Khun Russamee only comes to believe that Earn truly does love Lada once Earn willingly steps away from their relationship to ease Lada's mother's expectations... it's twisted, but it makes sense. And Khun Russamee does apologize, for whatever the frik that's worth (I can only try so much guys 😞😞😞) It's just part of our ingrained culture to value family despite their abusive behaviors. And as much as I wish that weren't the case, these views remain an actual reality. So, it isn't dishonest to portray them.

...The point is, the final pieces of the puzzle could only come together once they were allowed to. And then we finally got our happy ending!!!

Could certain story elements stand to be improved? Yes... but they're no worse than anything we've seen from BL series. And I do believe as time goes on, with more and more GL content being made, the writing will get better and stronger (I hope 🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾).