#e2-harrison

At the mention of you, Harry’s mouth dropped slightly and he found himself speechless for a moment. “What’re you talking about?”

“Oh, come on, now,” HR grinned widely. “Don't try and act like you don't know.”

He shook his head, still in denial. “Sorry, I don't do crushes.”

“Of course you don't,” HR agreed. “But you do fall in love.”

Harry scoffed. “That’s absurd.”

“Deny it all you want,” HR raised his cup of coffee, prior to taking a sip. “But I know you, compadre. We may be two different people with two different backgrounds, but we still share much of of the same thoughts.”

“I doubt it.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

Unconvinced, HR pursed his lips. “So, you don't mind if I go and talk to her then?”

Harry could feel the temperature inside him rising. He really didn't want to talk to anyone - much less, his lookalike - about his “affection.”

He knew HR was merely blabbering to get on his nerve; but, with the mischievous tone in that last sentence, he couldn’t help but take the bait. “What do you mean, talk to her?”

“You know, talk,” HR suggested innocently. “Preferably over a cup of coffee, but dinner and a movie works too.”

Just then, a slight movement caught both of their eyes.

Turning their attention to the door, they saw you walk down the hall, smiling and chatting profusely about the latest sci-fi movie with Barry. For a moment or so, Harry’s eyes trailed after you, listening intently to see if you had any plans to pursue a movie date with Barry.

Not that he felt threatened or anything.

He just didn’t like any thoughts or suggestions pertaining to.

At last, when you disappeared past the doorway, Harry’s eyes swung back to his doppelganger, who greeted him with a smug smile. He scowled.

HR brought his cup up to his mouth and continued his teasing reaction. For a moment, there weren’t any words exchanged between the two.

Feeling victorious and that his presence was no longer needed, HR began making his way towards the entrance of the Cortex. No doubt to ask you for that dinner date.

Harry exhaled irritably.

“...Okay,” he started, causing his doppelganger to stop a half-step and turn in his direction. “Let’s say I do have a little crush on ________. Hypothetically.”

A smug upward jerk turned the corner of HR’s lips.

He ignored it. “What do you suggest that I do?”

“I am very glad you asked, my dear friend,” the E-19 conman set his coffee down on the table prior to approaching Harry and slapping his hands on the other’s arms. “I suggest you take a little lesson in romance. From me.”

“Right,” Harry rolled his eyes. “From you.”

HR cast his partner a significant look.

The incredulous smile on Harry’s face faltered. “Wait, you’re being serious…?”

“Absolutely!” HR chirped, rolling up his sleeves prior to rubbing his hands together. “Believe it or not, my friend, I am an expert of the female population.”

At this point, a part of Harry regretted ever giving in to his look-alike’s suggestions; but, he figured it was too late now. Plus, he was sure HR would keep persisting in giving him advice even he decided to retract his answer.

Slipping his arm around Harry’s shoulders, HR leaned in and held a finger up.

“Now,” he started. “Here’s what you do…”

Imagine: You finally recover from your stressful breakdown, to find that Harry’s gone once again...

*~*~*~*~*

“________?! ________?!?!”

Panicked, Harry tightened his grip on your shoulders and shook you violently. Though he knew very well that it was the most counterproductive and harmful activity he could do to you at the moment, he was still somehow convinced that he could elicit some sort of response.

Somehow force you to snap out of your trance and get you to look at him.

He shook you hard once more. “________?!?!”

“Harry, stop!” Caitlin struggled to pry the physicist’s hands off of your limp body. Shoving herself between the two of you, she cast the older man a firm look. “That’s not helping anyone. You need to let her go.”

“But she’s not responding!” Harry hissed, reaching for you once more. She blocked him. “I need to know that she’s okay!”

“Well, she’s not!”

“Why the hell not?!”

“Because she’s gone into shock!” Though she was significantly shorter than the multiverse genius, Caitlin managed to match the firmness and ferocity that Harry exuded. “You need to leave her alone so I can give her the medical attention she needs!”

“But, I need to --”

“Harry!” She practically threw herself as the older man tried to grab you again. Arms flailing, bodies pushing, the two engaged in a quick and rough wrestle that was painful for both parties. “Harry! Harry, no--! Harry!”

Clearly, he wasn’t listening.

Although, how could he?

With how he treated you, the love of his life, for keeping one petty secret from him? He could’ve easily forgiven you and agreed to be the father instead of running away like some pathetic dead-beat. He wasn’t strong enough to protect you, strong enough to be there for you.

Just like the time Zoom took Jesse from him.

He couldn’t do anything.

How pathetic.

Harry’s movements got wilder and wilder, and Caitlin was starting to give in to her fatigue. She knew very well that she couldn’t hold off the man much longer. Casting a pleading look, she turned to the only person whom she knew could help.

“Jesse!” she called out.

Without explanation, the young speedstress immediately understood. She quickly dashed to her father, grabbed his arm and warped him out to the hallway - so hard, so fast that the two of them practically stumbled to their knees. Fortunately, they had thrown most of their weight to the wall and were able to steady themselves.

Once oriented, Harry furiously yanked his limb away.

“Jesse!” He spat, eyes glaring daggers through his beloved daughter’s head. “ What’re you - get off of me!!”

“Dad, no!” She locked arms with her father once more as he tried to escape and dash down the hall. “You need to stop! You need to calm down!”

“Calm down?!” The look on his face was incredulous. “Don't you dare tell me to calm down!”

“Well, what else do you want me to say?!” Jesse pleaded, brows knit together. “Freak out? Act up? Now, who is that going to help?!”

“Stop!”

Out of frustration, Harry ripped himself from her and brushed past. Jesse instantly caught Harry by the waist and swung him around in a U-turn. He staggered two steps forward before he realized he wasn’t going in the right direction.

Resentful, he shot the young speedstress a dark yet pained look. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Because,” she heaved a heavy sigh. “You’re in no condition to see her.”

His hands balled into fists. “You have no right to say that.”

“No right?” The concerned expression on her face deepened. “Dad, you were completely hysterical in there! If Caitlin hadn’t told me to pull you out, you’d still be trying to shake ________ awake. And then who knows what could happen to the baby...”

Upon the mention of his unborn child, Harry’s anger completely devolved into something almost unrecognizable: guilt. Because if he thought about it - if he really thought about it - none of the events would’ve happened if he stopped and considered how you were feeling.

How much stress he was putting on you.

And for what?

Bearing his child.

This was all his fault.

As if suddenly hearing the thoughts in his head, Jesse’s eyes widened. She swallowed hard. “I didn’t mean --”

“No,” Harry shook his head, cutting her off. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.”

With stressed, veiny hands, he ran his fingers through his hair and laced them behind his neck. He tilted his head up to gaze at the ceiling, as if somehow the solution to all of his problems would somehow be written there.

“...If I’d been in the right state of mind, then none of this would’ve happened. ________ and I wouldn’t have fought, she wouldn’t have had the miscarriage and we could’ve been a family.”

He cast her a remorseful look.

“You could’ve had a younger brother or sister…”

“Dad…” She shook her head violently. “Don’t do that to yourself. You couldn’t have known that this would happen.”

“...I don’t know, Jess,” Harry responded in a low, self-loathing tone.

Slumping against the nearest wall, he slowly slid down the surface and sat on the cold, unforgiving floor. Jesse took a seat next to him.

“It’s just, deep down…some part of me knew that I should’ve stopped, that I was taking things too far.” He tugged forcefully on his hair. “Yet, I kept going…”

“She’ll make it through, Dad,” Jesse comforted him. “________ is a strong person.”

“Y’know,” Harry smiled bitterly. “That's exactly what I said about your mother. Right before she passed away…”

For the longest time, Jesse kept quiet.

She didn't know what to say.

Although, how could she?

They've always talked about the better parts of their memories about her mom. Never about them by her bedside. It made Jesse uncomfortable that Harry was comparing her mom’s and your situation so easily.

She thought of several things she could say to comfort her dad that wouldn't sound hollow, wouldn't sound fake, wouldn't have Harry blaming himself for all that has happened; yet, nothing came to mind.

Out of other options, the young brunette simply leaned her head against her father’s shoulder and pulled his arm close.

Harry heaved a heavy sigh.

In the distance, a machine reared to life and filled the air with an autonomous, mechanical buzz. They listened to it for a while, both closing their eyes and feeling the comfort and warmth that the other had to offer.

They were in their own little world.

About fifteen minutes or so passed before they heard footsteps roaming down the hall. It didn't take long before Barry and Cisco appeared around the bend of the metallic corridor and approached them.

Harry and Jesse shot to their feet immediately. Their eyes were wide with anticipation.

“How is she?” Harry asked.

“________’s been stabilized,” Barry informed him. “She's sleeping right now; but, Caitlin’s trying to clean her up in the meanwhile.”

Harry nodded.

“That's good,” he said. “And the baby?”

There was an awkward silence that followed. Barry and Cisco exchanged troubled looks that did nothing but force Harry’s heart to beat violently against his ribcage.

“What?” He asked, blood pulsing through his veins, the scalding heat practically burning his insides. “What is it?”

Cisco shifted uncomfortably. “We’re not sure…”

“You're not...sure?” His voice was deceptively soft. “The hell is that supposed to mean, Ramon?”

The mechanical engineer sighed. “It means Caitlin still has to set up her lab and run some tests.”

“She said it may take some time,” Barry added. “But you're welcome to visit _________ until then.”

“Just don't touch her.”

For a moment, the multiverse physicist wanted to snap at them, tell the two what he really thought about not being able to touch you; but bit his tongue. He knew that no good would come from arguing, especially when they had a good and probable cause to remind him.

Jesse reached out and held her father’s hand.

Harry snapped out of his train of thoughts and cast a curious look down at her.

“Let's go,” she said, jerking her head in the direction of the Med Bay. “I want to see her.”

Pressing his lips into a hard line, Harry nodded in agreement. “Okay…”

The present members of Team Flash soon made their ways down the hall, all in hopes of your well-being.

*~*~*~*~*

You were asleep.

Eyes closed, breathing steady, you looked every bit unresponsive as Harry felt about the situation. Just the sight of you, lying motionless under the white fluorescent light of the lab, made his stomach twist and turn in ways he hadn't felt in a long while.

It made him sick.

Jesse’s grip tightened around her father's hand.

“She’ll be okay…” she whispered.

Harry didn't even bother to respond. Instead, he kept watching you carefully, as if hoping you'd somehow wake up any minute.

But you didn't.

And it was just killing him to play that guessing game with himself, counting backwards from three to one, and shouting ‘now’ inside his head to predict when you would wake up. It ate at his spirit with every passing second.

Harry rubbed the back of Jesse’s hand with his thumb prior to pulling away.

“Snow, Allen, Ramon,” he said, voice low and gravelly. They all turned their attention towards him, curious and anxious. “Mind if I have a moment alone with ________?”

There was an unspoken hesitation shared amongst the members of Team Flash, as they glanced at each other for guidance. Eventually, all their eyes turned to Dr. Caitlin Snow as she was the one who possessed the medical knowledge to make this decision.

Her brows furrowed in concern, that familiar calculating expression etched deeply into her face. Finally, Caitlin relaxed her shoulders and nodded.

“Okay,” she agreed reluctantly. “I can give you ten minutes. But, after that, I have to run more tests.”

Harry released a relieved sigh. “Thank you…”

She nodded.

Setting down the plastic clipboard on a nearby counter, she walked out of the Med Bay with Barry and Cisco following in suit. Jesse took a few steps back, lingering at the door for a moment.

“I’m gonna go too,” she said. “See if they need help setting up and everything.”

Harry nodded dismissively. “Okay.”

For a moment or so, Jesse watched her father slowly approach your bedside. He was cautious, almost scared - as of the slightest movement he made would put you in harm’s way once more.

It's just like the time Mom passed away… she thought.

Except, now, two lives were at risk instead of one.

That very thought rocked Jesse to her core.

Taking a few steps back, Jesse slowly eased herself out of the room and followed the rest of her friends to the Speed Lab.

Once his daughter’s footsteps disappeared, Harry was finally able to clear his mind. Stop the adrenaline from coursing through his veins and pounding against his head.

With wide, shaking hands, Harry allowed his fingertips to gently graze against your cheek. He trailed them ever so carefully on the side of your face, over the curve of your ear and through the slight tangle of your hair.

With every stroke, every move, his touch became more and more defined. His calloused skin pressed against yours, memorizing and reacquainting himself with all the features of your face that he'd missed so dearly.

A sharp sting started in the back of his eyes, momentarily blurring his vision.

God, how could he do this to you?

“I'm so sorry, ________,” His voice came out hoarse and dry. “I don't know what came over me, and I just --”

He stopped himself.

You were still unconscious, unable to hear all of his explanation - no matter how loud he spoke, no matter how many times he explained.

There was no point.

Yet, a part of him still wanted to try. Wanted to explain all the thoughts that ran through his head in the past few days.

Truth be told, Harry wasn't even all that angry about you keeping a secret from him. Rather, he was terrified.

Scared to his wits.

What with his age, his career and his ambitions, Harry simply assumed that he wouldn’t have time to start a family. Hell, it had been so long since he was last involved in a serious relationship.

It took all of his courage and pride before he could even remotely admit he was attracted to you.

Even more so when he decided to get physical with you.

He knew doing so could be dangerous, a catastrophic event that could potentially ruin your future. Yet, he still did it anyway because he wanted you.

He needed you.

So much that he let his greed blind his judgement and didn’t even consider the consequences of his actions.

This was all his fault.

Reaching for your hand, he held it tightly and lowered his forehead against your stomach. He listened - quietly, intently - searching for anything that may indicate that his child was somehow still alive.

Though, he knew it to be pointless.

His ears did not possess the ability to detect a growing heart. At this point, he was simply pretending to be a miracle doctor.

“God,” he let out a shaky breath. “I’m such a fucking idiot…”

Harry straightened himself and caressed your sleeping face once more.

You were oblivious to his touch, keeping that still-dead expression that scared him so much. He gently tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, and pressed his lips firmly against your forehead.

“I love you, ________,” he whispered, as if his words would somehow breathe life into you. “I love you so much…”

Lowering his head slightly, Harry brushed his lips on top of yours, your chapped skin slightly grating against his. He didn’t mind though.

He missed you.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise…” Harry whispered, just loud enough for you to hear. “I just can’t do that here…”

And without so much of a second thought, he pulled himself away from you.

*~*~*~*~*

Anger.

Burning hot anger.

It was the last thing you remembered, the last thing you felt before the world tipped sideways and rendered you speechless. Everything else after that was blurry.

Just as it was now.

Fluorescent lights blared brightly as you opened your eyes. The familiar scent of rubbing alcohol and sterile air invaded your senses, forcing you to become acutely aware of your surroundings.

You were in the Med Bay.

Lying in a gurney, hooked up to several machines that monitored your body fluids, breathing and whatever else medical experts deemed necessary for your wellbeing.

You groaned. God, I have one hell of a headache…

Carefully propping yourself up on your elbows, you looked around the room.

It was empty.

No signs of Barry, Cisco, Cait, Jesse and - most certainly - no signs of Harry. Not that you had high hopes for him. He made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with you or the baby.

A dull ache throbbed in your chest.

You missed Harry.

It’s been so long since he touched you. Held you in his arms, his broad, firm hands stroking you gently as the two of you quietly lie in bed.

The dull ache sharpened.

...Whatever, you shook your head decisively. Feeling sorry’s not gonna help anyone…

If anything, it's just gonna worry your friends and piss off Harry unnecessarily. And after how he's been towards you for the past few days, you weren't sure you could take much more.

Might as well get up, you thought.

Throwing the covers off, you carefully swung your legs over the side of the bed and sat up. A rush of cold wind dwindled up your limbs as a sudden realization dawned on you.

You weren't in your clothes.

Rather than the skinny jeans, white spaghetti strap shirt and dark blue blazer that you loved and adored so much, you had donned a short, papery patient’s gown with nothing but fresh underwear beneath.

The smell of cucumbers and fresh water seeped from your skin, specifically from around your thighs. As if someone had scrubbed hard and well to get rid of whatever had tainted you.

Your brows furrowed.

Quite carefully, you reached down and felt at the apex of your legs. It was still damp, an indication that the action happened not too long ago.

You couldn't help but frown. “What the hell…?”

Okay.

Now, you really had to get up.

Otherwise, you were just going to sit and stew in your own ignorance.

With expert hands, you removed the medical tape, took out the IV needles and set them down on the bed. You kept a firm pressure on your forearm to stop the bleeding - for about ten seconds - prior to releasing your hold.

Once sure the wound had closed, you pushed yourself off the gurney and looked around the room. Knowing Caitlin and how she treated all her patients, she always kept their clothes nearby should they ever feel the need to change.

It wasn't long before you found your own pair of jeans and, of course, S.T.A.R. Labs sweatshirt.

You shuffled closer.

Picking up the sweater, you read the tag and found that it had been appropriately chosen to be two sizes bigger - perfect accommodation for you and your newborn-to-be.

You smiled appreciatively. Guess I have to find Cait and thank her...

Taking a moment to look around, you made sure that you were the only one in the room prior to stripping out of your gown and changing. Just as you finished pulling your head through the neck opening, the sound of heels clacking against cement floors echoed, growing closer and closer each second.

Curious, you turned toward the entrance

There, passing through the Med Bay, with her high heels, young principal-like outfit and clear plastic clipboard, was Caitlin. She was flipping through a few pages, before she noticed the gurney was empty.

Though she was standing quite a ways away, you could tell the Bio-engineer’s heart practically leapt out of her chest. Her eyes widened upon meeting yours.

You waved bashfully.

“Hey, Doc,” you greeted. “I was just about to look for you.”

“________!” Cait set her belongings down on a nearby counter and quickly rushed over to you. “What are you doing? You're supposed to be resting!”

“Guess I got tired of waiting,” you admitted.

Taking you by the arm, the brunette guided you back to the gurney where you both took a seat. Curious, you gestured to the room. “Where is everyone?”

“In the Speed Lab,” Cait’s mouth twisted uneasily. “We were worried that you'd stress out if you woke up with everyone hovering over you.”

She grasped your hand gently.

“After what happened, we didn't want to put you or the baby at risk.”

“At risk…?”

The slight ambivalence in your tone caused the biochemist to freeze for a moment. She nodded slowly.

“Yes…” her voice was slow and cautious. “You do remember, don't you?”

Your forehead creased with worry.

A vague recollection of muffled voices and flashes of red weaved itself back into your memory. Though you haven't been told what had happened or had been given much of an opportunity to reflect back on the moment, you knew exactly what Caitlin was talking about.

What she was so hesitant to speak of.

With shaking hands, you gently laced your fingers over your stomach. Tears welled up at the corner of your eyes, blurring your vision.

Caitlin leaned closer, concerned. “________?”

“The baby,” you whispered. “Is the baby okay?”

She tensed.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Your heart shrivelled up inside your ribcage, the last bit of light dying as you waited for her to speak. Though you were praying for the best, a part of you braced yourself for whatever bad news may follow.

Caitlin squeezed your hand once more. “The baby is okay…”

You released a shaky breath. “Oh, thank god…!”

“But…”

“But?” A stab of anxiety tore through your insides once more as your muscles tensed and forced you to sit up straight. “What do you mean, but…?”

Caitlin took a moment to collect her thoughts. “You're still at a risk for miscarriage.”

Miscarriage…

You wanted to laugh.

I mean, hell. Caitlin was talking about you, possibly losing your baby. That's got to be some sort of sick joke. I mean, this never happened in real life, right?

A dull ache started beating against your skull, as all sorts of possibilities and scenarios invaded your mind. As if reading your thoughts - or, most likely, the expression on your face, the bioengineer gave you a few moments to let the reality sink in.

With a dazed expression, you gently ran your hands across your stomach. Searching for any semblance of life that may reside in it. When you couldn't find any, your worry grew even more.

“You said I was at a risk,” you started slowly. “Does that mean my baby is dying?”

“Well…” Caitlin chewed on her bottom lip. “Not exactly.”

What the hell is THAT supposed to mean? As much as you wanted to lash out, you bit your tongue.

Leaning forward, Cait began her explanation.

“The term ‘miscarriage’ is very broad,” she started gently. “While most people think that it simply refers to a single event - a spontaneous expulsion of the fetus from the womb that can happen at any given moment - there are many different stages and types of miscarriages. The one you experienced is commonly referred to as a ‘threatened miscarriage.’”

She said the word as if it was supposed to make things better.

It didn’t.

Still, you kept quiet and waited for her to continue on.

“Now, this particular case is called ‘threatened’ because you display signs of inevitable and complete miscarriages; but, upon further examination, it’s revealed that your cervix has remained intact.”

Your breath hitched slightly as you started to catch on to what she was saying. “Meaning…?”

“Meaning,” Caitlin repeated. “That your baby is safe and in good health. For now.”

At this point, the blinding anger that festered in your chest started to subside, and relief began to fold over you. Even so, a part of you remained skeptical.

“Okay…” you shifted slightly in your seat. “So, what exactly caused my miscarriage?”

Caitlin’s frown deepened.

“Unfortunately,” she glanced worriedly at your stomach. “The actual cause of a miscarriage is frequently unclear. Most experts say that it's often due to abnormal chromosomal activity; but, I don't think that was it.”

You furrowed your brows. “What do you suspect it is?”

She took a deep breath. “Stress, most likely…”

“Stress?” You asked.

Cait nodded.

“During times of physical or emotional turmoil, the brain releases a hormone called corticotropin-releasing hormone - CRH for short.”

“Okay…” You nodded slowly.

A part of you felt intimidated by the long, complicated-sounding medical term; but, forced yourself to stay attentive anyway. As if catching on to your panic, Cait slowed herself.

“Now...” she continued cautiously. “The release of CRH triggers a chain reaction in the body. The chain reaction leads to uterine contractions. And the uterine contractions lead to spontaneous abortions.”

She squeezed your hand once more.

“Make sense?”

You nodded yet again; though, truth be told, her simplification didn't make digesting the facts any easier.

“That being said…” the bioengineer stood up and reached for her stethoscope so she could examine you as she proceeded with her commentary. “It is perfectly normal to experience nausea, light cramps, occasional spotting or very light bleeding during the early stages of pregnancy. In fact, a large percentage of women do. However…”

She paused momentarily, listening to any abnormalities in your breathing.

“If your symptoms progress on to moderate to severe back pain, weight loss, white-pink mucus discharge, brown or bright red bleeding with or without cramps, let me know ASAP.”

The drum of the stethoscope slid from your breast bone to the small of your back.

“This is especially important with painful contractions that occur every five to twenty minutes.” She cast you a firmer look. “Understood?”

You released a sigh. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.”

With that, Caitlin carried on her medical examination and hardly spoke a word. You anxiously fiddled with your thumb as you waited for her to finish.

“You know,” Caitlin started, unhooking the headset from her ears and wrapping it around her neck. “Everyone's really sorry about what happened earlier. For stressing you out, I mean…”

You shook your head.

“It's fine,” you said, giving her a bashful smile. “I get it. You were all worried about me. How can I hate you guys for that?”

Cait smiled apologetically. “Still…”

“It's fine,” you repeated. “Really.”

The brunette remained skeptical; though, didn't argue any further. “If you say so…”

An awkward second passed yet again as the two of you tried to figure out what to do, what to say next. It was a good moment or so when Cait finally spoke up. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay, I guess,” You shrugged. “Haven't felt or experienced any of the symptoms you mentioned, so --”

“Not physically,” Cait interrupted. “I mean, emotionally.”

You blinked, surprised. The bioengineer was hardly the type to talk about affection of any sort; at least, not since Ronnie’s death and Zolomon’s betrayal. It was difficult for her.

As it was for you now.

With your forehead creased with worry, you lowered your gaze and thought of an appropriate response to the question. When you couldn't find any, it proved to be frustrating.

Caitlin frowned. “________?”

“Sorry,” you apologized. “I wish I could answer that.”

She tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

“What I mean is that I…” you paused to take a deep breath. “...I don't really know how to feel. I mean, how am I supposed to when I've had a near miscarriage and the father doesn't want to be around me?”

“...Right,” Caitlin pressed her lips into an awkward, self-scolding smile. “Not something they teach you in the American Girl’s handbook.”

You couldn't help but laugh. “You actually read those?”

She flushed brightly. “From time to time.”

Oh, Caitlin, you shook your head internally as you laughed once more. That would explain so much...

Before you knew it, your cheeks started to hurt. It took a moment for you to realize that it was because you were smiling.

A real smile.

Something you hadn't done in days. And frankly, the realization made you widen your grin even more in both pain and pleasure. It wasn't long before you noticed the same bright expression pressed on Cait’s face.

Taking a step back, she gestured towards the door with her head. “Come on,” Cait said gently. “Everyone’s waiting for you.”

And with that, you pushed off the gurney and followed her out.

*~*~*~*~*

“Is that even possible?”

“Of course, it is!”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Cisco nodded adamantly. “All we have to do is figure out how to bypass the difference in curve radius between the two wheels and - boom! - we’ve got ourselves a functioning wheelchair.”

Barry furrowed his brows. “But what about the wiring…?”

“We’ll figure it out.” The mechanical engineer shrugged nonchalantly. “Besides, how hard could it be?”

The speedster frowned worriedly.

While he loved the thought of rigging out the Evil Wells’ old wheelchair to better fit your needs, he was a little skeptical about how they were going to accomplish the task.

Despite the fact that his best friend had the ability to create and repair several types of machinery, Cisco wasn’t as much of an expert in electrical engineering as he thought himself to be.

Why else would S.T.A.R. Labs’ security fail so frequently?

Oblivious to his thoughts, Cisco reached next to Jesse, who sat beside him, and grabbed the nearest pair of wire cutters. He gave it a good squeeze or two, prior to placings its bladed jaws around the yellow wire.

Barry and Jesse watched intently.

Just as he was about to cut through, Cisco released the pressure on the handles and pulled away. His mouth twisted in confusion.

“Wait,” he said, wracking his brain once more. “Maybe it was the blue one?”

Jesse frowned. “Is it?”

Cisco shrugged. “I think?”

He repositioned the metallic cutters around the said blue wire, and started the process of cutting; only to pull back once more.

“No, I’m definitely sure it’s the yellow one,” he corrected himself. “I’m like...eighty percent positive.”

Barry raised his eyebrows. “Eighty percent?”

Cisco stared blankly at his best friend for several seconds.

“Dammit,” the mechanical engineer cursed under his breath and placed the wire cutters back in the toolbox. “You’re right. We need to review the manual...again.”

Though he didn’t say anything, there was an almost helpless look scrawled across Barry’s face, one that spelled out a small “I told you so.”

Taking the hint, Cisco’s frown deepened.

“Hey man,” he started, voice soft. “I know. I wish ________ was here too. She knows more about this than any of us. But…”

He heaved a heavy sigh.

“We gotta work with what we have.”

Barry nodded. “Yeah…”

Pushing herself off the ground, Jesse stood up, straightened her shirt and nodded to her friends. “I’ll go get the manual.”

Turning on her heel, the young speedstress started to make her way towards Cisco’s desk, only to stop a few steps after. Her eyes widened with watery relief.

Cheeks flushed brightly, you waved from the doorway. “Hey…”

“________,” she whispered.

Upon hearing your name, Barry and Cisco stopped their conversation mid-sentence and glanced over their shoulders to see you. A spike of anxiety shot up your spine and you began to sweat.

God, what do I do now? You thought, stiffening slightly under their gaze. How am I supposed to greet them anyway?

In fact, how were you supposed to greet anyone who had just witnessed the most vulnerable moment in your life and act like nothing happened?

Thankfully, Jesse didn’t give you long to ponder on the question as the young Wells rushed over and threw her arms around you. You stumbled back a half-step; but, nonetheless, returned the gesture.

“Oh my god, ________,” She buried her face at the crook of your neck. “Thank god you’re alright.”

You couldn’t help but smile.

“‘Course I’m alright,” you reassured her, tightening your arms around the young speedstress. “Didn’t I always tell you I kick ass?”

She laughed almost tearfully. “‘Course you do…”

“Hey, don’t forget about me,” Cisco walked over, a wide, loving smile spreading across his face as he held out his arms. He piled on to the group hug and gave you a good squeeze. “I missed you too, you know?”

“I missed you too, dork.”

He wrinkled his nose. “You’re lucky I love that name.”

The three of you exchanged light, quick banter as Barry made his way to you in a slow and steady pace. He waited patiently for Jesse and Cisco to release you from their grip before opening his arms and giving you one of the many hugs you’ll be receiving that day.

“Hey, ________,” he rubbed your back. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

You nodded. “You and me both.”

Beside you, Caitlin pursed her lips.

“Okay, that’s enough touching,” she reminded everyone. “She just got out of bed and is still a little groggy from the meds I gave her earlier.”

She cast everyone a grumpy look.

“Don’t stress her out too much.”

Cisco nodded, giving her a small salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

For a moment, you chatted with the rest of Team Flash, all of them wondering how you and the baby were doing. They asked about names, when the baby was due, and all sorts of questions that pregnancy raised.

All of which should be discussed with the one person who wasn’t here.

Shifting from one foot to the other, you smiled awkwardly. “I hope you guys don’t mind me asking, but…where’s Harry?”

There was a resounding silence that filled the room. The once friendly atmosphere finally faded away, only to be replaced with uncomfortable looks. Barry, Cisco, Caitlin and Jesse glanced between each other as if holding a private conversation of their own.

Your forehead creased with worry. “Guys?”

Barry swallowed. “Harry left a while ago…”

“What do you mean, ‘he left?’”

“Well, that’s to say…” he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. “He sort of disappeared.”

Jesse nodded in unison with Cait. “We can’t find him at all.”

“But don't worry!!” Cisco interjected hurriedly. “We will! And once we do, we’ll talk some sense into him, and --”

“No,” you shook your head. “It’s okay.”

The look on everyone’s faces was completely priceless. So much so that you couldn't help but smile.

While Harry’s absence did darken your mood by a bit, the amount of love and care that everyone gave you completely overshadowed whatever negativity you felt at the moment. The rest of Team Flash shared several confused looks amongst themselves, before Cisco broke the silence.

“Really?” He asked. “You're sure about that?”

“Yeah,” you flashed everyone a reassuring smile. “I mean, I've survived this long, right? What's a few more months before I meet the love of my life again?”

Barry and Jesse furrowed their brows. “Love of your life?”

“Uh-huh.” You nodded. “It won't be long before you meet them too.”

Presently running your hands from the top of your abdomen to the bottom, you showed them how far along you were. Through the large, thick fabric of the sweatshirt, everyone could tell that your baby - whatever gender it may be - was no larger than the size of a plum.

A look of understanding soon came over everyone and, before you knew it, they accepted your decision.

“Okay,” Barry crossed his arms and examined you carefully. “Yeah, if that’s what you want. We’ll support whatever decision you make.”

“We mean it,” Jesse added. “Know that we’re all here for you.”

“I do,” you said. “Thank you.”

“...And speaking of being here for you,” Cisco rubbed his hands together, prior to hooking his arm around your neck. “Does this mean I get to be the godfather?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Godfather?”

“Hell yeah,” the mechanical engineer gave you a lopsided grin. “You know me. I’ll be the best one your baby’ll ever have.”

You raised a curious eyebrow. “Why’s that?”

“Because….” Cisco quickly released you from his grip and extended his arm to the upturned wheelchair sprawled on the floor. “I’m the one who’s been making all sorts of cool devices for you and your baby.”

Beside him, Jesse coughed.

Cisco rolled his eyes.

“Jesse and Barry helped too,” he admitted. “But, still, it’s mostly me.”

Before either of the speedsters could argue with his point, Cisco reached in his back pocket and fished out what looked to be a small watch-like device. His face lit up with immediate delight, a blatant indication of how proud he was to have made this invention.

“This is for you, by the way.”

Reaching for your hand, he placed his creation on your wrist. Buckled in with the perfect tightness.

Your forehead wrinkled in confusion.

“Uh, thanks…?” you said as sincere as you could. “What is it?”

“This,” he started in a very pompous voice, “is a portable baby monitor that you can use to check on the status of your baby’s health. It comes with a standard sonogram function and a detachable microphone, so you can always hear your baby, even from another room. And there’s even an alarm function that lets you know the optimum feeding time for your child.”

“Wow,” you mused, carefully examining his gift. “This is amazing.”

“Of course it is,” Cisco winked. “I also set it up with some nano-tech batteries that Jesse brought from Earth-2, so you shouldn’t have to worry about replacing them until mini-you graduates college.”

The mechanical engineer clapped his hands together excitedly.

“Well,” he started. “What do you think?”

“I honestly don’t know what to say,” you admitted, constantly turning your attention from him to the monitor. “Thank you, Cisco.”

“Anytime, baby girl,” he grinned.

“Don’t call her baby girl...”

Everyone jumped.

Glancing over your shoulder, all of Team Flash looked in the direction where the low, gruff voice came from. There, standing in the middle of the doorway, was Harry. He looked weary and tired; but, mostly, he just looked annoyed.

Probably from the nickname.

Regardless, your heart still leapt out to him. Arms dropping to your side, you took a small, hesitant step towards the man. “Harry…”

His gaze immediately shifted towards you.

For the longest time, the multiverse physicist didn’t say anything; rather, he just kept his dark, piercing eyes trained on to you. He swallowed hard.

“________,” he whispered, voice cracked. “You’re okay…”

It took a moment or so for you register his simple statement and respond. “Yeah,” you nodded. “What about you?”

“I’m fine.”

Though he said so, the cut tone to his voice proved otherwise.

From the corner of your eyes, you could tell that everyone was watching the two of you intently. Waiting, gauging on whether this was a situation that could potentially cause more complications with your unborn child.

Taking note of the sudden tension, Harry cleared his throat. “I, uh...need a moment with ________. Alone, please…”

Barry, Cisco and Jesse turned their attention towards Caitlin once more.The bioengineer pursed her lips, as she thought of a proper response. When you saw that she couldn’t come to a decision, you placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

She turned to you.

“It’s okay,” you flashed her your most convincing smile. “I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?” she asked.

“Positive.”

“If you say so.”

Nodding towards the rest of Team Flash, she led everyone out of the room and down the hall. With all who passed you, they gave a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before shooting a suspicious look towards the older Wells.

He merely ignored them.

It didn’t take long before the two of you were finally alone.

You shifted uncomfortably once more. “Harry --”

The man charged at you and pulled you into a tight, suffocating hug. With one arm around your waist and a firm hand cradling your head, Harry held you in a way he never had before. His hold was strong and tense, almost painful to be in; but, you couldn’t have cared less.

He was here.

With you.

“Harry --” you started once more as you tried to pull away; but, the man wouldn’t have it.

Instead, against your attempted struggle, he kept you pressed to his frame and buried his face in the crook of your neck. Through the slightest movement, you could tell he was shaking, finding it difficult to breathe as tears fell down his face.

“Thank god,” he whispered, after you somehow managed to loosen his grip and slowly bring your hands to rub his back. “You’re alright right…!”

You stared at the ceiling blankly, his words taking longer than normal to register in your head. “Y-yeah,” you stammered, finally able to formulate a proper response. “Of course...I’m alright. The baby’s alright.”

“I didn’t know what I’d do if I lost you,” he continued softly. “Either of you…”

There was a strange tone to his voice, something that you didn’t recognize. Before you could discern its identity, Harry reared back and pressed his lips fixedly on your forehead. His fumbling fingers brushed your hair back and held your face completely still, only allowing your wandering gaze to move.

It was only then that you realized how red his eyes were.

As if he’d been crying for a longer period of time than he’d allow anyone else to see. His nose and cheeks were flushed as well.

You stared at him, mouth slightly agape. “Harry, you’re --”

“Don’t say it,” Harry let out a half-choked laugh. “Last thing I want is for Ramon to find out I have a soft side.”

You couldn’t help but smile a bit.

“Don’t worry,” you teased. “I won’t tell.”

“As far as I know.”

You rolled your eyes. “Asshole.”

For a moment, the multiverse physicist was silent, and it terrified you that you had touched a nerve. Instead, he released a heavy sigh, his bright gaze darkening to a guilt-ridden one.

“...I am,” he admitted, surprisingly. “Look, ________. I’m sorry - about treating you the way I did. It was immature, irresponsible, and I was just --”

You shook your head. “It’s fine.”

His brows furrowed.

“What?”

“You don’t need to tell me,” you explained to him, keeping your tone leveled and sincere. “You’ve told me about how you felt about starting a family. How that freaked you out.”

Brushing your fingers across his cheeks, you dried his tears.

“I should’ve known,” you said.

He shook his head apologetically once more. “I’m sorry.”

“Like I said,” you smiled. “It’s okay.”

Harry closed his eyes, resisting the urge to shed another tear.

He covered your hand with his, allowing himself to feel your warmth for the first time since he and Jesse returned from Earth-2. He pulled you close once more and rocked you against his chest.

Smiling contently, you let him.

The two of you stayed there for a while, following each other’s movements as you both made up for lost time. Harry’s grip had changed; he no longer held as someone he lost, but as someone he loved, cherished.

Someone who truly belonged to him.

And it was that very tenderness that had you fall for the man over again, just as you had when he first stepped through the portal held in S.T.A.R. Labs’ basement.

“You know, ________,” Harry hummed as he nestled his mouth against your hair and kissed your head. “I hope it’s not too late for me to say this…”

You closed your eyes. “Say what?”

“I still want to be the father,” he confessed, somewhat abashed. “I still want to be in your life, and in our child’s life. That is, if you’d let me…”

The smile broadened across your lips. “Of course,” you nodded, burying your face further into his chest. “How could I refuse?”

“Then,” he suddenly sounded uneasy. “In that case, I have something to show you…”

You looked at him curiously. “What is it?”

Without saying a word, Harry pulled away, allowing his broad hands to travel from your back, over your shoulders, down your arms and to your hand. He gave it a gentle tug as he walked back a few steps.

“Come on,” he said. “Follow me.”

Harry led you through S.T.A.R. Labs’ winding hallways until you reached the Cortex. He held your hand the whole way, refusing to let go - something he’s never done before.

As you said, Harry was never much of a physical man.

He was always the type to show his affection through little gadgets and intellectual tid-bits. Even so, this was a welcome change.

As you arrived at the Cortex, you and Harry saw everyone gathered around the main table. Their faces lit up at the sight of your entwined fingers.

Cisco grinned widely. “I see things went well?”

Harry shot him a dark, sinister look. “Not another word, Ramon, or I will throw you in the pipeline.”

“Yeah, right,” The mechanical engineer rolled his eyes. “I’ll have you know, ________ picked me to be your baby’s godfather.”

“And I’ll have you know I can still pick Allen.”

Cisco’s jaw practically fell to the floor. “You did not.”

Harry raised his head. “Try me.”

While the two passive-aggressive besties were arguing amongst themselves, you made eye contact with the rest of the members in the room and laughed. Though, truth be told, none were louder than yours.

“Harry,” you asked, tugging on his hand. “Didn’t you have something you wanted to show me?”

The older Wells blinked, snapping out of his thoughts. “Oh, right,” he said, scanning the room. “Now, where the hell did I --?”

“Is this it?” Jesse asked.

She carefully lifted a medium-sized gray box for everyone to behold. Harry’s eyes brightened upon seeing it.

“Yeah, that’s it,” He reached for the package in his daughter’s hands. “Thanks, Jess.”

Everyone gathered around, quite nosily, as Harry momentarily stared at the package prior to giving it to you. With careful hands, you observed it.

The box was light, weighing no more than five pounds. For several moments, you thought of the many items it could hold; but, nothing came to mind. As if sensing your need for encouragement, Harry nudged you.

“Open it,” he said.

You nodded.

Working your fingers under the cover, you pulled the top off and stared at all its contents. Everyone leaned in to get a better look.

Inside the box were a jumble of strings, a few long wooden rods, and several hand carved wooden spheres painted to look like the planets of the solar system. You tilted your head to the side, curious to find out what it meant.

Pinching the loop of a string that seemed oddly placed at the middle of the wooden rods, you lifted the contraption up. All the parts seemed to magically fall into place as the gift took shape.

Your eyes widened with awe. “Is this --?”

“My mobile!” Jesse exclaimed.

You turned to the younger Wells, only to be greeted by a bright, glowing smile. Making her way next to you, she hardly took her gaze off the childhood memorabilia.

“Oh my god…” she mused, barely able to contain her excitement. “I haven’t seen this in years! Where did you find it?”

Harry shrugged sheepishly.

“It was in one of the boxes I kept in storage,” he explained. “I had to travel back to our Earth for it. We haven’t really had a use for the thing in a few years; but, with ________ being pregnant and all…”

He trailed off, hoping everyone would understand anyway. A sharp, familiar sting started in the back of your eyes.

You were at a complete loss for words.

“Well…” Harry started nervously. “What do you think?”

Setting down the beautifully-crafted solar system, you placed the box down on the table before you turned to Harry.

He was watching you with careful eyes.

Fumbling with the hem of your sweater, you thought long and hard about how to react. Though, truth be told, nothing came to mind. “I don’t know what to say…”

A kind, heart-warming smile spread across his lips.

“That’s fine,” he stroked your cheek and pulled you close once more. “But I have something to say to you, something I want everyone to know…”

Harry turned to the room to make sure everyone was watching and, once satisfied that he had their undivided attention, focused back on you. He brushed your hair with his fingers once more, before neatly tucking the loose locks behind your ear.

“These last few days,” he started slowly. “Have been some of the hardest we’ve ever had to deal with. I lost my way, couldn’t find the path back to you. But…”

He took a deep breath.

“The one thing I never lost track of was you. You are my conscience, my beating heart, my world and all. You are the reason why I am a better man and have the motivation to become a better father - for both Jesse and our unborn child. Without you, I wouldn’t be half the man I am now.”

Your vision blurred; a fat tear or two spilling from your eyes, leaving a messy saline trail down your cheek. Even so, Harry continued on.

“So, please, ________, stay with me.” Harry pleaded. “I know we’ve had our troubles, but...”

Shaking your head, you took his hand and placed it on your stomach once more. His eyes grew wide, both in wonder and surprise. You couldn't help but broaden your smile.

You hardly flinched.

While his heated temper did scare the living hell out of you, you had somehow acclimated to withstanding against his outbursts. He had done it enough times around you to become familiar with it.

Taking a half-step forward, Barry opened his mouth. “You know, Harry --”

“Shut up, Allen.”

There was an implied, ‘I’m going to kill you.’ Barry retreated back, alongside Cait and Cisco, his face pouting as if he were a kindergartener who had been scolded by his teacher.

Harry shot you a nasty, seething glare. “And you. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Again, you refused to meet his gaze.

Knowing full well that he wouldn’t accept your apology - much less, believe it - you swallowed. “I'm sorry…”

“I'm sorry?!” He let out a laugh tinged with hysteria. “Oh, yeah, because ‘sorry’ always makes everything better...! Not.”

Beside you, Cisco leaned over to Caitlin. “He’s doing the ‘not’ thing again.”

Harry’s ears perked up, and he jabbed a finger right at the mechanical engineer. “I will hit you.”

That instantly shut Cisco up.

An ominous silence took over.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Harry ran his large through his hair once more. He really looked like he was going to lose his mind.

Finally, after closing his eyes and counting to ten, Harry breathed out. “Why did you do it, ________?”

You pursed your lips. “Why did I save Cisco and Dante?”

“No.” He said, voice cut and clear. “Why did you put yourself in harm’s way?”

Is he being serious right now? That shouldn't even be a question. Hell, he should know the answer to that.

Yet, you found yourself explaining all of this anyway.

“They were in danger, Harry,” you said with a slightly heated tone. “What was I supposed to do; let them die?”

“No. But --”

“Really?” You snipped. “‘Cause that's what it sounds like you wanted me to do.”

“Ramon’s not a child,” Harry interjected. “He can take care of himself. You, on the other hand, are--”

“Not a child, either…” You took a step forward and raised your head, challenging. “Now, from what I can see, you're the only one who has a problem with me fighting Rupture.”

He gritted his teeth. “No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

You rolled your eyes. “When I came here with Cisco and Dante, Barry and Cait all thought I did an amazing job for keeping them alive. That it was only the van that got torn up. Yet…”

Harry opened his mouth to argue; but, you somehow managed to stop him with a cold, hard stare.

“You're the only one who seemed to think I’m incapable of doing what I do.”

Hell, you've been catching metahumans since Barry became the Flash. You were practically his partner.

This wasn't the first time you've fought a dangerous enemy from Earth-2, and certainly not the first time you've encountered a life-threatening situation. Harry knew that.

So, what the heck changed?

“Tell me, Harry,” you whispered, hands clenching to fists. “Why is that?”

You expected Harry to argue, to raise his voice, throw more bullshit excuses as to why you were incompetent at your job; but he didn't. Instead, the look on his face actually softened.

The expression vaguely reminded you of resignation. Definitely not what you were expecting.

Harry didn't move.

Though the silence between you lasted mere seconds, it certainly felt longer than that. You searched his eyes for any indication of what he could possibly be thinking, though found none. It was always difficult to tell with him.

Finally, after gathering his thoughts, Harry sighed. “You wanna know why I'm acting like this? Fine.”

Reaching up to your shoulders so anxiously, he gave you a tight squeeze.

“I lost my wife years ago, ________,” He started, looking into your eyes with a mixture of anger and fear. “And now, quite possibly, I could lose my daughter. I can't lose you too. It would kill me…”

Your eyes grew wide. Does that mean…?

As if coming to the same realization, Barry, Cisco and Cait gaped. They exchanged looks of astonishment amongst themselves, prior to staring at you two.

You couldn't help but fidget under Harry’s needing gaze.

He looked at you intently, as if waiting for a response, a reciprocal understanding to stay safe for him; but, you were too shocked to do anything. You've never really thought of Harry like that; nor, were you aware that you had that effect on him.

It was simply a lot to take in.

Seeing you freeze under tension, Harry released you. You blinked twice before turning your head up to face him.

“Well, ________,” he whispered. “Now you know…”

He waited a few more seconds to see if you would speak.

You didn't.

Harry exhaled heavily.

Reaching over to a nearby table, he grabbed his gun, slung the strap over his shoulder and adjusted the length to fit snugly across his chest. He shoved his hands into his front pockets awkwardly.

“I'm heading out.”

With quick, hurried steps, the multiverse physicist left the room in resound silence.

You were left to stand there in the Cortex, cold and stunned, with Barry, Cisco and Cait beside you. Harry’s footsteps faded away in the distance as you ran the conversation over and over in your head.

Just as you were about to argue, you remembered that she had graduated high school at the age of 15 and then pursued five degrees in college afterward. How the young speedstress managed to do that in the first place was a complete mystery to you.

A low chuckle resounded from your lips. “You are one talented person,” you admitted to her.

“I try,” she grinned.

There was a slight pause in conversation as you walked towards the edge of the elevated platform. She closed her distance as well, arms crossing.

“So,” Jesse gestured towards the machine you had been working on. “Are you done? I was hoping we could talk for a bit.”

Hopping off so that you could be on the same level, you nodded. “What about?”

“Family,” she answered, nonchalantly. “I heard I was gonna be a big sister?”

You froze. She knows…

All too quickly, your mind began forming these uninvited thoughts that involved Jesse scolding you, interrogating you, demanding how you could keep something so important hidden from them.

As if reading your thoughts, Jesse reached out and grabbed your hand.

“Hey,” she gripped you tightly, as you tensed under her touch. “It’s okay. I'm not mad or anything.”

You stared at her, completely baffled. “You're not?”

Jesse shook her head.

“No,” she repeated. “I mean, I was a little surprised, sure. But, I'm not mad…”

She trailed off as the two of you took seats on nearby chairs. There was another moment of silence as you took a deep breath.

Despite the fact that you knew she wouldn't judge you, you still couldn't help but avoid her gaze. A fact that Jesse clearly understood as she patiently waited for you to sort out your thoughts.

“So,” you awkwardly rubbed the back of your neck. “How did you find out?”

“My dad,” she smiled, and both of you shared a ‘no-duh’ look. “He started acting strange a few days ago. I asked him what's wrong multiple times; but, he just kept pushing me away.”

You nodded. That sounds like Harry alright...

Pulling your lips into a tight line, you cast her an almost apologetic look. “How did you find out?”

“I dragged it out of him,” she answered politely; though, from what you could tell, there was a mischievous hint to her smile. “I said I would go and talk to you if he didn't tell me what was going on, and he caved in immediately.”

“I see…” you took another deep breath, working yourself up to ask the next question. “How, uh… how is he?”

For a brief moment, you thought you saw worry flash before her eyes, causing you to shift in your seat uncomfortably.

“He’s doing better,” Jesse admitted, after taking a second to find the right words. “When he first found out a few days ago, he couldn't eat, sleep, drink - he couldn't do anything that a normal, functioning human could. And it worried me.”

A stab of guilt tore through you. I didn't know…

Simply recognizing that fact made your heart ache, and your body sore. The person you loved the most was now suffering at your expense, and you couldn't do anything about it because you were his source of unhappiness.

You felt lightheaded just thinking about it.

“He still loves you, you know?” Jesse interjected, dragging you out of your thoughts. “He may be avoiding you and all, but that still hasn't changed the way he feels.”

She scooted closer and slipped her arm around your shoulders. The sweet gesture was enough to make your eyes sting.

“For what it's worth,” Jesse gave you a good squeeze. “I don't blame you for being scared of my dad...”

You let out a pained chuckle. “Really?”

“Really,” she repeated. “I love him and all; but sometimes, he can be - how Cisco would put it - a little dickish.”

“Just a little?” You added.

The brunette shook her head side to side, contemplating. “Maybe more.”

And just like that, you two found yourselves smiling. Whatever tension has festered minutes before had somehow eased itself into a more friendly, relaxed environment.

It made you happy.

Like a heavy burden had been lifted and you could finally breathe again. Turning so, you reached over and wrapped both arms around the sweet girl.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“No problem.”

Just then, you heard footsteps echo by the entrance. It wasn't long before a voice followed out, too.

“Hey Jesse, are you in --” Harry stopped mid-sentence as he rounded the entrance and turned his gaze upon you.

Although you were quite a ways from him, you saw his jaw clench tightly and his hands balled into fists.

You shied away from Jesse’s touch, feeling unexplainable guilty. Your mouth parting slightly, you stood from your seat. “Harry…”

He refused to acknowledge you.

Though it was expected, your heart still sank.

Turning away, he faced his daughter with an equally closed expression. “Jesse,” he jerked his head over his shoulder. “We need to talk.”

She frowned. “Talk about what?”

“Something important,” Harry answered promptly, in a ‘no-nonsense’ kind of way. He clearly wanted to leave the room as soon as possible. “Let’s go.”

As he started for the door, Jesse remained put. She didn't seem to like his answer. “Why can't you just tell me here?” She challenged him, causing her father to stop in his tracks. “I mean, you can talk to us about anything.”

Harry swallowed hard.

Not in the traditional sense that he was nervous; but, more so in self-restraint. As if it was taking his all not to lash out at the young speedstress.

Closing his eyes, he ran a quick hand across his face and exhaled. “Pack your bags,” he announced finally. “We’re leaving tomorrow morning.”

Your breath hitched.

And from what you could tell from her expression, Jesse’s did too.

Her mouth fell agape.

“What do you mean, we’re leaving tomorrow?” She narrowed her eyes and cast him a sharp stare. “We can't leave.”

“We can and we will,” Harry pressed, raising his head high. “There’s no reason for us to stay anymore…”

His words cut you deep. How could he say that...?

While you understood the fact that he was upset at you - and all of the hateful behavior he expressed had been warranted - you couldn't face the fact that he was going to leave things unresolved...

It broke your heart into more pieces than it deserved.

Pain tore through your body once more.

Jesse, who appeared to share the same resentment, crossed her arms.

“No reason to stay,” she repeated, a tinge of hysteria in her voice. “Right. It's not like the woman you love is pregnant or anything.”

A vein pulsed on Harry’s neck. “Jesse…”

“No, Dad…!” She gestured wildly towards you and the gentle swell of your stomach. “You can't just decide to leave ________ when you don't know how to deal with a situation. It's not fair to her.”

“Not fair,” he let out a humorless laugh. “That's funny, considering she never told me she was pregnant in the first place…”

Upon hearing the sharp tone to his voice, you cringed. An action that didn't go unnoticed by Jesse.

“You know, you can't exactly blame her,” she pointed out. “With all due respect, it's terrifying to admit important things to you.”

“But that doesn't mean I won't understand,” Harry countered. “She should've just told me as soon as she found out.”

“I’m sure she had her reasons,” Jesse cast him a pleading look. “If you would just sit down and give her a chance to explain -”

Exasperated, Harry ran both of his hands through his hair, sending it from a well-kept to a chaotic state.

He sighed. “I'm not having this conversation with you…”

“Then I hope you have it with ________!”

The well-renowned physicist didn't even respond. Instead, he left the Speed Lab in hurried steps, probably hoping to distance himself from the awkward situation.

Of course, Jesse crushed those intentions when she chased him out the door, yelling out more claims than her father could handle.

You were left alone in the Speed Lab.

All but crystalline silence in the metal-lined room. It was only then, when you had a moment to process all that has been going on, that your lungs recalled their purpose and you were finally able to breathe.

“Oh god…” you said airily. What should I do?

You couldn't decide whether to talk to both of them or leave yourself out of the situation. Talking to both of them could lead to more drama, more raised voices - all of the things you wanted to leave behind.

But…

If you stayed out of the conversation, then it could really mean Harry leaving without resolving things.

Either way, you knew whatever choice you made would result in unfavorable outcomes towards you.

Might as well calm them down, you thought reasonably. That's the first good step out of any…

Awkwardly fixing your shirt, you slowly made your way out the door and to whatever destination they had travelled to.

*~*~*~*~*

You found them.

Harry and Jesse were arguing heatedly - almost violently - when you entered the Cortex.

Although they never cursed at each other, they definitely had some intellectually-geared insults that would have any genius cringing.

Their voices had escalated so loudly that Barry, Cait and Cisco didn't take long to travel to your destination.

Cisco, of course, was the first to respond. “What’s going on?”

You took a deep breath. “They're arguing.”

“About?”

You refused to answer.

Instead, you looked over to Barry for moral support. He was the only one who knew what was going on, and you were hoping he could help in some way.

“Oh god,” he muttered, eyes flickering between you and the arguing couple. “Is it about --?”

He didn't finish his sentence.

One look on your face and he could tell.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Barry placed his hands on his hips. “Okay, this needs to end now…”

He turned away and marched over to Harry and Jesse. Beside you, Cisco leaned over. “What’s he talking about?”

“Nothing,” you lied, voice surprisingly calm.

Though in truth, you were anything but. Another ball of anxiety had worked itself inside and twisted in your stomach.

You forgot you haven't told Cisco or Caitlin yet. And with the way things were progressing…

It won't be long before they find out, too… you thought, ashamed.

You could only imagine their judgmental looks when they realize you were pregnant with Harry’s child.

Shoving your hands in your pockets, you steeled yourself up and followed Barry inside. Cisco and Cait copied your example, though they remained more confused than anything else.

“Harry! Jesse!” Barry attempted to step in between the two. “You guys need to calm down.”

Harry shot the speedster a scathing look. “Stay out of this, Allen.”

He pressed his lips into a hard line. “You know I can't do that.”

“Yes, you can,” Harry snapped back. “It's simple. All you do is turn around and walk away. Hell, you can even run if you want to.”

Jesse looked astounded. “Wait, he knows too?”

“Of course he does!” Her father made a wild gesture towards you. “Who do you think ________ was talking to when I found out?!”

Harry clenched his fists tightly to his side.

“It’s why I'm finding it so hard to forgive her,” he hissed. “She didn't even have the decency to tell me first.”

All gazes passed to you.

You were the center of attention once more, and you hated it. Taking a step forward, Jesse furrowed her brows.

“________,” she started softly. “Is that true?”

Like many times before, no response came from you.

You couldn't help it.

When confronted with a situation like this, your mind tended to freeze up and draw itself in its own corner. You could feel another pang of regret manifest through your chest and eventually crawl down to your stomach.

Though it would be months before you could actually feel a kick of a foot or a turn in position, your felt your tummy jerk. As if your baby was uncomfortable with the dilemma too.

Subconsciously, you wrapped your arms around your stomach.

There was a moment of unfiltered silence.

Cisco rubbed his temples.

“Okay...” the engineer stated, fortunately drawing everyone’s attention away from you. “As much as I love talking in riddles, could someone please tell us what’s going on?”

Caitlin nodded. “The conversation’s a little hard to follow.”

Another awkward silence ensued.

Barry and Harry exchanged wary looks. He made a gesture to the multiverse physicist, as of to say ‘well, go ahead and say something,’; but, only to find out his efforts were in vain.

Harry had laced his fingers behind his head and, of course, made the dickish move to turn around and avoid Barry. Jesse cast her father an annoyed look.

He ignored that, too.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Barry switched his attention to you. He gave a helpless shrug, as if to say ‘what about you?’

Of course, you couldn't bring yourself to open your mouth and comment on the situation either. You lowered your gaze and kept to yourself once more.

Barry sighed, aggravated.

“Guys, this is ridiculous,” he commented, watching the two of you turn away even farther. “If you're not going to say anything, then I will…”

“Say what?” Caitlin pried.

Barry angled himself to face Cisco and Cait, both of whom looked very eager to know. A moment passed so he could gather his thoughts.

“...________’s pregnant” Barry said in a hushed tone. “With Harry’s child…”

A resounding gasp from Caitlin and Cisco filled the room. It did nothing to alleviate your anxiety, and you just cringed away yet again.

Cisco was the first to break out of his shock and respond.

“Wait, hold up,” the mechanical engineer placed both of his hands out in a halting motion. “So, you’re saying that  --”

“________ is pregnant,” Barry repeated once more. “She has been for three months.”

Caitlin’s eyes grew wide.

“Three months?!” She turned to you with a worried expression. “Why didn't you say anything to us?”

“You know, Snow,” Harry interjected, grimacing. “I've been wondering the same thing…”

Jesse smacked his arm. “Dad…!”

He hardly flinched.

Catching on to their behavior, Cisco narrowed his eyes. “Why’s he being a dick?” He gestured towards the very aggravated Harrison Wells. “Shouldn't he be, you know...happy?”

“Happy?” There was a resentful tone to Harry’s voice. “I really wish I could be, Ramon. I really wish. But…”

He cast you a hateful glare.

“I just found all this out a few days ago. ________ had the great idea of telling Allen about her unborn child first, instead of me - because, you know, it’s not like I was the father or anyone important in her life, but that’s neither here nor there.”

“Dad,” Jesse whined. “You can’t seriously be holding that over her.”

“And why not?!” he snapped. “You should be just as upset about this as I am! I mean, you of all people don’t like secrets being kept from you!”

“But at least this one was understandable!” she argued. “You’re not exactly reasonable when it comes to these things! I mean, when were you going to tell ________ that we were going to leave tomorrow and never come back?!”

He shook his head. “I didn’t say we were never coming back!”

“You didn’t have to!”

“Wait,” Barry jumped in, grabbing his arm. “You were going to leave ________ without talking about the baby?”

“Shut up, Allen.”

Caitlin stood, aghast. “How could you do that?”

“Very easily,” Harry answered, unwavering. “She clearly didn’t want me involved in her son or daughter’s life, so why should I be?”

“Okay, Harry,” Cisco pressed his lips into a hard line. “I know we don’t get along sometimes, but I really don’t agree with your decision.”

“Well, it’s not your decision to make!” He snapped back. “In fact, this is none of your guys’ decision to begin with!”

“Does it matter?!” Cisco raised his voice, causing you to jump. “We care about you guys a lot, no matter how much of an ass you can be. We’re like family! Remember what a family is like, Harry?”

“Of course I do, Ramon,” Harry shot him a scathing glare. “My family involves me and Jesse.”

“And ________!” he snapped. “If there’s one concrete thing I’ve learned these past few months, it’s to never turn your back on your family - because you never know how much time you really have left with them!”

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll be fine!” the hot-headed physicist snarled. “After all, she’s lasted three months without my help. She could definitely last longer.”

“Not for six more months,” Caitlin snapped. “And definitely not for eighteen years! She needs someone who can support her!”

“She can support herself.”

“How stubborn can you be?”

“As stubborn as you were about your friend Rickie’s death.”

“His name was RONNIE!!”

From beside you, Cisco clenched his fists. “Oh fuck, no,” he hissed bitterly. “You did not just go there…”

“What, Ramon?” Harry raised his voice, “Are you gonna pick a fight with me too?”

He gritted his teeth. “Don't make me.”

Harry laughed. “Last I recall, your powers were nowhere near your counterpart’s.”

“That doesn't mean I still can't throw a punch.”

“Alright!!” Barry stepped in between the arguing teammates, forcing one hand on each hand to separate them. “You guys just need to calm down!”

“Calm down?!” Harry and Cisco spat at the speedster.

“Yeah!” Jesse joined in. “We all need to take a breather here.”

“Jesse, don't even think about it,” Harry have his daughter a scolding glare. “We’re leaving tomorrow and that's final!”

Despite his resolute decision, Harry and the others kept arguing amongst themselves for a solution. While you appreciated everyone's effort in backing you up, their actions didn't make you feel better.

In fact, they made you feel worse.

Clearing your throat, you spoke up for the first time. “Guys…”

“We should stay here!” “I said, don't even think about it!” “How could be so inconsiderate?!” “I am not inconsiderate!”

You spoke up a little louder this time. “Hey, guys…”

“She hasn't been taking her prenatals!”

“I really don't think it's the time to talk about that.” “Of course it is!” “Why’s that?” “Without prenatals, the baby could develop neural-tube defects!”

“Hey, guys…” you repeated for the third time. Your voice was lost in the sea of angry voices.

“Could you, for once, just own up to your own mistakes?!” “Mistakes?!” “Yes, mistakes! “Your head is stuck so far up your ass, you can't even see how messed up your decision is!” “Stay out of this, Ramon!” “Make me, Harry!”

“SHUT UP!!” You screamed above them, to the top of your lungs. “JUST SHUT. UP…!!”

The room grew eerily quiet upon command.

There was a chilling shudder that ran up everyone's spines when they heard your voice. You were never the type to become emotionally invested as others and rarely had they ever seen you become so flustered.

It made them all stare.

You couldn't care less.

A throbbing ball of negative emotions stirred up inside of you. Your breathing increasingly ragged, your face pulsing with heat, you finally felt the most intense, most sincere sensation you've had about the topic since telling Harry of your motherhood.

“I really hate what all of you guys are doing,” you said with such anger that your voice shook. “You're all arguing your points about what you think should happen, what you think Harry should do and how this affects you, when no one’s even bothered to ask me what I want.”

Your body thrummed with pain that had you wincing internally; yet, you pushed it aside and ignored it.

Barry’s eyes softened at your words. “We were just trying to help…”

“Help?” You sounded incredulous. “Help how?! I mean, have you even stopped to consider what I really needed?!”

There was no response.

“I didn't think so,” you flared, continuing in in your tirade. “The closest any of you has gotten to asking for my concern was whether or not I was actually pregnant! That alone made me --”

At that moment, a stab of pain tore through your abdomen, forcing you to stop mid-sentence.

Barry’s forehead creased. “________?”

You ignored him. “That alone made me --”

Another stab, except that it was stronger. Now, everyone looked worried - including Harry. He uncrossed his arms and inattentively took a step forward.

“That alone made me --”

Another stab.

You collapsed on the ground.

“________!” They all yelled.

A blistering ache knotted your muscles, making it unbearable to move. Your mind was disoriented, the room on its side. You tighten your grip around your stomach as the pain grew in steadier, stronger thrums, worsening your condition.

Immediately, all of your friends rushed over to your side. Surprisingly, after all the shit you've been through for the past few days, Harry was the first by your side.

Hands wrapping tightly around your arms, he shook you anxiously.

“________!” He wrapped his fingers tightly around your arms, shaking you anxiously. “Are you alright?!”

No response.

“Dammit, answer me!” He demanded.

“Harry!” Caitlin swatted your lover’s hands away. “Stop it! That’s not helping!”

“Well, what the hell’s wrong with her?!”

An uneasy look spread across her face.

“I don't know,” she admitted, hesitantly biting her bottom lip. Taking her flashlight out, she oriented herself to face you.

She shone the light in your eyes, moving it steadily side-to-side to see if you would follow. You hardly moved.

“She’s unresponsive,” Caitlin announced, a tinge of stress in her voice. “No reaction to external stimuli whatsoever.”

Jesse’s breath hitched. “Then what do we do?!”

Before anyone could answer, Cisco interrupted.

“Oh my God, guys…!” The mechanical engineer tugged his hair in intense panic prior to shoving a finger towards you. His face was deathly pale. “I see blood! I see blood!!”

Harry and Caitlin reeled back, just enough to observe.

Sure enough, there was a light stream of blood trailing down your thigh and staining the floor.

Harry’s eyes widened. “Fuck…!”

He made a move to reach for you, but Caitlin blocked him again.

“Stop, don't touch her!” She scolded him. “She's having a miscarriage!!”

*~*~*~*~*

“Oh, hey, Harry!” the mechanical engineer squealed. “How, uh…how long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough,” he answered, before narrowing his eyes. 

Your heart beat violently against your chest. Oh, crap. He’s really pissed…

It was just like that other time when HR introduced himself to you a few weeks back. Harry may have only kissed you in front of his doppelganger at the time; but, in the following days, he needlessly hounded Cisco so he could talk to you through his vibes.

The guy barely got any sleep that week.

Before either of you could say a word and explain the situation to him, Harry shot Cisco a cold, unforgiving look. He squirmed uncomfortably in the seat.

“Ramon,” Harry repeated, clenching his jaw.

Cisco gulped. “Yeah?”

“Get out.”

“Okay.”

It didn’t take long before the mechanical engineer dashed out the door and disappeared within seconds; though, not before tossing you a last minute ‘sorry-for-ditching-you’ cringe.

You smiled to let him know that it was okay.

Harry seemed to have notice the gesture and took a step forward. You turned your attention back to him and waited warily. At this point and time, Harry’s mood could bounce off in  any direction - whether it be angry, sad, forgiving.

It really depended.

Fingers crossed, you were hoping it was the last option.

Harry pinned you under his scrutinizing stare. “________.”

“I swear to God,” you threw your hands up in surrender. “It wasn’t what it looked like.”

“________,” Harry repeated.

“Cisco was just trying to cheer me up ‘cause I had a bad day at work and my car broke down. Plus, I lost my keys to my apartment and -”

“________!” he snapped.

You shut your mouth immediately.

Bringing a broad hand up, he covered his face before rubbing his temples therapeutically. “…I know,” he muttered quietly. “I know he didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not mad.”

You stared at him.

He sighed.

“Okay, I’m mad,” he finally admitted, prior to closing his eyes. “But for an entirely different reason than you’d expect.”

His reassurance did nothing to alleviate your anxiety. Taking three long strides forward, Harry stopped just in front of you and cupped your face. Your breath hitched and you stilled so as to appease him.

“I’m sorry,” he finally breathed.

The words sounded so foreign on his lips, you had to take a moment to let the reality of it sink in. With a wide, doe-eyed look, you stared up at him in confusion.

“What?” you asked.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated once more. “I should’ve been there for you. But I wasn’t…so you had to search for comfort elsewhere…”

He brushed your hair back.

"Forgive me?" He asked.

You paused for a beat.

Never in a million years would you have thought Harry would ask for forgiveness.

At least, not over something like this.

Feeling a small smile curl the side of your lips, you reached up and placed your hands atop his.

"I can't forgive you if there's nothing to forgive," you said to him. Taking his hand, you turned it over so his palm was facing upward, and you pressed your lips against the center of it. "Don’t beat yourself up over it, okay?”

He was silent for a moment, measuring your sincerity, before he closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened them, his expression has considerably softened. He took a deep breath and swallowed.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “And I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

A daring idea formed in your mind. “You can make it up to me now,” you suggested.

He frowned. “How?”

Okay, here goes....deep breath, ________.

“You can start by not scaring the living crap out of Cisco,” you proposed. His expression darkened once more, as he stilled and stared at you blankly.

Oh shit.

“________.” he started testily. 

“He’s my best friend, Harry,” you added, trying to keep your voice confident and steady. “He’s practically like a brother. That’s not going to change, and you know it.”

You tightened your grip around his hands. 

“Please,” you whispered.

Harry continually stared, blinking a couple of times, his expression unreadable. You shift uncomfortably in your seat.

“....Fine,” he muttered finally. Clearly, he was troubled by the decision; but, knew that if he didn’t agree, he would greatly upset you. “I’ll try not to bite his head off...”

Your eyes shone bright. “Really?”

“Yes,” he nodded.

“Oh my god,” Feeling light and free, you threw your arms around Harry and pulled him into a tight hug. The unexpected gesture surprised him, causing him to stumble back a few steps before he steadied himself.

“Thank you so much, Harry...!” you gushed.

“Yeah, well,” The well-renowned physicist cleared his throat awkwardly. “That being said...”

You pulled back and observed him.

“There’s absolutely no touching between you two,” Harry pressed his lips together in a hard line. “I only come here every so often. The last thing I want to see is you getting too friendly with other guys. And vice versa.”

Pulling away from you, he jammed his fists into his front pockets.

“I barely tolerated my doppelganger around you,” he added gruffly. “Ramon isn’t any different. Understand?”

While it wasn’t the most ideal situation, you couldn’t help but agree to his stipulations. This was definitely a big step for Harry. It showed that he trusted you...

Grinning widely, you nodded. “I understand...”

“Good,” he said. “Then,...we’re good.”

With that one simple phrase, Harry took a quick step forward, dipped down and planted a soft kiss on your lips. Barely any time passed before he pulled away and cast you a gentle, smoldering stare.