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words made no sense through the glass of your lense, the words i had so carefully crafted, marrying concepts into marriges of feelings and emotions. I would we each word so carefully, ensuring the passion and meaning not only reached the surfacee but interwove to move souls. I had created so many places and worlds around myself, showing the complexities of my inner workings. Only for you to shove your glasses your perceptive infront of my eyes, blinding me completely to myself.
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“[For victims of coercive control] any decision- to return to school, take a job, seek legal assistance, start a diary, buy a new bra, even to cook something new- may be interpreted as a sign of disloyalty, independence, resistance, and worse, and so is permeated with a sense of dread of a corresponding constriction of freedom. Women’s fear that their stolen moments of autonomy will be detected, invaded, and evoke physical or other reprisals can be so intense that they pre-censor “dangerous thoughts” that might lead to independent action and harm.”
- Evan Stark, Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life, 2nd ed. Chapter 7, "The Theory of Coercive Control"
“Literal confinement is common enough in coercive control. […] As frequently, however, men deploying coercive control prevent escape and exposure through a spatially diffuse pattern of rules, stalking, cyber-stalking, surveillance cameras, beepers, cell phones, and other means that effectively erase the difference between confinement and freedom by extending surveillance and behavioral regulation to all those settings where victims might restore their identity or garner support, including work, school, church, service, family, and shopping sites.”
- Evan Stark, Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life, 2nd ed. Chapter 7, "The Theory of Coercive Control"
“In contrast to the forced access involved in capture crimes, the privileged access partners maintain to their victims is the most important explanation for why abuse is ongoing, even when partners are separated. Privileged access reflects five interrelated factors: the presumption of intimacy; the personal knowledge that intimacy affords; claims to exclusive possession or “property rights”; the material benefits associated with possession; and the failure of outsiders to effectively intervene. […] Property rights are also expressed more generically by a controller’s insistence that he set the terms for every encounter. If a woman tries to walk away from an argument or refuses to get out of bed in the middle of the night to review her faults or tries to separate, she is reminded that the lecture, interrogation, sex, her job, or the relationship “ends when I say it ends.” The ultimate expression of property rights is the right of disposal, illustrated by the statement that frequently precedes femicide, “If I can’t have you, no one will.””
- Evan Stark, Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life, 2nd ed. Chapter 7, "The Theory of Coercive Control"
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We will not survive this household.
a little triggering content under the cut but its actually just a story my dad told me bc he’s a messy ass bitch
staring at my dad’s text message about his “rough day yesterday” and it’s a fucking novel about the woman he was cheating on my “stepmom” with (stepmom was cheating on her husband with my dad for 15 years and also seeing another dude on the side at the SAME TIME—my stepmom is not my stepmom anymore they officially broke up a while after this) coming to his house after two years to tell him her bf that tried to kill her got out of jail and theyre seeing each other again and that she told her bf about my dad and thinks hes gonna start stalking my dad and that she thinks the bf is tracking her and then she locked her keys in her car in front of my dad’s house while his current gf (well they actually broke up and are still actng like a couple) is otw to his house and he doesn’t want them meeting (mind you my dad quite literally hasn’t heard from this woman in 2 years and is baffled she even showed up but he doesn’t want trouble) and then his “gf” gets there and he successfully hides the fact the woman showed up and then apparently my stepmom starts spam calling him and then shows up at his house too????? starts banging on the doors while they’re trying to sleep then goes into the backyard to try to get in through the back door???? then my dad calls her to cuss her out and she doesn’t answer he has no idea what provoked that. DISCLAIMER ALL OF THESE PPL ARE CRAZY AND I LITERALLY AM BAFFLED BY ALL THESE EVENTS. HOW DID ALL 3 OF YOUR EXES SHOW UP ON THE SAME NIGHT. IF MY MOM LIVED ANYWHERE NEAR HIM I WOULDVE SENT HER OVER JUST TO FUCK WITH HIM
