You can find the illustration that goes with this article here.

Adorable puppy or sensual god of rock’n’roll?  The gorgeous Heirs of Durin drummer and co-founder takes a moment out of his best-selling world tour for all our readers.

I've been talking to Kili Disarson - drummer and co-founder of the internationally acclaimed Heirs of Durin - for over forty minutes, and for the first time I've lost my train of thought.

It's hard not to focus completely on Kili.  He's relaxed and gregarious, welcoming me to his comfortable Erebor home with a selection of coffee and hot chocolate, ensuring my chair is comfortable (it's usually for "Legs" he says cheerfully, and it takes me a moment to realize he means Legolas, one of the elves in his band), and assuring me he's up for any questions I might ask.  

But just now, his friendly smile has fallen to parted lips, and his dark eyes are unfocused as the subject turns, with some delicate nudging on my part, to his famous relationship with Fíli Disarson – his brother.

His voice dips low and warm anytime I ask him about Fili, but now there's a low purr there that would send a warm shiver down anyone's spine.  

"Kissing," he says.  "I could just curl up with him and kiss for days.  I'd stolen a few kisses here and there, you know, before, but Fili - he's so focused and when all that attention is on me it's just - warmth and love and foreplay all at once.  Like I'm the only thing in the world he cares about."

I don't think I've ever heard anyone sound so thoroughly in love.

Playlass: You're best known for your music, of course, but also for your extravagant stage shows - and tendency toward being exhibitionists on stage.  Is that part of an act, or does that carry over into your personal lives as well?

Kili: An act?  No way.  Anything that happens on stage happens because - have you seen Fili on stage?!  He's gorgeous.  This band and its sound are so much a product of his mind and his soul, and when he plays his whole self goes into it.  It's the sexiest thing in the world, Fili playing, and there's no way I can just keep my hands to myself.  (he smiles, slow and pleased)  And I'm the only one allowed to touch, so I do.

Playlass: And in private?

Kili: I still can't keep my hands to myself.  I'm a big fan of cuddling, and so there's lots of that.  And hand holding and kisses - his nose, by the way, is made for kissing - and hands in pockets, that sort of thing.  If that's considered exhibitionism - I'm not sure that's a word, but let's go with it - then yeah, I guess we are.  But it's not to show off for other people.  It's just for the two of us.

If other people are in the room, well, they best learn to deal with it.  Trust me, Gimli complains enough for about twelve people, just because he and his think it’s fun to pretend they don’t like each other in front of other people!

Playlass: Well, since we're on the topic of shows, there was an interview once where Fili implied you prefer to go commando on stage.  Is that true?

Kili: He loves teasing you people!  No, no, I wear these pants on stage that are basically painted on, and have a zipper, so commando would lead to pain. You want some cloth between any special dwarf bits and that zipper. Besides, it's more fun to wear something that can be pulled down with, you know - teeth.

(Writer's Note: How Kili can go from adorable puppy to a sensual creature who makes my heart speed up is a mystery to me, but he is very good at it.)

Playlass: OKay, now I have to know - how do you get INTO those jeans?

Kili: Lots of wiggling and grunting and it's a lot less sexy and a lot more ridiculous than it sounds. Sometimes hopping in involved, and once Gmili got tired of watching me and sort of shoved me in.  That was a terrifying experience.

Playlass: Ah, well.  Now, speaking of fashion – teeth removal or no- I don't suppose there's any chance you might consider adopting some of Fili's fashion choices?  

Kili: Are you asking to see more of my gorgeous body?  Sorry, no, Fili's the one who went off and lived among Men too long and forgot how to be cold.  I'm a proper and very cold-natured Dwarf.  I like things like sleeves.  Of course, that doesn't mean I haven't stolen some of his clothes here and there.  (He leans over here and picks up a pile of cloth from the arm of the otherwise very neat sofa, a very soft, oversized, and well worn Gondor Fighting Ents hoodie that is as far from his usual metal look as possible)  This is the most comfortable thing in the world, and it is 100% stolen from Fili.

Playlass: Oh, your fans will love that!  Do you steal each other’s clothes often?

Kíli: Not as often as I’d like, maybe.  Fíli’s smaller but broader than me, so most of it doesn’t fit.  He’s gorgeous, but not always conveniently sized.  He’s stolen a couple of my jackets, though, since he never wears his own.  Valar forbid he cover his arms like a sensible person.

Playlass: That sounds like typical brother behavior.

Kili: Well, we are brothers soooooo we're good at annoying each other when the situation calls for it.  

Playlass: And that, of course, is the most fascinating part of your story, and one that you haven't told because most interviewers won't ask.  The two of you are a couple, but you're also brothers.  How does that work?

Kili: It's...I guess I should say it's complicated, and there's a lot of confusion where one begins and the other ends, but there's really not.  I can't tell you how it's different from other relationships because I've only been in love once, so it's just - who we are?  I mean, we know how to get on each other's nerves and we've seen each other at our worst, and Fili can be annoyingly overprotective big brother, but we've seen each other at our best, too, and we're comfortable enough with each other to really talk things out when we need to, and maybe I need someone overprotective sometimes.  I can't imagine Fili not being my brother and I can't imagine Fili not being my lover.  We're just-we work.  As a whole.  The two of us.

Playlass: How did it happen?

Kíli: Mmm…we were apart for a while when Fíli went to University.  And it just sort of developed naturally.  When he got home, we….ah…talked it out.  And decided to…give it a try.  And it worked, obviously.  Really well.  All of it.  We really just fit together.  

Playlass: The two of you have matching tattoos on your wrists.  Does that have to do with your being lovers?

Kili: Yeah.  Yeah.  Fili, like-well, both of us - it's not illegal, you know.  Loving each other.  But we can't get married even though we're both adults and- well.  So this is our vow to each other.  It's the old royal symbol, but it's cut in half.  He has half and I have half so it's only complete when we're together.  This is our vow.  

Playlass: Like the song?  "Inked in Your Skin, Burned in Mine"?

Kili: Exactly like that.  The tattoo on my back, too, that your photographer loved so much.  That’s music for the two of us as well.  A little less romantic, a lot more sexy.

Playlass: Okay, so here's a more general question, but one that a lot of people wanted us to ask you: what do you do for fun when you're not on stage?  With or without Fili?

Kili: My mother says I'm addicted to hobbies, and she's pretty much right.  There's loads of things I like to do for fun.  My favorite's probably cooking.  I took some cooking courses and I'm good at it.  Fili's not.  He's terrible.  he's great at chopping things an even size, though, so that's his job along with keeping me company.  But for some reason, he can't focus on cooking like he does other things and he burns stuff.  I cook all the family dinners and whatnot now, and I make excellent coffee.  I'm a licensed massuese as well, though mostly I just work on the band.  Fili, Ori, and the Boffins get way too intense sometimes and need to be relaxed.  Pillow fights, massage, and hot chocolate are all good for that.

Playlass: The Boffins?

Kili: That'd be Bofur and Bilbo Baggins.  We call them the old marrieds because they're so cute together, but actually Fili and I have been together longer.  By a few months or something.

Playlass: What about your parents?  And your relationship?

Kíli: They were…it was hard at first but they love us.  And they support us.  ….They could prooobably do with less nibbling on stage, though.  When Mom’s at a concert we try to behave ourselves.  You know.  Hands above the waist, that sort of thing.

Playlass: You don’t usually have a hands above the waist rule?!

Kíli: Fíli has a really excellent backside, if you haven’t noticed.  I can’t be expected to just IGNORE that, can I?

Playlass: Well of course not.

Kíli: No one else does, either, if you read what they say about him on the internet!  Most of which is accurate, by the way.  Brilliant, talented, visionary, great ass.  They just don’t know that he’s also overprotective, loving, forgets to sleep, and has worked to make us all a family.  They don’t know there’s a lot more to Fíli than just the genius.  

Playlass: Do you ever have any regrets?  About being in such an unconventional relationship?

Kíli: …Never.  Sometimes people piss me off – especially people who try to act like Fíli being a few years older than me makes a difference, like I wasn’t an adult before any of this happened, like Fíli would have do anything other than be overprotective of me – but that’s their problem, not mine.  I have the one person in the universe meant for me.  You don’t just go around regretting that.

LIGHTNING ROUND

As always, we have five questions sent in by readers, and the only answers he can give are yes or no and we, tragically, can’t ask for any more details.

1. Personal nude photos? Kili: Yes!

2. Adventurous in bed? Kili: 100% and enthusiastic yes

3. Adventurous… other places? Kili: Ohhh yes

4. SEX TAPE? Kili: ah...ah........yes

the hobbit doodle and requests tumblr by PabutteGO