#dukebee

Well first of all I AM a mad scientist already, I'm just underfunded and thus need to devote all my scheming to obtaining the materials I need to conduct my evil experiments.

However if I were to put acid back into the bread, it would be very inefficient to add it to the bread supply because at that point, the bread has become delocalized and is under constant supervision, so adding the acid then would be needlessly difficult and inefficient.

So to add acid to the bread, I would need to do it more upstream in the bread supply pipeline. The easiest point in theory would be adding acid directly to the flour as flour is already often fortified with additives, thus sneaking acid in at this point sounds like the simplest way to do it.

However mad science isn't about the simplest way, it's about the way with the greatest potential FOR SCIENCE! And as my own area of expertise is genetics, clearly the ideal step to introduce the acid at is at the very top of the bread supply pipeline: the wheat itself.

Now, the "acid" in the bread is a combination of ergot alkaloids that are concentrated in the sclerotium of the ergot fungus which unfortunately, is visible to the human eye and would certainly get the infected wheat flagged and destroyed before it was ever turned into flour and disbursed.

Luckily, I am a master at genetic manipulation and could easily use plasmids to transform the ergot fungus with genes coding for the bran of wheat, giving it a protective coating that would allow me to depigment the sclerotium so that the inside of the bran kernel is not exposed as fungus during the flour grinding process. This would allow the sclerotium to be perfectly disguised as it infects wheat plants.

Thank you, my friend!!!!! I’d love to see a shitmygenderqueerwifesays account!!! Maybe you can just ask their wife to keep track of their witticisms so you can post them later? Or take submissions? In either case, I think it’s a great idea!!

Because it's pretty! :)

Anyways you should burn Barium (Ba)

No, third base is leaving a changeling in her care

Maya: “You know, watching Nick have a kid, and him meeting changelings and changed children and all, the more I think about how conceptually it’s just really fucked up to steal human babies from people? They just have short or miserable lives here in the Twilight Realm and it isn’t fair to them. And it isn’t fair to the changelings swapped to them either, who grow up without knowing and then tend to find out in the absolute worst ways. I’ve decided it’s a practice that needs to end, and I’m decreeing terrible punishments on any of the Court who steal human babies, but some think they can get away with it and escape the Queen’s notice.”

Franziska: “...”

Maya: “So long story short, some people are dead and I swapped the babies back but now I have this fae baby whose parents are dead and honestly even if you’re fae, growing up in the Court is terrible, so like... here’s a changeling for you to raise. It will be better off with you.”

You’re. Going to make me have to acknowledge the next gen of hp canon. I. It will be worth it for this fic. But. :P

Literally nothing from JK’s next gen is canon except Draco having to come to grips with his son being friends with a Weasley-Potter and a Granger-Weasley. That’s it. I fought the author and I won so it’s mine now, I have this wealth of HP trivia driven deep into my head in place of things that could be relevant for daily adult life, and I’ve manifested all of that knowledge into bricks that I’m throwing through the author’s window, and as the new author of Harry Potter what I can tell you is that Harry and Ginny got into a really stupid one-upping game of picking out the worst name for their second child and it turned into a game of chicken that neither of them could back down from and while Harry tries to retroactively justify it with “bravest men I knew” he’s bullshitting through his teeth because that’s still better than telling his second son that “your mother and I are both very stubborn and sometimes egg each other on to bad choices.”