#dtotd

that is the dumb theme of the day

Actually no.

I am in peace.

I no longer cry at the frustration of not being able to decide what is true and what is a lie.

I no longer have to wince at their faces or feel an anvil drop in my stomach at the sound of their names.

I no longer have to think to myself about what you imagine with them.

I no longer question why you don’t treat me better.

I no longer invest time, money, or myself into you.

I’ve flourished.

I am flourishing.

I will become a flower.

A flower after the storm you left behind during your destruction of what once was.

A small sprout that radiates change and motivation to become stronger and bigger than what I am now.

A bush that roots everywhere and flourishes in a beautiful manner.

Wow, she did that.

Wow, she’s doing well for herself.

Wow, he only held her back.

I buy what I want now because it makes me happy. He never complimented me on my looks anymore and when he did it never sounded genuine.

He hated when I wore different revealing outfits not around him and out.

He hated that he wasn't around to ward off eyes directed at me. It was his possession flaw that would come out and he would redirect onto me.

He hated when I didn't dress up as much as I used to before and said it shouldn't be that way.

He still thought it was okay to look bummy but I had to put in the effort to look better. He claimed we could dress up nice to go to Wendy's drive thru which I thought was absurd.

He hated when I got my septum because he didn't approve of them.

Yet, he could fantasize about other girls with septum piercings. the hypocrisy.

He hated when I drank because I finally was honest with him.

He held back so much to be at peace with our relationship. Drunk me was a very open and honest person towards him. He could not take me calling him out.

He told me not to dye my hair because his mom would think I'm crazy and he cared a lot about what his  mom thought about me.

He was a momma's boy and worshipped her. I respect mother and son relationships but it was too much what they had going on. I'll dye my hair because it's something I've been wanting to do and he will not hold me back anymore.

He hated when I always paid for things because I knew he was broke all the time.

im just a kid i i i i

heart baby bang it up inside

i'm not wearing my usual lipstick