#dropdeaddream

dropdeaddream, "Not Easily Conquered"

The God’s honest truth is that I ain’t ever gonna love again. She’s your true north. I know what that means, because you’re mine.

having “not easily conquered” emotions over the oranges i bought at the store yesterday, while the first big snowstorm of the year brews outside my window

by dropdeaddream and WhatAreFears

M, 117k, Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers/Peggy Carter, Multi-fic Series, Complete

Summary: In 1945, Steve Rogers jumps from a nosediving plane and swims through miles of Arctic Ocean to a frozen shore. In 1947, Steve Rogers marries Peggy Carter. In 1966, the New York Times finds the lost letters of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.

My thoughts: The complicated story of what could have happened if Steve Rogers avoided being trapped within the ice while bringing the Valkyrie down and made it home, only for his supposed-to-be-a happy ending with Peggy to be unexpectedly strained by the eventual discovery of letters Bucky wrote to him before he fell from the train, confessing to loving his best friend back in a time where loving another man was seen as a sin beyond forgiveness. Steve grapples with this posthumous confession, his own thoughts and feelings for his lost best friend, and his marriage to Peggy all suddenly seemingly conflicting with each other; if he loves his wife, a woman, how could he love his best friend, a man? It’s a tale of a hero slowly coming to terms with his bisexuality during an era of hatred and bigotry, while he is also on the hunt for the mysterious KGB assassin “the Winter Soldier” in the midst of the Cold War. I don’t want to spoil too much of the plot, but I must confess, the way Peggy is written in this is absolutely wonderful; plenty of fics have her portrayed as simply the roadblock on the way to the eventual Steve/Bucky relationship, but in this series she is given so much care and depth. Yes, she is angry at Steve and Bucky for being in love with each other and complicating her marriage. Those letters and Steve’s inability to properly articulate his feelings for Bucky leave her feeling betrayed, thinking perhaps she was just the woman Steve settled for rather than choosing for himself. It’s so nuanced, and so painful, and so, so real. I’m so glad her marriage with Steve isn’t simply swept under a rug in favor of Steve/Bucky, and I hope you guys love it too.

Historical Character(s), Steve Rogers: the Bisexual America Deserves, Cold War, September 11 Attacks, World War II, Period Typical Homophobia