"Derek! We don't need any more protein powder." Spencer gave his boyfriend a confused look as he reached for two more cans of whey.

"Oh but we need 15 different kinds of vinegar?" Derek shot back, swatting Spencer's hands away as he tried to take the protein powder back out of the shopping cart.

"It's for an experiment!" Spencer exclaimed, "You would know if you just let me explain!"

"Pretty boy, you know I usually love to listen, but do you remember why I didn't want to know?" Derek said with a smirk as he pushed the shopping cart down the next aisle.

"Plausible deniability," Spencer mumbled, "But if–"

"No, no, no, do you remember your last science experiment that blew up the microwave? Or the one before that, when I ended up with burn marks on my ceiling? Or- Or the one before that, that turned my dining room table neon pink?" Derek asked, pausing to throw a box of Lucky Charms into the cart, "And besides, the whey is for science too."

"Wait, that's not on the list." Spencer said.

"Yeah," Derek shrugged, heading further down the aisle, "But they're your favorite and we're almost out."

Spencer smiled softly to himself and followed Derek to the end of the aisle before realizing, "Wait! What science experiment are you doing?"

"The science of how I look this good, baby." Derek smiled, flexing a bicep as Spencer looked at him, an unamused expression on his face.

Spencer's eyes roamed over his boyfriend's chiseled chest and stomach as he crossed his arms and mumbled, "You're not that strong."

"Oh really?" Derek asked amused, with an eyebrow raised at his boyfriend.

He stopped, pulled Spencer in close by his arm and whispered, "That's not what you were saying last night."

Spencer could feel the heat in his cheeks spread all the way down his neck. He was frozen in place, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as Derek continued on to the produce section.

"Come on pretty boy, I need some salad ingredients." Derek said, snapping Spencer out of his trance. He jogged to catch up to his boyfriend and found him eyeing the cucumbers.

"Spence, which one do you think is better?" Derek turned to face him, holding one cucumber in each hand.

"Well, typically," Spencer started as Derek turned back to the pile on the shelf, " a cucumber is considered ripe when it's medium to dark green and firm to the touch. Did you know that–"

"Got it!" Derek interrupted turning around again, this time with two different cucumbers in his hands, one barely longer than his fist and another almost the size of his forearm, and a wide smirk on his face.

Spencer could swear that he was tomato red from head to toe by now as he eyed his boyfriend who had both bushy eyebrows raised at him.

"Derek," Spencer hissed, "put those down."

"What? Why?" Derek laughed as Spencer yanked the cucumbers out of his hands.

"Because! Cucumbers are for eating! Not for sexual innuendos." He whispered the last part as Derek held up his hand again, this time with an even bigger cucumber than before.

"Der! If you keep touching all the cucumbers with your filthy hands, we're gonna end up having to buy them all." Spencer exclaimed, reaching for the cucumber.

"My hands are clean Spence!" Derek laughed as he held the cucumber just out of the genius's reach and watched as Spencer struggled to grab it from him.

"No they aren't! Do you have any idea how many germs are on your hands right now? Even if you've washed them recently? Did you know that there are about 15 hundred bacteria on just one square centimeter of your hand? That's over 1.1 million bacteria on each hand and that's not even cons–" Spencer was interrupted by Derek's soft lips pressing against his own.

Derek took the cucumbers from Spencer's hands and dropped them in the cart as his boyfriend melted into the kiss. Once Spencer's hands were free, he brought them up to cup his lover's face as Derek wrapped his arms around Spencer in a strong grip, pulling him even closer. They broke apart only after the need for oxygen was too overwhelming, and Derek's eyes opened to see Spencer beaming at him.

"It's safer to kiss, right?" Derek smiled softly.

The first time he said it out loud, it wasn't even to her. Prentiss and JJ had been teasing him in the bullpen on one of their days off.

"Oooooohhhh look at his face," Emily had said to JJ while eying Derek, "He can't stop smiling!"

"Careful Morgan, your face might freeze like that." JJ teased from her spot next to Emily.

"I'm pretty sure it already has!" Emily laughed as she brought her hand up to protect herself from the file that Derek had thrown her way.

"Hey, I can't help it if I love her." Derek had shrugged, still smiling from ear to ear.

"You what?" Derek froze hearing Penelope's voice from behind him. All three agents froze, their smiles slowly dropping.

"Babygirl! I–" Derek started, but she was gone by the time he turned around.

***

The second time it happens, they were on a case. It wasn't even on purpose. It was a slip of the tongue, a habit, like he'd been saying it all his life. The team was gathered around a small table in the local precinct, listening as Garcia debriefed them on what she found on their latest unsub.

"Thanks Garcia," Hotch said as he went to update the local police.

"Stay safe crimefighters! I'll hit you back when I have more details." Garcia said while the others started gathering files and head back into the field.

"Alright, thanks babygirl. I love you." Derek said and everyone froze. It wasn't his usual flirty "love ya mamma" sign off. He hadn't said anything since the day in the bullpen. Every time Derek tried to bring it up, Penelope would always change the topic or find a way out of the conversation altogether.

There was a pregnant pause before Prentiss finally spoke up, "Garcia, are you still there?"

"Yep! Bye!" Penelope said shortly. They heard a click and the line went dead.

***

The third time was after dinner, Derek had made his famous sweet potato pie and Penelope had insisted on cleaning up.

"Baby, you don't have to do that," Derek smiled, coming up behind where she was standing at the sink, "I'll do it in the morning."

"I know, but you made such a wonderful meal and the least I can do is clean it up a bit." She frowned slightly as reached from behind her and took the towel and plate and set them on the counter.

He spun her around so he could look into her eyes, "It's ok, really. Having you here is all I need. I love you."

He could feel her stiffen in his arms. This time it wasn't some offhanded comment to a couple of friends or some passing remark at the end of a phone call. This time, Derek's voice was filled with unspoken promises and a future with a white picket fence and kisses goodnight and growing old together in rocking chairs on a porch overlooking the ocean. This time he meant every syllable of those three small words and Penelope was terrified. Terrified because she could feel all the emotion in his eyes; terrified because she could sense him gazing into her soul and tearing all her walls down; and most of all terrified because she wanted to let him.

Derek could see her mind going into overdrive. He could see the worry in her eyes and he could feel her pulling away even if there was less than an inch between them.

"Babygirl, talk to me" Derek said, moving an out of place strand of hair out of her eyes, "Why are you scared of loving?"

She could feel her heartbeat slowing just from listening to his voice, calm and soothing, "I just–"

He could feel her start to shake in his arms so he poured her a glass of water and slowly moved them to the couch.

"Please don't push me away." Derek said lowly, turning his body to face her.

"It's just that in the past, everyone I've ever loved ends up leaving... My parents– Kevin– God, even Shane. And I can't let that happen to you, Derek. I won't. Because I don't know what I would do without– do without you, " She hiccuped, "And I–"

Tears were running freely down her face and the sight broke Derek's heart. He took both her hands into one of his and wiped her cheek with the other, "Penelope, look at me please."

His hand went to her chin to gently lift her head until her eyes met his gaze, "I'm right here baby. I'm not going anywhere. Do you feel this?"

He brought one of her hands up to his chest, over his heart. She could feel his heartbeat, strong, and steady, and unwavering beneath the soft fabric of his shirt.

"This is me not going anywhere. This is me promising to be right here by your side for the rest of your life. This is me not running from what makes me happy anymore. This is me loving you with every beat of my heart." Derek said, looking at her as her eyes were locked onto where her hand was still placed on his chest. Her breathing was quiet and stable now but her watery eyes still shined brightly in the dim light.

After a long moment she finally raised her eyes to meet his with a small smile, "I love you, Derek Morgan."

"Can I stay here tonight?" Spencer asked as Derek stood at 3:24 am, holding his front door open with a confused look on his face.

This in itself would not be out of the ordinary. Spencer often showed up at his house at odd hours of the night, sometimes to discuss potential breaks in a case, or to show Morgan a documentary he discovered that he thought Derek would like, and many times to raid the older agent's fridge as he steadfastly refused to buy food of his own. Derek never said anything; he never minded caring for the genius. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he secretly enjoyed being the one to make Spencer’s face light up and could feel an anger rise in him what it was caused by anyone else.

What drew Derek's attention was the state the young genius was in. Spencer was clad in only the dress shirt, khakis, and converse he had worn to work that day, and soaked down to the bone due to the thunderstorm raging outside. He had no bag or coat or umbrella and Derek was sure that his phone must have incurred some form of water damage. Spencer's hair was strewn about from the howling wind, but from what Derek could see through the strands of hair covering Spencer's face, his eyes were red and his cheeks were puffy.

"Reid," Derek said, desperately wanting to put his fist in the face of whoever caused it but deciding instead to pull the genius into a bone crushing hug, “What happened? Did you walk here?”

Derek didn't gave Spencer time to answer as he pulled away and nudged him into his apartment. He closed the door softly behind him as he watched Spencer carefully. The doctor was in the middle of his living room, creating a puddle on the hardwood floor where he stood, with his shoulders hunched and hair still falling in his face, looking like a lost puppy. This boy was going to be the death of him.

"Are you alright?" Derek said, walking over to him slowly and tucking the hair covering his face behind his ears.

“I will be,” Spencer whispered and gave Derek a small smile. After a moment of silence, he asked, "Uh, can I have a towel?"

"Oh! yeah," Derek said, taking a step back, "C'mon pretty boy, let's get you cleaned up."

Spencer followed Derek down the hallway, slipping into the bathroom as Derek continued down the hall to find some dry clothes for the both of them. Derek quickly changed out of his damp shirt and went to rummage through his closet to find clothes that might fit the smaller man. He ended up with a t-shirt about two sizes too small on him, a pair of sweatpants that he found in the bottom of his drawer, and a pair of fluffy pink socks, a birthday gift that his sister had gotten him as a joke.

"Hey Spence," Derek knocked on the closed door to his bathroom, "I've got some dry clothes for you out here if..."

He trailed off as Spencer opened the door wearing only his boxer briefs and signature mismatched socks. Derek had to actively avoid dragging his eyes up and down his lithe frame and slightly toned stomach as Spencer took the clothes from his hands and promptly shut the door in his face. Derek stood there for a minute, slightly stunned by Spencer's quick change in demeanor. He shook it off and wandered into the kitchen to make something that might calm Spencer down.

Spencer padded into the room just as Derek finished pouring hot chocolate into two mugs. Derek smiled slightly seeing the genius in his clothes which were still incredibly baggy on the kid. He slowly sat in one of the stools at the island as Derek slid a mug across the counter. The room was quiet as they drank in silence with Spencer occasionally looking over at the man leaning on the counter across from him, looking backdown into his mug every time Derek made eye contact.

Derek finished his coco first, rinsing his cup and leaving it in the sink before taking the seat next to Spencer on the other side of the island.

"Pretty boy, please," Derek said, "Talk to me."

“Aaron broke up with me." Spencer whispered after a long moment, his hands fiddling with the handle of his mug.

"You were dating someone? Wait—" Derek paused to process what was just said. "You... were dating... Hotch?" He asked, feeling the jealousy radiate through him as he tried his hardest not to put any judgement in his voice.

"What?" Spencer asked, furrowing his eyebrows, "No. Aaron Faller."

Derek stayed quiet, urging him to go on.

"I met him in college. We, uh, we started dating about three years ago... before I got into the bureau. After we graduated, he decided to follow me here. I thought-" he paused to collect his thoughts, "I thought we were gonna be together forever."

Spencer's voice cracked at the end and Derek could tell that the kid was near tears. The doctor refused to make eye contact, choosing instead to stare furiously into his hot chocolate. Derek could see as Spencer processed the emotions going through his head, going from sad to confused to angry before settling back on sad again and he had to fight the urge to pull the smaller man into another hug.

“I wanted him to love me as much as I loved him... I thought he didn’t,” Spencer whispered, “I told him that, too”

Spencer got up suddenly, startling Derek with his sudden movement as he went to put his mug in the sink.

“And you know what’s funny?” He said with a laugh as he turned the faucet on with so much force that Derek thought it might snap off, “He said that I was wrong. He said I had it backwards, that he loved me more than I did him, and do you know what the worst part is? I think he was right.”

“Spence,” Derek said, trying to get his attention as Spencer was still aggressively washing the mug. He turned off the water with just as much force and dropped the mug in the sink with a loud thud.

Derek knew that he had to choose his words carefully as Spencer looked like the next words he said might break him entirely, “Take a breath. Take your time.”

Spencer looked down as he fiddled with his hands and mumbled, “He said... he said it’s because of you”

He still refused to make eye contact and there was a long moment of silence before he continued, “He said that ever since I got in to the BAU, ever since I met you, all I would talk about is you and that every time we had a conversation, no matter where it started, it always ended up leading to you. Things on the street or stores that we would pass would always somehow remind me of you.‘Oh that restaurant? Derek mentioned that place has good Mexican food’ or ‘oh that park? Derek plays basketball there on the weekends’ and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for not noticing it and I hate that I was too wrapped up in you to realize that I was hurting someone that I truly care about and I hate that I don’t care that Aaron broke up with me because he is a genuinely good person who absolutely does not deserve any of the crap that I’ve unwittingly put him through. But what I hate most is that I don’t care enough to end things with him properly. God, I didn’t cry, I didn’t ask him to stay. When he confronted me, all I said was ‘I’m sorry’ and left. What kind of asshole would—”

Spencer halted his ranting when he heard the man across from him let out what sounded like a giggle. Their eyes finally met and Derek couldn’t help the smile that made its way onto his face. However it was quickly replaced with shock and it almost gave Derek whiplash with how instantly Spencer went from shy to seething.

“I fucking knew it. I knew you’d be like this,” Spencer hissed, moving around the island to point a skinny finger in Derek’s face, “You with your gigantic ego. You love this don’t you, ruining my life. Derek Morgan finally gets poor little Spencer Reid under his thumb. You just think—”

“Spence!” Derek was laughing again because no matter how hard he tried, the over dramatic doctor was about as terrifying as a baby kitten. He caught Spencer’s hands in his own as the genius feebly tried to hit him in the chest, “Spence, I’m smiling cause—”

“Cause you—” Spencer started as he tried to wrestle his hand out of the stronger man’s grip.

“Because I love you too, Spence” Derek interrupted.

“You—” Spencer stopped struggling, “You what?”

“I love you pretty boy. I have for a long time.” Derek smiled as he watched Spencer process his words.

“But I didn’t...” Spencer trailed off.

“You don’t have to. I know.” Derek smiled softly, “Call me selfish. Call me whatever you like but I’m glad that Aaron broke up with you cause now I can have you all to myself. And I’d really like to kiss you now if you’ll let me.”

Spencer didn’t bother to answer as he crashed his lips onto Derek’s.