#dressingzico

I told him that I was the person that Zico had “supposedly” kidnapped, and that it wasn’t true, and I didn’t want to press charges. I filled out a paper and they went to release him. Zico looked as tired as I felt. I only waited around because I needed things from him. As soon as he came out, he enveloped me in a big hug. I waited until we were outside before I talked to him. He looked at me in astonishment. “How?” he asked. “How did you get here? What happened?” “They were going to make me stay there, but I talked Seung-hyun into letting me go,” I said. “You are amazing!” he said. He started to hug me again, but I held up my hand and stopped him. “What? What is it? Are you okay?” I shook my head. “No. I’m far from okay. I need the key to the storage building that you put my stuff in,” I said. He looked confused. “But…Why?” “I need to get my purse. It has my ID and my bank card in it. I would also like to have my phone back please.” “What did they do to you? Did they threaten you? Lie to you?” he asked. I shook my head again. “No. They didn’t do anything to me,” I said. “Well… they took me against my will, and I’ve decided I’m sick of it. I’m sick of being controlled, and shoved around like a gamblers token from one person to another. All of you treat me like an object instead of a person. I’m not going to do it anymore. So, please, I want my phone and the key. Please don’t fight me, Zico.” He stood there looking at me as if he had never seen me before. “You aren’t leaving Korea are you?” he asked. “No. I just need some time to myself,” I said. I held out my hand. I could tell that I had blindsided him. He dug around in the bag that they had put his stuff in when they arrested him. He gave me a key and my phone. He told me the name of the storage company and the number of the unit. It was also written on the key. “Wait. Wait!” he said. “Your purse is with your clothes at the hotel.” “Damn! Okay, I can pick it up when I drop you off,” I said. I opened the door of the taxi for him. He wouldn’t get in, and held his hand out indicating that I should get in first so I did. When he was in the car, I told the taxi to take us to the hotel. “Where are you going to go?” he asked. “You don’t get to know that,” I said. He grabbed my hand. “Please come back to the apartment. I promise that you can come and go as you please. I’ll give you a car and a driver and I won’t ask questions.” “That’s just it, Zico. Your driver will tell you everywhere that I go. The body guards will tell you. I’ll have no privacy,” I said. “I’m not saying this is forever. I just need a few days. A week at most.” “Oh thank God!” he whispered under his breath. “I’m sorry that we treated you that way. I just wanted to take care of you. I love you.” “I know that. I have no doubt that they were doing the same thing, but you are all driving me crazy,” I said. “I don’t like the thought of you out here by yourself with no protection,” he said. “I’ll be fine,” I said. “You need to email me the location and time of the shoot tomorrow.” A small smile played on his lips. “So you’re still going to work tomorrow?” “I figure I’d better if I actually want to still consider myself as working for you,” I said. When we got to his hotel, he said, “Wait here and I’ll get your purse.” While he was gone, I made sure that the gps on my phone was disabled. I didn’t want any of them following me around. A few minutes later he came out with the purse and he also handed the taxi driver a stack of bills. “You didn’t have to do that, Zico,” I said. “I could pay him.” “That’s okay,” he said. “Where did you get money?” I looked in my purse to make sure that everything was in it. “Seung-hyun lent me money.” “Oh, okay. I would have thought Ji-Yong would have given it to you,” he said. “He didn’t want me to go. I think he’s a little angry,” I said. “Please tell me where you are going to be,” he said. “I can’t, Zico, but I’ll be at work tomorrow. Would you like a ride to the apartment?” I asked. He shook his head. “I’m going in here and have a long talk with Alicia.” “Oh. Good luck,” I said. “Thank you for not giving me any trouble. I appreciate it. I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Goodnight,” he said. He leaned in and kissed me. I told the driver to go ahead. I missed him as soon as we drove away. He stood on the sidewalk and watched the car until we went around the corner.

The suite I had reserved was pricey, but I felt like pampering myself. I took a quick shower and practically dove under the Egyptian cotton sheets. They were so soft that I made bed angels with my arms and legs. It was hard to sleep. I felt guilty. I knew it didn’t make sense, but I felt like I was letting all of them down. They were all trying to ensure my safety, but they were going about it the wrong way. I wasn’t even mad at them. Sometimes a girl just needs to take a breath. I already knew what I was going to do. I was going to have to tell Ji-Yong that I cared for him, but that my heart belongs to Zico. Of course I was going to be with Zico. He owned me body and soul. When I thought of him, a feeling flowed through me like warm honey until the tips of my fingers tingled. His presence made me happy. Even when we were fighting. When I thought about seeing him in the morning, I felt like a schoolgirl with a crush that was giddy just to get to stare at him in the hallway before school. It was ridiculous, but there you have it. It was around 2 AM when I finally drifted off.

7 AM comes really early when you toss and turn all night. Makeup can only go so far to cover the evidence of a late night. I had to wear the same outfit that I had worn yesterday, so I was going to have to do a little shopping before I met Zico at 9. The sheets may have been divine at this hotel, but the continental breakfast was lacking. I chose fruit and a biscuit with butter and jam. When I turned to find a seat, a man waved me over from the corner. It was a familiar face. He sat there sipping on a cup of coffee, and looking like he had slept very well. “Hello, Mr. Lewinsky,” I said. “How did you find me?” He stood. “Please, have a seat,” he said. I sat my things on the table and took the seat across from him. He sat down and said, “I followed you as soon as you left last night. I thought you would have counted on that.” “I feel stupid. I should have counted on that. I guess I was a little scatterbrained last night,” I said. “Aren’t you glad that you had a guardian angel looking out for you then?” he asked. His smile was friendly and disarming. I split the biscuit down the middle and slathered it in butter. “I should be angry, but I’m just going to have to get used to the fact that one or another of the boys is always going to be looking out for me. I suppose I should count myself lucky.” “You are. Only celebrities and dignitaries get that kind of treatment. What is it that you do again?” he asked and took another sip of his coffee. I was surprised he could drink it. It was steaming hot. “I dress Zico,” I said. “Huh?” he asked in confusion. “I’m a costumer for Zico. I choose his wardrobe for various public things. Shows, concerts, photo-shoots. Things like that. Basically anytime he’s going to be on display. In fact, I’m heading to work today. Are you planning on following me there?” He nodded. “I am. Since you already know I’m going to be there, why don’t you just ride with me?” “Well, I hired a driver,” I said. “I’m sure he would appreciate the day off,” he said. Popping the last of the biscuit in my mouth, I chewed, swallowed, and said, “Alright. It would be silly for you to follow me around.” “It certainly would. And I would appreciate the company,” he said. “I need to make a stop on the way,” I said. He stood. “My chariot is at your beck and call, m’lady.” I took a bite out of my plum. “Thank you Mr. Lewinsky. I appreciate the help.” “Please, call me Max.”

He drove very well for someone who didn’t spend much time in Korea. We went to one of the shops that I had gone to with Zico. They remembered me, and I bought a dress, boots, and socks, which I charged to Zico’s account. The girl was very sweet and even let me change clothes in the dressing room. I gave Max the address of the magazine shoot, and we made it there a little early. Even so, Zico was already there. The woman at the front desk directed us through a door and down a hallway that led to a darkened room. It was set up for a simple shoot with a purple Victorian sofa on a platform with a gray wall background. I figured it was for the brand shoot, and it turned out that I was correct. It was for a new men’s cologne. I asked one of the men where I could find Zico, and he pointed me to another door. I heard him say, “Good luck,” under his breath. Max followed me, and if I was right, he didn’t know what he was about to get himself into. I was glad he brought that gun. I knocked and heard Zico yell, “Come in!” He sounded like he was in one of his grouchy moods. When I opened the door, he was already dressed in his suit for the brand shoot, and a nervous looking girl was working with his hair. It wasn’t Mya so I figured that the magazine insisted on using theirs. Zico looked at me in the mirror and smiled a little before looking past me at Max. Ignoring the poor girl, he stood up and spun toward us. “Who is this?” he asked. He wasn’t just in a grouchy mood. He was in his Don’t fuck with me! mood.       “Zico, this is Max. Max…Zico,” I said. Max held out his hand for a handshake and Zico ignored it. “Elizabeth, that doesn’t tell me anything. Who in the HELL IS MAX?” Max put his hand down. “He is the bodyguard that Seung-hyun sent to follow me last night. Don’t be rude,” I said. “Why are you in such a great mood?” He glared at Max, but he accepted my explanation and sat back down. “I didn’t get any sleep,” he said. “I fought with Alicia all night. I told her she could stay at the hotel with the rest of the staff if she wanted to, but that she was fired and I wasn’t paying for her room. I took my things and moved into the apartment.” “Is it mean of me to be really happy about that?” I asked. “Yes. And I am too. I’m so glad that it’s over, and I never have to see that bitch again,” he said. Max sat in a chair against the back wall. “Now, it’s your turn,” said Zico. My stomach fell a little. “I know,” I said. “Mine is different though. It’s harder.” “Why?” asked Zico. “Because he was good to me. He took really good care of me, and it’s not right that he’s going to get hurt,” I said. He looked at me in the mirror while the girl dabbed his face with foundation. “Elizabeth. We have discussed this. He wasn’t that good to you.” I didn’t know what to say to that. Zico only saw the surface things. He didn’t see the deeper things that we had shared. They still weren’t as bone deep as the things that Zico and I had shared. Max was looking from me to Zico. It was more like he was studying us. He was taking it all in. I was starting to notice that Max was in a very special group of people that I thought of as watchers. They noticed everything, and they could put things together very quickly. “I’ll take care of it,” I said. “My way.” “What does that mean?” asked Zico. “It means that I’m going to try to let him down gently,” I said. Zico turned in his seat. “That sounds like you are going to fuck him one last time.” “Zico! Stop being so crude,” I said. “You are starting to sound like Seung-hyun,” he said. I had thought the same thing. “Well, he’s right. And no. That’s not what I meant.” There was a sharp knock at the door. Max and I both jumped. From outside the door, a voice said, “Ready on the set, Zico.” He stood up, and bending down close to the mirror, gave himself a quick assessment. “You do good work,” he said to the girl. “Would you consider switching employers? I would pay more.” She looked at me nervously. “Is that a serious offer?” she asked him. “It is,” he said. “If you are interested, come to the KOZ building on Thursday, and ask for me.” As he walked to the door, he said to me, “You can come watch if you want.” “I will after I get your clothes ready for the next set,” I said. I noticed a huge grin on the little makeup artist. He stopped before opening the door and offered Max his hand. Max stood and took it. “Sorry to be so rude. If you stick around at all, you’ll see I’m a jealous bastard,” said Zico. “Understandable,” said Max. Zico left and the makeup girl followed. Max came over to me and said, “Wow! That guy is high strung.” “Tell me about it,” I said. “I have no idea how I saw past all of that to the real person. I never would have made it a week if I hadn’t.” “You seem to have a gift for that,” he said. “It seems that people want to show you the real them. I know I felt comfortable enough to let my guard down.” I winked at him. “That’s the secret weapon in my plan for world domination.” He laughed. “I think it’s working! Very smart plan. Attack from the inside. So insidious.” I lowered my head and looked up at him sinisterly. “Now that you know my plan, you have to die. You’re cute and all, but that won’t save you. A secret between two people only stays a secret if one of them is dead.” He laughed harder. Then he got serious and said, “If you can take me, then I deserve to die.” We both laughed. “I better hurry and get out there,” I said. “He wasn’t kidding about being jealous.”

  “Ji-Yong has got to know that I’m missing by now. He will call the police. I don’t want you to get into trouble,” I said. Zico smiled and rubbed his chin with his index finger. “I called him this morning before you woke up.” “What did he say?” I asked. “What did YOU say?” “He’s not very happy. I told him that I knew where you were and that you were safe. It’s the same thing that he and Seung-hyun did to me.” I glared at him. “Not exactly! They didn’t kidnap me!” “All of your things at your apartment are being packed up as we speak and put into storage. Except for your clothes and my work wardrobe. They are being sent to my hotel room,” he said. I was furious! I jumped up and said, “You can’t do that!” He stood up and put his face down into mine. “I can do anything that I want. Who’s going to stop me?” I wasn’t intimidated. “Let me out of here, Zico!” He smiled. It wasn’t a sweet smile or a happy smile. It was a sarcastic smile, and I wanted to smack it off of his face! “Call me Jiho from now on.” “You aren’t Jiho!” I said. “Call me Jiho,” he said. “Will you let me go if I do?” “No, but I’ll get you dessert for lunch,” he said. I had never wanted to smack him more than I did right now. “Jiho would never treat me this way. Zico is the one with the god complex.” “Zico IS a god,” he said. “Zico is a little boy who is trying his best to play in the same pool as the men, and he’s drowning,” I said. I regretted every damn word that had come out of my mouth. I just wanted to hit back at him and knock him off of his high horse, but I had hit on the one spot that he felt the most insecure about. It was the lowest of blows, and I was ashamed of myself. Especially, when I saw the hurt on his face. He turned and grabbed his jacket, heading for the door. “So no dessert then,” he said and slammed the door on his way out.

It was hours before I saw him again. It surprised me in a way, because I thought he would punish me with his absence for days. I decided not to speak to him until he let me go. It was really the only weapon that I had. He walked in carrying a bunch of shopping bags. I was sitting on the couch watching t.v. and I tried to ignore him. Silently, I was hoping that he had brought dinner because I didn’t have lunch, and I was starving. Why am I so hungry all of the time? I barely turned my head to watch him as he set the table. He never looked my way. He was either very hurt or very angry. I couldn’t tell. He had never used silence against me before. When he was done, he took the rest of the bags down the hall. I stayed right where I was. A few minutes later, he came out, turned off the t.v. and turned on the stereo. He surprised me again by coming over to me and holding out his hands. “Come and eat,” he said. “You have to be hungry.” I didn’t speak, but I did take his hands and let him help me to my feet. Mostly because I felt really bad about what I had said. He pulled out the chair for me. Is he trying to confuse me? Because it’s working. I sat down and waited for him to get into his chair. “I only got the things that you like to eat. I know you don’t like a lot of Korean food,” he said. “Okay, what’s going on?” I asked. I knew I was breaking my silence, but my curiosity was greater than my anger. He took a bite and said, “What do you mean?” “You aren’t mad at me?” I asked. He looked up from the food that he was practically cramming into his mouth. He stopped chewing for a second to say, “Why would I be?” I picked up my chopsticks. “Because of what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it by the way.” He shrugged and continued stuffing his face with food very quickly. “I know that,” he said. “You do?” I asked. He shrugged one shoulder and took a sip of soda. “Yeah. I know that they poisoned you against me. I don’t blame you,” he said. I put the chopsticks back down and leaned forward. “They didn’t, Zico. They never said anything against you. In fact, Seung-hyun always had good things to say about you. If you would get to know him, I think you would like him. You both have high ideas, and I think you would agree on a lot of things.” He laughed a little. “THAT’S never going to happen,” he said. “You better eat something before it’s gone.” I took a few bites. It was incredible how much food he could fit into his mouth at one time. “Will you get my phone for me from Seung-hyun’s house?” I asked. “No.” I took another bite. “Then will you get me another one?” “No.” “You mean I can’t have a phone?” I asked. “No.” “But, Zico! That’s not right! I need my phone!” I said. I could feel a huge pout coming on. “No phone. No Internet,” he said. He sat back after putting his chopsticks down, and finished off his soda. “I’m not stupid.” “I have to be here with no Internet? How do you expect me to get any work done?” I was in full pout now. My argument was weak, but I couldn’t think of another one. “You work for me. You and I will work on my new wardrobe together,” he said. “So in other words, supervised Internet!” I said. He nodded. “Yep.” “What about the fashion show I’m working on?” I asked. He got up from the table and rubbed his belly. Eating that fast had to be bad for his digestion. “I’m going to let you participate in that show. It’s good for your career. I know that you already finished the designing part and that Seung-hyun is having them sewn up. The show isn’t until the end of November. I’ll take you to all of the little workshops that you need to go to in between now and the show. As long as none of them are at his house.” I got up from the table. “You are treating me like a child!” “You acted like a child! So, essentially, you are grounded. As far as groundings go, I think you have it pretty damn good!” he said. There it was…that anger he was trying to hide. There was nothing I could do about any of this right now so I decided not to fight. I was so tired of fighting. I would think about it on my own and come up with a plan, but for tonight, I wanted peace. “Okay, Zico,” I said. I could tell that my answer threw him off a little. “Call me Jiho,” he said. “I’ll call you Jiho when you act like Jiho,” I said. He went to the bathroom without another word so I cleaned up the table. When he came back, he started the fireplace and sat on the couch. “Come and sit with me,” he said. “We’ll watch a movie.” I was still pouting, but I went over, and sat with him. He reached up to grab the t.v. remote and scooted closer to me in one move. He put subtitles on the movie for me, and then gathered the pillows into the corner of the couch. He stretched out behind me on the couch and pulled me down to lay in front of him, my head resting on his arm. It was hard to pay attention to the movie when I was hyper aware of every move he made, every breath he took, every sound he made. Soon, he was snoring softly behind me, his breath gently blowing across my hair. I was still upset about being held against my will, but laying here with him like this and listening to him breathe, softened my heart. I was never going to get over this man. I rolled over to face him. He was wearing a new cologne, and he smelled like heaven. I wrapped my arm and my leg around him, and laid my face flat against his chest. I could smell the detergent in his t-shirt under the smell of his cologne. He was so warm and familiar. I felt like I was at home when I was next to him. “I love you, Jiho,” I said quietly. “I love you too,” he mumbled and kissed the top of my head. I froze. I had thought he was asleep. After a minute, I realized that he was asleep after all. He had replied to me in his sleep. I unwrapped myself, and made my way off of the couch without disturbing him. My plan was to shower and go to bed without him to let him know that I was still displeased with this whole situation. I went into the bedroom to get a nightgown from my duffel bag when I found a brand new white satin gown laying on the bed. I couldn’t believe he had bought me a new nightgown. There was also a new fuzzy pink blanket on the bed. I took the gown into the bathroom with me where I found a whole set of skincare products. There was new shampoo and conditioner, and lotions. There was also perfume. I took the lid off and sprayed it into the air. I couldn’t read the label, but it smelled extremely expensive. It smelled like a room full of flowers. I showered and used every product he had bought. When I was done, I was softer than I had ever been. I slipped the nightgown on and sprayed myself with perfume. I felt like a wealthy woman of leisure. I wondered if he was trying to show me that he could take care of me just as well as Ji-Yong could. He didn’t understand that I already knew that. I crawled under my new fluffy blanket and found that the lining was silk. I imagined that this must be what it felt like to fly around in the clouds. Only less wet. The longer I laid there, the more I wished that Zico would join me. Finally, I fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, I felt movement behind me. I didn’t know when he had joined me in the bed, but I was glad that he had. I rolled over and scooted close to him so I could press myself against him. Taking advantage of his vulnerable state, I ran my hand up his back and over his shoulder blades. His skin was soft and warm. I laid my leg over his. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t get close enough to him. We laid like that for a little while. Then he turned over and pulled me against his chest. He began putting tiny kisses on my temple. They moved down my cheek until they landed on my neck. He licked and nibbled at my neck and shoulder as his hand explored the silkiness of the new gown that he had bought me. Then, he surprised me. I had expected his love making to continue, but he put his arms around my middle and nestled my back into the curve of his body and went back to sleep. It was one of the most frustrating nights I had ever spent with Zico, and that was saying something.

The sun coming through the windows woke me the next morning. Zico was gone. I walked through the house looking for him but all I found was a note. I have some work to take care of. I don’t know what time I’ll be back. There is cereal and milk in the kitchen. If I’m not back for lunch, I’ll send some food. —Jiho I poured some cereal, and went to watch t.v. while I ate. I am going to be bored as hell if he really keeps me here very long.   That’s when I remembered him saying something about an upstairs. I hadn’t seen any stairs here. There was a doorway in the right hand corner of the room, but I had thought that it was a utility cabinet. I finished my cereal, and went to investigate. Through the doorway was a set of circular stairs. I climbed them to find a whole new world. I stepped into a huge open room that was much more colorfully decorated than the downstairs. There was a full bar along the back wall, which was mirrored and fully stocked with every kind of alcohol you could name. In front of that was a comfortable looking sitting area. To the right was another giant television with a huge system of electronics on shelves to the right. Big squishy chairs surrounded it and I assumed this was considered the game room. There was also a pool table with purple felt and an air hockey table. When I looked to the left, my breath caught in my throat. There was a pool that started inside and ran all the way to the edge of the building outside. I think they call those infinity pools, I thought. It was terrifying. There was also a hot tub and beyond that was a garden. It hadn’t been cared for in a while and it was the end of October so it was sad looking. I didn’t have much of a green thumb, but I could always hire someone to take care of it. I could imagine how beautiful it would be to sit up here among roses and watch the sun come up.   “Well, Elizabeth,” I said out loud to myself, “You can’t let a nice looking swimming pool like that go to waste.” I pulled off the silk nightgown and slung it over the back of the nearest couch. Dipping my toe into the water to test the temperature left me pleasantly surprised. It was a heated pool so I sat down and slipped into the water. I had a feeling I was going to end up becoming a prune because I planned to spend a lot of time in this pool. I don’t know how long I swam and floated around. At one point, I got out to figure out how to play music. I finally figured out the monster of an electronics system enough to make music play in the overhead speakers. On the way back to the pool, I went behind the bar to look for a bottle of water. I found one, but I also found something called Crown Royal Salted Caramel. Hmm… This sounds delicious, I thought as I looked at the golden liquid. One shot wouldn’t hurt anything. I poured a shot, and stuck my tongue in it to see if it really tasted like caramel. It was very sweet. I drank it. It burned, but it tasted so good. One more should be okay. I poured another shot, and drank it more slowly. I let the liquor swish around in my mouth. I had to have a drink of water after that, but then of course I had just one last shot. That turned out not to be the last. I had five shots in total. When I started feeling it going to my head, I stopped and put the bottle back on the shelf. I got back into the pool. I wasn’t drunk…just delightfully tipsy. My skin was a little tingly and the warm water felt as silky as my new nightgown. I was tempted to strip off my underwear, but I got paranoid about being so out in the open. Then again, that might be super sexy, I thought. Seung-hyun has influenced me in more ways than I realized. I laughed to myself. It was partly the alcohol talking. I floated on top of the water with my eyes closed, and tried to forget everything that was going on. I thought about Zico’s kisses instead. That didn’t last long. “Are you dreaming of your shisha pool lover?” someone asked. It scared me so bad that I lost my concentration and went under. I swallowed water and, came up coughing. “Zico! You scared me!” “So were you?” he asked. “NO! I don’t remember my shisha pool lover!” I yelled at him and swam to the ladder. “I would have joined you, but it’s going to have to wait until I get that image out of my head,” he said and offered his hand. I ignored it. He went over to the wall where there was a cabinet full of towels, and brought me one. “It was Gong Yoo by the way,” he said. I grabbed the towel and wiped my face before wrapping it around myself. “What was Gong Yoo?” I asked. “Your shisha pool lover,” he said. “I thought you said you couldn’t tell from the picture who it was,” I said. “You can’t,” he said. “I ran into Ji-Yong today. Want lunch?” I followed him down the spiral stairs. “Really? You talked to him?” I asked. “What did he say?” At the bottom of the stairs, Zico turned and looked at me. “You could at least pretend to be less interested,” he said. Then he looked closer. He grabbed my chin and lifted my head up so he could look closer at my eyes. “What did you drink? You smell like candy.” I couldn’t remember the name of it. “Water,” I said. He rolled his eyes and walked away. “Come and get some food in your stomach before you get too drunk,” he said. I followed him like a scolded puppy to the table. He had brought pizza! There was also donuts. “What’s the celebration?” I asked. “I know you like pizza,” he said. I grabbed a piece and sat down, taking a huge bite. He stood, leaning against the island, watching me as he ate his own piece of pizza. “Damn! You really do like it don’t ya?” I gave him a “bite me” smile with squinted eyes and took another big bite. “I don’t know what it is,” I said with my mouth full. Looks like I’ve been influenced by Zico’s bad habits as well, I thought. “I have been so hungry lately.” Zico stopped chewing and stared at me. “What? I asked. “You don’t think…something is wrong do you?” he asked. I knew he was alluding to pregnancy. “I don’t think so,” I said. “You don’t know?” he asked. “Well, no. Things have been so crazy that I haven’t been keeping track of things. So, I’m not sure,” I said. “If I had my phone, I could check, but someone is being a bully and won’t get my phone for me.” “I am not a bully. I have your phone. Ji-Yong gave it to me today to give to you,” he said and took a drink of his soda. I wished he would sit down. “That’s awesome!” I said. “Can I have it?” “No,” he said. He pulled my phone out of his pocket and turned it on. “Zico! Let me see it!” I stood up. “NO!” he said. “Why don’t you have a password?” I sat back down. I knew he wouldn’t let me see it. “What’s the use? You and Ji-Yong use my phone more than I do,” I said. He gave me the “bite me” smile back. “So, how do you check to see if you’re pregnant on here?” he asked. “Open the app that says Flo,” I said. He touched the phone. “Okay. It has a big red circle that says 64 days late,” he said. “WHAT?” I yelled and dropped my pizza on the table. I got up, nearly knocking my chair over and hurried over to Zico. I grabbed the phone out of his hands, and he didn’t try to stop me. “That can’t be possible!” I looked back through the app. August 12th? What’s today? OH NO! It’s October 15th. I don’t even feel like I’m going to start! My heart was pounding in my chest. My mind was so jangled that I handed the phone back to Zico without thinking. I walked into the living room and sat on the couch muttering, “What am I going to do? I can’t be. I can’t!” to myself. Zico came in and sat beside me. The look in his eyes was fear. “What does that mean?” he asked. I looked at him. My body felt numb. “It means that I’ve missed my period for two months,” I said. “And I’m starving all of the time. And I might be pregnant,” I said. He was quiet for a minute. Then he spoke just above a whisper, “Who’s baby is it?” I had to think. The last few times I had had sex was with him. “It’s yours,” I said. “Are you sure?” he asked. “I’m positive,” I said. Zico pulled out his phone and made a call. He stood up and walked away from me even though he was speaking in Korean. He didn’t talk long when he put his phone in one pocket and mine in the other. “Go get dressed,” he said. “We are going to take care of this right now.” I jumped up, “What does that mean?” “No! No, that’s not what I meant! I mean we are going for a test,” he said. “Hurry.” I ran down the hall and into the walk in closet. I stopped dead. There were clothes hanging there that I had never seen before. I looked through them and they were gorgeous. I would have picked out every piece in here for myself. “Do you like them?” asked Zico. He was leaning against the doorway with his arms akimbo watching me. “I’m not great at picking out clothes for women.” My eyes filled with tears. “They are wonderful,” I said. “You didn’t have to do this.” “Yes, I did,” he said. “If I’m going to hold you captive, the least I can do is dress you.” I walked over and put my arms around him. “Thank you. I love them. You picked exactly what I would have picked.” “Good! Now, put something on. We have to go. I had to beg them to fit you in today,” he said. “Will you pick something for me?” He smiled. “Okaaay,” he said. He handed me a sunflower yellow top and a pair of jeans. I put them on and they fit perfectly. “I don’t know how you did that, but maybe you should get into costuming,” I said. “No thanks!” he said. “I’ll leave that to you nerds.” “Hey!” I said and playfully punched him in the arm.

I always forget how scary Zico’s driving is until I’m in the car with him. I distracted myself by asking him a question that I knew he didn’t want to hear. “So, what did you and Ji-Yong talk about? Where did you see him?” He shifted gears and said, “I was getting coffee, and he was there with some girl.” “Some girl? What girl?” I asked. “I didn’t know her,” he said with a hint of a smile. “What did he say?” He shifted again and swung around a slower car. “He came over and asked if you were okay.” “That’s it?” I asked. “No. I told him you were great. He wanted to know where you were. I answered by asking him about that party and why he had let you get high.” “He didn’t LET me, Zico. I chose to do it,” I said. “He LET you. I wouldn’t have let you. No matter what you CHOSE to do,” he said. That’s true. “What did he say about the party? He probably couldn’t remember either,” I said. We stopped for a red light. “Actually, he did remember. He didn’t get as high as you did. He said he went in for a glass of water, and when he came back out, you were in the pool with Gong Yoo. He was high as fuck too apparently.” I could remember floating. “He said he got in the pool and fished you out. You took off your dress and he took you in the house to find something to put on you. Everyone else got in the pool. He put a robe on you and left you in a bed to sleep. Seung-hyun found you in the bed later with Gong Yoo. He took a liking to you it seems. Ji-Yong said he’s called Seung-hyun three times asking about you. He wanted your number,” said Zico. “That’s weird,” I said. “Seung-hyun made him leave the room and locked you in to sleep. Then he and Ji-Yong decided to go to bed too and for some reason, they thought the best place was to sleep with you.” “He doesn’t like to sleep alone,” I said. Zico gave me a funny look. “Then they woke up and you were gone. They didn’t remember me coming into the room, and taking you out of there. At least that’s the story he told me. It’s a much better story than I had imagined in my head so I’m going to choose to believe it.” I put my hand on the hand that he held the gear shift with. “He wouldn’t lie,” I said. “He gave me your phone and asked me to keep you away from Gong Yoo. He threatened me with the police if you didn’t call him,” said Zico. “Then let me call him,” I said. “Did you hit your head while I was gone?” he asked. “Funny! What harm could it do? I’ll tell him I’m okay, and put his mind at ease,” I said. Zico pulled into a parking space and turned off the car. He turned in his seat to face me. “I don’t want his mind at ease. I want him to be as crazy as I was when they kept you from me. I want them to think about why I had to rescue you from them. I’m also pretty sure that he’s either using this phone’s gps, which I disabled before I came home, or he’s put a gps chip in it. That’s why it’s not going back to the apartment with us. I shouldn’t have taken it before. I’m pretty sure he’s just using the phone’s gps though.” “I don’t want you to get into trouble,” I said. “Let him call the cops,” he said. “They can’t prove anything. And if they do find you, are you going to have me arrested?” I shook my head. “Of course not.” “Then don’t worry bout it,” he said and smiled at me. “Now, let’s go in and see how much trouble we are in.”

He held my hand, chewed his thumbnail, and bounced his knee as we waited to see the doctor. When they called my name, he stood up to go with me. “What are you doing?” I asked him. “I’m going in too,” he said. “You don’t need to,” I said. “I’ll be okay.” He put his hand on my lower back and said, “I won’t.” They gave him funny looks when he went in the back, but in the usual Zico fashion, he ignored them. I went through all of the usual tests and a sonogram. My tummy was all tied up in knots. Zico didn’t speak. He sat to the side and chewed his thumb. I was surprised that he had a thumbnail left when the doctor finally came in. He opened the file and laid it on the table next to me to read it. “Well, I don’t know if this is good news for you or bad, but you aren’t pregnant. You do have a pretty bad cyst on one of your ovaries, however. Have you been going through a stressful time lately?” He pushed his glasses up his nose and looked at me. “Yes, I have,” I said and looked at Zico. He looked visibly relieved. I guess two babies would have been too much for him to handle, I thought. “I think that stress combined with the cyst is what has thrown off your cycle. I’m going to prescribe a medication, but I want to keep an eye on it. I want to see you back here in two weeks to see if it’s gone or if it’s going to be a problem,” he said and wrote out a prescription. “I want you to take it easy and you need to reduce that stress. Take care of yourself. I’m going to give you some vitamins too. If you start feeling any sharp pains in your side, get up to the hospital. They will call me.” He handed me the little paper and turned to Zico. “How is Alicia?” I looked at Zico in surprise. How does he know Alicia??? Zico looked at me too. I could tell he didn’t want me to know what the doctor was talking about. He answered the doctor in Korean so the doctor switched to that language too. The doctor went over to talk quietly across the room. Then he left, and Zico looked at me. He was smacking one of his hands nervously into the other. “He’s coming back,” he said. I nodded. “What is that all about?” “I’m not sure,” he said. “How does he know Alicia?” I asked. He held up one finger. “Just wait. We’ll talk in the car.” I kept my peace, but only because we were in a doctor’s office. The doctor came back in and handed Zico an envelope. Zico looked in it and in English asked, “What is this? The doctor looked around at me and then back to Zico. “I can’t lie anymore. I don’t know why I took the money. I’m not that kind of person. I promise. The guilt has been killing me,” he said and pushed his glasses up again. “What is this for?” asked Zico. Please hold your tempter, Zico, I thought. “I let Miss Wright bribe me to lie in her chart,” he said. “About what?” asked Zico. His anger was building. I could see it in his eyes. “She promised to send me a thousand every month if I would say that her pregnancy test was positive. She said that her home test was positive and that you would be devastated if I told you that she had lost the baby. But she didn’t. She was never pregnant. I checked. She said that it would give her enough time to become pregnant again, and maybe you would never know that the other baby was gone. Even though I knew it was never there. She’s very good at making you want to help her. When she left though, I started feeling guilty. When I found out that you were here, I knew I had to tell you the truth. Please give Miss Wright her money back and tell her that I’m sorry, but I can’t be her doctor anymore. I’m sorry to you too. I know that you wanted that baby very much, but it should be a little comforting to know that it never existed. She didn’t lose your child.” Zico looked at the money, then at the doctor, then at me. He did that three times. Then in a burst of energy, he hugged the doctor and kissed his cheek. “You don’t have to be sorry. Thank you for this! She lied to you. I was devastated that she was pregnant! Not because she wasn’t! You have given me the greatest gift ever today!” He hugged him again. The doctor didn’t know what was going on. He had a confused scared look on his face. He looked at me and shrugged. Zico came over and grabbed my hand. “Thanks again, Doc! I’ll be sure to tell Alicia that she doesn’t owe you anything, and I’ll take good care of this one.” He kissed my cheek and then pulled me out the door. He all but skipped to the car. I hadn’t seen him this happy in forever. I had to admit that my heart was full of many emotions, but the main one was intense happiness. I knew she lied! She had to be faking it! Now Zico can truly be mine. When we got to the car, Zico pushed me up against the car and all but consumed me in a long heart-melting kiss. He pulled away, out of breath, and said, “You know what this means?” “What?” I said expectantly. “I’m free! I’m free of everything! I’m sending Alicia back to America, and I never want to see her again!” He picked me up and swung me around. When he put me down, he pulled the envelope of money out of his pocket. “See this? I was going to take you shopping so that we could pick out clothes for my photo-shoot tomorrow. Now Alicia is buying most of it!” He opened my car door and helped me in the car. I was still in shock. I think I just won the lottery!

His driving was even worse now, and he was talking a mile a minute. It was like he was let out of prison, and maybe he felt that way. “I can’t believe that Bitch lied to me!” he said. “I don’t know how she thought she was going to pull that one off! We weren’t even sleeping together. Did she think I wasn’t going to notice? Was she going to fake a miscarriage after we were married? Did she think I would stay with her after that? I can’t believe I ever thought I loved her.” “I don’t have to feel guilty for punching her in the stomach anymore either,” I said. “Oh. My. God!” he said. “I couldn’t believe you did that! I never told you how proud I was of you! That was so BAD ASS!” he said excitedly. “Well, thank you,” I said. “I was really mad. I knew she was faking a suicide attempt to manipulate you into staying.” “It was so great. I knew she was faking too, but I never saw that coming,” he said. I looked over at Zico and rubbed his arm. “I’m really sorry she did you that way,” I said. “I’m sorry I let her come between us,” he said. “I was such an idiot! I knew it from the beginning too, but I didn’t know how to fix it. Now things can go back to the way they were supposed to be.” I played with the pink pearl on my bracelet. “Can they?” I asked. He looked at my hands. “What do you mean? Of course they can. You want that don’t you?” “I do. But it’s not fair for me to keep jerking Ji-Yong around that way. I sort of committed myself to him when I thought that you were going to marry Alicia. I can’t use him that way.” “Are you saying that you are going back to him?” asked Zico. “No. I’m just saying that it isn’t right. What kind of person would I be?” I asked. Zico parked by the sidewalk. “He didn’t seem that hurt at the coffee shop,” he said. “I’m just being honest. I know that when they kept you away from me, I wasn’t out having coffee with some other chick. I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but I want you to see the options clearly. Think about the way he treats you. Really think about it. He took you to a lot of parties where you got high. I even made love to you at one and he didn’t notice. He let’s you stay with his best friend knowing that you are sleeping in his bed. He never even took you to his place. It doesn’t seem that deep with him to me.” “Wait! How do you know that we never went to his apartment?” I asked. “I know things,” he said. His little spying body guards! “What is this?” he asked and picked up the pearl on my bracelet. “Ji-Yong got that for me. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that you gave me the bracelet,” I said. “I see,” he said. “All of the things that you said are true. But, Zico, he’s not you. He doesn’t try to control my every move or tell me what I can and can’t do. He didn’t LET me do any of those things. I did them and he honored my choices. We had a different kind of relationship,” I said. “I don’t want to control you. I want to keep you safe. You don’t know the danger you are in, but I do. I see all of the death threats. You don’t make great decisions. You let your emotions lead you, and that’s one thing I love about you, but it also gets you into trouble. For example,” he said. “You thought you were safe at that last party. Then there was Gong Yoo who took advantage of that. You were lucky that Ji-Yong was sober enough to stop that before it went too far, but what if he hadn’t been. I’m pretty sure that Yoo would have had sex with you in that pool. If I had been there, that never would have happened. Ji-Yong doesn’t know you like I do. I think he cares for you, but he doesn’t love you. What you see as controlling you is my way of taking care of you.” Nodding I said, “I know that. None of it changes the fact that using him because I couldn’t have you was wrong. He’s going to get hurt, and it’s my fault.” “I don’t think he’s going to get that hurt,” said Zico. “I hope you’re right,” I said. “I’ll just keep you locked up until he marries someone else,” he said. I laughed. “Zico! You will not.” He wasn’t laughing. “Watch me,” he said.”I’m not losing you again.” I wanted to change the subject so I asked, “Well, what kind of clothes are we looking for? What is the theme of your photo-shoot?” “One set is sponsored, but the other two are set by the magazine. One set is pastel and the other is hip-hop street,” he said. “Those are broad,” I said. “But I’m sure we can find something.” “Let’s hit it,” he said and got out of the car.

We found a swirling clock t-shirt and loose black and brown cargo pants with pockets and straps for the street set. I am pairing it with a long bomber coat covered in graffiti. The pastel set was harder. I didn’t know if it was casual or formal. They just said pastel. I went with casual formal. We bought a chunky mint green cable knit sweater with a pastel blue long sleeve polo shirt underneath. I found a pair of tight white linen pants that cupped his backside perfectly. I kept that little tidbit to myself. I picked up a white ribbed tank undershirt on a whim. Maybe they will use it. Maybe not. I know I’ll enjoy it on him later.   I talked Zico into taking me to see Marco. It helped that he was in such a good mood. Marco had been doing a little physical therapy, and he was already looking much better. He still couldn’t remember anything, but it was okay with me if he never did. I was afraid that the memory of it would hurt him.  He took his bears with him to therapy everyday. “Don’t you get strange looks?” I asked him. “They like them,” he said. “They are all princesses and they say she the Queen.” He pointed at the Elizabeth bear. I squeezed his hand. “That’s right, Marco! Don’t you forget it.” We laughed. Zico sat and watched us talking. I could see him shake his head sometimes out of the corner of my eye. He would never understand how I had made such a close connection to my big scary body guard that couldn’t speak English very well. That was because he couldn’t see the real person beyond the muscles and the gun. Marco had a tender heart. I was sure that he only got into his job because he was such a giant. “What is your favorite part about therapy?” I asked him. He thought for a minute. He looked over at Zico, and then behind his hand, he whispered, “The princesses. They are very pretty.” He grinned a big toothy grin and his gold tooth sparkled. I tried to hold it in, but I couldn’t, and I burst out laughing. I told him, “You don’t have to whisper. Zico likes pretty girls too.” He looked at Zico again. “But he doesn’t know that I do,” he said. I pressed my lips together. “Of course you do,” said Zico. “What’s not to like? What part do you like best?” I rolled my eyes at him. Marco looked at me now. Behind his hand, he whispered to Zico, “When they bend over.” I put my hands over my mouth and died laughing. “Mine too!” said Zico. I was so glad he was trying to relate to Marco as a person and not just an employee. I looked from him to Marco, and I realized that these people were my family. I had come to Korea looking for a job, and I had found my whole world. It included Ji-Yong and Seung-hyun and even Jong. I loved all of them. I had an American family that I loved very much, but I didn’t have much of a life in America. I was alone most of the time. I had expected to come here and do my job for three months and then go back home to business as usual. Then Zico happened, and I thank God that he did. “Alright, you perverts! Ya’ll can talk about girls when I’m not here,” I said. “I like when you bend over too,” said Zico and winked at me. “I NEVER looked at you like that Miss Elizabeth!” said Marco emphatically. “I promise!” “I know that Marco,” I said. “You and I are like brother and sister.” We talked for a while longer, and Zico even joined in sometimes. Then we had to go.

In the car my stomach started growling out loud. “I guess that’s your way of saying you want to go eat,” said Zico. “You are very observant, Sir,” I said. “Oh! I like it when you call me Sir,” he said. I ran the back of my hand down his cheek softly. “Don’t get used to it,” I said. “You are such a saucy young lady!” he said. “I am many things. Sir,” I said. He smiled and pulled into the restaurant parking lot. It seemed to be busy for dinner, but Zico insisted that we had to have spaghetti and it had to be from this restaurant. We went in and were seated immediately, in spite of the fact that it looked like several people were waiting. There’s that privilege again, I thought. Our table was in a quiet corner, but it was still loud. There was a party going on in a separate room. “Why did you insist we eat here?” I asked Zico. He was looking at the menu. I didn’t bother because he would order for me anyway.   Without looking up he said, “You will see. I’m craving carbs, and no one makes pasta like Chef Pan.” I watched people come in and join the party. I didn’t tell Zico when Daesung came in with a gorgeous woman on his arm. Close behind him was Young-bae. He also brought a lady with him. The waiter came over and Zico ordered in Korean. I was still watching the door. The next time it opened, my stomach dropped, and I felt sick. Ji-Yong came in, and he too had a beautiful Korean girl with him. They were dressed formally. I didn’t know what kind of function they had been to or were getting ready to go to. I didn’t feel much like eating anymore. Zico was right. He didn’t care. I really was just a doll for them to play with. Don’t worry, Zico, I thought. I was an idiot too. Unfortunately, they sat Ji-Yong right where I could see him through the door. I tried my best to ignore him, but it was very hard to do. Zico had to repeat things several times because my attention had been elsewhere. It wasn’t the fact that he was here with another woman. I mean, I was here with Zico and I was happy about it, but it came down to the fact that he had been lying to me. But why? I watched him lean over and smile as she whispered something in his ear. Then he threw his head back as he laughed. I guess I don’t have to worry about hurting him, I thought. I don’t think it’s going to matter if I ever talk to him again. He seems perfectly happy. “Elizabeth?” said Zico. I snapped out of my thoughts. “Yeah! What? I’m sorry. My mind was somewhere else,” I said. “I asked if you were going to eat. Would you like something else?” he asked. “Um… no. This is great.” I twirled my fork in the spaghetti and took a bite. After I chewed a couple of times, I realized that it actually was the best spaghetti I had ever had. “Mmm…dis is dewishous,” I said with my mouth full. “Didn’t I tell you?” asked Zico. I nodded and stuffed another bite into my mouth. That’s when I remembered what Ji-Yong had said about liking to watch me eat. I looked down at the huge plate of spaghetti, and all of a sudden I felt really bad about myself. I could see my little fat roll sticking out, and then I looked at the girl that sat beside Ji-Yong. She was stick thin, and was delicately eating what looked like a tomato with her chopsticks. They were still laughing. I put my fork down. I felt sick. I finished the bite that I had and then I only ate the spaghetti by strands. “Zico?” I said. “Hm?” he was still filling his mouth to the limit. “Do you think I’m fat?” I asked. He stopped chewing and looked up at me. “What?” “I think I eat too much,” I said. He looked confused. After he swallowed, he said, “Elizabeth, you are perfect. I love that you actually eat. Most girls that I dated wasted the food I bought them. And you know that I find you sexy as hell. When I look at you, I feel twinges in my body that I have never felt for anyone else. Where did this come from all of a sudden?” I shrugged. I wanted to believe him. I looked at her and she was sipping water with lemon. “I need to visit the ladies room,” I said. He grabbed my hand as I stood up. “Are you okay? Did something happen that I don’t know about?” I smiled and patted his hand. “I’m okay.” In the bathroom, I pulled up my shirt and looked at my chubby belly. How am I supposed to compete with these girls that starve and dance all day? Is Zico going to find a cute, tiny Korean girl one day and decide he’s tired of my flabby body? I have to do better. I decided then and there that I was going to get in shape. I finished in the bathroom, and when I opened the door, I came face to face with a huge problem. Literally face to face. I ran into Ji-Yong, and stepped on his foot. He was standing right outside of the bathroom door with Seung-hyun. “Ji-Yong?” It was all I could manage before he grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hallway the wrong way. Neither of them said a word. I looked back at Seung-hyun and he looked more serious than I had ever seen him. I tried to pull my arm out of Ji-Yong’s grasp, but he squeezed harder, hurting me. “What is going on?” I asked. “Where are we going?” They wouldn’t answer me. Ji-Yong opened a door that led outside. “Stop Ji-Yong! Let me go!” There was a limo in the alley. The door was already open, and Ji-Yong shoved me into the car. He wasn’t being easy either. I was beginning to panic. Savannah was already in the car and Seung-hyun got in on the other side. “I’m sorry,” said Ji-Yong. He was out of breath. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I had to hurry. I’ll see you in a little while.” He shut the door and the car started to move. “Seung-hyun! What in the hell is going on?” I sounded angrier than I meant to, but I WAS angry! “I’m taking you home,” he said. “You don’t even know where I live,” I said. “MY home,” he said. “WHY? Where is Zico?” He looked at Savannah, and she gave me a pitying look. It pissed me off. “He’s probably talking to the police right about now,” he said. “WHAT? WHY?” I knew I was yelling, but I didn’t care. “Because he kidnapped you, Elizabeth. He came into MY house, and literally took you away. He wouldn’t let us talk to you. We couldn’t find you anywhere. When I saw you at the restaurant tonight, I was stunned,” said Seung-hyun. “He wasn’t hurting me,” I said. “I don’t care,” he said. “He can’t come into someones house, and take people against their will.” It was the last straw. I couldn’t take anymore. I started to cry and the more I cried, the harder the sobs became. Savannah moved over to sit beside me. She put her arms around me, and I leaned into her shoulder and continued to cry. She rubbed my head as if I was a child. It felt good to have the comfort of another woman, even if she was a stranger. It wasn’t long before we pulled up to Seung-hyun’s house. He got out first, and came around to open my door. I jerked my hand away from him when he tried to help me out. I was furious. All of this was ridiculous. Even Zico. What it came down to was two men fighting over territory. It wasn’t really about me. They were equally matched and they couldn’t stand it. They were both too big to occupy the same space. Two dragons fighting over the same mountain top. I walked behind Seung-hyun into the house. There was an American man standing just inside the door. He was dressed in a suit so I knew he wasn’t staff. “Elizabeth, this is Mr. Max Lewinsky,” Seung-hyun said. The man held out his hand for me to shake. I took it begrudgingly. He had very soft hands. My mother used to say that a man with soft hands had never done a days work in his life. Most work was a little different in her day I had to admit, but I still always noticed it. In my pissed off state, I was in no mood to put up with yet another man’s bullshit. “Hello,” he said as I shook his hand. Oh. I was wrong. He’s British. “Mr. Lewinsky is going to stay with you while I’m out. I would stay, but it’s a work thing and I can’t get out of it,” said Seung-hyun. He gave me a stern look. “DON’T give him a hard time! He’s a nice man, and he is doing me a favor.” I gave Seung-hyun a stern look right back. “I don’t care about your favors at the moment!” “We will talk when I get home. Be good! I mean it, little one!” With that, he left without giving me a chance to retort. I looked at Mr. Lewinsky. “You aren’t going to be another body guard asshole are you?” I asked. I didn’t feel like being polite. He shook his head with a little laugh. “No. I’m not a body guard nor an asshole. I do have this spiffy gun though,” he said as he pulled his jacket back to show it to me. “It makes me look bad ass doesn’t it?” He raised one eyebrow and stuck his tongue in his cheek. I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or if he was trying to be funny. It made me laugh, even as angry as I was. “Are you threatening me?” I asked. He reached out for my shoulder. “Oh God, no. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I was kidding,” he said. I laughed more at his distress. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t mean to be impolite. I’m mad at them, not you.” “It’s okay,” he said. “Seung-hyun said that you weren’t going to be happy when you got here.” He has such a cute accent, I thought. It’s kinda sexy. Max Lewinsky was a good looking man. He had kind blue eyes and a sweet smile. He wasn’t much taller than me, had a nice neat goatee, and a few tiny freckles that ran right over the bridge of his nose. His dark hair was tousled instead of being neatly combed. It made him seem more approachable. “Are you hungry, Mr. Lewinsky?” I asked. I was still hungry since I didn’t eat much at the restaurant. “Please, call me Max,” he said. “I could eat.” I turned to go to the kitchen. “Let’s see what that asshole has in his fridge,” I said. He laughed and followed me.

I sat with him, holding his hand, until they came and kicked me out. They said he needed to rest. I knew he did, but I felt selfish, and I didn’t want to leave him. I had been there for hours and it wasn’t enough. Kissing his cheek, I told him I would be back the next day, and I left. It was so tempting to ask him a million questions, but I didn’t. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway because he said he couldn’t remember anything. He didn’t remember what happened to him or who had done it. The doctor told him that his memory may come back to him, but it was very likely that he would never remember the things that happened just before his coma. His body had healed, and he was ready to begin physical therapy after the weekend. They would give him fluids and vitamins until then, and start strengthening him. He would be back to mountain status in no time. It was a different story for me, however. I felt like a pane of fractured glass. The next little thing that happened was going to shatter me. I felt completely out of control. I was like a chess pawn, being pushed to whichever square these boys thought I should be in next. I guess that would make Alicia the Queen, and now Zico was her King. My emotions didn’t know which way to run. I was experiencing pain and joy and confusion and clarity all at once. It made me feel numb. The next stop I made was Ji-Yong’s room. I painted a big fake smile on my face just like I was an expert makeup artist. He was also all smiles. “I see that you are feeling much better,’ I said. “I am now! Come over here and hug me,” he said. I did as I was told. Like I always did. I’ve really got to quit doing that, I thought. I leaned over to hug him, and he put his arms around me and pulled me up into his lap. “Well! Someone is feeling way too good,” I said. “What kind of pain killers do they have you on and can I have some?” He laughed. “I have no idea, but they are miracle workers he said. He kissed me. And kissed me. And kissed me… I can’t lie. I kissed him back. It felt wrong and right. It felt rebellious and vengeful. It felt strange and comfortable. It felt like a salve on my open wounds. “Ji-Yong! Someone is going to come in here,” I said. He grinned. “You are blushing,” he said. “You just wait until they release me. I’m going to try to keep you blushing for days.” That really did make me blush. “Ji-Yong!” “I’m going to take you back to my place, strip you down and hide your clothes. Then I’m going to have my way with you in every room, and on every surface of my house,” he said. Now he’s just saying things to embarrass me. “You know? I’ve never thought about you having a house. You have a house?” “Of course I have a house,” he said. “Well, it’s an apartment. Where did you think I went when I went home?” “I never thought about it,” I said. “Why have we never gone to your apartment?” “Reporters sit outside my place waiting for photo opportunities. I didn’t want to expose you like that,” he said. I stuck my bottom lip out in a pout. “You’re ashamed of me,” I said. “I am NOT!” he said with a guilty laugh. “Yes you are! You are ashamed of me. You don’t want anyone to know about me,” I said. “Elizabeth! Everyone knows about me and you! I’m extremely proud to call you mine! I was doing you a favor. I didn’t want anyone to say something bad about you,” he said. “You don’t really think that do you?” I ran my thumb over his bottom lip and said, “I guess you will have to convince me.” “Oh really?” he said. “So that was a fake blush.” He scooted over and pulled me down to lay beside him in the bed. We stayed that way, talking and kissing, until we were interrupted by someone clearing their throat loudly. Seung-hyun was standing at the end of the bed with a raised eyebrow. “Now, Elizabeth! This boy is sick and on drugs, and you are taking advantage of him. You should be ashamed,” he said. “I tried to fight her off, Hyung. She overpowered me. She kept trying to molest me, and I was too weak to fight her off. You came just in time,” said Ji-Yong. “If only you could have done the same for me last night,” said Seung-hyung. “I wasn’t as lucky as you. I fought hard, but she’s a tigress. Did you show him your wounds, Elizabeth?” I gave him a look that said, Shuuush! And shook my head. Then I looked over at Ji-Yong and smiled. “What wounds? You got wounds? How did she get wounds?” he asked and looked up at Seung-hyun. “It was my fault,” he said. Ji-Yong sat up, leaning back on his hands. “You wounded her? What did you do? I put her in your care, Hyung,” he said. I got out of the bed. “It was an accident,” I said. I mumbled to Seung-hyun as I walked behind him, “I wasn’t going to say anything!” “You thought he wouldn’t see it eventually?” asked Seung-hyun. “I started sleep walking again.” Ji-Yong got out of bed at that, pulling his I.V. “Come over here, Elizabeth,” he said. “What did you do to her?” “I bit her,” he said. “You BIT HER?” asked Ji-Yong. “It’s okay, Ji-Yong,” I said. “Let me see.” I pulled the collar down on my turtleneck and showed him the bandage. He gently pulled on the edge until he could see the bite. “What the hell, Seung-hyun? Why did that crap start up again? What’s been going on?” “I don’t know,” he said. “Well, she can’t stay there anymore,” said Ji-Yong. “She most certainly can,” said Seung-hyun. “She knows what to do now.” Ji-Yong climbed back into the bed. “But what if she’s asleep? What if you kill her before she wakes up?” “That’s not how it works, and you know it,” said Seung-hyun. “I feel guilty enough already. Now you’re going to say she can’t stay?” I was just looking from one to the other, wondering when they were going to include me in the conversation. They all automatically assume that I have no say in where I go or stay or anything for that matter! “I just worry. At least give her a weapon,” said Ji-Yong. “HEY!” I said. They both looked at me like they had forgotten I was in the room. “I hate to break it to you two, but I’m a person with a brain and a will of her own. I can make my own decisions. You all act like you are fighting over custody of a child. Even Zico!” “We just want to make sure you are safe,” said Ji-Yong. “We don’t mean to make decisions for you.” “Yes we do!” said Seung-hyun. “We are well versed in this business, and we know what is safe and what isn’t. We know Seoul. We know where you can go and where you can’t and we also have security everywhere. You don’t see them, because you aren’t supposed to. Our homes are secure, and most of the functions that we attend are secure. This city is dangerous enough for a regular woman, but you have people actively seeking you out to harm you. We get death threats every day, and we even get them against you. A lot of these fans are insane. They think they own us, and they see you as a threat. They have crazy ideas that one day they will come to a fan meet or a concert, and we will fall in love with them. If you get in the way of that, they have to get you out of the way. That’s why you can’t walk around by yourself. That’s why Woo Jiho has guards around you all of the time. You know about the one visible body guard that he lets walk around with you. You don’t know about the other three that follow you everywhere” “What? What other three?” I asked. “They are in this hospital right now,” he said. “He knows what kind of danger you are in all of the time. Why do you think he panics so much when you don’t answer your phone?” “That’s how he always knows where I am!” I said. “Yes, that’s how he knows everything,” he said. “I understand,” I said. “I didn’t realize all of that.” “I know you didn’t. Now you do so you will be a good girl, and stop getting yourself into so much trouble. You are making all of us crazy!” he said. It was quiet for a minute and then we all laughed. We talked for another hour before Seung-hyun and I left. I didn’t know I was staying another night with him, but that was decided for me too.

Zico was not happy when he found out that I was staying with Seung-hyun. I was talking to him while Seung-hyun walked around the kitchen making dinner and listening in to our conversation. “Why don’t you stay in your new apartment?” he asked. “It hurts my heart. It’s lonely there, Zico.” “Are you falling for Seung-hyun?” he asked. I laughed. “No! As a matter of fact, I may rethink my plan to return to America after all. At least until after the fashion show in November. I’ve been talking to Ji-Yong, and he offered to let me live with him if I stay. I could still work for you and finish getting ready for the show. I wouldn’t have to worry about rent or anything else.” “You don’t have to worry about that at our apartment!” he said. It didn’t escape my notice that it went from being ‘your apartment’ to being ‘our apartment’. Zico knew that he could come and go as he pleased in that apartment, and I couldn’t let that happen. I would keep getting my heart broken over and over. “I love that place, Jiho. I really do. But like I said, it’s so lonely there. Why don’t you reconsider and take Alicia there?” “Because it belongs to you. I can’t stand the thought of her in that place.” “Well, dinner is almost done. I just wanted you to know that I’m okay,” I said. “I don’t want you to go,” he said. “I was also thinking about something else,” I said quietly. “I think we are going to have to start treating our relationship as a work relationship. This is the last time I’m going to call you to tell you where I am. I’m very well taken care of. It wouldn’t be fair to Ji-Yong for me to keep this going.” He was quiet. “Zico? Are you still there?” “I don’t know if I can live with this,” he said. “You can. You are Zico! You can do anything! I have to go,” I said. “I love you,” he said. I hung up. My heart was breaking.

I’m the one who had the nightmares that night. Zico had tried calling back and sending texts all evening. I had to turn my phone off. I tried not to think about him. That made it harder not to think about him. That night when I went to bed, I prayed for relief or death. Whichever, would make this constant ache in my chest stop. I didn’t get to sleep until early in the morning so Seung-hyun let me sleep late. When I woke up it was after noon. I found a fresh set of clothes waiting for me. Seung-hyun had chosen a bright red dress for me to wear today. He came up to check on me when I was mostly dressed. I was fastening the strappy red shoes over the sheer shiny tights he had selected. They had the tiniest ruby gemstones throughout the fabric that only sparkled when the light hit them just right. “Come over here, and let me do your hair,” he said. “I have a surprise waiting for you downstairs for lunch.” “I feel like it’s my birthday,” I said. “I keep getting all kinds of surprises from everyone.” “Everyone loves you,” he said. I sat down in front of the mirror. “That’s definitely not true,” I said. “Everyone feels sorry for me.” “No. You feel sorry for yourself enough that we don’t have to,” he said. He pulled the sides of my hair up into tiny pigtails on top of my head that he tied with bright green ribbons. He let the long tails of the ribbon flow down through the back of my hair. “Seung-hyun! That was mean,” I said. He looked at me in the mirror. “I wasn’t trying to be mean. I’ve been broken hearted before. Being dead would hurt less, but the pain doesn’t last forever. The best cure is a new love, and you already have one waiting for you. So, you get one week.” “One week?” I asked. “For?…” “To pout and mope around. Then you have to get to work on your new relationship. It’s not fair to make him wait longer than that,” he said. I put on makeup as we talked, and when I was done, I had to ask, “Am I an apple today or a cherry?” “You are a cherry of course. Cherries are the candy of the fruit world. You are the candy of Ji-Yong’s world.” “Oh, Seung-hyun. That was weak,” I said. “It made you smile,” he said. “Besides, red is his favorite color, and you look amazing in bright colors.” It did make me smile. “I look like a little girl,” I said. “You are adorable,” he said. “Are we going to see Ji-Yong?” I asked. “We are,” he said and pulled me up from the chair. “I have to go see Kim Marco too,” I said. “Of course. But first, lunch. Eat a lot. You have a long day coming,” he said. I’m not even going to ask. I feel faded today, as if I’m a thin sheet of tissue paper. I’m just going to let him move me around the chessboard, however he likes.

“We might as well eat outside since we don’t have many more nice days to do so,” he said. I followed him out to the side garden. I saw my surprise before we even got to the table. He stood up, all smiles and excitement, and obviously dressed by Seung-hyun as well. When I reached the table, he lifted me off the ground in a tight hug and swung me around. “Ji-Yong! You are going to hurt yourself!” I said. He kissed my nose. “I’m fine. But not as fine as you!” he said and held me at arms length to look me over. “You are going to make me blush again,” I said. “So I found something else that makes you blush,” he said with a big teasing grin. “Shh…” I said and looked at Seung-hyun. “Don’t bother being secretive, Elizabeth,” said Seung-hyun. “You are one of the most modest people I’ve ever met. Big bananas make you blush.” I hid my face behind my hand, “Oh my gosh, Seung-hyun!” “See!” he said. “Can we just eat?” I said and sat in the seat that Ji-Yong held for me. When I was seated, Seung-hyun handed me a banana. Ji-Yong laughed. I wasn’t about to give them the satisfaction of my embarrassment. I very slowly peeled that banana, ran my tongue up the length of it, and nibbled the tip. Then, inch by inch I ate that banana. They both silently watched me, squirming a little in their seats, and there was no more laughing. When I was done, I handed the peel back to Seung-hyun and said, “Thank you. I was starving.” He took the peel and said, “Would you like another?” “Now that she’s had her potassium, I think she needs some other nutrients,” said Ji-Yong. “Just serve the damn omelets, Hyung.” “You’re no fun,” said Seung-hyun and served the breakfast around the table. I really was starving. “Seung-hyun said that we have a long day ahead. What are we going to do?” I asked Ji-Yong. “Well, I thought I would take you shopping. Then, Hyung has a party planned for tonight,” said Ji-Yong. “What are we shopping for?” I asked. Ji-Yong looked at me like he thought it was cute that I was clueless. Like I was a puppy with my ears pricked up. “For whatever you would like. I want you to buy whatever your heart desires. Clothes, jewelry, shoes, anything.” “But why?” I asked. “Because I want to,” said Ji-Yong. “I do have a slight ulterior motive though.” I waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t. “Which is what? “Our shopping excursion is going to be a bit of PR. You could say that we are going to show off for the paparazzi,” he said. “But why? I thought we wanted to keep a low profile,” I said. He took a bite of bread. “Ji-Yong has a solo project that he’s been working on,” said Seung-hyun. “He needs to be seen and talked about and most of all, photographed.” That made sense. “Isn’t it bad for you to be seen with me though?” I asked Ji-Yong. “Normally, yes, but sometimes it’s good to be seen dating. Since there was so much press before about my fight with Jiho over you, it will actually help me to be seen with you,” he said. I thought about that for a second. “Won’t that make Zico look bad though?” I could tell that it bothered him that I was protecting Zico. “No. Alicia leaked her pregnancy and engagement. So everyone knows that he’s with her.” The word engagement made my stomach sink. I couldn’t eat another bite. “I can’t let you buy me things,” I said. “Just imagine how jealous Alicia Wright will be when she sees the press,” said Seung-hyun. I did like the sound of that. “It will be fun,” said Ji-Yong. “You need to get used to it. I plan to spoil the hell out of you.” I fought a smile, but it won. “That’s better,” said Ji-Yong. “You aren’t doing this because I said you are ashamed of me are you?” I asked. “That did bother me,” he admitted. “Because it’s not true. I have been thinking about this for a few days though. So not really.” I turned to Seung-hyun. “You didn’t say anything about a party!” “I did so!” “You most certainly did not! I would have remembered that,” I said. “I told you about it the second day that you were at my house.,” he said. “How was I supposed to remember that? Much less know that was for tonight?” I said. Ji-Yong started laughing. “I have to stop letting you stay here,” he said. “You two fight like a married couple.” I looked at Seung-hyun who looked very amused and we both laughed. He looked at his watch. “If you two are finished, you had better get going,” he said. “Are we on a schedule?” I asked as Ji-Yong held my chair for me. “Well, it may have also been leaked anonymously that I was going to be in a certain part of town at a certain time today,” he said. I got up and stretched. “You guys are sneaky,” I said. “That’s the business,” said Seung-hyun.

I had never been in this part of town before. That’s because I could never afford anything in this section. Not even coffee. I went into shops that didn’t look like shops. They were more like art museums. If I wanted to see what an outfit looked like on someone, they had a model put it on and come out to show me. He was right. I felt like royalty, but guilty royalty. I kept wanting to apologize for being a bother. “You aren’t bothering them,” said Ji-Yong. “They get paid very well to be bothered.” “It just feels like too much,” I said. “That dress is still not going to look as good on me as it does her.” He kissed my cheek. “It’s going to look better.” Then he whispered, “One of my favorite things about you is your curves. All of them. I love that you don’t starve yourself into a stick figure. I love taking you to dinner and watching you actually eat.” Then he licked my earlobe. It was a quick flicker, but it made my whole body shiver. “I’ll take that dress,” I told the shop girl. We went to so many different shops that my head was spinning. He bought me clothes and shoes and lingerie. We went into a jewelry store and that was where I was going to put my foot down, but Ji-Yong managed to talk me into getting a tiny charm to go on my bracelet with the butterfly. I didn’t tell him that Zico had given it to me. He added a tiny pink pearl. “A pink pearl symbolizes success, fame, and good fortune,” he said. “Does everything have a meaning in Korea?” I asked. “Many things do,” he said. “Oh! I meant to ask you, what is your power animal?” He gave me a strange look. “What do you think?” “Um… a dragon?” I asked. “What else?” He smiled that beautiful smile of his. “What do you know about power animals?” Then he put his index finger in front of his mouth and said, “Wait! Seung-hyun took you to see Dong-Hyun didn’t he!?” “Yep!” I said. “Never take or drink anything that those two hand you. It never turns out well,” he said. “Well, I did find out my power animal is a butterfly,” I said. “Naturally,” he said and put his fingers through mine. “Then I had a wonderful nap and I was able to finish my all of the drawings for my collection,” I said. “I didn’t see any bad effects.” “You were lucky. I had nightmares for a week,” he said. I noticed that we didn’t actually stay around and pay for anything. He would tell the shop person that he would take it, and we would leave. “Ji-Yong?” “Yeah?” “Why aren’t we actually paying or taking anything that we pick? Is this all just for show?” I asked. He smiled without looking at me. “The company takes care of it, and everything will be sent back to my place.” “Oh,” I said. I felt like a dumb country bumpkin. Rich people really do have advantages that the rest of us don’t share. “Ji-Yong?” “Yes?” “Can we go into one more store? I want to get something for Marco,” I said. “Of course we can. Where do you want to go?” he asked. I pointed at a store and he gave me a skeptical look. “You want to get him something from in there?” I nodded. “Elizabeth, Kim Marco is a big hardened assassin. Why do you insist on treating him like a child?” he asked. “I don’t!” I said. “We have a special relationship. Marco has two sides, and he lets me see the other one.” “Oh alright,” he said. “Lead the way.” I took him into Build-a-Bear. I searched around until I found the perfect set of bears for him. One was a big brown bear. I had them put it in a black suit with a white shirt and black tie. They put a little gun on it’s side for me and a teddy bear piercing in it’s ear. Then I paired it with a smaller white bear. She wore a blue dress with tiny daisies on it and she had a crown. I tied their hands together with a red ribbon. While I was shopping, I lost Ji-Yong. When I had finished, I saw him talking to one of the shop girls. I went over to him and she smiled at me, bowed, and walked away. “Are you flirting with other women right in front of me, Ji-Yong?” I teased him. “I would never! I was just settling the bill,” he said. “I’m guessing that bear isn’t me.” “You can pretend that it is,” I said and smiled over at him. He shook his head, laughed, and put his hand on the small of my back to lead me out of the store.   He waited for me to get into the car before getting in himself. “About the party tonight, if you aren’t up for it, you and I can stay upstairs. Seung-hyun won’t care.” I rubbed the tattoos on his fingers. “Is it going to be like the last party?” He shook his head. “No, that’s his big party. This is a shisha party with only a few of his art world friends.” “Do you want to go?” I asked. “I’ve only been to one. It’s like hookah except Seung-hyun has a special formula made for his parties. It’s up to you. If you go I’m definitely going to be there. I don’t want you waking up with naked people that you don’t remember like he does.” We both laughed. “Ji-Yong.” I said. “Yeah?” “Dragons aren’t real,” I said. “Wanna make a bet?” he asked and winked. Putting his fingers under my chin, he lifted up my head and kissed me. It was a slow sweet kiss. “This one is.” I wouldn’t tell him, but Zico was much more of a dragon than he was. Ji-Yong seemed more like a big cat. Sensual, beautiful, and powerful. He had a quiet power. His presence commanded attention when he was in the room. People were drawn to him. I was drawn to him. He was magnetic.

Seung-hyun dressed me in a very sweet maroon dress with tiny white flowers. It had a sheer maroon overlay that swished a little when I moved. He left my feet bare. Ji-Yong wore a black sweater and jeans, while Seung-hyun looked amazingly sexy in a white button up shirt, black vest and striped tie. His gray slacks were shiny and skin tight. I didn’t mind that one bit. He had hired a caterer, and while the boys were busy talking, I snuck down to the dining room to eat. I was really hungry after all of that shopping. Marco had loved his bears! He kept them in the bed with him, and when the nurse tried to move them, he growled at her.   I didn’t know what a lot of the Korean dishes were, but there were hamburger and chicken sliders so I ate some of them. I had been hungry a lot lately. More so than normal. That’s when a scary thought came to me. Oh God! What if I’m pregnant? I tried to think back to when I knew I was definitely not pregnant, and I couldn’t remember. I didn’t have any other symptoms though. It’s probably just stress. I’m not going to panic until there is something to panic about. The doorbell rang. Seung-hyun stuck his head in the door and said, “Party time!” He wiggled his eyebrows at me which made me laugh. I smacked my hands together to get rid of the evidence, and went out to the pool. Ji-Yong seemed to be a part of the decorations. There were colorful lights and flowers floating in the pool as well as lights strung over our heads. He was laying in a lounge chair with his sunglasses on, looking perfect. He was scrolling on his phone. The shisha pipe was surrounded by big fluffy pillows. It was quite elegant, but it looked like a silver and blue octopus sitting in the middle of a colorful cloud. I went over and sat at Ji-Yong’s feet. He sat up and putting his hands on either side of my head, gave me a deep kiss. “You sure about this?” I nodded. “Look, we are big news already,” he said. He held up his phone and showed me pictures and articles of us shopping. I couldn’t read what they said, but I didn’t think I needed to. He told me they were very positive articles. A few girls were extremely upset, but overall, the comments were good. Most people were happy to see Ji-Yong happy. They also liked how well he treated his girlfriend. Seung-hyun brought his friends out to the party area and introduced me. He introduced them as friends, which wasn’t very helpful. One girl who already knew Ji-Yong took to me quickly. Her name was Yoo Ha-Joon and she was very sweet. She spoke English pretty well so I could actually talk to her. The rest of his friends didn’t and they mostly just smiled at me. I did the same. Seung-hyun opened the patio doors to the dining room and everyone began mingling. He was smart to put people together that had never met. I sat between Ji-Yong’s legs, leaned back against him, and watched everyone get to know each other. He kept putting his face into my hair and softly kissing my neck. It was driving me crazy. I was pretty sure how this evening was going to end, and I was fine with that. “Hungry?” asked Ji-Yong. “I am a little,” I said. I didn’t tell him I already had three sliders. “There is something I want you to try. It’s my absolute favorite, and I think you will love it,” he said. I wrinkled up my nose. “What is it?” “Ganjang gaejang,” he said. “Does that have intestines or octopus or something yucky in it?” I asked. He laughed and leaned down until he was right in my face. “Those things are delicious, which you would know if you would try them. And no. This is crab in soy sauce.” I frowned. “Don’t they cook crabs alive?” “Nope,” he lied and went off to make a plate. “Yes they do,” I mumbled to myself. “Who does what?” asked a gentleman who had just walked by to lean against the wall behind us. “Oh, sorry. I was talking to myself,” I said. He smiled and forked a carrot on his plate. “I do that all of the time,” he said. “And I answer myself. I always seem to know all of the right answers.” “That is a sign of insanity you know,” I said. I figured if he was going to be open then I could too. He laughed. “Really? I thought knowing everything was a sign of intelligence. Hm. That explains a lot,” he said. I didn’t know if he had misunderstood me or he was being obtuse on purpose. He came over to sit in the opposite lounge chair. Bowing his head slightly, he said, “I’m Gong Ji Cheol. You probably know me as Gong Yoo. You can call me Yoo if you would like. I know it’s easier for American’s sometimes.” “I’m Elizabeth. I’m sorry, but I’m not familiar with many pop stars here,” I said. He really laughed at that. “No,no. I’m an actor. But it’s okay. I’m actually glad.” “That’s what Ji-Yong said when I didn’t know him,” I said. He kept laughing and stuffed food in his mouth. “I bet that shocked him! Oh, you Americans! I just love you guys.” Should I be insulted? I never know here. Ji-Yong came over with our plate, and straddled the seat right behind me. “Hey,” he said to Gong Yoo. “Ji-Yong, this is…” I looked at the man because I had already forgotten his name. “I know Ji Cheol,” he said. “She doesn’t,” Yoo said. “She didn’t know me either,” said Ji-Yong. “That was the best thing about her.” Yoo stood up. Looking back as he walked away he said, “Not the best thing.” I looked back at Ji-Yong. “What did he mean by that?” I asked. He shrugged. “Try this,” he said and held out a pair of chopsticks holding crab. I looked at it with apprehension. It did look appetizing. “But they cook them alive,” I said. “They shoot cows when they are alive,” he said. “But that’s a fast death,” I said. “These crabs died fast, he said. “Besides, they are already dead. Should their sacrifice mean nothing? If we throw it out, they died for nothing when they could be nourishing our bodies.” Dammit! He has a point! “Alright. You are right,” I said and ate the food he held out for me. It was fantastic! “Crabs have tiny little brains,” he said. “They only have enough brain power to move, eat, and have sex. They don’t feel much pain.” He was making things up to make me feel better. It was very sweet. Our attention was drawn to the other side of the pool where a commotion was happening. “Oh no,” said Ji-Yong and laid his head on my back. “What’s wrong? Who is that?” I asked. A woman had just arrived who looked to be a younger than me, dressed in a glamorous black dress that was topped off with a purple and black top hat, and shiny purple stilettos that looked like something a dominatrix would wear. “It’s Savannah,” he said. “That tells me nothing,” I said. “Don’t worry,” he said against my back. “You’ll find out soon enough.” “She doesn’t look Korean,” I said. I felt him shake his head against my back. “No. She’s from Georgia. In America. Not the country. She’s an interior decorator friend of Seung-hyuns.” “Wait! Is she THAT Savannah? The famous one?” I asked. “The very same,” he said. “Oh gosh!” I said. “I’ve taken out subscriptions to decorating magazines because of her.” “Want to go inside?” he asked. “But I want to meet her,” I said. He sat up. “Then can I go inside?” I kissed his cheek. “You don’t like her?” “She’s great,” he said. “She’s just…after me.” It took a minute for his meaning to get through my dense head. “Ohhhh, okaaaay!” I said. I laughed. He laughed a little too. “It’s not funny!” he said through his cute grin. “That doesn’t bother you?” “It would,” I said. “But from your reaction, I don’t think I have much to worry about.” “You don’t,” he said. “Why don’t I?” I asked him. “She’s gorgeous!” He shook his head. “She is, but she has an idea that I can’t go along with.” “IS she a dominatrix?” I asked. “I mean her shoes…” “No,” he said. “She wants me and Seung-hyun at the same time.” The image came to me immediately, and I giggled. The thought actually did bother me a little.   “Stop laughing! It’s not funny. And it’s NOT going to happen. EVER!” he said. “Elizabeth!” I heard from across the pool. It was Seung-hyun. “Come over here.” I turned to Ji-Yong. “Come with me,” I said. “Please don’t make me,” he said. “If you go, I can establish my ownership,” I told him. “Ownership? I think you have that backwards,” he said and cocked his head to the side with a crooked grin. “If you say so,” I said. “Come on. I’ll protect you.” He stood up. “Oh, alright. But you’re going to regret it.” Then I heard him mumble under his breath, “Not as much as me.” We went over to where Seung-hyun sat with Savannah. He stood when we approached and he had a giant grin on his face. “Elizabeth, I would like for you to meet my friend, Savannah,” he said. She stood to shake my hand, and in her shoes, she was about two inches taller than me. “Elizabeth! Give me a hug!” She pulled me into a bear hug. “You are just as cute in person!” “You know me?” I said. NOW I was starstruck. “Of course! I watched every episode of Gold and Diamonds. You were my favorite! It’s very exciting to meet you!” she said. “I was telling Ji-Yong how excited I was to meet you! I never imagined someone like you would know me,” I said. She grabbed Seung-hyun by the arm. “Someone like me? How should I take that, Tabi?” “That’s a compliment,” he said and smiled at me. “She thinks highly of you.” I could tell she was from Georgia by her slight southern accent. She must live there, but she wasn’t born there, I thought. “It’s very much a compliment,” I said. “I have to admit that I’m a little starstruck.” “By me?” she said and laughed. “I’m a nobody. I know how to put furniture in a room is all. But you! You make people beautiful. You give them confidence and make them feel special.” “You are both brilliant!” said Seung-hyun. It was obvious he was trying to break up the butt kissing party Savannah and I had going. “I think it’s time to get this party started, now that the party is here,” he said indicating Savannah. She leaned around me, “Hi Ji-Yong. Don’t think I didn’t see you back there.” “Hi, Savannah,” he said and wrapped his arm around my middle. I turned and wrapped both of my arms around him. “Doesn’t he look absolutely delicious tonight?” I asked her. “He always looks delicious,” she said looking him up and down. And up and down. “Yes he does,” I said. “Almost as delicious as he tastes.” Ji-Yong’s eyes were huge. He was giving me a Hush! look but I couldn’t help myself. She grabbed my free arm as we walked over to the shisha pipe and said, “Please tell me that you have nibbled those tattoos.” “Every single one,” I whispered back. “Oh we are going to talk!” she said and took a seat on the pillow next to Seung-hyun. I could tell that I was going to like her very much. Ji-Yong sat on the opposite side and pulled me down onto his pillow. “What was THAT?” he whispered loudly. “That was staking my claim,” I said. “I don’t understand women,” he said. “Don’t try,” I whispered. Seung-hyun took one of the hoses and drew in a big breath. I watched as everyone else did the same. I noticed that Gong Yoo was staring at me. When our eyes met, he smiled at me and winked. I gave him a tentative smile back. After Ji-Yong was done, he handed his to me. I had no idea what to do. He let out his breath, and said, “Just breathe it in like you would take a big breath.” I had expected the air to be hot, but it wasn’t. It was actually cold. I looked closer and could see ice in one chamber of the pipe. I drew in another breath and it made me cough. Ji-Yong took it away from me. “Go slow with this stuff. It’s not normal shisha. I don’t know what it’s going to do to you.” We took turns for about fifteen minutes. That seemed to be long enough for whatever was in Seung-hyun’s special tobacco to get into our bloodstream. All of a sudden, I really wanted to touch Ji-Yong. All over. I wanted to run my hands through his hair, and run my hands down the silky heat of his back. I NEEDED to take off his pants. His clothes were irritating me. He stood up and said, “I need water.” Then he went into the house. A hand reached down for me to take. I didn’t pay attention to who the hand belonged to. It didn’t seem to matter. I put my hand in that strange hand and let the person lift me up. I was being pulled over to the pool. I knew this person, but I couldn’t remember his name. He slipped into the water and reached his arms up to me. I sat on the side of the pool and let him pull me in. He held me up, and I wrapped my legs around him. I remembered. It was Yoo. He settled himself against the wall of the pool. “Let go and float,” he said. With my legs still wrapped around his waist, I let go of his neck and allowed the rest of my body to float on top of the water. I closed my eyes. It felt like I was half on earth and half in the atmosphere. For a moment, I saw Seung-hyun standing over us and he was talking, but I couldn’t hear him. All I heard was bubbles from the water and music that was muted. Yoo began to run his hands over my thighs, and then upwards until he was stroking my sides and my stomach under my dress. The dress was floating around me in the water. When it floated over my skin it tickled, but in a wonderful way. Everything felt good. Evey touch seemed like a new sensation as if I was a newborn baby. Nothing was off limits. The ache in my chest was gone. My brain felt foggy, and I couldn’t concentrate on anything if I tried. All of a sudden, someone new was behind me. This person pulled me away from Yoo, and swirled me around to face them. It was Ji-Yong. He was saying things, but his words weren’t connecting. They weren’t making sense. I heard Yoo or it could have been You. I also heard him say Me and Mine and  Don’t. There were some other words, but they disappeared like haze on hot asphalt. He helped me onto the ladder and pushed me up and out of the pool. I felt heavy. My dress stuck to me, so I unbuttoned it and took it off. When he was finally out, I went to work taking off his sweater. It was soaked so it was hard to remove, but he helped me. When I tried to unbutton his pants, he took my hands in his, and said something else that I didn’t get. He put his arm around my wrist and pulled me behind him into the house. All the way there, hands were reaching out to me, touching my body and my hair. He took me into a room that I didn’t recognize. That didn’t mean that I hadn’t been in it before. I wasn’t recognizing anything. It didn’t even occur to me that I was walking around in my skimpy underwear in front of a bunch of strangers. It must have occurred to Ji-Yong, because he found a robe, and wrapped it around me. I loved it. It was silky and made my body feel like I was covered in butterfly wings. My foggy brain was getting worse instead of better. Everything that I was experiencing was disconnected. I was inside of a dream that didn’t hold together in any way. I saw Ji-Yong and then Seung-hyun. I was walking through a hallway. I saw Savannah who was also in her underwear. I thought that she must have been in the pool. I laid in a bed that was covered in white silk sheets. I was thinking that they were so white that they were blinding. The whiteness flew around the room. It reminded me of a storm of doves. In the whiteness I saw Yoo’s face. His beautiful dark hands surrounded my head and then he was kissing me. His tongue searched my mouth for a moment and then it was gone. The whiteness was gone and then replaced by darkness. I became afraid. I thought I had gone blind. I rubbed my eyes. In the darkness, I heard Seung-hyuns voice by my ear say, “It’s okay. You are in a safe place.” I was laying in a bed again and this time the light returned, but it was dim. I was beside Seung-hyun. We were both in our underwear. He was laying on his stomach, but facing me. He was still talking, but I didn’t hear the words. Arms came up from behind me and pulled me back against warm skin. I knew it was my Ji-Yong because I could see his tattoos. The three of us were going to sleep in the same bed and all of a sudden it was funny to me. I started laughing and I couldn’t stop. I asked Seung-hyun, “Isn’t this strange to you?” I saw his lips form the word “What?” “The three of us in bed together,” I said. “No,” he said and smiled at me. I rolled over to face Ji-Yong. His eyes were closed. It made me feel sleepy to look at him, so I closed my eyes and then I was asleep. When my eyes opened, I was still cloudy headed. Someone was shaking me awake. When I looked up, I was looking into the eyes of Zico. My body flooded with happiness. “I didn’t know you came to this party,” I said. I’m sure my words were slurred. “Come with me,” he said. I scooted down out of Ji-Yong’s arms and to the bottom of the bed. Zico put a jacket around me. I followed him until I was outside. The air was cooler than it had been. I became very interested in the feel of the soft paving stones against the bottom of my feet. That’s when Zico picked me up and carried me. I imagined I was flying. Looking up into his face, I said, “I think I became a butterfly.” “You’ve always been a butterfly,” he said. He sat me back on my feet and helped me sit down in his car. I must have fallen asleep in the car. The next thought I had was of floating because of the movement of an elevator. Then I was in bed again, but this time, the only one there was Zico. It was dark except for the moonlight flooding in the window, and I could see tattoos on skin, but these were different. These were Zico’s. I wanted nothing more than to run my finger over those dark lines. So I did. Zico flexed and stretched and rolled over to face me. His eyes opened slowly, and he said, “You shouldn’t touch me right now.” Those words meant nothing to me. I reached out to trace the letters across his chest, but he gently took my hand in his. “If you touch me, I’m going to want to touch you,” he said. I scooted over closer to him, and said, “Touch me.”   “I can’t do that. Not while you are under the influence,” he said. “I’m not drunk, silly boy,” I said and put my forehead against his chest. He froze. “Please don’t do this to me, Elizabeth.” I stuck my tongue out and ran it slowly across his nipple. It tickled my tongue. He rolled me over onto my back in a rush and held my hands against the bed by my head. He growled, “Stop it! I know this isn’t your fault, so I’m not mad. I want to stay in here with you, but if you don’t go to sleep, I’m going to go sleep on the couch.” I held my head up and flicked my tongue across his lips. He jumped away from me, and got out of the bed. “That’s it! Stay here and go to sleep. I mean it!” He grabbed a pillow and left the room. I watched shadows of leaves on the ceiling for awhile, and then I was finally asleep.

“Hi, Mya?” “Yes?” she said. “Hi! This is Elizabeth. I have a favor to ask of you,” I said. “Oh, hi! I thought that you had gone back to America,” she said. “No. No I’m still here. Is there any way that you could find some clothes for me to wear?” “Is everything okay?” she asked. “Yeah. It’s a long weird story,” I said. “It usually is with you,” she said. I heard her suck in her breath, because she hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “Usually,” I said. “I need to get back to my apartment, but I don’t have any clothes here to wear. Could you find something for me? I’ll get them right back to you.” “I’m pretty sure that I don’t have anything that will fit you, but my sister is visiting me. She might have something. She’s a pretty big girl.” Another sucking in of breath. “I would really appreciate it,” I said and ignored her insults. I knew that was Mya’s way. She was a little bit shallow, and judgmental. And she was right. I am a chubby girl. Also, Korean girls were so tiny. “Like I said, I’ll get them back to you. Today if you would like.” I listened as she talked to her sister in Korean. Coming back on, she said, “She would be happy to let you borrow something,” she said. “Tell her thank you, and that she is a life saver!” I said. “Are you in your old room?” she asked. “Yeah,” I said. “Alright. I’ll have them sent up to you,” she said. “Thank you again, Mya,” I said and we hung up. Problem number one solved. Now, I bet obstacle number two is waiting right outside my door. I looked out the peep hole, and all I could see was blackness. Opening the door, I ran into a wall. A giant wall that I found out was called, Park Sungho. Where does Korea find these giants? Do they grow them just to create problems for me? I told him that a package was going to be delivered shortly. He said that he would accept it for me. I closed the door, and went right back to the phone. I called the front desk again, and asked if they could call Kim Hwan for me. They did. He also answered in Korean. “Kim Hwan? This is Elizabeth, I said. “I am so glad to hear from you. Are you okay? I’ve been so worried,” he said. “I’m very sorry,” I said. “I’ll explain everything if you will come to get me.” “I will happily come to get you, Miss Elizabeth. Where are you?” I told him where to find me, and he said he would be here in just a few minutes. Problem number two solved, I thought. Park Sungho knocked on the door, and gave me the bag of clothes. I hurriedly put them on, and when Kim Hwan came to the door, I was ready to go. I was surprised to see Park Sungho getting on the elevator and leaving. “How did you do that?” I asked. Kim Hwan smiled. “We are very good friends. I told him that I am your usual bodyguard, and that I was here to take you home.” “Oh, so the truth. Who would have thought of that?” I asked and laughed. “It’s always the best way, Miss Elizabeth,” he said. Sighing, I said, “I really want to go home.” Turning from the door, he said, “After you.”

I told Kim Hwan the whole story on the way back to my apartment. He would smile every now and then, but mostly he shook his head. I knew he didn’t approve of most of my life, but he never said anything. Walking into my apartment felt like coming home after being on an extended vacation. I walked down to the couch and rolled over the top, bouncing into the seat. I laid there, my left arm and leg hanging over the edge, and enjoyed being alone and in my own element. I knew where everything was here. I could make messes, and walk around naked, and not worry about crazy hair or hairy legs. It was my little piece of Korea where I could just be myself, and not worry about what anyone else thought. At least that was what I thought. I noticed a bottle of Soju on my coffee table. I sat up quickly, and stared at it. I tried to remember the last time I was here, and how that could have been left there. I couldn’t remember. It was all a blur. Getting up and looking around, I started to notice some other things too. There was a towel laying on the kitchen table. When I touched it, it was a little damp. There were dishes in the sink. In the bathroom, a strange toothbrush was on my sink. That’s when I knew it was time to leave and get Kim Hwan. Going toward the door, I saw the strange pair of shoes by the door. I don’t know how I missed those before, I thought. My heart started pounding. That meant whoever had been using my apartment was here now. That’s when the bedroom door opened and I was confronted with my intruder. He had bright red hair and a swollen black eye. “Ji-Yong?” was all I managed to get out before he took three big strides and put his arms around me. He hugged me so tight that I couldn’t breathe. He just kept saying, “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” I put my arms around him when I was able to get them free, and just held him. I didn’t know why, but being in his arms felt much different than being held by Zico. His hugs felt like hugs. Zico’s hugs felt like being swallowed by a beast. You were consumed by him. Instead of letting go, he laid his head on my shoulder, and squeezed tighter. “Are you okay?” I asked. “No,” he said. “I’m so not okay.” I pushed against him to get him to let go. His skin was hot. He felt like he had a fever. “Let’s go sit over here and talk,” I said. He reluctantly let go and I pulled him over to the couch. He looked terrible. He was pale with deep dark circles under his eyes. He looked like he had been crying. His swollen eye was every shade of purple and worrisome. I laid back into the corner of the couch, and pulled his head down into my lap while he stretched out. I ran my fingers through his hair. He actually felt way too hot. He definitely had a fever. I also noticed a very large bruise across his lower back. It was more red than purple, and it looked really swollen. “Did you stay here last night?” I asked. “I’ve stayed here every night,” he said. “I wanted to come to Hyung’s house but he wouldn’t let me.” “That was my fault,” I said. He sat up all of a sudden and said, “No! Nothing is your fault. We put you in the middle, and it wasn’t fair.” “Listen to me,” I said. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You are the most innocent person in this whole crazy thing. I shouldn’t have gotten you involved in my weird life.” He was shaking his head. “You don’t know everything.” “Neither do you,” I said. “I know way more than you think,” he said. I didn’t know if I wanted to know anymore, but all of these secrets had messed up everything. Maybe it’s better if everything comes out. “Then let’s be honest with each other,” I said. He nodded and sat back on the couch. “I knew that you weren’t in love with me like I am with you. I knew you still wanted Woo Jiho,” he said. “I’m sorry,” I said. It came out in almost a whisper. This was going to be hard. “I knew he wanted you back too. I did some things that I shouldn’t have to make sure that didn’t happen,” he said. “What do you mean?” I said. I sounded like a little child and I hated it.   “I don’t want to tell you,” he said. “I won’t be mad. I did bad things too,” I said. “And I’m pretty sure that mine were worse.” “Promise you won’t be mad?” he asked. “I promise,” I said. I couldn’t ask the same because I knew my secrets had to be worse than anything he could have done. “Okay,” he said. He was stalling. “I…went through your phone all of the time and deleted texts and calls from him. Also, from any of his members.” “That’s it?” I asked. I was expecting something a little worse than that. “No, that’s not all. I took you to get that tattoo to mark you.” He turned his hand over, and on his wrist was a tiny purple butterfly that matched mine. “I don’t know if you noticed, but the design in the wings are a G and a D. Mine is an E and a G.” I looked closer and it was hard to tell, but it could be letters. “Okay,” I said. “That’s okay.” “Jiho sent you flowers. Twice. I sent them back,” he said. “Sometimes when he would text, I would text back and tell him to go to hell. He always knew it was me though. He would text back that I should stay off of your phone.” “None of those things are that bad, Ji-Yong,” I said. “I stole gigs from him,” he said. “If they could be stolen, then he didn’t deserve them,” I said. “Seems like that is just part of the business.” When it was my turn to tell my secrets, I chickened out. I was right. Mine were so much worse. I skirted the facts. “Zico and I met a few times,” I said. “You were right. He was here the night that everything blew up. Nothing happened but a nap. But he was in the bedroom. He also stayed that night that he was drinking.” “You don’t have to say anything,” he said. “I already know everything. Woo Jiho told me when we were in jail together.” I wondered how detailed he had gotten. “What all did he say?” I asked. “We took turns telling each other things to hurt the other. I didn’t let him know, but I think he won,” he said. “I’m so sorry, Ji-Yong. I never meant for you to get hurt. I really have tried to get over him,” I said. I was glad that I didn’t have to tell him what we had done. “I made the biggest mistake of all,” he said. “I think it was all down to unfortunate timing,” I said. “More than you know,” he said. “I had the opportunity to let you be my costumer when that television show was looking for someone. I was offered, and I turned it down. Then when I met you, I was sorry that I hadn’t accepted. It was too late.” “I didn’t know that,” I said. “Yeah,” he said. “When we talked, I was fascinated. When you said that you didn’t know who I was, I knew I had to get to know you. American’s don’t seem to be as obsessed with celebrity as Koreans.” “No, that’s just me,” I said. “They are. Celebrity just seems different here. More accessible.” “That’s just because you got your foot in the door,” he said. “It’s not accessible to everyone.” “So, I should be more starstruck than I am?” I said and smiled. “A lot more,” he said and actually laughed. “You are going to parties with huge stars. And then getting drunk and making yourself the center of attention. Not everyone could pull that off.” “That’s not a good thing, Ji-Yong!” I said. “You get a pass. You’re an American so you don’t know any better,” he said. My mouth fell open in shock. “Is that what everyone thinks?” He laughed. “Pretty much,” he said. “I guess you missed all of the news about our fight didn’t you?” “I didn’t even think about it,” I said. “Was it bad?” “It still is. I figured Seung-hyun wouldn’t tell you,” he said. That’s the moment when all hell broke loose. Again. Ji-Yong bent over and cried out in pain, and then he jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t know what had happened or what I should do. Running over to the door, I heard him vomiting over and over. It seemed like it would never stop. “Ji-Yong? Are you okay?” I knew it was a stupid question when I asked it, but I was nervous and I didn’t know what to do. The vomiting stopped as quickly as it had begun. I heard a thump on the floor. “Ji-Yong?” No answer. “JI-YONG?” I yelled louder. Still no answer. “JI-YONG! IF YOU DON’T ANSWER, I’M COMING IN THERE!” Nothing. I slowly opened the door and found him, unconscious but breathing, on the floor. Panicking, I ran over to sit by him. I put my hand on his chest and shook him gently. He was so hot that I could feel the heat coming from him before I touched him. I grabbed a washcloth and soaked it with cold water. I used it to wash his face, and then I folded it and laid it over his forehead. I ran to the bedroom to get my phone. I found it on my vanity, and I called 119 with shaking hands. I stayed on the phone with the english interpreter until the paramedics got there. He was still unconscious when they took him away, and they said I wasn’t going to be able to ride with him. I immediately called Kim Hwan, and he said he was turning around to come back to get me. When it was finally quiet in my apartment, I broke down. I burst out crying and fell to my knees. Huge sobs came from deep inside of me. After a few minutes, I didn’t have any tears left. I had just enough time to change my clothes and brush my hair when Kim Hwan texted me that he was there.

At the hospital, they wouldn’t tell me anything, but said that I could wait and someone would come and talk to me. I found more tears. I had brought Ji-Yong’s cell phone with me, but I didn’t know his password. I tried 1,2,3,4 but that didn’t work. I tried his birthday and that wasn’t it. Finally, I got around to trying my birthday because I didn’t know what else to try and it worked! Silly boy! I found the number for Seung-hyun and called him. “He answered with, “The answer is still no.” “Seung-hyun?” “Elizabeth? My God! I guess you found Ji-Yong. Are you okay?” he asked. “No, I’m not,” I said. “What? Why? Why are you calling on Ji-Yong’s phone? What’s going on?” He sounded worried. “Seung-hyun, I need you to come to the hospital. Something is wrong with Ji-Yong,” I said. I could hear him moving around and breathing hard. “Where in the hospital?” he asked. “Emergency,” I said. “Don’t you move! I’ll be right there!” Then he hung up. I had no intention of going anywhere. Kim Hwan reached down and took my hand. He squeezed it, and for some reason, I did feel a little better. I felt less like I was falling over the edge of a deep dark hole. Looking at my own phone, I knew that with every minute, I was putting off calling Zico. He was going to be upset that I left, and even more upset that I was here waiting for Ji-Yong. I decided to send a text. Maybe a miracle will happen and he won’t call me. Elizabeth: Jiho, I wanted to let you know that I am okay. Something happened to Ji-Yong and I’m at the hospital waiting to find out what is going on. Don’t worry about me. Seung-hyun is coming up to help me. I’ll call you later to fill you in. I hit send, squeezed my eyes shut, and hoped against hope that he would let me deal with this on my own. Bzzzz…bzzzz…bzzzz… Dammit Zico! I considered hitting ignore, but he would just come up here in a fury, and cause trouble. I hit answer. “Jiho,” I said. “I told you that I was going to call you later.” “THE HELL IF I’M GOING TO LET YOU AROUND THAT LUNATIC AGAIN!” he said. He sounded more than furious. “WHERE ARE YOU EXACTLY?” “I’m at the hospital, but I have Kim Hwan…” I started to say when he interrupted. “WHERE IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL?” “Emergency,” I said. “Please, please, please don’t come up here and cause trouble, Zico.” “Elizabeth, I’M NOT THE ONE WHO IS TROUBLE!” I could tell that he was fighting to calm himself down. “Listen! I’m not going to cause trouble. BUT if he says ANYTHING I don’t like, we are leaving! I’ll be there in a couple of minutes,” he said and hung up on me. I squeezed Kim Hwan’s hand and waited for the alpha macho madness to begin.

Seung-hyun came in first. He must have been out because he was dressed in a crisp blue suit. He hugged me as Kim Hwan watched with a bit of suspicion. “I’m so sorry Seung-hyun,” I said. “I hate that I got you mixed up in any of this.” “Don’t you dare! You have nothing to apologize for! There are a lot of misunderstandings. That’s all,” he said. “I’m still sorry,” I said. “No more of that! I’ve contacted Ji-Yong’s family and they should be here shortly. Have you heard anything?” he asked. I sat down and indicated the seat beside me for Seung-hyun to sit in. “No, they said someone would come out and talk to us, but no one has come out yet,” I said. Ji-Yong’s family came in then. I had never met them, and I didn’t want this to be how we were first introduced. “Please don’t tell them who I am, Seung-huyun. Just tell them that I’m a friend.” He nodded and stood to greet them. They all went to the desk together to ask about Ji-Yong, and they must have been told to wait because they went to the other side of the room to sit together. Zico came in next. He found me immediately and came over to sit beside me. He gave Seung-hyun several mean glances, which he completely ignored. He didn’t even look our way. “So, what is going on?” he asked. “I don’t know yet,” I said. “What happened to him?” he asked. I was surprised at the concern. “He had a really high fever, and then he started being sick. He just kept throwing up and then he passed out.” “Where was this?” he asked. “At my apartment,” I said. He grabbed my hand and squeezed a little too hard. I thought that might have been on purpose. “What was he doing there?” he asked through gritted teeth. “What were YOU doing there?” “I went to change, and well, I live there,” I said. “Not for long,” he said. I gave him a look, but he didn’t look at me. “And…?” he said. “And that’s it. I wanted to be home,” I said. “No… Why was he there?” he asked. “Oh, he was already there when I got there,” I said. “I think he was staying there while I was away.” He started shaking his head and rubbing his eyes with his thumb and finger. He was trying to contain his anger. “Well,” he finally said, “That’s going to change in the next couple of days.” “Oh?” What does that mean?” I asked. “That means you are coming home,” he said. I bit my bottom lip. I am NOT going to start an argument here! “I’m sure that Alicia is going to love that. Maybe we can collab on a fashion line,” I said sarcastically. “I don’t give an unholy fuck what Alicia thinks. That bitch ruined my life. If she wants to live in my house, she will do it my way,” he said. “What about me?” I said. “Why do I have to do it your way?” “Because your way doesn’t work. It makes me unhappy,” he said. “It makes you unhappy too.” That’s when the doctor decided to make his appearance. He passed us and went to Ji-Yong’s family. He was speaking softly in Korean. “What is he saying, Jiho?” I asked. I was afraid because the doctor was being so gentle. That usually meant something really bad was going on. “He said he has a renal haematoma,” he said. “What’s that?” I asked. Zico stood up and pulled me over to where they were talking. They gave us a strange look, but Zico didn’t seem to care. The doctor kept talking and when he was done, he turned to us. Zico introduced us as friends of Ji-Yong, and then asked him a question in Korean. The doctor looked down and shook his head slightly. Then he put his hand on Zico’s shoulder and said something I couldn’t understand. Why haven’t I learned Korean by now? I thought to myself in aggravation. The family followed the doctor through the door but Zico took me back to the seats. Seung-hyun followed us. “But… but… why aren’t we able to go in?” I asked. We sat down where we had sat before and he patted my hand as he held it. “Ji-Yong isn’t doing very well so they are letting the family go back to be with him. We can go in a little while,” he said. That really scared me. I turned in my seat to face him. “What? Why? What does that mean? He’s going to be okay isn’t he?” I started to cry. Seung-hyun spoke up. “It’s okay Elizabeth. He’s going to be just fine. That boy is really strong, No beat down by this punk is going to stop him.” Zico just looked down guiltily. “What does he mean, Zico?” I asked. “What is a renal haematoma?” Seung-hyun answered again. “He has a bruised kidney. There is a little tear and it’s bleeding a little. It gave him an infection because he is too hard headed to bring himself to the hospital.” “Was that from the fight?” I asked again to Zico. He finally looked up at me. “Yeah. I remember hitting him in the back. It’s my fault,” he said. “I remember when I hit him, he went down on one knee and didn’t get up for a minute. Then he stood up, and punched me in the face. I didn’t know he was hurt that bad.” “It’s not just your fault Woo Jiho,” said Seung-hyun. “It’s my fault too,” I said. “That’s not what I meant, little one,” he said. Zico gave him a strange look. “It was just as much Ji-Yong’s fault as it was Jiho’s. He went there looking for a fight, and he got one.” I couldn’t help but cry even harder. “It is my fault Seung-hyun! I never should have come to Korea. I never should have gotten personal with anyone. I was here to do a job. I should have done my job and went home.” Zico grabbed my face by the chin and jerked it toward him. “Don’t you ever let me hear you say that again! Seung-hyun is right! It’s mine and Ji-Yong’s fault! Meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me! Ji-Yong would probably say the same thing! This is NOT your fault! Do you understand me?” I was still crying, but I nodded, and Zico pulled me against his shoulder. The four of us just sat there in silence until an hour later when the family came out. His mom had been crying. His Dad came over to Seung-hyun and they talked for a minute. They left and Seung-hyun said that we could go back for a few minutes. When we got to Ji-Yong’s room, Zico stood outside the door and looked in. Seung-hyun walked in first, but the first thing Ji-Yong said was, “Elizabeth! Are you okay?” I went to him, and he reached for my hand. “Am I okay?,” I asked and started crying again. “No! You really scared me!” “I’m sorry, baby,” he said and kissed my hand. “I”m okay. And I guess we should be glad that you came home when you did. I probably would have died.” I hadn’t thought of that. “Are you really okay?” He smiled and nodded. “Jiho can’t kill me that easily,” he said and laughed. “JIHO! Come in here!” I could tell that he didn’t want to, but he came inside the door. “Come on over here,” said Ji-Yong. Seung-hyun and I gave each other worried looks. Zico walked over and stood on the other side of the bed. “I guess you won this round,” said Ji-Yong and laughed. “I’m really sorry,” said Zico. “No you aren’t,” said Ji-Yong. “But that’s okay. It could have just as easily been you lying here.” “You know better,” said Zico. They both laughed. I looked at Seung-hyun, and he stuck out his bottom lip and shrugged. “But, I really am sorry. I didn’t want this,” said Zico. “I know. I guess next time we will just have to sue each other,” said Ji-Yong. “Ayy, you’ll win that one,” said Zico. “You better believe it! I’ll take everything you have,” he said. “You already tried that,” said Zico and looked at me. Ji-Yong looked at me too. “Listen,” said Zico. “She’s had a pretty hard day and you need to rest so I’m going to take her home. She’ll be back tomorrow.” Ji-Yong was still looking at me. He kissed my hand again. “Promise that you’ll come back first thing?” “I promise,” I said and kissed his head. He was considerably cooler than he had been before. I felt a lot better seeing him awake and smiling. “No more crying!” he said. I shook my head and smiled as I ran my hand through his hair. Zico came over, took my arm, and pulled me toward the door. “I love you, Elizabeth, “ yelled Ji-Yong. I rather thought he had done that more for Zico’s sake than mine. “Love you too,” I yelled back. “Get some rest!” Zico jerked me out the door. We walked down the hall quickly as if Zico couldn’t get out of the hospital fast enough. When we passed Kim Hwan, he said, “You can have the rest of the day and tomorrow off!” and kept walking. “Was that entirely necessary?” asked Zico when we reached the parking lot. I was still trying to keep up. “I do love him, Jiho,” I said. He stopped dead and turned and I ran into him. He glared down at me. “You do huh?” “I do. Just not in the same way as I love you,” I said. “He’s been very good to me.” “You think so huh?” “He has. He told me about the things he had done to keep us apart. They didn’t work. I’m standing right here holding your hand aren’t I?” I asked. He put his hand on the back of my head and gave me a deep kiss. Then, he turned and kept pulling me toward his car. “You can love him like a brother,” he said.

Zico took me to my apartment and told me to pack a bag. “Jiho, I don’t think this is a good idea,” I said. He didn’t say anything and just waited for me to unlock the door. I opened the door. I had no intention of packing a bag when I had a perfectly good apartment to stay in. There was no reason for me to go and stay in that hotel knowing that Zico was right above me with Alicia. Going to the refrigerator, I grabbed a bottled water. “Want one?” I asked. Zico was walking around the apartment looking at things. He just shook his head. “What exactly are you looking for?” I asked and went to sit on the couch. “Just looking,” he said. “Shouldn’t you be packing?” “I’m not going over there, Jiho,” I said. He came over and took both of my hands, gently pulling me to my feet. He took my face in his hands and said, “Please do as I ask and I promise you won’t be disappointed.” I really didn’t want to, but I found it hard to look into his eyes and say no. “Alright,” I said and reluctantly went to pack a bag. When I came out, he was standing in front of the windows. “Did you know that you can see the hotel from here? You could probably see into my room if you had a telescope,” he said. “Hmm, no. I didn’t realize that,” I lied. He turned and smiled. “I could have been spying on you this whole time, and I didn’t even know it,” he said. Walking over to him and dropping my bag, I said, “Maybe you should pay more attention.” He kissed my forehead. “I hope Alicia doesn’t know that,” I said. “As far as I know,” he said picking up my bag, “she doesn’t know where you live.” “I wouldn’t count on it,” I said. “Come on,” he said. “I’m really excited to show you something. I did a thing.” Oh no, I thought. Sometimes Zico’s ‘things’ turned out to be something I really didn’t need in my life. I sighed. “Okay, but I’m telling you right now, if you think that I’m staying anywhere near Alicia, you had better think again!” “I wouldn’t do that to you,” he said.

When Zico was driving, you were never sure if you were going to make it to your destination or not. It was a toss up. He didn’t know the meaning of the word slow, or any of the traffic laws it seemed. Or he just didn’t think that they pertained to him. He did seem to have this weird god complex sometimes. Okay. Most of the time. But that’s what makes him Zico instead of Jiho. Thank goodness we only drove for about ten minutes when he pulled into the parking lot of a building I didn’t recognize. “We aren’t going to meet someone are we?” I asked. “I’m really tired, Jiho. I’m not up to being hospitable right now.” “No. We aren’t meeting anyone. I have gift for you. Two actually,” he said. “Jiho! You don’t have to give me anything,” I said as he helped me out of the car. “Well, one of these is a selfish gift, and it’s a gift for me too,” he said. Getting into the elevator, Zico put a key into a keyhole that was over the buttons and the elevator began to move. “Where are we?” I asked looking up at him. He started smiling. “You’ll see,” he said. When we reached the top, the doors opened to a bright corridor. There was a set of Japanese looking paper doors and a little rack for shoes. On the bottom shelf was a row of different colored house slippers. We changed our shoes and then Zico asked, “Are you ready?” Since I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t know if I was ready. “I’m probably not,” I said. “But let’s do it anyway.” He opened the sliding doors. I wasn’t ready. Zico didn’t say anything, but he had a little boy grin on his face that screamed excitement. His eyes twinkled, and they never left my face. I knew he was looking for a certain reaction from me, but I wasn’t exactly sure what I was looking at. I walked into a huge luxury apartment. It was bright and gorgeous. The entire front wall was floor to ceiling windows something like mine, but bigger and they faced the river. The walls were all white and the floor was a light colored wood. The furniture was also white with accents of gray. A gray rug, gray pillows, and purple flowers on the coffee table. A television covered one whole wall, and a staircase wound out of sight.   “Who’s apartment is this, Jiho?” I asked. “Come here,” he said and took me around the corner where there was a long wooden dinner table. Beyond that was a kitchen that seemed to have every gadget that you could imagine. We went past the long island and into a hallway. On one side was a big master bedroom with a king sized bed. It wasn’t an Alaskan king, but it was still bigger than a person needed. There was a smaller bedroom across the hall. The next room was a small library with at least ten empty bookcases. There was a fireplace and two very comfortable looking chairs. On the other side was an office. It had a desk on either side of the room that faced each other. The bathroom was at the end. It was actually three rooms in one. There was a section for the shower that took up a whole wall and was enclosed by glass. Another section had a giant jacuzzi tub, and the third section was a closet. Each side was big enough to hold enough clothes for a family instead of one person. There were even benches to sit on and two giant mirrors on each wall. We made our way back around to the living room.   “Upstairs there is a game room, a bar, a pool, and a rooftop garden,” he said. “So what do you think?” “It’s incredible,” I said. “Who’s apartment are we in?” “Ours,” he said. I just blinked at him. “That’s what I was doing this morning. This is ours. I bought it,” he said. “What do you mean ‘Ours’?” I asked. “I mean, this is where we live now,” he said. “But I have an apartment,” I said. I wasn’t really comprehending what he was saying. “Yes. You have this one,” he said. “I bought out your lease. We have until the end of October to move you in here. I think we can do that in a couple of days though,” he said. “You got rid of my apartment without asking me?” I said. “I didn’t think you would mind. I mean, look at this place,” he said. “Come on, baby.” He came over and put his arms around me. “Tell me that you don’t want to be with me everyday. To go to bed with me. Wake up beside me. I know that I don’t want to live another day apart from you.” “That’s all I’ve wanted,” I said. “But what about your girlfriend?” “You are my girlfriend,” he said. “You know who I mean,” I said. “She can live in the hotel,” he said. “I still pay for everyone’s rooms there. She is just another employee as far as I’m concerned.” “Don’t you think she’s going to have a problem with you never coming home again?” I asked. He gave me a quick peck on the mouth. “I’m taking care of that problem. Don’t you worry about it. I’m all yours,” he said. “Are you all mine?” “I’ve always been yours. Remember?” I said. The smile on his face was as bright as fifty suns. “I have something else for you too,” he said and reached for a little silver box on the coffee table. Instead of giving it to me to open, he took out the delicate little gold bracelet that was inside, and put it around my wrist. It was so tiny that I couldn’t feel it on my arm except for the flutter of the tiny butterfly charm that hung from it. “Oh my gosh, Jiho. I love it! It’s so perfect,” I said and kissed his cheek. I held out my arm to admire it. “That’s just the first of the many things I’m going to give you,” he said. “You will be dripping in gold and diamonds.” “Oh, Jiho,” I said.   He kissed me and then said, “I tell you what. You order us some food. Whatever you want. As much as you want. The address is over on the counter. I’m going to go and pack some of my own things, and I’ll be back. Put on the t.v. or the stereo. Whatever you want. Make yourself at home. Because you are at home. And now I am too,” he said. He gave me another heart stopping kiss and then left me wanting more. I listened to the elevator drop, and then it was silent. When it was quiet in my other apartment, it was a warm silence. It was comfortable. This was different. This was a little eerie. Maybe it’s because it isn’t decorated. There isn’t any evidence of life here yet. I took my time and walked around, looking for light switches and plug ins. I turned on the t.v. That helped some. The sound and light warmed the place up some. It was a little easier to imagine living here. That’s when it really hit me. Zico BOUGHT us an apartment. I’m living with Zico. I got what I wanted. He’s mine again. ALL MINE! I have my job back. I have a beautiful home. And I have the man of my dreams! I knew I still had the problem of Ji-Yong, but he was going to have to accept that my heart belongs to Zico. I never wanted to hurt him. Ever! I was an idiot for dating someone when I was still in love with another man. I shook my head. I’m not going to think of that now. I went into the kitchen. When I saw the address on the counter I remembered that I was supposed to order food. When I called, I started to order Soju to go with our food, but I thought better of it. We both need to drink less, I thought. I ordered soda.

The food came before Zico came back, and I was starting to get worried. It shouldn’t have taken him that long. I tried calling him but it went to voice mail after a few rings. That made me worry more. I called twice more with the same result. I didn’t know what to do so I decided to give him another fifteen minutes. That’s when I noticed what was on the t.v. I had the sound down low, and I hadn’t been paying attention to what was playing. A breaking news story was interrupting some drama that had been on. I turned the sound up when I saw Alicia Wright on the screen. A news anchor was saying something about her in Korean. They were showing video of her at fashion shows and on television. Then they cut to a live feed of her standing on the outside of the balcony of Zico’s room at the hotel. A helicopter must have been used to get such close ups of her hanging there threatening to jump. She was wearing a short silk nightgown that was rippling in the wind. Her hair was blowing around her face and neck. Her makeup was smeared across her face, and tear streaks ran down her cheeks. I could see Zico surrounded by police in the doorway behind her. He was yelling something to her, but there was no sound. I knew she wouldn’t take it well, but damn! I felt cold hearted, but I couldn’t help but think that she had no intention of jumping. This was Alicia’s theater and she played her part perfectly. She knew if she became the victim that it would make Zico look bad, and he would have to do what she wanted. I wondered if he walked away, if she would actually jump. The longer I sat there and watched, the more fed up I got. I was mad. NO! I WAS FURIOUS! And I wasn’t going to sit there, and allow her to pull this nonsense anymore. I called a taxi.

When I got there, they didn’t want to let me in, but I told them that I was a regular guest and had nothing to do with what was going on, and they let me through. I didn’t even need a key to get up to the room. They had it open so that the police could come and go unrestricted. By the time I got to Zico’s room, I was in full battle mode. I ignored everyone who said something to me. I walked right past everyone, pushed Zico to the side, and went straight to where Alicia was hanging. Through my anger, I could only hear a muted version of all of the voices that were yelling things at me. I put my hands in her long blond hair, twisted those tatted up strands around my fingers, and yanked. I pulled as hard as I could, and she came right back over the railing. She fell onto the balcony, but I didn’t let go. I started pulling her backwards into the room. No one tried to stop me. They stood there watching in shock. She was screaming and rolling around trying to get away from me, but there was nowhere she could go. I had had enough! I didn’t care if I was arrested or even if she kicked my ass. She wasn’t coming out of this one unscathed! When we were fully in the living room, I pulled her up by her hair. She screamed like a banshee. I finally let go, and she turned on me. I dodged her claws and swung my fist as hard as I could at her head. I connected. It seemed like I was watching her head fly back in slow motion. I took that moment to throw my other fist into her stomach. I expected her to go into overdrive, and let me have it. Instead, she fell to her knees and grabbed her stomach. I knew I hadn’t hit her that hard even though I had tried. Then she went to the lowest place that she could go. She looked up at Zico with her raccoon ringed eyes and cried out, “Jico! Our baby!”

They took her away in an ambulance. Zico didn’t want to go, but I told him that he should. At least until we found out if she was telling the truth. They wanted to arrest me. Zico told them that he and Alicia wouldn’t press charges. I watched him get into the ambulance and ride away with my nemesis. There is no way that she is pregnant. It’s another chess move. Just like the balcony. Instead of going back to the apartment, I went to see Kim Marco. I sat down and held his hand, and told him what I had just done. I always told Marco all of my secrets. I told him that somewhere in this hospital was Zico and Alicia. There was also Ji-Yong. My entire Korean life was gathered in one place. “I finally got what I wanted, Marco. I never should have let him go back there. I should have seen trouble coming. What am I going to do if she is having his baby? That will crush me,” I told him. I sat for a little while longer and held his hand and cried. That’s when it happened. I thought I felt Marco squeeze my hand. It can’t be. I sat very still. There was nothing. An idea came to me. “Marco,” I said. He squeezed my hand. I jumped up and screamed, and the nurse came running in. I tried to tell her that he squeezed my hand, but I was too excited, and she didn’t speak English. Finally, she ran and got a doctor, and I was able to tell him. He told me that he was going to set up tests to see if Marco might be coming out of his coma. He told me that it would be best for me to go home and come back in the morning. I didn’t want to, but if it was best for Marco, I would leave and let them work. I kissed his cheek, and promised to come back in the morning. There was still an hour before visiting hours were over. I decided to go up to see Ji-Yong. He was asleep when I reached his room, so I pulled a chair over to his bed, and laid my head down beside him. I must have drifted off a little because when I opened my eyes again, he was running his fingers through my hair. I didn’t sit up right away. I laid there and enjoyed his touch. He started to whisper things. I should have let him know that I could hear him, but I didn’t. “I don’t want to lose you,” he said as he stroked my hair. “It’s killing me. I know you are going to choose him. I would do anything to keep you. I would treat you like a queen. Even better, but I want you to be happy. I’m not going to confuse you anymore. I always knew that you wanted him, and that he wanted you. That night that you were poisoned… I didn’t stay. To be fair, we had just started dating, but when I came back the next day, he was there asleep on the couch. He stayed the whole time. I picked up two of his jobs because of that. That’s also when I knew that he wasn’t going anywhere.” I pretended to ‘wake up’. I yawned and stretched, and then I smiled at him. “I’m so glad you are awake,” I said. “You too,” he said with a soft little laugh. “I have had a crazy day,” I said. “Bad crazy or good crazy?” he asked. I took his hand in both of mine. “I should have stayed in bed,” I said. “If you had, I might not be here,” he said. I kissed his hand. “Nah. You aren’t going anywhere.” He wrapped his fingers around my thumb. My phone buzzed. “I’m going to step out here and take this,” I said. “You can answer it here,” he said. “It’s okay.” I picked it up. “Hello?” “Hey,” said Zico. He didn’t sound happy. “Where are you? We need to talk.” My stomach dropped. “I’m visiting Ji-Yong,” I said. He was silent for almost a full moment. “Can you meet me in the lobby?” he asked finally. “I’ll be down there in a few minutes,” I said. “Are you okay?” “No,” he said and hung up. “I have to meet Zico in the lobby,” I told Ji-Yong. “I think I’m about to get some very bad news.” He rubbed my cheek with the back of his hand. “It’s going to be okay,” he said. I kissed his hand again and smiled at him. I didn’t want him to know that I felt like dying. I was already pretty sure what Zico was going to tell me. Standing up I said, “I’m coming back in the morning. You go back to sleep. I want you well enough to go home tomorrow.” “Yes, ma’am,” he said. As I walked to the door, he said, “Listen. Don’t go home alone tonight. I’m going to call Hyung to come and get you.” “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I said. “You just said you might get bad news. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m pretty sure it concerns Zico. I don’t want you alone tonight. Don’t argue with a sick man,” he said. “Okay. You win. Thank you Ji-Yong,” I said and left. I dreaded seeing Zico. I didn’t want to hear what he had to tell me. I was about to hit the lobby button in this elevator and lose everything that was important to me. But I couldn’t hide in here forever. I had to grow up and face the bad things in life eventually. It might as well be tonight. I hit the button.

I got to the lobby before Zico. I stood looking out the windows when I felt his arms fold around me. The warmth of his body soaked into me from behind, and I leaned my head back against his shoulder. We stood there and swayed without saying a word. Finally, I turned around and looked up at him. He was crying. “I’m sorry it took so long,” he said. “We had to wait for her doctor to get here. She wouldn’t see anyone else.” “What did he say?” I asked. Better to rip the band aid off fast. “She’s almost three months along,” he said. “She assured me that she was on birth control. I kind of think she did this to trap me. I think she quit taking it.” I couldn’t speak. I wouldn’t know what to say if I could. I was numb all over. “I don’t know what to do now,” he said. “I can’t stand her, but I can’t leave my child without a father.” I still couldn’t speak. “She said that if I leave her, she wouldn’t let me see the baby. Ever. She would sue for support and move back to the U.S.” Hot tears spilled over my lower lashes and down my cheeks. I felt like my heart had already stopped and my body just hadn’t fallen yet. I had no intention of saying anything.   “I want you to go back to our apartment and just stay there,” he said. “I have to figure things out. And I will. I just need some time.” With his ever perfect timing, Seung-hyun walked through the doors. He took one look at us and went over to sit and wait. All I could do was shake my head. “What does that mean?” asked Zico. I assumed he hadn’t seen Seung-hyun. I still couldn’t speak. My mouth wouldn’t work. There was nothing in my head. Before, I had always had hope. Even when he seemed happy with Alicia. Now, I had lost everything. There was no getting around this. I gained and lost everything in the same day. “Elizabeth! Say something! You are scaring me!” Zico shook me a little. That’s when Seung-hyun decided it was time for him to step in. He stood up, straightened his jacket, and came over to where we were standing. Zico stepped back a little. “What in the hell are you doing here?” “I’m here to take Elizabeth home,” he said. “I’ll have my car take her home. She doesn’t need you,” said Zico. “Look, Jiho,” said Seung-hyun. “I don’t know what is going on here, and I know that you think I have some ulterior motives when it comes to Elizabeth, but I only want to make sure she is safe. She can’t be alone tonight. That’s clear. She is safe with me. Let me take her home, put her in bed, and you can call her in the morning. I’m sure she will be doing better then.” Zico looked from me to Seung-hyun. “Is this what you want, Elizabeth?” he asked. I nodded. I really didn’t want to be alone tonight. Seung-hyun was my other safe place. It seemed like the hardest thing in the world for him, but Zico agreed. “Keep your phone on you at all times!” he said. “If I call, and you don’t answer, I’m coming to get you!” To Seung-hyun he said, “Don’t you dare give her anything! I’ll have your ass thrown in jail again!” Seung-hyun took me by the hand, and without saying another word to Zico, he took me outside and helped me into his car.

During the night, I couldn’t sleep. I lay there listening to Seung-hyun’s breathing and wishing that it was Zico. My heart was aching. I knew that I had completely lost him this time. She had won. There was no depth that was too low for her to go to to get what she wanted. I felt Seung-hyun move behind me. Then I felt him get out of the bed. I thought he was going to the bathroom, but then I saw him walk past a window. The moonlight was so bright that I could just make out his form moving around the room. He reached out and touched something on the wall. What in the world is he doing? Then, he turned and came back toward the bed. He was making a soft strange sound. It was almost like a hum. He bumped into the bed, and just stood there looking at me. He was looking but I didn’t think he was seeing. In a low scary voice, he said, “I knew you were hiding there.” I didn’t know what he was talking about. “I’m not hiding,” I said. He climbed up on the bed on the far side and started slowly crawling toward me. “You thought you could hurt me, and get away with it?” “What are you talking about, Seung-hyun?” I said. I was getting scared. He raised up on his knees and yelled, “YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM ME! YOU CAN’T HURT ME! I WILL KILL YOU!” Falling back down on his hands, he started crawling faster toward me. I kicked at the sheets to get them off of me, but they were wrapped around my legs. He grabbed my ankle, and I screamed. I turned onto my belly to try to pull myself away from him, but he pulled me toward him, and turned me onto my back. He fell on top of me and grabbed my wrists, holding me down. “Seung-hyun! Please wake up! It’s me. It’s Elizabeth! Please don’t hurt me!” “DON’T LIE TO ME! You can’t hurt me anymore! You’re dead!” he said. “SEUNG-HYUN! STOP IT!” Nothing I did worked. He started biting me. Hard. He bit my collarbone, my shoulder, my breast, and my neck. I screamed and he still didn’t wake up. I got my hand loose and I did the only thing I could think of. I hit him. When he sat up, I smacked him across the face as hard as I could. That woke him up finally. He looked around like he was stunned and had no idea where he was. Looking down at me and holding his face, he realized that something was wrong. “Elizabeth?” “Get off of me!” I said. He moved and let me up. “What’s going on?” he said and sat back still rubbing his face. “You were having a nightmare,” I said and scooted away from him. I saw the moment that realization hit him. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry. I didn’t hurt you did I?” He got off of the bed and going to the other side, he turned on the light. His face changed to panic. “What did I do? Come here!” I was almost afraid to, but I scooted over to him anyway. He reached out and gently pushed my head over to the side. “Oh Jesus! I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. Come with me,” he said. We went into the bathroom. He picked me up and sat me on the counter. Then he went to a closet where he brought out bandages and anti-bacterial cream. “I’m so sorry,” he said again. “I thought I was over all of that.” He ran a washcloth under the faucet and softly wiped at my neck. It hurt! When he laid the cloth down I saw that it was bloody. I raised my hand to touch my neck, but he stopped me. “Don’t touch,” he said. He put cream on me and several bandages. “I don’t know why I did this again. I guess it could be stress. I would put you in another room, but I don’t think you should be alone. So listen to me.” He got right up into my face. “If I get up and I don’t answer you, get away from me fast. Run out of the room and lock yourself in the bathroom. Understand me?” I nodded. “Don’t come out until I say the word peppermint. Okay?” I nodded again. “I really am sorry. I don’t know what made me sleep walk again. I haven’t done that for years,” he said. I had calmed down. “I’m okay. Just a little jangly,” I said. “I know just what we need,” he said holding out his hand. I took it and we went down to the kitchen. He picked me up and sat me on a stool at the counter. It was weird that he kept doing that like I was a child. Maybe he sees me that way. I watched him walk around the kitchen in his very form fitting black boxer briefs as he opened cabinets, pulled out glasses, and grabbed a pitcher from the refrigerator. The man had a near perfect form. I never saw him work out but I knew he had to. No one was naturally that fit. “Tonight you will try my lemonade,” he said. “Actually, it’s Limoncello. You might not like it but it will help us both sleep. He poured the bright yellow liquid over a few ice cubes in wine glasses, because he was extra like that, and handed one to me. I hesitated. I really didn’t like lemon. “Don’t smell it. Just drink it. Hold your nose if you have to,” he said. I did as I was told as I always did when it came to Seung-hyun. There wasn’t that much in my glass so I just downed the whole thing. Then I coughed. A lot. He didn’t pay attention to my distress. It was like he expected it. “Quite a few years ago, I went through a bad patch. That’s when the sleep walking started. Well, for the second time. Apparently, I would do it as a small child too. I tried all kinds of therapy and medicines. One night it just stopped, and I haven’t done it again. Until tonight,” he said. “The other night you had a nightmare,” I said. “The first night you were here?” he asked. “Mmm-hmm,” I said. “What did I do?” he asked and finished his drink. “You shoved me and yelled some things, but you didn’t get out of bed,” I said. He put the pitcher back into the refrigerator, poured the ice in the sink, and put the glasses in the dishwasher. “Sleepy?” he asked. “I am,” I said. I could feel my eyes getting heavier. “Let’s go back to bed, and behave this time shall we?” he said and held out his hand to me. I took it.

We slept until noon. We only woke up then because security called on the intercom. Seung-hyun got up to answer and I noticed that my neck and shoulder hurt a lot. I dragged my self across the bed and stood up, feeling a little dizzy. I walked over to the mirror and grimaced at the look of the bloody bandages on my neck. I didn’t realize how hard he had bitten me. “Give me fifteen minutes and then let him come on up,” I heard him say in English. Then he came over to inspect my bandages himself. “I need to change these.” We went into the bathroom where he changed all of them for me. As he looked at me standing there in my underwear, all doctored up, he said, “Hit me.” “What?!!” I said. “I’m not going to hit you!” “You have to,” he said. “I will never get over the guilt of this unless you get even.” “It wasn’t your fault,” I said. “I’m not going to hit you and you don’t need to feel guilty. I’m fine.” He leaned toward me and squeezed his eyes shut. “Hit me, Elizabeth! Hit me hard!” You know what? He’s not going to stop until I hit him! So I did. I didn’t punch him like he wanted though. I slapped him, and left a bright red hand print. “Owww,” he said. “Damn, Elizabeth!” I laughed. He rubbed his face and looked and me in the mirror. “I think you need a turtle neck today.”

Downstairs, he said, “I would make us lunch, but your lover is on his way up and I’m guessing he’s wanting to take you to eat.” “My lover?” I said. “Woo Jiho,” he said. Oh no! My phone! I had accidentally left it in my pocket. I felt around for it and when I found it, there were thirteen texts and twenty-two calls from Zico. “I think I’m in trouble,” I told Seung-hyun. “Not in my house you aren’t!” he said. “He doesn’t make the rules here.” He turned back to look at me closer. He leaned down and took me by the shoulders. “Are you afraid of him? Does he hurt you?” I shook my head. “No! No, no. He would never hurt me. He just gets so angry,” I said. He stared at me. “Elizabeth! Don’t lie to me. You are afraid of him.” I was still shaking my head. “No. Really. I’m not lying. Right now is a really bad time. I will tell you about it, but right now I just need to be ready to deal with the anger of Woo Jiho.” “No you don’t,” he said. “Go into the kitchen.” There was a pounding on the door. “It’s really okay, Seung-hyun. Just open the door. He won’t touch me,” I said. “He most certainly will not!” he said. “Are you sure? I can talk to him and send him away if you want me to.” “That wouldn’t be a good idea right now,” I said. “Just open the door.” He didn’t want to, but he did as I asked. As I expected, Zico was standing there with fury written all over him. He looked up at Seung-hyun who stood back to let him in. “Jiho,” he said as a greeting. Zico ignored him. He came to me, and holding back his anger, he said between gritted teeth, “Why didn’t you answer your phone?” “I’m sorry, Zico. I was so tired that I guess I just forgot to take it out of my pocket,” I said. He started rubbing his face as he continued to tamp down his fury. Sucking air hard into his nose and letting it out slowly, he said, “Okay. I understand. You had a bad day yesterday. You seem a bit better than you were last night. We need to talk though. Have you eaten?” I shook my head. “Let’s go get something to eat, and we can discuss things,” he said. “Alright,” I said. Zico’s face changed. He looked at my neck and then at my face several times. Then before I could stop him he reached up and pulled down my collar. “What is this?” he asked. I grabbed my neck to cover it back up. “It’s nothing, Zico,” I said. “Can we just go?” “No! If it’s nothing then let me see it. Did you get hurt?” he asked. I tried to move toward the door, but he grabbed my arm and turned me back toward him. “Please! Let’s just go. It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Then let me see it!” he said. “I burnt myself on a curling iron,” I lied. “It’s nothing. He pulled me closer to him, and I saw Seung-hyun start to come to where we were standing. “I don’t believe you,” he said. He reached up and pulled the tape on the bandage. Part of the bite was visible, and he pulled it all the way off. “What in the hell is this?” he said. He was no longer trying to hold back his anger. He kept pulling my collar down as he found more bandages and bite marks. “WHAT IN THE MOTHER FUCKING HELL IS THIS?” he roared. I tried to hide it with my hands, but it was no use. “Zico, it’s not what you think,” I tried to say. He turned and punched Seung-hyun in the face in one fluid motion. “No, Zico!” I said. “STOP!” I was pulling on him. He yanked his shirt out of my hands and shoved me backwards. I flew into the wall and when I fell, I hit my head on the doorknob. I saw stars. Looking up and holding my head, I saw Seung-hyun dodge another punch. Then he did some kind of move that put Zico into some kind of pretzel formation. He couldn’t move, and he was hopping mad. “LET ME GO, MOTHER FUCKER!” he yelled. Seung-hyun was breathing hard. “Not until you calm down boy!” he said. “BOY? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO? LET GO OF ME!” Zico wasn’t calming down. “I think I’m talking to a boy who tries to solve all of his problems with his fists. I’m talking to a boy that is full of anger and doesn’t know what to do with it. I’m talking to a boy who will become a man when he learns to use his head instead of his hands,” said Seung-hyun. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?” Seung-hyun looked at me on the ground holding my head and said, “I did less to her than you just did.” Zico ignored him. “I KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DRUGGED HER AGAIN, AND HURT HER!” “Calm down, Jiho,” said Seung-hyun. “I can hold you here all day. I took lessons from Master Pao too.” Maybe Seung-hyun IS some kind of ninja, I thought. Zico started struggling, but he couldn’t move. When he finally got tired, he said, “Tell me what you did to her.” “Would you even believe me if I told you the truth?” asked Seung-hyun. “Would you tell me the truth?” asked Zico. “I don’t lie.” “Did you drug her?” he asked. “Yes,” said Seung-hyun. “What?” I said. “When?” “The Limoncello,” he said. “I KNEW IT!” yelled Zico. “There was nothing in it but the alcohol,” said Seung-hyun. “It helped her to sleep. Now do you want to hear how she got hurt?” Zico didn’t want to say yes, but Seung-hyun had been truthful about the Limoncello. He said, “Did you bite her while you fucked her?” “You have a crude way about you, Woo Jiho,” said Seung-hyun. “I just don’t sugar coat anything,” said Zico. “I didn’t have sex with Elizabeth. I’ve never had sex with her,” he said. “Last night, I had a sleep walking episode. I hurt her when I was asleep. I was in the middle of a nightmare. I didn’t mean to hurt her. I would NEVER hurt her. It will never happen again.” “No! It won’t!” said Zico. “You are trying to say that you sleep walked into her room and bit her? I don’t believe that.” “She was in my bed,” said Seung-hyun. Zico’s anger was rekindled. “WHAT? WHY? YOU HAVE A HUNDRED ROOMS IN THIS HOUSE! I’M SURE THAT ONE OF THEM HAS ANOTHER BED IN IT!” “Calm down, Jiho. She needed comfort. Why bother bringing her here if she was going to be alone anyway?” “WHY PUT HER IN YOUR BED IF YOU WEREN’T GOING TO FUCK HER?” yelled Zico. “I told you that nothing happened. Human closeness is the best medicine sometimes when your heart is hurting. You said yourself that she’s better today,” said Seung-hyun. A sound of frustration tore it’s way out of Zico. Then he hung his head in defeat. “Is that what happened, Elizabeth?” asked Zico. “Yes,” I said. “That was exactly what happened.” “Did you know that it would hurt me if you slept beside him last night?” asked Zico. I wasn’t prepared for that question. “Did you know that it would hurt me if you had a baby with another woman?” I asked spitefully. I regretted it the moment it left my mouth. Seung-hyun let go of Zico then. He stood up looking from me to Zico in shock. Zico stood up and stretched. I think his pride was hurt as much as his muscles. Seung-hyun came over and helped me up. He looked at my head. “I think you are okay, but I better put some medicine on this. I’ll go get it.” He ran upstairs. Zico came to me then. “Did I hurt you?” he asked. “I’m okay,” I said. “I hit my head a little.” He looked at it like Seung-hyun had. “A little? Elizabeth, you are bleeding.” “Dr. Choi will fix me up,” I said and smiled. “Why do you always run to him?” he asked me and grabbed my hands. “Because he’s safe,” I said. “He never judges me or pressures me to do anything. He takes care of me.” “Have you really never slept with him?” he asked. “I’ve never had sex with him,” I said to be specific. Seung-hyun returned with the medicine. He fixed up my head and reapplied my bandages. Then he said, “Jiho, I think you should take Elizabeth to get some lunch. She hasn’t eaten.”

 After I had talked to him for a few minutes, I could see why he was friends with Seung-hyun. Their personalities were a lot alike. The moment I walked into the house, he pulled me into a tight hug, and then twirled me around so that he could look at my dress. “Perfect October Sunflower, Seung-hyun,” he said. “Didn’t I tell you?” said Seung-hyun. Letting go of my hand, he turned and said, “Follow me. We are eating in the garden today. It is such a gorgeous day that we cannot waste what God has gifted us with.” He went through a curtained doorway, and I followed Seung-hyun the same way. The word that I found for the garden was ‘delightful’. We walked along a cobblestone path to a large circular platform. It was shaded by trees and ivy, and the flowers of the garden radiated out from the platform. They seemed to go on forever. Four stone statues stood at north, south, east, and west. We sat at a round iron table in the middle of the platform. “I thought I would make crepes for brunch,” said Dong-hyun. “Elizabeth? You aren’t allergic to anything are you? Fruit? Gluten? Dairy?” “No. I’m not allergic to anything,” I said. “Great! And, Seung-hyun! I made that divine chocolate syrup that you love so much,” he said. “I hope you made enough for me to take home,” said Seung-hyun. I guess we will see when we are done eating,” said Dong-hyun. The little man was practically dancing around as he poured batter, flipped thin little pancakes, and chopped up fruit. “I see you eying the statues, little one,” said Seung-hyun. “They are looking at me,” I said. “Yes. They are,” he said with an arched eyebrow. “They are protecting you from the evils at every corner. The mountain lion is the protector of the north. The wolf protects the south. A bear protects the west and, a tiger is the protector of the east.” “I like that,” I said. He pinched my cheek, and said, “So do I.” He leaned over close to me and said in a low voice, “Don’t ask him about the flowers.” “Um, okay,” I said. “He doesn’t like to talk about what he does?” “He loves it! Too much. We won’t go home until midnight if you say one word about the flowers,” he said. Smiling, I told him, “I won’t say a word.” Dong-hyun set the table like a dealer in Vegas. He placed plates and trays like he was dealing cards, and filled those plates like he was doling out poker chips. It looked delicious and smelled even better. Fresh strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries covered three perfect pancakes. That was covered with whipped cream that, no doubt, Dong-hyun had whipped himself, and a dark chocolate syrup was zigzagged over that. A fresh mint leaf finished the plate, and made it look like we were setting up brunch for a magazine shoot. “This is incredible Dong-hyun!” I said. “Thank you so much, Elizabeth,” he said and looked very pleased with his accomplishment. “I took a few cooking classes.” He sat beside Seung-hyun, and I started to notice throughout the meal how many times he would touch him. Seung-hyun didn’t seem to be  aware of it. Maybe he’s just a very touchy feely person, I thought. “Dong-hyun, you seem familiar to me,” I said. “Have we met before?” He flashed a smile at Seung-hyun. “We have. It doesn’t insult me that you don’t remember though. You were quite inebriated.” I looked at him closer, and a memory came to me. “You sat beside me at the Black and Red party!” I said. “I did. You were wearing the most magnificent curls, and I couldn’t stop twirling them around my fingers.” “I remember now. You had on the cutest little top hat. I loved it!” I said. “Yes! That was me!” he said. Seung-hyun poured more milk into my glass. “Elizabeth doesn’t know what her power animal is, Dong-hyun,” he said. “Oh, dear child!” he said. I didn’t realize I couldn’t get through life without a power animal, I thought and tried not to laugh out loud. “We will change that before you leave here,” he said. “Just how will we do that? Can’t I just choose one?” I asked. “Oh no, it chooses you. Everyone is born with a power animal. You just have to find each other. Some people call it a spirit animal but that is a completely different thing altogether,” said Dong-hyun. I felt like I had walked into a bizarre dream. So much of Seung-hyun’s life was strange on a different level. I looked at Seung-hyun. “Dong-hyun is a Shaman,” he said. “He is called a baksu mudang. He can call your power animal to you.” “Well,” I said hesitantly. “I’m a Christian. This won’t be going against my faith will it?” “Dear child, who do you think gave you a power animal. God sends us many protectors. That is why Seung-hyun was at the club the other night. You were there unprotected, and even though he had been tired and really didn’t want to go that night, something pushed him to go there. And here we are,” said Dong-hyun. “I didn’t know that,” I said to Seung-hyun. “When I saw you, I knew why I had gone,” he said. “I’m very glad that you did,” I said. He turned to Dong-hyun. “Elizabeth is going to be my newly found.” “Oh, that’s exciting!” he said. “I took a peek at what she has been working on for the show, and we are going to be celebrated until next year’s show. Her style choices are very different from anything that I’ve seen.” Giving my hand a quick squeeze, he said, “If you keep it up, you will be the star of next year’s show.” “Did you tell her the bad news?” asked Dong-hyun. “No, and it’s not bad news. It’s not even news. And I don’t plan to tell her,” said Seung-hyun. I couldn’t believe they were talking like I couldn’t hear them. “Gentlemen. Hello. I’m right here. What bad news?” “What news?” they said in unison. “We weren’t talking about you,” said Seung-hyun. “Don’t lie to my face,” I said. “Then turn around and I’ll lie to your back,” he said. “Seung-hyun! What is it? Now I’m going to worry. Something bad is going to surprise me, and it’s going to be your fault!” I said. “Alicia Wright is in the show,” he blurted out and poured more chocolate sauce on his last crepe. My face fell. “But why?” I whined. “You know what a retched person she is Seung-hyun!” “Yes, but she is a great designer,” he said. Turning to me and taking both of my hands in his, he said, “Look at it this way. This is your opportunity to outshine her. She is a has been. Last year’s news. I’ve looked at some of her new designs and she just doesn’t have it this year. You do. Your designs are going to overshadow her by miles, and she is going to be forgotten as soon as your first model hits the runway. Your face will be on the covers. Not hers. So, don’t worry about a thing, little one. You are the star this year. Why do you think I’m so excited for this year’s show? I know what a gem I have found!” “Do you really believe all of that or are you just trying to make me feel better?” I asked. “I told you, I don’t lie,” he said. He cut into his crepe and crammed a big piece into his mouth. “Ironic since you just lied to me a moment ago,” I said. He arched his eyebrow at me, and made a kissy face. After brunch, Dong-hyun led us upstairs, and into a room that was missing one wall and a ceiling. It was open like a sun porch except the roof was a canopy of tree branches and vines. There was one long marble counter in the middle, and a round painted design on the floor. Seung-hyun went over and sat inside of the painted design so I did too. I watched as Dong-hyun went in and out of a little door on the side. Every time he came out, he was in a different state of dress. When he finally came out for good, he was wearing a very colorful robe and a matching hat. I watched him hold up a white sheet of paper. He set it on fire and twirled it around the room until it burnt away. Seung-hyun leaned over and whispered, “Purification.” “Dong-hyun brought me a shot glass full of something. “Drink that,” he said. I looked at it dubiously. I whispered to Seung-hyun, “What is this?” “Just drink it,” he said. “It’s tea.” “Oh. I love tea,” I said and downed the shot. Seung-hyun covered his mouth with his fist and laughed. “Blech!” I said and looked at Seung-hyun. I whispered, “That’s the worst tasting tea I’ve ever had!” He took the shot glass and smelled it. “Well, it’s no wonder. He flavored it with peppermint.” Then louder he said, “Dong-hyun, didn’t you have any other flavoring?” “Not at the moment,” he said. “Sorry, Elizabeth. Tell me when you start to feel warm, and then we can get started.” Pointing my question at both of them, I asked, “What did I just drink?” “Poppy seed tea,” answered Dong-hyun. “It will help to relax you so that your power animal can find you.” He came over to where we were and handed me a pillow. “You can go ahead and lay back if you wish.” Seung-hyun laid the pillow in the triangle of his criss-crossed legs. I was starting to wish that I hadn’t done this. It all seemed kind of culty. I laid down anyway. We watched Dong-hyun as he walked here and there, twirling sometimes, and bowing sometimes. I started to get a warm feeling that felt like warm water flowing through my body. I also started to feel a little sleepy and calm. Dong-hyun’s colorful robe began to look like colors swirling around the room. “Are you starting to feel something?” asked Seung-hyun. “How could you tell?” “Because you are laying there grinning at nothing,” he said “Maybe I’m just a happy person,” I said. “She’s ready,” said Seung-hyun to Dong-hyun. I watched as the colorful man opened two enormous fans and began to twirl them in a way that was hypnotizing. I couldn’t look away. It was fascinating. The fans seemed to be opening a hole in front of me. It grew wider and wider until I was looking at a sunny path that wound through a very green meadow. I floated up from the floor and walked along that path. Here and there I saw animals that all startled, and ran when they saw me. I saw a deer, a squirrel, a rabbit, and a dove. I came to a pond and the path led to a bridge that curved over the water. Walking to the top, I sat down and dangled my legs over the edge. My toes made circles in the still water. A butterfly floated down and landed on one of my feet. It was followed by many more butterflies of different colors. Their tiny feet tickled my skin. I laid across the bridge and closed my eyes, falling asleep to the feel of the butterfly tickles.

A little while later, Seung-hyun woke me up. I was still laying on the floor, and Dong-hyun had changed back into his regular clothes. Seung-hyun ran his fingers through my hair. “What did you see, little one?” “Butterflies,” I said. “Lots and lots of butterflies.” “You have found your power animal,” he said. To Dong-hyun he said, “I think we should go. She can go home and rest until dinner.”

And rest I did. I didn’t wake up for hours, and I had some of the most bizarre dreams I had ever had. When I woke up, I couldn’t remember any of them, which was probably for the best. I was extremely thirsty, and my mouth was dry and sticky. I dragged myself out of the bed, and went to find Seung-hyun, and a tall glass of ice water. He was stretched out on a lounge chair near the pool reading. I walked out and grabbed his big toe. He tried to shake it out of my grasp, and when he couldn’t he said, “Girl!” I giggled and let go, sitting in a chair beside his. “I see you had a good nap,” he said, laying his book on his chest. “I did!” I said. “I really need some water though.” “Yeah, that poppy seed tea can draw the water right out of you,” said Seung-hyun. “There is some lemonade over there.” “Blech!” I said. “Blech?” he said. “You don’t like lemonade?” “Nooo. Blech!” I said. He laughed. “Okay, then you can run in and get your own water then,” he said. And that’s what I did. I felt great. For some reason, I felt like I had slept for three days, and I was ready to party for a week. Now that’s a power nap! I found the kitchen in this maze of a house and made a pitcher of iced water. I also found some food in the refrigerator so I made a plate with a little of everything I could find, and made my way back upstairs. For the rest of the evening, I worked on my designs for the show. Ideas were coming to me so easily, and I wondered if it was too easily. I wonder if these are really any good or if my great mood is clouding my judgment. I kept going. It seemed like I didn’t have a care in the world. My world was perfect at that moment. About an hour later, Seung-hyun came up to see what had happened to me. When he saw what I had been working on, he was astounded. “I think I’ll have to get more of Dong-hyun’s tea for you. These are incredible, Elizabeth!” he said. “Do you really think so? I was worried that I was working too fast today for them to be very good,” I said. “I would say you couldn’t do any better. I’m very excited to show you off!” he said. “Please continue. I’ve got a visitor so we will stay downstairs and not bother you.” “Ohhh, I think someone has a date,” I teased. “Will you offer them the lemonade?” He laughed again. “HE is not a date, and yes. He may have lemonade since you so graciously turned down my offer.” I gave him a fake grin showing him all of my teeth. He pinched my cheek. “Just stay up here and finish. You are on a roll.” He left. I only had two outfits to go, and then I would be ready to start collecting material to make my creations. Seung-hyun said that he would pay for whatever I needed. I would make a mock-up of each design and send them off to a special group of seamstresses and tailors that he knew. I already knew exactly what I wanted for the last two designs. That’s when my nose started itching to get into Seung-hyun’s business. The more I thought about it, the more itchy it got. Just one little look wouldn’t hurt. I thought. I just want to see what his friend looks like. I mean, isn’t it suspect that he said ‘my friend’ and didn’t say their name? I had no idea where they had gone so I thought I would go out on the balcony to see if they went back out to the pool. I ran down the hall to Seung-hyun’s room, and quietly opened the balcony doors. I could hear them talking so I was right. Creeping out on tiptoe, I peered over the railing, and then jumped back when I saw who it was. Ji-Yong was sitting in the lounge chair that I had occupied earlier. He had a head full of bright red hair now. I slowly raised my head over the railing just enough to look over and see him. My heart was racing. I couldn’t believe how much I had missed him. Just by looking at him, I felt like I was soaking him in like sunlight. Now all I wanted to do was to sit here and look at him. So that’s what I did. I pulled a chair over, folded my arms on the balcony railing, sat my chin on my arms and watched him. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but I assumed it was business. Or I supposed it could be personal things. I would have given anything to be down there with them. I watched for about fifteen minutes, and that’s when Seung-hyun took a big drink of his lemonade, and saw me. A couple of minutes later, they both went back into the house. Dang it! I decided the best thing to do was go back to my work, and feign innocence when Seung-hyun came up to scold me. I thought my punishment would come on swift wings, but I didn’t see that man again for the rest of the night. I finished all of my computer work, and I had also figured out all of the patterns and materials I would need and tagged them on the drawings. All I needed to do now was collect the fabrics, and send everything off to be sewn. It was really amazing what a person could get done with the right tools, and plenty of time to work. Standing up to stretch, I wondered why Seung-hyun hadn’t come up to say something to me. I went to find him, but all I found was a note. Elizabeth, you will have to have a bath without me tonight. I’ve gone to take care of some business. Don’t worry. I will work everything out. Security will make sure that no one bothers you. I ordered you some dinner, and one of the guards will bring it to the house for you. I want you to eat, have a bath, and go to bed. If you decide to snoop, just know that those that peer through keyholes usually walk away vexed. Or at least very embarrassed. You have been warned. Love, Seung-hyun Didn’t he know that a note like that was going to make me want to snoop? I read it again, and when someone says not to worry, that’s when you definitely should. What was he working out? Had something happened? I really wish I had my phone. I was starving so I went downstairs to see if the food had been brought up. I found it waiting at the front door, so I took it to the kitchen. After I had plated what I wanted, and stored the rest, I took my plate up to the computer room, and watched everything I could find about Zico on Youtube. Then, I did as I was told. I took a shower instead of filling that giant tub, and I found one of Seung-hyun’s t-shirts to sleep in. It was so strange to climb in that big bed by myself. I hated it. My thoughts were so intrusive that I couldn’t sleep. What in the heck is he doing so late at night? Did they just want to go out without me? Why did he leave a note instead of coming to tell me himself? It had something to do with Ji-Yong, and if he had to ‘take care of’ something, it must have also had something to do with Zico. It seemed like I laid there forever listening to silence. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I got up, and went downstairs. I didn’t know where I was going, but I couldn’t lay there anymore. My nap had been so long and thorough that I wasn’t sleepy in the least. At the bottom of the stairs, I was startled when the intercom by the front door beeped. I couldn’t speak Korean, and I didn’t know if the guard spoke English. I wasn’t even sure what button to hit. I pushed one and said, “Hello?” There was static, and then, “Ma’am? I wanted to let you know that the police are coming to the house. I didn’t want you to be startled.” I pushed the button again. “Uh.. Oh… Okay. Is something wrong? Did something happen to Seung-hyun?” Static. “They will explain.” All of a sudden I was terrified. What if something happened to Seung-hyun? Or Ji-Yong. My heart leapt into my throat. I jumped at the sharp rap on the door. It jangled my already sizzling nerves. I looked down at the t-shirt I was wearing. Damn! Why am I always dressed wrong whenever anything happens? Almost falling down, I had to steady myself because my legs felt like jelly. I was so nervous that my food threatened to make another appearance. The door swung open before I could reach it. There were three policemen and one police woman. She approached me first. “Miss Elizabeth?” I nodded. My body felt numb and shaky. “Are they okay?” I finally got out. “Who?” she asked. “Choi Seung-hyun and Kwon Ji-Yong,” I said. “Yes, Ma’am. We are here to collect you,” she said. “But why?” She was gently pushing me toward the door. “Everything will be explained to you at the station,” she said. I went with them, praying the whole way.

  I knew what Zico would do. The real Zico. Not this weak imitation that Alicia had bullied into existence. He would take back what was his. He wouldn’t let anything stop him. And any woman that was worth having him would do the same thing. He would respect that. I started to drift off so I got out of the tub, and put on my pajamas. I took my tea to the living room and made a bed on the couch. I used the remote to open all of the shades so that I could see the lights of the city. I left the lights off and the stereo on. Laying on the couch, I stared across the city to Zico’s hotel and noticed that all of the lights in the penthouse were on.   I wondered if they were throwing a party. It was midnight and they were lit up like a Christmas tree. I stared at that building until my eyes became too heavy to hold up. As I drifted off to sleep, a Block B song came on the stereo.

The next morning I made it to the station at 7:15 A.M. Even Zico hadn’t made it there yet. I planned to be waiting in his dressing room with his outfit for the morning radio show. The only reason he had to have one was because it was being streamed live online. I had decided on baggy black cargo pants, a teal green t-shirt, and his leather jacket with the dragon embroidered on the back. This time I knew he would be wearing this for sure because I was going to put it on him myself. No more hiding or leaving or being shy. I had to fight bitch with bitch, and I thought I just might have a touch of the blood of the dragon in me. I was actually excited for the coming battle. Bring it on Alicia! You don’t know what you have awoken! The door opened at 8 and Zico came in surrounded by his usual flurry of people. He didn’t notice me at first so I got to have a good long look at him. He looked terrible. His eyes were red, and he had black circles upon black circles under them. His hair, that was now black, was a complete mess. He didn’t exude his usual energy. He just looked tired. Almost defeated. That’s not my Zico, I thought. But that’s okay. I’m going to find him and bring him back. No one can bring out his dragon better than me. I smiled a little behind my hand. Standing, I waited for him to wave off the others so that he could get dressed. He rubbed his eyes with both hands. When he looked up, he finally saw me. He jumped up, almost knocking over a little woman with a clipboard. “Alright,” he said loudly. “Everyone out! I have to get dressed.” They scurried out like little obedient mice. I walked over and began to unzip the garment bag without saying a word. “Well, this is a surprise,” he said. Without looking at him, I pulled out the jacket and said, “This is still my job.” “Yeah, but I thought you had forgotten that,” he said. I felt him come up close behind me. I could feel his breath on my neck. “No, I never forgot,” I said. I pulled out the t-shirt. “How have you been?” he asked. “I’ve been doing okay. What about you?” “I’ve been better,” he said. I took the pants out of the garment bag, and turned around. He was very close so I had to step back. I laid the pants down, and looked up at him. His eyes looked sad. Putting my hands on either side of his face, I took a good look at him, and said, “You look so tired.” I was being very tender with him, because I could see that that was what he needed right now. Alicia didn’t seem to know how to do anything but batter him. She liked to keep him like a bug under her slutty stilettos. As if I had called the devil herself, Alicia came into the room and stopped dead. For a moment, she just took in the sight of me standing there with Zico’s face in my hands. She looked completely crestfallen. I dropped my hands, and Zico and I looked at her. “What in the HELL is going on in here?” she asked. Before he could answer, I said, “I’m dressing Zico.” I didn’t look at him, but when he spoke, I could hear the smile in his voice. “That IS her job,” he said. She looked at the garment bag in her hands in bewilderment, but that didn’t last long. Her inner bitch bounced back fast. “Don’t bother,” she said. “I have his clothes here. You can have the day off.” “Sorry, only Jiho can dismiss me,” I said. I had reverted to his real name because it was so much more intimate, and I knew it really needled her when I called him that. Without waiting to be dismissed, I reached out and unbuttoned his pants. That seemed to be a step too far for her. She threw her garment bag onto the ground, and came for me. Realizing what was about to happen, Zico turned to stand in front of me. “Alicia, stop,” he said. She kept coming with a growl deep in her throat, and her claws raised. He grabbed her wrists, and said, “I told you to stop. NOW STOP!” She did, but she was still breathing hard. “But Jico,” she whined. “No,” he said. “You need to go outside and wait for me. I need to get dressed or I’m going to be late.” She stared daggers into me. “But I dress you,” she started to say when he interrupted her. “You dress Block B. It’s always been Elizabeth’s job to choose the clothes for my solo work.” The last thing she wanted to do was leave me alone with him. She was right to feel that way. I was a threat, and she knew it. Still shooting daggers at me with her eyes, she turned and left without another word. I knew that she and Zico would fight tonight, and I was fine with that. He turned back to me when she was gone and said, “I’m sorry about that. She has as much trouble with giving up control as I do.” “I understand,” I said. I smiled up at him, and reached for his pants again. He started to stop me, but then he stood still and let me unbutton and unzip his pants. I realized he wasn’t wearing underwear. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t bring any underwear,” I said. “I don’t need any today,” he said. “It’s okay,” I said. “I’m not wearing any either.” I winked. The look on his face was priceless, and I couldn’t help but smile when I turned to grab his pants. I gave them to him and waited for him to pull them on. When he stood up, I put my hands flat against his stomach, and slowly slid his shirt up his chest. “Want to finish taking this off for me please?” I asked. He slowly pulled the shirt off over his head without ever taking his eyes off of me. I was starting to see a little spark coming back into his eyes. He was doing that cocky little crooked thing with his mouth too. “Something has changed with you,” he said. I handed him the jacket. “Has it?” I asked. I had figured out how to play the game. I had the best teacher after all. All I had to do was follow Alicia’s example. I kind of felt bad for pulling Zico in so many directions. Kind of. “I think so,” he said and smiled. It was so good to see that smile. “You had better get your shoes on and get out there,” I said. He looked at his watch. “Do you want me to leave the clothes in here when I’m done or have them sent to your apartment?” “I’ll be here so I’ll just take them.” “You’re staying?” he asked and raised his eyebrows. “I am. I want to watch the show. Is that okay?” I asked in an innocent tone. “Absolutely,” he said and shoved his bare feet into a pair of sneakers. “I’ll come and help you change so I’ll just pick up the outfit then,” I said. Opening the door, he said, “Really?” “That is part of my job after all,” I said. He just nodded with a silly little grin, and stepped out into the hurricane of staff waiting for him.

I waited for five minutes and then went out and found a seat. I made sure I was away from where Alicia was sitting. When the show started, someone came by and offered me a drink. Once again, it was in a glass with a straw. I started to turn it down, but then I had an idea. I took it and sat it on the table beside me. I asked if they could bring me a coffee cup with a lid, and the man went to find one. I was going to make a stop at the police station on the way home. They knew that someone had poisoned me, and I thought that maybe they could check this drink for me. I had a baggie in my purse that I could carry the glass in. The show was half over when the man finally brought me a coffee cup. I poured some of the soda into it and put on the lid. I went into the bathroom and poured the rest down the sink, and stuck the empty glass in the baggy and sealed it. I went back in, and watched the rest of the show. Just before it was over, I took my sketchy drink and went back to Zico’s dressing room. I straightened out his street clothes while I waited. The door opened and closed behind me. I thought it was Zico until I heard a high pitched whiny voice say, “Okay bitch! What are you up to?” I slowly turned to look at Alicia. I gave her a look of shock. Putting my hand to my chest, I said, “I’m not up to anything. I’m just doing my job.” She smirked. “You may as well give up, little girl. I know what you are up to, and it won’t work. Jico is mine and always has been. He can’t resist me.” She held up her little finger. “He’s wrapped right around this. I shouldn’t have stooped to her level but I just couldn’t help myself. Holding up my middle finger, I said, “This finger has more room for him.” Her face turned a tomato kind of red. “You had better be careful. You might end up like your fat ugly bodyguard.” A cold shiver ran through me. I just looked at her. Why didn’t I see it before? It’s her. We stared at each other for a whole minute before Zico came in. He looked from Alicia to me and back again. “Alicia, can you wait for me in the car please?” he said. “No. I can’t,” she said. “I’ll wait right here.” She took the chair that I had waited in earlier. I went to Zico, and ignored her. I could feel her eyes digging into the back of my head though. He still looked back and forth at us as he took off his jacket. I hung it up. The silence was heavy in the room. Once again, I slid his shirt slowly up his chest. “HEY!” Alicia yelled. I turned my head and very innocently said, “I’m just helping him change. That’s part of my job.” “He can change his own damn clothes!” she said. I looked up at Zico, and he was giving me his You are being a naughty girl look. What? I mouthed silently. He shook his head the tiniest bit, closed his eyes, and turned to laugh a little laugh, and finish taking off his shirt. I handed him his street shirt and reached for the button on his pants. “If you touch that, I’ll rip your face off,” said Alicia. The growl was back. Now Zico mouthed to me, I’ll get it. I waited and handed him his other pants. He walked around me to sit and put on his shoes, so I put the clothes on hangers and wrapped them in the garment bag. Walking to the door, I turned and said, “Jiho, I think I’ve lost your schedule. Could you email it to me please?” “Sure,” he said. I waved at them both and said, “Bye. See ya’ll soon.” Boy, my accent sure does come out when I’m being mean. Zico waved and I didn’t even bother to look at Alicia. I’m sure she waved something too and I didn’t want to see it. I left, taking my coffee cup with me.

When I left the radio station, my stomach was growling, but I decided to take my suspicious drink to the police station before getting something to eat. That was a mistake because it took forever. Finally, I talked to a very nice officer that took the drink and the cup. He filled out a form and promised to get back to me soon with the results. It was already noon, and I was famished. I hadn’t eaten breakfast. I didn’t feel like eating alone so I sent a text to Ji-Yong to see if he was available for some lunch. I got a text back almost immediately. Ji-Yong: I am starving. Where would you like to go? Elizabeth: I know this is very American of me, but I’m dying for some pizza Ji-Yong: I’ll come and pick you up :D Elizabeth: Can you pick me up at the police station? Lol Ji-Yong: ??????????????????????? Elizabeth: I’ll explain over lunch.

Ji-Yong showed up ten minutes later driving a flashy little yellow two seater. I had no idea what kind of car it was, but it was very cute. I had learned never to say that to a man though. They get all bent out of shape over cuteness. I started to get in when he opened his door and said, “Don’t you dare!” He walked over to my side of the car, bent me back and gave me a dizzy making kiss, and then opened the door and held it for me to get in. Trying to gather my senses, I watched as he walked around and got back into the car. He was wearing a white shirt without sleeves that was open down each side, and I could see most of his tattoos. For some strange reason, looking at those and thinking of the last time that I licked them, tickled me in intimate places. He turned to me and gave me a huge smile. “I’m going to read your mind,” he said. “Wow! You can do that?” I said, and laughed a little. “I can. Right now, I’m seeing that you want to eat pizza!” I gave him a shocked look. “That’s amazing!” “I’m also seeing that you would like some good old fashioned American pizza,” he said. “They should call you the Incredible G-Dragon!” I said. “They do,” he said and giggled. I laughed too. We went to Pizza Hut. I didn’t even know that Seoul had Pizza Huts. I was ecstatic. Ji-Yong sat across from me, and wrapped his feet around mine. “Soooo,” he said. “Why did I pick you up in front of the police station?” “Because I was a very bad girl,” I teased. “I already know that,” he said and winked. “But really. What’s going on?” “Well, you know I was poisoned right?” “Yeeees,” he said “That morning, at the television station, someone had given me a drink,” I said. “I know that. That’s why you aren’t allowed to drink anything that isn’t sealed.” “Today, at the radio station, someone brought me a drink again. So I kept it and took it to the police to let them test it,” I said. He spied the tea that was sitting in front of me now. I went to take a drink, but he grabbed the straw, and threw it. He put his hand over the top of my drink and shook his head. “We will get you a bottled drink,” he said. “What about the pizza?” I said. I was joking, but he didn’t take it as a joke. He rubbed his chin with his thumb, and looked up at me from a slightly bowed gaze. “I didn’t think about that.” I reached across the table and caressed his cheek. “Sweet Ji-Yong,” I said, “We have to eat. I’m sure that we are perfectly safe here.” He leaned his cheek into my hand and then turned and kissed my palm. “You’re right,” he said. “But I was really afraid. Watching you throwing up all of that blood. I thought you were going to die.” “If I hadn’t been with you, I might have. I would have been alone. But I’m good as new so you don’t have to worry.” Just then, I remembered that I hadn’t told Kim Hwan where I was going when I left this morning. It was odd that he hadn’t called or sent me a text. I sent him one. I got a little nervous when I didn’t get a text back immediately. What is going on? I thought of Kim Marco and terror swept through me. Ji-Yong must have noticed the change on my face because he grabbed my hand and said, “What’s wrong? “I don’t know. But something is! I need to call Kim Hwan. He’s not answering me.” “Okay, don’t panic. I’m sure it’s fine,” he said. I was shaking as I tried to find the button to reach the giant body guard. Ji-Yong reached over and took my face in both of his hands the same way that I had done earlier for Zico. “It’s going to be okay,” he said softly. It worked. I felt calmer looking at him. I nodded and found the name in my contacts. Listening to the rings made me panic again. I started to count out loud. “Three…four…five.” The voice mail picked up. I was back to shaking. Ji-Yong took the phone from me and made the call himself. I became more anxious not being able to hear the rings. Finally, he said, “Hello. I have someone here who desperately needs to speak with you.” I practically tore the phone out of his hands. “Kim Hwan?” “Miss Elizabeth! Where are you?” he said in a panicked tone. “I was about to ask you the same thing! You didn’t answer me!” I felt like crying. “I thought you were hurt. Or dead.” The last part came out in a whisper. “I’ve been looking for you! I guess I was in a dead zone,” he said. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “I had to go to work this morning and I forgot to tell you. That was my fault. I’m just so relieved that you are okay.” “Ditto!” he said. “Where are you? I’ll come there.” “You know what? I’m with Ji-Yong right now, and I’m perfectly safe. I owe you a day off for scaring you. Go and rest. I’ll be home in just a little while.” “I don’t think that is a good idea,” he said. “It really is,” I said. “Just please, for the love of God, text me every now and then and let me know you are okay.” “Just who is the body guard here?” he asked. We both laughed. It was mostly nervous laughter since we were both coming down from a fright. “I’ll go and sit with Marco for awhile,” he said. “That’s a great idea,” I said. “I’ll come by there this evening to see him, and we can just come home together.” “Alright. I’ll see you there in a while,” he said. “Bye Kim Hwan,” I said and hung up. I was still shaking, but it was mostly from the adrenaline. Ji-Yong was resting his chin in his hand. He said, “You really should listen to me more often. I told you I’m psychic and that it was going to be fine.” I smiled. “I really should. You prove your power of sight all of the time,” I said. We devoured the pizza. Back in the car, Ji-Yong turned to me and said, “I know exactly what you need.” “Another insight from the Incredible G-Dragon?” I asked. “Something like that,” he said. Reaching down, he took my hand and kissed it. At that moment, A realization struck me. I liked Ji-Yong. A lot. I really really liked him. But I didn’t love him. Looking into his eyes gives me a warm feeling and looking at him turns me on, but I wasn’t in love with him. I felt happy when I was with him and we had fun. I just didn’t feel love for him. However, when I was with Zico, I felt completely alive. My skin tingled, my heart beat faster, and everything was all about Zico. He consumed me. He filled all of he spaces. The room, the air, and everything else was full of Zico. The rest of the world was smaller when I was in his presence. I was completely in love with Zico. Actually, I was in love with Jiho. I had a huge problem. Ji-Yong. He was wonderful to me. I couldn’t ask for anyone better. I also didn’t want to hurt him. It was going to happen at some point and it was completely unfair. So in that moment, I made two decisions. I would no longer sleep with Ji-Yong, and I would never lie to him about my feelings for him. I was glad that he couldn’t really read my mind. He winked at me, put the car in gear, and we were off to a place that only he knew about.

After about fifteen minutes, we pulled up to a tiny little building. It was painted pink and had a mural on one side of a goddess bending over to bless a child. Her hair was a mass of vines that were hanging from the top of the building. It was very clever. Taking off his seatbelt, Ji-Yong turned to face me again. “Now listen. You have to keep an open mind.” I gave him a suspicious look. “I think I’m pretty open,” I said cautiously. “Don’t automatically say no when we go in here, okay?” “Alright. I won’t say no immediately. BUT I am keeping my right to say no at a later time,” I said. “It’s a deal,” he said, and got out of the car. I was a little apprehensive. I knew how wild Ji-Yong’s wild side could get. I looked at the building again and worried that it was some kind of sex toy shop. He opened my door and we went inside. I immediately wanted to say no. I didn’t. I had made a promise. A giant of a woman came out from behind a curtain. She had a thousand gorgeous braids that fell from the top of her head to her knees. She was also wearing a lot of ink. I wasn’t one that thought a lot of tattoos looked good on a person. This woman, however, was intriguing. She wore a halter top that exposed more than it covered, but I was sure that was done on purpose to show off the muscles that she had worked so hard to get. Her shorts were like bikini bottoms on her. Very muscular, well defined butt cheeks hung out of the bottom, and I would dare anyone to say anything to her about it. She had a nose ring that I thought was called a septum piercing. Both eye brows were also pierced. I couldn’t help but notice that she had extremely kind eyes. When she saw Ji-Yong, she rushed over to give him a hug. “G! I haven’t seen you in forever. You here to get some more ink?” “Not today,” he said. “Soo Jin, I want you to meet Elizabeth.” She took my hand in her giant one and said, “Hello Elizabeth. It’s very nice to meet you.” “It’s nice to meet you too,” I said. Turning back to Ji-Yong, she said, “So, why did I get so lucky today?” He looked at me nervously. “I’m hoping…” he paused and looked at me again. “Thaaaaat you will help me convince Elizabeth to get a little tat.” “Ji-Yooooong,” I whined. I put my hands over my eyes. “I can’t do that. Not on a whim.” When I put my hands down, Soo Jin was smiling at me very sweetly. “You know Elizabeth, I am an expert at doing tiny delicate tats. Very feminine and sexy,” she said. I looked over at Ji-Yong, and dammit, he was giving me the puppy eyes. That was my biggest weakness. I thought back to the day that I had done the same thing to Kim Marco when I made him get an earring. So this is Karma coming back to smack me. Reluctantly, I said, “Okaaaaaay.” Ji-Yong jumped up and down like a little boy. Soo Jin put a finger over her lips and studied me for a moment. “I think…” she said and squinted at me. “That you are either a heart girl, a flower girl, or a butterfly girl.” I tried to hide my smile, and I said, “I’m a butterfly girl.” She smiled and said, “Don’t be ashamed of that. G is a butterfly girl too.” “HEY!” he yelled. We all had a good laugh. It wasn’t until after it was done that I realized she was an expert at calming nerves. It was a great skill to have for a tattoo artist. I looked at a couple of books of her artwork, and then I found the perfect butterfly. She told me that no one had ever requested that one, and Ji-Yong asked her if she could take it out of the book so that mine would be a one of a kind. “Only for you, G,” she said and pinched his cheek. We decided to put it on my left wrist, palm side, and to the far left because Ji-Yong said he wanted to see it when he held my hand. It only took ten minutes and it didn’t hurt half as much as I thought it would. Now I had a sweet little pink butterfly on my wrist. Ji-Yong and Soo Jin talked for a few more minutes, and then we left. Back in the car, Ji-Yong was extremely happy. “You are an amazing woman!” he said through his smiles. “No I’m not,” I said. “You gave me the puppy eyes!” “You mean that is all I had to do all this time?” he said. “Nooo. You can’t use that against me!” I said. “Sweetheart, you are the wildest woman I have ever met,” he said. “Ji-Yong, you can’t say that after we just left Soo Jin. That woman has got to be the wildest woman you know,” I said. He thought for a moment. “Okay. You might have me there. But you are the wildest woman I’ve ever dated.” “Well, thank you. I think,” I said. “I promise you, it’s a compliment,” he said. “I’ve never met a woman that is so willing to try new things and to take chances. I always look forward to seeing you because I know that it’s never going to be boring.” “Will it make you sad to know that I’m really just a people pleaser?” I asked. “Not at all. Even a people pleaser has their limits. You are more fearless than you know.” I caressed his cheek again, and lovingly rubbed his bottom lip with my thumb. If he only knew how afraid I was most of the time. “So, do you have any more surprises up your sleeve for me today?” I asked. He raised his arms in the air. “No sleeves,” he said. He flashed me that million dollar smile. “However, I was invited to a wine tasting at Seung-hyun’s house. Would you like to go to that?” I panicked a little. “I don’t know anything about wine,” I said. “You don’t have to. It’s fabulously pretentious, and I usually just ignore most of what they say. The wine is usually top notch though. It would be like we were party crashers.” “I’m not dressed for something like that,” I said. “I don’t think I even own anything fancy enough for that.” “What better excuse to buy something new?” he said. I thought about it for a moment. This is crazy. You know what? It’s probably the last time I’ll ever have a chance like this in my entire life. I looked at him and smiled. “Let’s go,” I said. “YES!” he said and shifted the car into gear.

I had no idea where we were going, but I often didn’t. All of a sudden, Ji-Yong pulled into a parking lot and got out his phone. “I was thinking about it, and I’m not that great at picking out the right girl clothes for something like this,” he said. He hit a contact on his phone. “I know who would love to dress you though.” Should I be worried? I thought. “Hyung! I need a favor.” He listened for a minute and then said, “I have a date for the wine tasting.” He listened again. “No. It’s not her.” Glancing at me, he rolled his eyes. “Listen, I need your help.” The rest was in Korean. I was in the dark again. I HAVE to start taking Korean language classes! Once he hung up, he gave me a very sneaky side long glance. “Will your friend help us?” I asked “He can’t wait!” Ji-Yong said. “He kind of lives for these kinds of things.” “Can I ask who the ‘her’ was that he was so worried about?” I asked brazenly. “Just an old girlfriend. I haven’t seen her for a long time, but he hated her guts. He’s always afraid I’m going back to her, but that will NEVER happen. I did that three times, and trust me, that was the charm.” Oh great! Another crazy ex! The rest of the ride was comfortable. We talked about a lot of things, but mostly about me. I told him about the fashion show I was on, and how I got my job with Zico. He finally asked about the scars on my chest and my back, and I told him what happened with Red and Jack. He was astounded. I told him about Jong. Well, some things about Jong. We talked about what it was like to live in America. Then he told me what it was like to be onstage for a huge concert, a couple of past girlfriends, and a little about his family and the other members of Big Bang. It was about a forty minute drive, and I was surprised to see that we were pulling up to T.O.P’s house on the hill. “I thought we were going shopping,” I said. “In a way,” he said and parked in front of the big double front doors. Ji-Yong opened my door for me, and we went inside. He didn’t knock, which reminded me of Zico. Taking my hand, he led me up a majestic curving staircase, turning left at the top, and heading for a room at the end of a long hallway. There was T.O.P. as big as life itself. He was dressed in a pinstriped black suit with a flamboyant purple shirt and a tie in a darker shade of purple. He looked impeccable with every shiny black hair in place. He turned around and walked over to us with his hand out ready to take mine. “There’s my moon and stars,” he said. “You remembered,” I said. “Of course I do. I’m like an elephant. I don’t forget anything,” he said. I had to laugh. He was too good to be true. “Ji-Yong, I laid something out for you in the blue room,” he said as he took my hand. “And as for you.” He looked me up and down. “I picked out five dresses. Looking at you again, I’m thinking no. I know exactly what I want to see on you.” I watched him as he walked over to a wall of sliding doors. He opened one and stood back a little. I saw that it was full of women’s clothing. They were all in order by color. He reached for a long lacy dress in maroon. Holding it up, I heard him whisper to himself, “Perfect.” He came over and held it against my skin. “This one,” he said. “Are you sure maroon is a good color for me?” I asked. “Are you kidding? With that white skin and auburn hair. It’s THE color for you. Besides, this one is wine colored. It’s the perfect shade of maroon for your eyes. Wine and chocolate always go together perfectly.” We stood there for a moment before he said, “You can change back there.” He pointed to a changing screen in the corner. I went behind the screen and started to undress, and I realized that he hadn’t left the room. I peeked around and he was sitting in a chair against the opposite wall. He was slouched down a bit with his long legs elegantly stretched out and crossed at the ankle. Okay, I thought. Whatever. I continued to change, but I hated the silence so I asked, “What should I call you?” “Most people call me Master, but you may call me Seung-hyun,” he said and then burst out in boisterous laughter. I laughed too. “Well, I feel honored,” I said. “May I ask you another question?” “Of course. Anything. I’m an open book. An elephant and an open book,” he said. “Why do you have a closet full of women’s clothes?” “Is that strange?” he asked. “A bit,” I said. “I don’t know any other man that has women’s clothing hanging in their closet.” “I have many reasons. And no. I’m not a cross dresser. I am a collector, and I think some dresses are works of art. Also, my friends and I sometimes have impromptu photo shoots here. Sometimes I gift them to people that I deem worthy. There are a lot of reasons for a man to own women’s clothing,” he said. “Hmm, you’re right!” I said. “I usually am,” he said and laughed that boisterous laugh again. He really did tickle himself. And me too. “Did Ji-Yong tell you that I don’t know anything about wine?” I asked. “No. It doesn’t matter though. The only thing that matters is that you enjoy it.” I heard the unmistakable clicking sound of men’s dress shoes entering the room. “What do you think, hyung?” said Ji-Yong. “I think I should choose your clothes every day,” said Seung-hyun. “Ha Ha funny,” said Ji-Yong. I looked in the mirror, and wondered if I pulled this dress off like he thought I was going to. The style was made for a thinner woman even though this was in my size. It might have also been made for a more flat chested woman. I think I had a little more cleavage than was supposed to actually show. It was a gorgeous dress. It was sleeveless and high waisted. My chubby middle made the dress bell out more than it was supposed to. From mid-thigh down, it was sheer gauzy lace with swirl accents throughout. It hung to the ground. I felt very sexy in it even if I was the wrong body type. I stepped out and walked over to where they were. Seung-hyun stood up and said, “Magnificent!” “You don’t think it’s the wrong style on me?” I asked. “Are you questioning my expert opinion?” he asked. “What makes you an expert?” I said. He looked at Ji-Yong. “She is a sassy little one.” Ji-Yong smiled from ear to ear and said, “YES she is! And you love it!” “I do,” said Seung-hyun. To me he said, “Trust me. You look amazing. Now for shoes. Follow me,” he said and turned to open another closet door. This closet was floor to ceiling shoes. They were also arranged by color. “Are shoes art as well?” I asked. “I have a fetish,” said Seung-hyun as he turned and gave me a sexy smirk with one raised eyebrow. “Feet make me hard.” I looked at Ji-Yong. He just grinned and nodded his head. Seung-hyun handed me a pair of shoes and said, “Would you like help putting those on?” That’s when Ji-Yong spoke up, “She can manage.”

Ji-Yong walked me around the mansion and showed me the amazing works of art that Seung-hyun had collected. The house itself was a work of art and a bit of a maze. We made our way to the side garden where the tasting was being held. I counted twelve other couples and five singles. Ji-Yong introduced me to most of them, but only a couple spoke any English. I didn’t understand anything that was being said but it was okay. I wasn’t really that interested in wine. We walked in a wide circle meeting various people, and then came to the wine table. I looked around not knowing what to do. Seung-hyun excused himself from the beautiful woman that had occupied most of his time, and came over to where Ji-Yong and I were standing. “You look so lost little one,” he said. “Let me give you a lesson.” Reaching down and choosing a bottle, he turned to me and said, “This is an acacia champagne. If you were a wine, you would be this one.” “Why is that?” I asked. “It’s sweet and tastes like honey,” he said. I blushed. I also noticed that a few people had started paying attention to what we were doing. “To begin with, make sure you have a cold glass.” He put a champagne glass in front of me. “Now, you are going to use all of your senses to experience this champagne. When I uncork this bottle, I want you to listen to the effervescence as the bubbles escape.” He popped the cork and held up the bottle for me to listen to. “Now, you are going to notice the clarity of the wine. You want to see the tiniest of bubbles. The finer the bubbles, the better the champagne,” he said. I watched as he poured the golden liquid into the glass. “We wait for a few moments for the wine to open. Then we are going to smell it. I won’t go into the notes of a wine today, but I want you to notice that this one is floral.” After a moment, he picked up the glass, and held it to his nose. “This one is particularly fragrant,” he said and held it under my nose. The little bubbles tickled. It did smell floral. “The last thing is to taste the wine,” he said. He took the tiniest of sips and stood there with his eyes closed. Finally, he smiled and opened his eyes. “Deliciously warm and creamy. This is definitely you,” he said. I didn’t know exactly what he meant by that, but I didn’t question him either. “Your turn,” he said. I took the glass and started to take a sip. Whispering in my ear, he said, “Hold it in your mouth for a second before you swallow. After you swallow, pay close attention to the strength of the tastes and how long they linger on your tongue. The longer you can taste the different flavors, the better quality of champagne it is.” I took a sip and held it in my mouth. Still whispering, he said, “Now swallow. Find all of the flavors. The honey. The acacia, the tang and the sweetness.” I tasted all of those. Then he whispered, “Open your mouth.” I obeyed. He softly placed a small piece of chocolate on my tongue. “Now let that melt in your mouth.” It was the sexiest moment that I had ever had in front of a group of people. The sound of his deep voice whispering in my ear, and the feeling of his breath on my skin, blowing the little curls against my face and making me shiver. Wine tasting is very erotic, I thought. I also noticed that as I stood there with my eyes closed that it had gotten extremely quiet. The only sounds were the birds and Seung-hyun’s whispers. I opened my eyes and saw that everyone was watching us, even Ji-Yong. I was rather turned on, and for some reason, all of the eyes on me intensified that feeling. For such an innocent act, I felt like we had been spied on during a sexual encounter. Seung-hyun had to be one of the most interesting people I had ever met in my life. He really was larger than life. “Well?” asked Seung-hyun. My voice cracked when I said, “That was incredible.” He began to clap, and everyone followed him. “One day, you will come back and I will teach you a lot more. I’ll turn you into a wine collector,” he said. Putting the cork back into the bottle, he said, “And this bottle is a gift to you. Would you be insulted if I named it after you?” I’m sure there was a look of surprise on my face. “What do you mean?” “This is a new champagne from my vineyard in Argentina, and it doesn’t have a name yet. It truly reminds me of you, and I would be honored if you would allow me to name it after you.” I looked around at Ji-Yong who was smiling over his own glass of wine. He raised his eyebrows in a questioning way. “No, Seung-hyun. I would be the one who is honored,” I said. “Wonderful!” he said and everyone clapped again. “When I have them labeled, I’ll send you a new bottle.” “Could you sign it for me?” I asked. “Of course I will,” he said and kissed my cheek. The crowd dispersed and started to mingle again. Ji-Yong took my hand and led me away from the rest. “That was interesting,” he said in a low tone. “Wasn’t it though?” I said. “Made me kind of hot to be honest,” he said. I was blushing again. So it wasn’t just me. “I think we should get out of here,” he said. I agreed. Without even saying goodbye, he grabbed my hand and took me back into the house. I assumed we were going to change back into our clothes, but he took me in another direction. We went upstairs and into a bedroom that I actually recognized. It was the room where we had first had sex, and where Zico had walked in on us. He slammed the door and locked it with a click, and then he was on me. His hands and mouth were devouring me. I remembered the promises I had made to myself just this afternoon, and I knew I was about to break both of them. Oh well, I thought. One last time won’t hurt anything. With that thought, I gave in completely, and let him sweep me away in what was the most mind blowing love making we had ever had.    

When we finally left, I was more than ready to go home. It had been a roller coaster of a day.  I was coming to find that that was the life of a celebrity. Their lives were crazy, but they made them that way. Seung-hyun wouldn’t let me leave without taking the dress, the shoes, and the bottle of champagne with me. He also kissed me full on the mouth right in front of Ji-Yong just before we walked out the door. I was afraid that it would cause a fight but Ji-Yong didn’t even blink. In the car, I asked, “Um, what was that?” Putting on his seatbelt, he said, “Which part?” “The kiss at the end,” I said. He just grinned and said, “That’s how he says goodbye. I ignore it.” “Well, if it was okay with you then it was more than okay with me,” I said. He just gave me a look. Then he asked, “Where to now?” “I really need to go and see Kim Marco,” I said. “Could you drop me off?” He picked up my hand and held it to his lips. “Can I go with you?” he asked. “I’m not ready to give you up yet.” “I would love it if you went. I’m sure Marco would like it too.” We rode in silence for awhile. I decided to check my emails to see if  Zico had sent me his schedule. I lied to him earlier because I hadn’t actually lost it. I had deleted it. When I opened my email app., I was surprised to see eight emails from him. I opened the first one and it was the schedule. I pinned it. The second one said: Elizabeth, did you get another phone? Why don’t I have your number now? I wrote back: Jiho, I did get a new phone. Here’s the new number… And I gave him the new number.   The third one said: You aren’t home yet. I didn’t answer that one. The fourth one said: The security bastard threw me out. He said that I wasn’t welcome in your building. What in the hell is that about? I didn’t answer that one either. I didn’t know if I wanted to open the fifth one, but I did anyway. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so mean in my last email. I was just surprised. I guess I know why they won’t let me in. The sixth one said: I’m really glad that you decided to come back to work. I’m sorry about the trouble. I hope that doesn’t stop you from helping me with the rest of the schedule. I answered this one with: Don’t you worry. I’ll be there. I’m a tough cookie. I didn’t know if he would get that I had used one of his older songs there, but I thought he would. I thought it would make him laugh. He has such a great laugh. I wish I was there to hear it. Just then, my phone buzzed. It was a text from Zico. Zico: Thanks for the number. Elizabeth: You are right. My boss should have my phone number. Ji-Yong and I pulled into the hospital, and went in to see my big scary teddy bear.

Kim Hwan was asleep in a chair beside Marco’s bed. I didn’t know the best way to wake him without getting shot, so I left him there. I walked over to Marco’s other side and leaned down to his ear. “Marco,” I said. Still nothing, but I was never giving up. I knew that was going to be the key to unlock his sleeping brain one day soon. Finally, Kim Hwan woke up and I decided to ride back with him. Mostly because I didn’t want Ji-Yong trying to come up to my apartment. It was going to be hard enough to tell him no from now on without the added temptation of the bed in the next room. The body guard went to get his car, and I kissed Ji-Yong goodbye. I watched as he pulled away, and he blew me a kiss.