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Draco, eating breakfast: Oh, hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this.
Harry, who walked out of his bedroom in his house into his kitchen: Maybe we would, if you would STOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE
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Draco: Potter is so oblivious! I mean I've been flirting with him since 3rd year!
Person: Throwing insults at him is not flirting.
Draco: IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!
Draco : I want to raise my kids where I spent my childhood!
Harry : In the closet?
Draco :
Harry: Okay, you have 10 happy meals, and I take three. How many do you have now?
Draco: What the fuck is a happy meal?
Harry: Fun and exciting muggle food, anyway, I take th-
Draco: I still have ten. And I have your dick. I chopped it off. That’s what you get for stealing.
Hermione: Do you know what bees make?
Ron: Honey?
Hermione: Yes dear?
[Harry turns to Draco]
Harry: Draco, do you know what bees make?
Draco: Some stupid annoying sound, what the fuck do you want.
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Draco: I’m actually deeply in love with Potter and we’ve been dating for a couple months now, we even have pet names
Ron: Why are you telling me this?
Draco: Because no one will believe you
Draco: Can you do a backflip?
Harry: No
Draco: Same, we have so much in common I think we need to get married.
Cedric: Are you fucking my boyfriend?
Draco: Not in this exact moment, are you blind or something
