#dragon loop

Loop gonna meet the family one way or another

Siffrin wants to shrivel up and die right there. Just die die die and die again. Die and not come back.

If they can't even get past the first trap, how are they supposed to even beat the King again, let alone figure out what's really causing the loops?

They hear light footsteps and swishing grass and, as if being pulled up by puppet strings, they rise and stretch their smile back on.

Okay, well. The curtains open once more; they won't wait for you! Put your smile back on ‘stardust’ and don't make anyone suspicious this time!

Right on time, Mirabelle arrives to chastise them for napping. They smile and nod, smile and nod, and soon enough, she's on her way. Their eye was too unfocused to even tell if she was fooled by their act.

Not like it matters, anyway, he'll be dead in a day anyway.

But they'll have to put on the act once more, and then again and again and again until the end of time!

Stars.

They start to head to town, but a tug at the back of their mind has them turning back around and staring into the trees.

Oh right. Loop.

They push their way into the thicket and scan for any signs of the rukemi.

"Loop?" they call out to the boulder next to the suspiciously quivering foliage. "I'm going to the Favor Tree. I'll talk to you there, I guess."

Why there, anyway? There's no reason you have to go there.

...

Big tree nice.

They shrug, shake the leaden feeling from their limbs--or at least try--and trudge through the meadow.

Happy face. Happy face! Let's go Siffrin!

They pat their cheeks and shake their head to knock some of the despair away. Or, rather, to hide it better.

Mirabelle's second conversation went well, for the most part. She looked at them with a raised eyebrow and a quirk of the head a few times, but if she suspected anything, she said nothing.

Success! Just fit right back into that role!

...

Isabeau time.

" Tree-mendous tree! " they smirk and watch as he barks out his normal (normal!) laugh. He raises his hand toward Siffrin, stops, then lets it fall to his side.

Siffrin blinks. Did that happen before?

They can't take their mind off that gesture as they script their way through the rest of the conversation. It has been a while, after all, besides the complete fumble of the last loop.

He gives a small wave as Isabeau walks off, stopping at the treeline to give him a questioning look before leaving.

Weird. Well whatever, you probably still look like shit.

Shit?

Loop's swear popped into their mind so naturally. They don't even know what it means yet; maybe it isn't even a swear!

Sure sounds like one though. It has that zest only the good swears have.

He shrugs and moves on.

The Favor Tree looms over them, guarding a little patch of night under its million leaves. He inches forward and calls out.

"Loop?"

They look up into the branches to see the rukemi flattened against the same branch from last loop. They peer at him, tilting their head with their ears and long feathers fanned up and out. Like they're studying him, like they're deciding if he's a friend or a meal.

They don't respond. Just stare.

With a deep breath, Siffrin hauls themself up to their branch and plops down. They don't make eye contact for a moment, already suspecting some sort of quip for looping back so soon.

"So...Stardust?"

They groan. "I know, I know, I said that was the last loop and then messed it up."

"Hahah, yeah I uh..." They scratch the back of their head right under their long, fluffy feathers. "I suppose I should know what you're talking about?"

Siffrin's blood runs cold. "What? What!? What do you mean? You don't remember last ni--loop? ANYTHING?"

"I--" their gaze follows a dry leaf as it flutters down through the air, hitting and nearly sticking on branches on the way. "I think? Some things? You def--"

"Like what!?" He leans dangerously close to the edge of the branch.

Loop flinches. "Well, um. You're trying to kill a King?" they say with a huff and a flick of their tail.

A twisting feeling in their chest falls. "...Is that all?"

"No. Something about...hmm..." They bring their claw, no longer cracked, to their mouth and bite down once again. They speak in a low rumble. "No, that's impossible, but..."

"Yes!?"

"Time...loops? That's what you meant, right?"

Siffrin nods so aggressively their hat nearly falls off. "Yes! I told you about it and everything! And you don't remember?"

Loop lowers their head against their shoulders, as if trying to hide in their feathers. "Time loops, tyrannical king--now isn't that redundant?--he/they, stuck for a while, forgotten a lot since you've been trapped, I think, something about mangoes...oh right you told me quite a lot of personal details I don't think were relevant to anything, didn't you?"

Siffrin bites their lip. "Was relevant to me," they mumble.

Loop tilts their head. "Erm, well, we can unpack that another time." They put their claws together in the shape of a diamond.

"...Is that all?"

They make a swirling gesture in the air. "Bits and pieces of things. But, yes." Their feathers settle. "That's about it."

Siffrin sighs. They close their eye and press their face into their hands. Gravity pulls at them harder and harder, making them sink into themself. If the branch he's sitting on shatters and he crashes to the ground in a pile of meat, he wouldn't even be surprised.

Heh.

Ground meat.

But the branch holds firm, and he's faced with the fact that it's only his mind pulling him down.

"Stardust?"

Siffrin grunts. At least they remember that .

Okay. Okay, no this is fine. They're only mostly unhelpful! They remember more than your friends, at least! We can still figure things out!

Digging his palms into his face, he takes a deep breath and faces the rukemi. "We're here to kill the King who's been freezing everyone in time and--" they inhale again and push on. They repeat much of what they said the night before, slowly, painfully, already writing the script in their mind, they plan on telling Loop every single time from then on...

A flash of a buried memory flits across their mind, and they perk up slightly.

Oh right, at least there's that.

They divert the topic and dig through the mire for more and more, picking up speed until there's an edge of desperation to their voice.

More campfire meals. Finding an orb (which one, which one!?). Isabeau's strong hand stopping him from walking straight into a trap he so stupidly missed. Tending to Mirabelle's hair after the river mishap. Losing a drunken arm wrestling match to Odile. Losing a sober arm wrestling match to Bonnie.

Loop listens, just like the night before, head tilting side to side, occasionally having their attention stolen by a fluttering leaf or the gentle piou piou of a songbird.

After Siffrin's words peter off once again, they massage their throat and press their face into the cool, rough bark of the tree.

"Well." Loop stretches out, careful not to tumble out of the tree or snap the branch. "You certainly gave me a lot of information... Again."

"Please remember it this time," they murmur, dejected, hollow.

"Ehh. No promises."

Siffrin can only groan.

"But I certainly can try!" They give him a soft smile with their eye.

"Why can't you remember it all? Why is it only me?"

Why me why only me why why why?

"How would I know?" They give an exaggerated shrug. "Maybe you're infecting me with your memory problems."

"How would I even do that?"

They snort. "Well, we've already established time loops are a thing, so infectious amnesia doesn't seem quite so far-fetched anymore." They flick a leaf off their haunch with their tail. "Also, that was a joke."

Siffrin grumbles and knocks their head against the trunk. "Ugh, some help this is. The Universe is just toying with me at this point."

"I'm sorry ?" They raised their brow.

"I found you because the branch broke and you fell out of the tree."

Loop sinks their head into their shoulders. "Eghh, stars, that's unfortunately one of the things I do remember. What of it?"

"If the Universe did that--if it sent you to help , then this is just some sort of sick cosmic joke."

Just like me.

"Okay, first of all, rude. Secondly, the Universe doesn't work like that. It doesn't care about us. It just is. "

Siffrin presses his forehead to the bark. “Ugh, it’s not like any of that is real anyway." He lets out another long-suffering sigh.

"Are you even listening to me?" Loop's ears twitch. “Ehh, we’re getting off-topic anyway.”

Siffrin sniffs and shifts their head to look at them again. The bark scratches at their face and pulls at their hair.

“You still in there, stardust?”

They grunt.

"Okay, good enough," they shrug. "Anyway, I'm assuming you have not defeated the King again.”

"No." He knocks his cheek against the tree.

"Okay, well, did you try the thing I suggested? The er...poison?"

They grimace. "...No."

"And why not?"

Siffrin grits their teeth. "Didn't make it that far."

"Oo, that would mean you died, correct?"

They scrunch their nose and nod.

"Well, try not doing that again!"

He scowls and is only met with a twitch of Loop's ear.

"Well, anyway, now that you're not quite so...er...last night... Maybe we can put our heads together again and think of something else. What did your party do when you talked to them about it, again?"

"I haven't told them. I can 't tell them."

"Right. And you haven't told them once...why?"

“I told you why."

Loop squeezes their eye shut and exhales. "Something about not wanting to hurt them. A ridiculous reason in my humble opinion, but it seems like you're not budging on that." They clap their hands together and turn their eye upward in a smile. "Well! We'll just have to do this in a more roundabout way, then! Maybe there's somewhere you can do more research? You all have libraries here, right?"

They raise an eyebrow at Loop. Duh .

"Mhm. There's one in town and in the House."

"There you go! A new goal to strive for."

"Ehh, I'll check it, I guess."

How many more loops will it take to even find something useful? There's so many books in the House, and you can't even go into most of them.

"Great! Let's make a list of what we need to figure out. First order of business is to find an easier way to kill the King."

Siffrin presses themself even harder into the bark. "Don't even know if I can , I've tried thousands of times and only managed that one time. What if it was a fluke? What if Mira's not able to deal the final blow next time? What if there's never a 'next time'? What if I can't replicate what I did last time and have to fight him another thousand times?"

...

They scream into their hands.

"I can't do that. I can't keep doing this."

Loop's wings droop. "Well, that's what the research and experimenting is for, stardust. Finding another way." Their voice is gentle, soft like their feathers seem to be.

Siffrin's eye focuses on Loop's talons and how they so easily carve through the bark on the tree. An image flashes in their mind of them carving them into the King's throat--of their fangs slicing through all the weak points in his armor as he thrashes around and paints the room in his blood.

He thinks about Loop's jaws around his own throat--

"Can you help us?" The words tumble out of their lips on their own.

Stupid. Why are you asking this?

"Huh? I mean, I already am?" They flick their tail. "Well, trying, at least."

How are you going to explain to your friends? Are you that desperate?

"I mean help us fight the King."

'Oh, hey everyone, do you mind if I bring a blinding dragon thing with us to the fight? No, they won't eat you! Probably!'

"Er, no. I do distinctly remember telling you I'm not supposed to interact with humans. That includes killing them--even if it is regicide." They add that last bit with a huff and a gaze into the distance.

Siffrin sighs.

Well, at least you don't have to think about explaining anything.

"Plus, I won't be much help, I'm no fighter and couldn't kill a human even if I wanted to." There's a tinge of bitterness to that statement.

"But how? You're covered in sharp parts. It should be easy!"

" I am not a weapon !" they hiss, jaws slamming shut and glaring straight at him with an intense, wide-eyed look. Their feathers stand on end and almost vibrate with emotion.

It was enough to make Siffrin jump and straighten himself out.

" I. Don't. Fight . I didn't sign up for any of this." Loop grimaces and slaps their hand to their head, digging their talons into their scalp. "I didn't ask for this blinding migraine or to be dropped at your feet in the dead of night. I'm helping because I'm stuck in this fucking mess too, but I will not fight your battles for you."

A shiver runs down their spine as their blood chills. "Right, okay, sorry."

Loop studies them for a moment longer, making them shrink into their collar and under their hat until they look like a stray pile of clothes.

Loop sighs and scratches the bridge of their snout. "It's fine." A bit of dried skin falls off their scar and spirals down. The exposed flesh underneath makes the space behind Siffrin's good eye ache a bit. The shade of it is...slightly strange, but they can't really put their finger on what is so wrong about it.

Now that it isn’t quite so dark as before, Siffrin can take a closer look at Loop.

They look… not great.

He can't see much of their left eye; there's hardly any left of it besides scar tissue. It doesn't seem like they can open or close it any more than it already is.

The scar on their face is thick and leathery and extends partway down their neck. It's mottled with different shades and patterns, suggesting that it hadn’t been properly healed. It seems to pull their head slightly to the left as the skin has tightened from whatever injury caused it. A burn? There's really nothing else that could have done it...unless it was caused by whatever chemical warfare Loop was talking about.

Siffrin suppresses a shudder.

They seem to be missing feathers here and there, and many of the existing ones are damaged or dirty. And their front legs--the skin on them looks rough and mottled, though not quite as extreme as their facial scar.

It's hard for Siffrin to really guess much about Loop's condition outside of the obvious--it's not like he knows any other rukemis to compare them to. But... thinking about the fluffy round birds hopping around town, and the many, many chickens and ducks they've seen in their lifetime (oh, a memory! He's seen chickens and ducks before, now isn't that useful!) Loop looks... thin.

"Loop, are you hungry?"

They jump slightly; it seems like they were distracted by studying Siffrin themself.

"I could be, perhaps. Maybe a little." They puff out the feathers on their body just a bit.

"I can get you something to eat." They grab their silver coin and squeeze it in their hand until it hurts. "Well, I don't have any money, but I can catch some fish."

Loop's ears turn back, and they sigh. "It's fine, stardust. It's not like it matters if we're going to go back in time anyway."

"...Right."

The sun is close to the horizon. Dinner will be ready soon. Maybe he can leave a plate out for them; it's not like food does him any good anymore.

"Anyway, I'm sure you have places to be soon. So hurry on over to the library to find some other way of killing the King and more about the loops or whatever." They scratch at their throat. "I still vote poison, or dropping the ceiling on him, but I'm sure there's other magic spells you can use to turn him inside out or something."

Ew. But again, too kind an end for him.

"Okay. Thank you, Loop."

"Don't mention it. And please find something soon."

"I'll try."

Siffrin shifts themself and clambers down the massive tree, making each step with care to fight off the pins and needles that have returned. He takes one more glance at Loop as they watch him silently, head resting on their hands.

With a nod, he heads to the library and feels his smile plaster itself back on the moment he reenters Dormont. He wastes no time with pleasantries and heads straight for the nearest bookshelf.

The librarian approaches him anyway. "You're one of the saviors, right?" They ask with a tilt of their head, the beads on their glasses make a funny little clinking sound. "Do you need my help with something?"

He flinches. They stare at the librarian, giving them a questioning gaze. 

Oh right the boulangier isn’t the only villager who talks to you. Oh. When was the last time you even went there? 

A pain au chocolat doesn’t sound terrible in that moment. Maybe they should go grab one. Anything chocolate. Maybe something for Loop, too.

Wait… 

Can Loop eat chocolate? Or will it kill them because they’re part dog or something?

“Hello?” The librarian waves a hand in front of their face. “Are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh, right? No chocolate for me, please—I mean I’m fine, thank you!”

They blink a few times. “Well, okay then. I’ll be over here if you need anything.”

Siffrin pulls their smile wider and waves a ‘thank you’ before turning back to the bookshelves.

Okay, that was blinding awkward of you, but whatever, not like any of this matters in the loops anyway! 

He shakes his head clear. Sliding his finger across the spine of every book, he reads each title carefully, once, sometimes twice, blinking away the fog in his mind.

Useless.

Useless.

Useless.

Weird headache book again.

Oh? No, just basic craft spells.

Nothing. Of course not. They probably checked it a hundred times before and just forgot.

What were they looking for again?

Oh, right, ways to hit the King harder and a book on time loops, as if that's something that exists outside of fiction. Maybe one of Mira’s horror books has something on time loops. Maybe it’s based on a true story too! You just gotta casually ask her—

No, that’s stupid, of course it’s stupid! 

Defeated, they lightly hit their head on the shelf and trudge out. 

Whatever. Whatever! It's something to look forward to. Enrichment!

They blink.

They're at dinner, eating ash once again. He smiles through the banter and is happy to notice that their friends aren't as suspicious as the previous loop. Or at least they don't seem to be.

Something to look forward to. Don't run headlong into your death this time!

He blinks.

They're in bed and Isabeau is once again trying to tell him what he's tried to say a thousand times before.

Don't be stupid, stupid, stupid this time.

They close their eye.

They're back at the House once more. At least they managed to get a little more rest that time. Even if they didn't get to sleep much, they still got to be horizontal for a few hours.

Beats sitting in a tree and talking all night.

It's hopeless.

But at least there's something new to do.