#rukemi loop

Memory of Desperation Chapter summary: CRUNCH HERE WE BLINDING GO! Loop takes on the King. They reach the end.

[Read on Ao3] (Suggested for better formatting + chapter content warnings)

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"Loop!" Siffrin screams as he finally processes what he sees.

"Stardust," they glance behind them, that visceral shade dripping from their jaw. "I—"

FWOOM!!!

The King's fist connects with their wing and chest, making a series of sickening, wet snaps. They're sent crashing into the wall with a wheeze, sliding down and crumpling to the floor in a heap of bloody feathers. The sound alone is enough to make Siffrin's stomach churn and heart freeze.

"NO!" He takes off before they even hit the ground, ignoring the calls of his allies and the hand that grasps at his cloak. All he can see is Loop.

The King turns to him and shakes the terrifying shade from his gauntlet, painting the room further. His wheezing breaths can be heard echoing through the hall. He reaches for the spear embedded in his neck and, with a trembling hand, rips it out, crushes it, and throws it to the ground. A stream of dark blood spurts out after it, and he presses his fingers to the puncture. He holds his other fist in front of him. And waits.

Siffrin is on Loop in a heartbeat. He slides to his knees beside them, ignoring the rubble that digs into his legs and the King’s tears that float dangerously close.

Loop groans and tries to move their shattered wing.

"Owwie," is all they can say.

"Loop! Loop! What are you doing?" Siffrin reaches out but stops, hands inches from their body. Loop's breath shudders; they're absolutely covered with deep gashes, all leaking that same shade of blood. Something is very, very wrong with their chest; part of it is curved inward when it very much should not be.

"Sif! Get back!" Isabeau's footsteps thunder louder and louder.

"Siffrin! What is that!? Wait!"

"Boniface, stay by the door!"

He ignores them.

"Oh no, oh no no no. Oh stars, oh stars, fuck, shit, dammit." It's bad. It's really bad. Not even Mirabelle could come close to fixing it. "I don't—I don't know what to do, why did you blinding do this, Loop!?"

They cough and raise their head; several teeth are missing around a break in their lower jaw.

The King’s thundering approach just barely catches Siffrin’s attention. He towers over them, channeling Craft energy into his gauntlet. They glance over as he readies his fingers to snap, and they throw themself over Loops’ head.

He st—

Isabeau strikes, slamming his fist right into a dent in his chest plate. It cracks more, and the King stumbles back, slapping a hand over it. Mirabelle and Odile rush between them a moment later and let off their own attacks, pushing the King back further.

The King's rumbling voice scratches the back of his mind. 

Shut up. Shut up!

"Oh, y'know," Loop slurs. "Tired'f'tis'shit."

"What?"

"I'll'b'fine's jus'som'brusis."

"Loop!" he chokes. "You're dying! No, no, this isn't supposed to happen! We could've—we would've been fine! We found a shield spell!"

The King speaks again. It sounds garbled and nonsensical.

"Yaay." They let their head fall. Something else cracks. Siffrin holds back bile. "S'thisws'pointless?"

"What? No, it—" Movement from the King catches his eye.

He's powering up his attack. No. No. No!

"Mira! USE YOUR SHIELD!"

"What? H-hold on!" She raises her rapier and calls out the Craft through the tip. The air sparkles around her, Isabeau, and Odile...

But not them...

No, no no, they're not close enough!

They have to—

[You see a vision of the ?̴̐ͅ?̷̹͝?̸̡̈?̵̛͓ ]

Visions upon visions pile up over each other, surging through his mind.

It hurts, it hurts! It hurts it hurts ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts!!! They can't—they see...fire. Fire! Fire fire fire teeth fire it burns it's so hot it hurts it hurts it hurts their skin their face is—

They collapse.

The burning is replaced with a dull, distant throb. It’s so dark.

Something... tickles their neck. Feathers?

"Sif! Siffrin!" His words sound so distant, as if they’re all underwater.

"Frin!"

"Siffrin! Don't move! I'll—eek!"

The King wails and the floor shakes, but Siffrin hears Mirabelle's distinctive footsteps dance away.

Good. She's safe.

"I'm coming, Frin!"

They blink as Bonnie rushes them from the other side of the room.

"Boniface stay there!"

"But Frin's hurt!"

The King swipes at the trio. They all stumble back, barely avoiding the attack until they're up against the opposite wall. Bonnie skids to a stop.

He cries, and more tears spill out, joining the many already spilled and blocking the party in.

"Sif! Hold on, we're coming!"

Siffrin blinks some vision back. Still dark. But he can make out some shapes.

"L-Loop?"

"Nnh..."

They're lying limp beside them. The tip of their shattered wing drapes over his body.

Their breath is so weak, so wet and raspy. It rattles slower and slower each time.

"Fffffffffffuck." They turn their eye toward Siffrin and reach out.

"W's'hopin' didn'hav’t'dothis." They freeze as a series of violent, but rapidly weakening coughs wrack their body. More of that shade sprays from their mouth and onto Siffrin's cloak.

"Wha—?"

"Sorry, stardust." Their talons close around his neck, digging lightly into his skin. They shut their eye.

"Loop, what are y—"

                 There's a light.

                                             Another

                                Weird

                                                                 shade

                                        it's...

                     warm

                                                               like the morning 

sun

                       He feels...

                                           pressure...

         Pressure, so much pressure, through his throat into his head in his head in his head—

                     He sees

                                  He's...flooded

           Glimpses of

                                memories?

Rukemis. So many. And humans. Strange clothes. And some... other..? Huge buildings. Complex devices. Stars. Stars. Stars.

                    Loop's?

They're there for the briefest of seconds and gone from his memory in a flash.

       Can't            even               process.

The light wraps around him and rushes inside. He can't keep up. There's so many, so many thoughts, feelings, it's too much he can't focus he can't—it hurts—it's making him...

             making

                            him

                                           ...

                         Everything

                  goes

         dark.

Siffrin collapses.

The King raises his fist.

Their allies scream.

He brings it down over their body.

Siffrin...

Launches away.

They land on all fours, shaking rubble from their hair as it rains down on them from the attack; their hat lies flattened where they had just been.

Everyone freezes.

They scramble to their feet. Shaking, trembling, arms dangling in front of them. Gloved hands twitch, then dig through hidden pockets, searching for a weapon.

"Ohhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhh..... Bright one........... You stand again. Good........... Let us fight to the death............."

They launch past the King's attack, landing on his armored gauntlet and scrambling upwards on all fours. The King thrashes, but fails to dislodge his attacker as they claw their way onto his pauldron. The knife is dug into his throat opposite the still bleeding spear wound, deeper, deeper; blood sprays out onto a snarling face as it’s twisted around. Their eye is wide, intense, and glowing in that second strange shade.

Raw Craft sparkles from their hands, and it’s shoved toward the wound. It arcs back and fizzles out in every direction, sending them tumbling to the floor. The party cries out, but they're back on their feet in an instant and strike again. They let out a more directed, yet chaotic burst of Craft energy, breaking through the crack in his chest plate. They leap back before they can dig the knife in deep, as the King swats at him again.

The party keeps blasting the tears with craft, pushing them aside bit by bit to make a safe passage through. Almost there! None of them can keep their eyes off the battle waging on without them!

Bonnie stands far back, gripping a tonic to their chest.

Nobody says a thing. The fight continues. Attack after attack is launched at the King. Erratic. Violent. Animalistic.

The knife is shoved into a weak spot on the King's arm, and he clenches, snapping the blade off inside his flesh. He wails, but the shockwave is no longer powerful enough to knock them far.

They don't let up. The King swings again, misses again, but the action was enough to cause them to slip on the rubble and land hard on their back. He takes the opportunity to snap his fingers and slam Craft energy square in their chest.

They collapse again, but they’re back on their feet before the King can follow up. Blood leaks from their knees where they were ripped into by shards of glass and stone.

They're slowing. The King is slowing.

Isabeau finally breaks a passage through the wall of tears, and the three rush out and surround them.

Shaking, the King Crafts another rock attack, hitting them all point blank. Odile, Mirabelle, and Isabeau stumble but stay steady, but Siffrin lands hard on the ground. More debris tears into their arm.

"Sif!"

"Siffrin!"

"Frin!"

Everyone calls out Siffrin’s name as they rain attack after attack on the King. He's nearly defeated. He's on his knees, thrashing weakly. His attacks barely pack a punch.

He curses at the party.

Curses at Siffrin.

Curses at Loop.

No one responds.

Mirabelle casts her shield once more and pours healing craft into Siffrin’s body.

Their wounds fade just a bit, and they haul themself up.

Gripping the knife, rage glowing in their eye as brightly as that unnatural shade, they lunge forward, past the party, straight at the King's face.

With a final burst of feral energy, they channel a stream of Craft through their broken knife as they plunge it directly into his left eye.

The King can only grunt as his brain is obliterated.

He reaches out, and...

                                    Falls.

His corpse shakes the entire room, causing more bricks to tumble from the edges of the holes.

Siffrin jumps back just in time, stumbling on some rubble and falling to their knees. They let out a weak groan.

Their party rushes to their side, everyone talking all at once.

"Sif! Sif please please be okay, we got you, we're here. How did you..." He gestures at everything.

"Siffrin, don't move, please. Let me heal you."

"FRIN!? ARE YOU OKAY!? THAT WAS SO COOL! THAT CREATURE IT'S SO COOL AND THOSE SHADES ARE SO WEIRD! YOUR EYE IS ALL… I DON'T KNOW!!!"

"Siffrin what the gems was all that? How did you--"

"Nngh. Rude," they finally mumble, grimacing. "Not an it. "

Everyone gasps and jerks back.

"...Sif?"

They shake their head clear and smile wide and lopsided, as if they were just learning they have lips. Their eye turns up to match their grin, still glowing warmly, though dimmer than before.

"Stardust isn't home right now! That creature, speaking! Would you like to leave a message?"

Loop grimaces and presses Siffrin’s palm to their forehead as they’re bombarded with much-too-loud questions and demands. "Oh, don't worry, he's fine," they grunt and wave them off. "You'll get him back any minute now~!"

Finally, there's a moment of silence. They all stare. Isabeau is the first to compose himself.

"You're not... going to harm Sif? But how... how did you do—"

"Now hold on, I'm sure you all have many, many questions for me, but I don't exactly have the time or desire to answer them right now.” They stand up, wobbling like a newborn fawn. "Oh, oh, here it comes! The void calls, or whatever. Someone catch me~!" They stumble over to Isabeau, swoon dramatically, and collapse into his arms.

Something hurts.

Everything hurts.

It's loud. So loud.

So much talking.

Why can't they shut up? Let him sleep in!

They try to cover their ears, but they can barely manage a twitch of their arms and a wheezy groan.

The talking cuts off for a brief moment before his body is shifted, and his name is called by several people.

He feels something warm and soft cradling him from behind.

It's nice.

But—

Ugh...

He takes a deep breath in and grimaces. Another breath, and he pries his eye open.

It's bright, so bright. There are figures around him, blocking out some of the light, but not enough.

"Sif? Sif buddy, are you with us?" Isabeau. There's a waver in his voice.

"Frin, are you still possessed by the weird flying dog thing?" Bonnie. They're so loud. They sound so scared.

"Wh—wha?"

He squeezes his eye shut and, with great effort, brings a hand to his face.

He's so stiff, so sore, like he stumbled around drunkenly using muscles he's never even heard of to move.

"Hold on," Mirabelle's voice calls out. A wave of cooling Healing Craft rushes through them, and some of the soreness evaporates away. He sighs and lets his hand fall against his face.

"Wha happen?"

"Sif—you—well... a lot has happened. I don't even know where to begin." Isabeau trembles.

???

They press their palm to their eye.

His mind is filled with mud as he wades through it, picking up the pieces of his recent memory.

They were...in the house...about to fight the King and...

and...

His eye flies open, and he bolts upright.

"Where are we!? What happened to—!" He grimaces as all his muscles scream in protest. He falls back against strong arms, and he doesn't even have the energy to flinch at the contact.

"Whoa! I got you, Sif."

"The King is dead, Siffrin," Odile says.

"Dead?" It takes all he has to fight the tension in his body to open his eye a crack.

They look around. Everything is light. So, so bright. There's a cool breeze blowing in over the walls, and the sun feels warm and gentle on their skin. Their allies surround them, as does an incredibly tall woman with billowing, darkless hair he doesn't recognize. She watches silently off to the side with a curious expression on her face.

"Dead?" He repeats. "The King? Dead? Dead!?"

"Yeah, Sif!" Isabeau smiles, the waver is even stronger. "It's over, it's finally over! Vaugarde is safe! Everyone’s being unfrozen now!"

He's silent for a long moment, slowly looking between each one of their allies. All look relieved, tired, alive, but with a hint of something he can't quite place.

They defeated the King?

They—did they break the loops? Was that it? They're outside, not in the King's chamber. But they don't remember... any...

A shock runs through his body, and he flinches.

Clarity floods back into his mind. He bolts upright and nearly falls back down when his vision goes dark. A thousand images flash through his mind all at once.

Visceral blood fear pain pain fire teeth fire fire pain warm light nothing.

"Wait, Loop, Loop! Where are they what happened are they okay!?" They grimace, blinking away the darkness.

[Right here stardust~!]

"WAUGH!" Siffrin jolts out of Isabeau's arms and lands face down on the floor.

"Sif!"

They all cry out. Isabeau's hands hover over them but don't touch.

Groaning, they roll to their side.

"Easy, buddy. Do you need help up?" His hands are shaking.

Mirabelle edges closer, hands gripped together against her chest. "Do you need healing, Siffrin? Are you hurt?"

"Nnf, no, I got it. I'm good. I'm fine." They struggle into a sitting position beside Isabeau and hold their head in their hands.

[Whoopsies, tee hee~! Sorry about that! I'm sure you're pretty confused right now!]

They jump again with a choked sound but manage to stay upright that time.

"Loop!? You're in my head? And you're talking to—"

He gasps and looks at his allies.

"Sif!?"

"Siffrin, are you still possessed?" 

"Hey! Get out of Frin's head!"

Why did you say that? Why did you say that!?

[Oh, good job, stardust! Real smart move there!]

“Shut up!"

"Wha—"

"Not you! Them—I—hold on." He grips his head and curls over. "I need a minute."

"O-okay," Mirabelle worries.

"Tell us if they're hurting you, Sif. We'll find a way to get them out."

"No, no, it's fine. They're ok."

"Are you sure?" Mirabelle leans a bit closer.

They nod. "Just..."

[You can talk to me in your head, you know, you don't need to speak out loud. And don't worry, I still can't read your mind unless you consciously think at me… For the most part.]

(What are—how are you doing this?)

[Just a fun little rukemi perk when we expire! We can transfer our spirits to another being. If we want. I could have easily returned to the void of nonexistence, but you were about to be turned into a fine paste if I didn't act fast!]

(...Expire?)

(Oh.)

[Yep! Whoopsie! Bummer, isn't it? Hahah ahh h hah h . . .]

(Wait. So you... died and... possessed me? And fought the King? And... won?)

[Yep! Isn't that neat? Though we don't really call it possession. Twining is what we call it. Like intertwining.]

(What's the difference..?)

[Consent, obviously. Well... usually. I diiid plan on asking first, but again, paste prevention . And, as you can see now, I'm not currently in control of your flesh prison and won't be able to pilot it again for a while! I'll need my beauty rest to regain my energy as I burned most of it off when I took over earlier.]

(I need to lie down.)

[Well, I have good news! You're halfway there!]

(Not enough.)

[Tee hee, sorry, stardust. I know this is a lot to take in at once. Usually humans have the luxury of being educated on this whole thing before it happens, but as you may know, I'm a little ways from home right now and had to keep my mouth shut and self hidden.]

(Why?)

[Oh, silly, don't start assuming I'm going to blab all my top secret information now that I'm literally in your head. Just enough so you don't die of confusion~!]

...

Loop is silent for a moment. Siffrin takes the time to take some deep breaths, focusing on the strange, darkened bloodstains on their cloak. Their allies continue to hover around them; the tension radiating from them is palpable.

"Sif? You good?"

"Huh?"

"Oh, you weren't responding."

"I'm okay."

Odile speaks up. "Siffrin, you know this… creature?” She looks them dead in the eye, squinting, studying. 

"I—" He shifts back a bit. They all saw him; there’s no hiding now. 

He nods, squirming.

“Why didn’t you tell us about them?”

“M’Dame,” Isabeau says softly. “Maybe we should—”

Bonnie pushes forward. "YEAH FRIN! What was that!? That was so cool! And those weird shades too! Like their blood was all angry and everywhere and weird and creepy! And then that one in your eye well not anymore but it was like—" They pull their left eye wide open with their thumb and forefinger. “Light but like… over there somewhere!?”

“Huh!?”

[Weird… shades?]

"Bonbon, wait," Isabeau pleads.

(Yeah, like—)

Mirabelle closes in on him, hands clasped against her chest. "Are you okay, Siffrin? Do you need any more healing? They're not hurting you, are they? This isn’t permanent, I hope?"

His nails dig into his palm. They shrink in on themself.

Isabeau holds his hands up. "Okay, everyone, please, please let's hold off on the questions for Sif until later, okay?"

"Aww!" Bonnie pouts.

Odile sighs. "You're right, my apologies. You're probably still overwhelmed by everything; I can wait until later to... interrogate you, but not much later."

That’s not very reassuring. "...Thanks." 

Their allies all sit back and wait. The other, tall woman continues to sit off on the sidelines, watching curiously.

[Wow, so many questions about me! I'm really popular now, aren't I?]

(There's too much happening.)

[There sure is! Not surprising at all! Anyway.] Loop's 'voice' lowers into something smooth and even. [Guess what, stardust? You're stuck with me forever now. Just like you wanted! Yaayy...]

(Forever ?)

[Well, I can leave if you really don't want me, but there's no coming back from that. I'll just fizzle out into nonexistence if I do.]

(Wait! Don't. I—just give me some time. This is a lot.)

[Sure thing, stardust.]

(Loop.)

[Yes?]

(I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't mean to distract you. If I didn't say anything you—)

[Ah, it's no biggie, stardust!] He feels a little twinge in his chest. [I wasn't expecting to survive much longer anyway.]

(What!? What do you mean you weren’t expecting to survive!? Why did you do it?)

[Do what?]

(Fight the King, alone?)

[...]

(You always refused to help before. So why now? Was it because of last night?)

[... I don't want to talk about it.]

(... Please?)

[Nope!]

(Loop.)

[I said nope!]

(... Okay.)

[Anyway! You said something to me, before we twined. It seemed important.]

(Oh…) They close their eye, digging through the mire for the answer. (Well, I asked you why the blinding stars you would do that! And you said—) He pauses and digs his fingers above his eye. ( Something about being tired. And then—)

...

Do they say it? Loop's reaction was...

But he can't exactly hide it from them if they're literally in his head forever.

(... I found a Crafted shield spell for Mira.)

[A... shield spell? But we… Did it... work?]

(...It did. The King’s attack barely scratched the others, but... we were too far for the spell to reach.)

[...]

(Loop?)

[So was everything I just did pointless?]

(Loop…)

[Was it? Would you have defeated the piece of shit on your own this time!?]

(...Maybe I don't know.)

[So. Yes? ... Ha. Ha. Haha. Hahah hahahahhaHAHhhahahahh! Hhahahh ahhahahahh hahah! Ohohohaoh hahahhhah! Of course! Of course! Why would I expect anything different!? Of course! The moment I try to do anything everything all goes to shit! Why do I even try!? hHAhahh oh it's hahahah just so funny! Just a cosmic fucking joke I am! HhhahahahhHAHhahahhHAHHAHHA!]

The laughter reverberates through their mind so powerfully that it starts to bubble out of Siffrin’s throat as well. He has to grip his head and throat to force himself to shut up until their laughter fades into a high wine. He lets out a whine just like it.

"Siffrin!?" Mirabelle holds her hands out, hovering above his shoulders.

"Sif, are you okay?"

"What are they doing to you!?"

"I'm fine! I'm—this is just a lot to get used to."

"Do we need to find you an exorcist?"

"No. No. They're okay, really. They won't hurt anybody."

"Okay." Isabeau pulls his arms back to his sides.

"If you're sure." Odile scratches something in her notebook. “But I can’t say I trust anything about them, as it stands.”

"How are you feeling now?" Mirabelle asks quietly.

"Fine," He smiles.

"Are you sure?" she murmurs. "Do you need anything? More healing? A tonic?"

"I'm fi—" They rub their throat. Feels like a desert. "Water. Please."

"I got it!" Bonnie dives into their bag and pulls out a bottle and all but shoves it into Siffrin's face. "S' crafted water but it's hydrashing and that's what's important!"

"Hydrating, Boniface."

"Yeah, that. It's good water."

"Thanks, Bonnie," he smiles and pops the cork. He takes one sip, letting the cool liquid coat his throat, then downs the entire thing in seconds.

Oh, that feels much better. Still sore and disoriented, but not quite so intense.

(Loop?)

Nothing.

(Loop, are you still there?)

His chest starts to prickle with anxiety the longer the silence stretches. They didn't leave, did they?

(Loop!?)

[Yes.]

(Are you... okay?)

[Fine, stardust, I'm just dandy! Wonderful! Thanks for asking!]

(...)

[I don't wanna talk right now.]

(...Okay.)

[Go have your victory lap. You did it! You won! You defeated the King and broke out of the time loops, and now you have me as a buddy forever and ever or something! Wahoo!]

(Loop.)

No response.

Siffrin closes his eye and breathes deeply.

They... broke the loops? They did something? They got further than last time. They're out on the rooftop, and nothing seems wrong... aside from... well... everything regarding Loop.

Was that... all that was needed?

Did Mirabelle make the final hit then? Was that it?

Did they do it?

He...

Refuses to get excited.

It can't be that simple.

But they're here.

And nothing's happened yet.

He takes another breath and slowly, cautiously, stands up. They feel the buzzing of invisible bees flying around their chest.

Their allies stand with them. Isabeau and Mirabelle both hold their hands out toward him as he shakily rises to his full height.

"Sif..? Are you... okay now?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm great! We did it haha!"

Isabeau brightens, and the whole party seems to relax a bit. "Yeah!” he laughs. “We did! We defeated the King! Though it was mostly you and, uh, Loop, was it?"

Siffrin's smile wavers. "I hardly did anything."

"Either way, Siffrin," Odile sighs. "I'm glad to see you in one piece. But don't run off like that again, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Yeah, that was... really crabbing scary, Sif. I'm glad you and Loop are friends, but whew, seeing all that without context was too much for my delicate heart."

"Hahaha, are you sure you don't need Mira to heal you then, Isa?" they wink.

"Haha, no, I'm fine! Well, physically, at least." He scratches the back of his head.

Mirabelle bites her lip and looks away for a moment. "Oh, Siffrin! I'm so, so, so sorry I wasn't able to shield you back then."

"I-it's fine, Mira!" they chuckle. "Everything worked out, so don't worry about it at all!"

"But it still—you almost died, Siffrin. That attack was so powerful." She holds herself like a dog who’s just been caught doing something wrong.

"But I didn't die, so it's fine!"

"Siffrin." She squeezes her hands. "Well, thank you. Thank you all. I-I wouldn't have been able to do it without everyone here!"

She's met with a chorus of triumphant agreements and reassurances.

"I'm just so... th-thank you… And… Euphrasie…" She finally looks to the tall woman, who smiles and steps forward.

"Well," she says in a low, airy voice. "This certainly wasn't what I was expecting to find when young Mirabelle returned!"

"Neither did I!" Mirabelle almost yells. "I mean, I guess you heard all that, but it was a surprise to all of us, too."

"It seems so! But though the methods were unconventional and unexpected, you still defeated the King and saved Vaugarde. That's something to be proud of!"

"Yeah," she mumbles. "Yeah! You're right! The King is gone, and that's what matters in the end!"

The woman turns to Siffrin, smiling warmly, her head slightly tilted.

"Siffrin, was it? If I could speak to you for a quick moment?"

They jump, then nod. The others hover around him for a moment but eventually start to meander to different parts of the roof. He feels like he can breathe a bit better, but also...

"First, I want to extend my deepest condolences for the loss of your friend." She holds a hand to her chest and gives him a soft frown. "Their sacrifice was not in vain; if not for their and your combined efforts, young Mirabelle might have had to endure so much more to defeat him."

"...Right."

"And, it seems they are not truly gone?"

"Oh... no, they're not."

You already blabbed it all, can't hide it now. 

They still physically hide under their hat.

"They're in my head now. Haha..."

"Well, that is fascinating, and I do hope a good thing for the both of you."

"Haha, it'll be nice to have a second opinion on things from now on," they laugh, but it’s dry, empty.

The Head Housemaiden lets out an airy chuckle. "That sounds like it can come in handy. I would very much like to know more about them, but I’ll avoid interrogating you for now, as well. But first, what would you like us to do with their body? I've had my partner, Claude, close off the entrance to the King's antechamber and is currently studying it, but no doubt everyone is very curious about the destruction and the fate of the King."

He feels a shudder deep within him. 

[Oh stars ew, destroy it, destroy it completely until there's nothing left and don't let anyone else see it, and they better not keep any of my feathers or teeth or whatever parts they try to rip off me.]

"Cremate it," they murmur. "All of it. Right now. Don't let anyone look and don't save any parts."

"Understood,” she nods. “I will tell her right away. She may need help moving the body to the morgue, but I will have her cover it thoroughly and avoid any questioning about it."

[They have a morgue?]

"Thank you."

[Ugh, though, poking and prodding my body like I'm some sort of case study is just... she better not try anything.]

"Of course." She gives them a gentle bow. "I will be back shortly. In the meantime, why don’t you go talk to your companions? I'm sure you all have a lot to talk about. When I return, will you come see me again? I'd love to have a conversation with one of Vaugarde's saviors, after all!"

"Okay!"

He steps away and closes his eye, breathing deeply, letting himself shake off the ever-growing tightness in his entire body.

It's over. It has to be over. Whatever changed this time had to have done it.

But, what if...

No! It. Is. Over.

They glance at Odile, who's standing nearest to him, scribbling in her notebook.

She looks up when she hears him approach and gives him a sly smile. "Ahh... Siffrin. Woop woop, we did it, we won, etc." She stretches her back. "Urgh. Whatever."

"We did it, Odile," they smile.

We really did it this time, no going back. No. Going. Back.

She grabs her arm, raising it high over her head and leaning to her side. Siffrin can hear a few joints pop the further she goes. "This was... quite a workout. My entire body is screaming, even though you and Loop did all the work."

"Not all of it," they mumble. "You all did a lot, too. And we all would have been toast if Mira didn't have her shield."

"The shield she learned because of the hidden library you found." She raises an eyebrow, crossing her arms.

"...Right."

"Siffrin?"

He hides under his hat.

"I hope you know how much restraint I'm using not to pummel you with more questions right now. You can't blame me for being curious about how you know a talking, horse-sized, flying creature who bleeds a weird shade, can possess people, and can hold their own against the King."

“Hahah…” Their laugh is weak, and they grip their arm. “Well, as long as you’re pummeling me with questions and not your fists, later,” they shrug with a crooked smile.

"Ha!" she barks. "Well, everything worked out in the end, for the most part. So I can't be too upset about this little secret of yours."

"Pff, I get to live another day then," they snort, sticking their tongue out.

"Maybe just one more day," she huffs. "But really, if you need me to exorcise the friend in your head, let me know before I return to my travels in a few days. I'm sure I can figure something out."

He grips his arm. "They're fine. Really."

They're the one trapped with you, after all.

"If you say so. Personally, I wouldn't like someone just living in my head like that, even if they were a close friend."

As long as they can't actually read your horrible, disgusting thoughts.

"Just something to get used to!"

"Heh, you're really taking this in stride,” she smirks. “Offer's still open if you change your mind, though."

"Thank you." They hide.

Odile's smile falls, and she tilts her head. She won't stop staring. They pull their hat down.

She sighs. "Anyway. Savior of Vaugarde, huh? That's something to add to my list of accomplishments." She thumps her fingers on her book. "But now I can finally go back to traveling. I'd be curious to visit some more Vaugardian cities and hear what they have to say after an event like this." Her fingers still. "It'll be weird to travel alone now, but I'll get used to it again. Or I could just go home to Ka Bue... Hm..." She gazes at him pensively for a moment, running her nail down the spine of her book. "Or... Siffrin..."

"Yeah?" They look up quickly with the biggest smile they can muster.

She grimaces and glances away briefly. "...Never mind. I'm sure you're looking forward to getting back to your travels, too."

His eye twitches.

"Siffrin?"

"Yeah."

"Ah."

A pause.

"I'm going to go talk to the others, now."

A sigh.

"Alright, take care of yourself, Siffrin."

"You too."

They quickly turn to hide their falling smile and spot Bonnie gazing over the precarious railings. He wanders over. They look... sad? Kind of?

"Bonnie?" he asks cautiously.

They turn to him, eyes downcast. "Frin... It's... It's really over, right?" They look up. "Like, for real for real? It's over? The King is gone?" They're hugging themself.

"For real, for real, Bon." He lets his smile be as warm as he can.

Please let it be the truth.

They squeeze their arms. "So I can go back to Bambouche and see my sister again? She'll be okay? She'll move around?"

"I'm sure of it!" he beams.

They don't seem to believe it yet. Siffrin purses his lips and digs into his mind. He pulls a smug smile back on. "How about this? If she's not moving when you go see her, you can punch me three times."

They look off to the side, then nod. "... Deal." They gasp and squint at him. "Wait, that's such a long journey though!!! I'm not gonna go find you just so I can punch you if you're wrong!!! That's dumb!!!"

He sticks his tongue out. "Just as dumb as your sister not being okay when we just won!"

"Oh..." they gasp. "OH!!! YOU'RE RIGHT!!!!!" They point their finger right at Siffrin's face and shake their arm a bit. A huge, adorable grin spreads across their face. "Okay, then I'll believe you!!! Hopefully I won't have to walk forever to punch you!!!"

"Tee hee~!" They stick their tongue out.

Bonnie giggles a bit.

"But Frin, are you okay?"

"Huh?" He feels a chill blow through him.

"Like, the King almost got you! And the whole possessession thing! Like it was SUPER COOL seeing you—or them, I guess, fight, but it was also really scary. You—they—were all like woooo." They hunch over and wiggle their arms around. "And then waaah!" They mimic frantic stabbing. "And the King was all," they deepen their voice as much as they can, "aaaaugh noooooo~ bleh." They squeeze their eyes shut and let their head flop over with their tongue hanging out.

"Ah, haha, yeah! Just a bit jealous they managed to pilot my flesh prison better than I could!"

Bonnie scrunches their nose. "Ew, don't call it that."

His smile wavers.

"And, and also those shades! That was their blood, wasn't it? And your eye! Why was it like that?"

"...I don't know."

[..?]

(..?)

"Are you sad, Frin?" They squeeze their hands together.

"About what?"

"Well, they were your friend and now they're—well, they're not d—are they dead? But they're in your head now, so..."

He lets out a light chuckle. "Don't worry about me, Bonnie."

They squint at him. "You sure you're okay? They're gonna be nice to you, right? I can get Dile to exercise you if they're a crabhead!" They perk up. “Or! Or! Nille can beat the crab out of you if they take over until you’re you again if you come to Bambouche! She’s strong! That’s how you un-possess someone, right?”

"It's fine, Bonnie," he smiles. "Nobody needs to beat me up, please. Also, exorcise."

"Yeah, that." They raise their voice. "Loop! You better be nice to Frin! Don't make him do embarrassing stuff or look at his memories! That's mean!"

"Haha, they can't. It's okay."

"Good!" They cross their arms and nod, satisfied. "So what are they, anyway? Dile didn't let me get close to look. They're like a dog bird horse dragon creature. A Dogorseirdon."

"I dunno!" he lies. "I guess Dogorseirdon is as good a name as anything."

He feels another strange twinge in his chest.

(Loop?)

There's a groan in the back of their mind.

"Oh, also—"

"Boniface, don't pelt Siffrin with questions, give him some time to acclimate, please."

"Aw, okay. Sorry, Frin." They hang their head. "But, but you'll tell us more later, right?"

"Of course!"

"Okay!" They smile widely. "Everything's gonna be okay, okay?"

"Okay," his smile softens to something genuine.

But will it? Is this really the end?

Will it be okay?

Are they really free?

"I'm going to talk to Mira now." He points to her.

"Okay, bye, Frin."

He turns around and lets out another stiff breath.

Don't think about it.

It'll be fine. You're already past the King's room.

Just... enjoy your last moments with your allies. . .

He approaches Mirabelle, sitting on the bench with a complicated look on her face. She barely notices him as he sits down beside her. She turns to him and blinks once, twice, before she seems to realize he's there.

"Oh, Siffrin," she says with a gasp. "I'm—I'm not dreaming, am I? We won, didn't we? Are you sure? We really won?"

"We really won, Mira." At least that part is true.

"That was so scary. I didn't expect any of that to happen! I thought you were going to... because I... A-and when Loop, right? When they started talking in your body, I was so worried about what they were gonna try to do to you, or us! B-but they're okay, right? I mean not okay, like... I mean like nice, they're nice, right?"

"More or less," they shrug.

"More or less?" Her grip on her dress tightens.

Oh no, don't make her worry all over again!

"Haha, they're not going to harm anyone, Mira."

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, I know they're your friend and you've probably known them for a long time, but it's all so new to me! And—and I know I shouldn't bother you with questions now like Isabeau said, but I just wanted to make sure I didn't have to worry about anything new at least. Sorry."

"It's okay, Mira. I appreciate it."

She sighs and smiles with a small laugh.

"And you seem to be handling it well, I think. I know I wouldn't!"

"More or less," they repeat.

"Hah, I—I still can't believe it, I don't think I can believe it just yet, to be honest??? W-We fought the King and—and I feel like I hardly did anything! It was just you and Loop!"

"What? Mira, if it wasn't for your shield, we'd all have died."

"I—you're right but I wouldn't have learned it if not for you and still that was all I did and I still wasn't able to shield you two and you almost died because of it and they still did die and I barely got any hits in on the King because he blocked us in like that I felt like I went through this whole journey just to not do anything useful... at the very end when everyone's... expecting me to and..."

Oh no, she's shaking!!! She's crying!!! Do something!!!

"Mira. Mira. Breathe with me?"

"O-okay..." Her voice wavers. She grips her own hands so hard her knuckles lighten.

Together, they inhale slowly, then let it all out. He holds his hand to his chest and exaggerates his breaths until Mirabelle's slows and evens out to match.

"Hhah..." she sniffs. "Hahah hehe..."

"Huh?" His heart rate jumps.

"Oh, no, I'm just thinking..." She smiles so warmly, hands clasped together, tears in her eyes. You can be so nice, Siffrin."

He feels his cheeks burn.

"Oh, you're blushing!!! Siffrin!!! Oh!!!"

Oh no!

He hides in his cloak.

"Heh, you don't look like you believe it, but it's true! You know, um, um... Um!!! I know we haven't known each other for that long..."

...If only you knew, Mira.

"B-But I hope you know I really treasure your company! I do! I really really do!!!"

They can't hold back a small gasp.

"And so... Thank you! Thank you for accompanying me on this journey! ...I'm sure you're excited to go back to traveling on your own..."

...

"But don't forget me, okay?"

"I'll never forget you, Mira."

Hah! You'll forget her just like you'll forget Odile and Bonnie and Isabeau. You'll forget them all, no matter how hard you try! No matter how hard you cling to the scraps you have left.

Just like they'll forget you.

"Come see me at Dormont anytime! I'd love to hang out! Promise!!!"

Oh. Oh!

"I promise."

"Yay!" She claps her hands. "Okay, I won't hold you any longer, you probably want to finish talking and get washed up, don't you?"

"Hah, yeah, I could go for a nice bath." They scratch at a bloodstain on their cloak. The strange shade has dulled and darkened a lot, but is still very clearly wrong.

When was the last time you actually had a bath? Have you ever had a real bath?

"You can use my bathroom! Take as long as you need. I have plenty of soaps you can try!"

!!!

"Thank you, Mira." His chest tightens. "You're too kind."

"What? Aw, Siffrin. This is the very least I can do for you."

You don't even deserve that much.

...

Isabeau time.

He's standing by the railings, arms crossed, swaying lightly just like he does at the Favor Tree. He opens his eyes when he hears their footsteps and jumps slightly, then gives them the biggest grin.

"Sif!!! We did it!!!"

They smile back.

Don't think about it. He's right. He's right!

"We did it, Sif, we did it! We did it! We stopped the King! We can finally go back to our normal lives! Isn't it great???" His warm smile fades, and he looks at them with concern. " Will you be able to go back to your normal life? With uh..?" He taps his head with his finger.

"Oh. Yeah!" They smile. "They're fine. It's like they're not even there!"

"Oh, okay, that's good at least." Isabeau's lips twitch. "They are still there, right?"

"Yep."

"Okay. I'm glad they're not completely gone, and you still have them with you. I mean, that is good, right?"

"Yeah." He clutches his chest.

"Okay, phew." He wipes his brow. "Okay, good. Man, I have so many questions, like how'd you become friends with such a cool creature!? And how'd they even do that? I mean—er—if you're okay with that. Sorry, don't wanna overwhelm you. If you're feeling better before we go our separate ways, is it okay if I ask more?"

They hide in their cloak. "I'll tell you what I can. They're pretty private. Not sure how much they'd want me to share."

"Ah. That's okay. Understandable." He scratches his arm. "I'll back off, then." He is visibly sweaty. "Really, though, that was pretty scary. I thought you—never mind. Are you sure you feel safe, um, traveling on your own now?"

"Mhm," they smile. “I’m fine, really.”

"And I'm glad. I'm so glad." His eyes seem to glisten in the light. They feel something stir in their chest at the sight. “But um, Sif?”

“Yeah?”

“Ah, don’t worry about it, I trust your judgment. Anyway! Uh! Your cloak! Do you want me to wash it for you?”

They glance back down at the stains. Oh right. Still there, still vaguely threatening.

“That would be nice.” They hide in their collar. “Thank you.”

“Of course! Anytime!” He squeezes the back of his neck, face darkening. He looks happy.

Oh!

They're at the end! They beat the King! That means Isabeau can finally say the thing he's been trying to say for the last thirty million nights!

Siffrin leans a bit closer. "You wanted to tell me something? At the Clocktower?"

"Huh? OH! HAHA!" He clutches his arm, looking away. "Yes! I did! Um. Okay." He takes a deep breath. "Okay, so. The thing. I said I would tell you. Is... Is..."

Isabeau stares at them thoughtfully.

"Eh, it's not important."

Huh?

He feels a punch to the gut. "What? Why?"

"Because! You've been through a lot today. I don't want to overwhelm you with this on top of everything else."

The invisible hand digs its knuckles into his stomach. "But I'm fine, Isa. You can tell me now."

"It's okay, Sif! Later, okay?"

They bite their cheek. "But you can still tell me now ."

"Wow, you're really curious about it, huh?" he chuckles. "But nope! I will not say a thing!"

They hold back a scream.

"Oh! But I will say something, though." He beams like the sun. "...I'm glad we're friends, Siffrin!"

Friends? They lightly gasp and tilt their head. They feel a sigh that is not their own try to force its way out of their chest.

"Sif?"

They blink and grin widely. "...I'm glad we're friends too, Isa." He wraps his arms around himself.

Isabeau gasps and grabs his arm again. There are dark finger marks from the last squeeze. "Oh! Oh...! Aw. Aw!!! AW!!!!!! Oh, crab, I think I might cry. Haha! ...We're friends!"

Friends.

Isabeau thinks you're his friend!

His cheeks are so dark. They're sure theirs are too.

They both smile.

"Okay, well. I'll let you go then. I'm sure you wanna finish talking with the others and have a nice long bath and a nap."

Wouldn't that be nice?

"That sounds nice," they smile. "Bye, Isa."

They glance over their shoulder as they walk away and almost, almost see his smile fade as he falls out of view.

The Head Housemaiden stands in the center of the balcony, tall and imposing, watching a bird flutter by. There’s a slight tint of the weird shade at the hem of her dress that touches the ground.

They don't know why they have a sense of unease looking at her... maybe it's just her towering height, she's huge!

He meanders over and stands before her, craning his neck to even see her face.

The bird flies out of view, and she looks back to see them standing there. She smiles.

"Traveling one! Are you done talking with your companions?"

They nod.

"Yes, wonderful, wonderful! I'd like to thank you for accompanying young Mirabelle this far. I'm very grateful."

"I would do it again in a heartbeat."

And again.

And again..

And again...

"Siffrin, yes?" She clasps her hands together, much like Mirabelle does. "If there's anything I can do to thank you, please don't hesitate to let me know! I know you will go back on your travels soon, but I do hope you'll keep in touch, if only for young Mirabelle... But no matter what, know that Dormont will always be open to you! Please come back... any... time..."

She gasps and freezes. Her eyes go wide, and she clasps her hands in front of her mouth. Siffrin feels a chill rush into his chest.

"Oh... Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no..."

What?

[What the..?]

(Loop?)

"Oh... Siffrin...!" She cries, tears already streaming down her face. "I'm so sorry! There's no way we can stop it now...!"

The air around them feels weird.

His stomach drops.

He tries to move, but—

No! NO no no no no NO NO NOT AGAIN NO!

[Stardust what's going on!?]

(I don't know! It's the same as before! Why? Why? Why!?)

"I'm sorry! You'll be going back! Back when everything started!"

They taste burnt sugar in the back of their throat.

"What do you mean? What's happening?!?"

"I know you thought your quest was over, but it can't be!" She continues on as if he hadn't even spoken.

"No. No! Please don't send me back again! I can't do this again!"

"Something's broken, something's failing, rotting!!!"

"What did I do wrong? Why am I still trapped here!? Listen to me!"

(We made it further than last time! Did Mira not make the final hit?)

[...]

(Loop?)

[No... We did.]

(...)

They can't move. He can only watch as the Head Housemaiden cries and her image warps. "I can't fix it on my own, not before it all ends... If only I had noticed sooner!!! I should've seen it, prevented it!!!"

They feel a tug on their stomach. They want to run, to scream, to fight back, but they're frozen.

(Loop, why didn't you—no! No, please, do something! Please! I can't go back, no no no no!)

[I can't! I can't do anything! I don't know either!]

"No, no please, please, not again please don't do this! Please please please no more! Please!"

"It's my fault that you have to suffer like this.

                                                  I just hope that one day...

                                                                               You might learn to for—"

The grass pokes at his face.

...

Ah.

Of course.

Of course, you can't rest!

Not even a little bit!

Why would you expect anything else?

Oh! Here come the thoughts again!

Here we go!

Tee hee~!

Ohh!

That was awful!

And stupid!

You're stupid!

They JUST warned you about that, and you went and got yourself melted into a Frin puddle! Burning spicy Frin soup! Cooked from the inside and out, sliced and diced into fine pieces, pulverized until tender! Serve with a tall glass of tears!

Taa hee~!

Just like that!

Frin puddle!

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHhA

Hahahah hahhhaha

...

Welp.

...

...

...

Mirabelle will be here soon.

....

...

...

Back to it, Siffrin. You have a... something to do...

Or whatever.

>>>

He stands before the Favor Tree. Their interactions with the Housemaiden and Fighter went smoothly for once—or maybe he was just too numb to notice anything different aside from the weird hand thing Isabeau did again.

Taking a breath, they step into the darkness.

Loop time.

At least there's still memories to recover.

For now.

He blinks a few times to adjust his eye and looks up. Loop sits in their spot in the Favor Tree, peering down at them with that same confused expression.

Siffrin clambers up to their own seat and plops down with a sigh.

Already a routine.

He looks at Loop. They blink and tilt their head.

He waits.

"Hmm, stardust, I believe. I have a feeling I should—"

"Yes, yes, you should know me, we met before. You're a rukemi. You call yourself Loop. I'm a human. I call myself Siffrin. I'm stuck in a time loop, and you forget like ninety-nine percent of what I say. We're trying to kill the King. We keep dying. Can't even blinding get back to fight him again."

"Ah. Well. Okay. Uhm." Their ears fold back, and feathers on their face puff out fully. They look around wildly and wince, paw flying to their face, over their destroyed eye. "Well. Yes. Okay. Yes, the time loops make a lot more sense now, but I still can't say I'm one hundred percent convinced I'm not just a brain in a jar or in a video game or something.”

"A what?" Their eyebrow twitches upward.

"Never mind. Anyway! I said I would help you, didn't I? I think?"

He grumbles and nods.

"Well, I seem to be failing pretty terribly at that, aren't I?" They let out a nervous chuckle and dig their claw into the bark. The feathers on their face seem to deflate, and they look off beyond the leaves.

Siffrin sighs and lowers their head.

"Well, the uh... 'chemical warfare' idea you had is pretty good if I could blinding get to the King without getting myself killed horribly."

"Chemical warfare??? Did I really suggest war crimes?" Their head seems to sink into their shoulders as their ears flatten. "Well... he is a King, so I guess it cancels out." They shrug and ruffle the feathers on their shoulders.

"He deserves so much worse."

"Right," Loop says. "So."

Siffrin sighs and hits his head on the trunk. He digs his fingers into his arm; they can almost feel their skin still burning under their glove.

"Sooo," Loop repeats. "This is where you tell me your life story, isn't it?"

"Hrm."

"Ooor we can just sit here in silence while you admire my beautiful plumage."

"Just...give me a minute." They close their eye and sigh.

They can't help themself again; they can feel the manic desperation bubble up from within them as they start to recount their time in the loops. It seems to take a bit longer for them to pick up steam, but as soon as they catch a whiff of a buried memory, they take off on their wild tangents once again.

If only Loop could remember.

If only he could just skip talking about the loops entirely.

Just have a little more time, not thinking about them.

Ugh.

As the memories taper off once again, and Siffrin slumps breathlessly in his seat, Loop simply blinks and coughs.

"Hm, well, I see now how I might have suggested spraying him with drain cleaner."

"Yes, so what other suggestions do you have?" he rasps, massaging his throat.

"Well," they open their mouth. They close it and put a paw to their head, grimacing. "More drain cleaner?"

He slams his head against the tree, harder this time. "What if it's not enough? What if nothing's enough? None of the books I found have anything useful! What if I'm just walking us all back to our deaths another thousand times? I can't keep doing this, do you know how to feels to die?" He runs his nails down the bark again and again until his nails chip and fingers bleed.

"Well...not physically," Loop mutters, poking at a beetle. "But! You said you haven't faced him again since we've met. So it's too early to give up hope, don't you think?"

"I gave up hope a long time ago. I don't even know why I'm bothering with this." Their body slumps against the trunk, and they slide down.

"Wow. Grim. And I thought I was bad."

"Huh."

"Nothing, nothing! Just keep chipping away, stardust! You can't fuck it up every time!"

"Wow, thanks."

Loop sighs. "I'm sorry. I don't want to be here any more than you do." Their voice is low, defeated, but they immediately perk up and curve their eye upward in a smile. "But I guess we're both stuck now!"

Siffrin grumbles.

Another sigh. "I'm sure your party will be more useful than I am with this. Maybe try talking to them this time. Just the once?"

"No," they say flatly. "I can do this on my own."

"You say that, yet you just said you gave up hope."

Siffrin grumbles again while ripping a piece of bark off and tossing it.

"It's getting late. I should get back." They slide off the branch and hop to the ground. Loop says nothing, but he can see them waving from the corner of their eye.

>>>

Dinner time.

Tastes like ash.

The Hous—Mirabelle says her speech. Agree to follow her to the end of time. Keep smiling.

Group hug.

Without you.

>>>

Isabeau tries to tell them that thing again. The thing he chickens out of saying every time.

At least they're acting normal enough, he's bringing it up again.

>>>

House time.

Second pillar on the right.

Crash!

Keys. Doors. Spike trap. Go around. Get poison. More traps. Keep smiling.

Safe room. Sit and rest while friends talk about—

"BECAUSE IT'S SNACKS TIME, BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!"

Huh?

Siffrin blinks away their stupor and sees Bonnie rush off to the corner of the room. He rubs his eye as they pull out a massive amount of snacks from their bag.

He tilts his head.

Okay, this is definitely new.

Everyone else is sitting in their usual spot. But Bonnie never made snacks before. Right? There was just the candy and snack they had on the only loop they defeated the King... Oh, and those fruit slices they insisted Siffrin try whenever he caught them eating in the classroom.

The ones that killed him.

Several times.

What were they again? Apples? No. Pineapples.

He scratches his throat.

"...Oh, I remembered something." Odile reaches into her pocket. "Isabeau, heads or tails?"

"Huh?" He pauses, wiping a small scuff on his shoe. "Um... Tails!"

Odile flips a coin high in the air; everyone but Bonnie watches it spin an impressive number of times before she catches it and slaps it down on the back of her hand.

"...Huh. I lost," she shrugs and gives the coin a quick spin before pocketing it.

"Yay!" He cheers and claps for himself. "What do I win?"

"The sweet taste of victory and nothing else."

"I don't even get congrats? Wow m'dame... I thought we were friends..."

"We're not friends," she huffs and rolls her eyes with a smirk.

What?

Siffrin raises their head.

"We're associates."

His blood runs cold. They lock on to Odile, eye wide.

"Not companions?" Isabeau pouts, fluttering his eyelids.

"Colleagues. Allies, at best."

Allies?

"Not even..." Isabeau and Odile's voices fade into background noise. Siffrin freezes. His breath stutters. He—

Allies?

They think of you as just allies?

This whole time?

Not friends.

Just allies.

Just.

Allies.

Allies!

ALLIES!?

...

...

...

They take in a sharp breath. His lungs burn. He can't—he can't—

Of course.

Of course!

Why would they think of you as more than an ally?

You should be grateful they even think of you as that!

If they knew—if they KNEW how many times you failed them. How many times you brought them to their deaths!

If they knew!

They wouldn't even think of you as that!!!

Failure!

Useless!

Selfish!

Manipulative!

'Allies' is more than you deserve.

But still...

He digs his nails into his chest.

Still!

You actually thought!

This whole time, you still thought you all were friends!

Allies!

Just!

Just allies!!!

...

...

...

"SIF!"

"HUH!?" Siffrin nearly jumps out of his skin as he's torn from his mind. Catching himself with hands slamming hard on the tile, he focuses back in to see Isabeau, Bonnie, and Mirabelle crowding around them with Odile close behind.

Isabeau holds his hands up and backs away. "Ah! Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you like that but you were breathing really hard and not responding to any of us." He pauses to catch his breath. "Are you okay?"

Siffrin blinks.

What? Where are you now?

Oh, right, first floor safe room.

...

Allies.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" they smile. "Is everybody done with their snacks? We should probably move on."

"Uh, Bonbon hasn't handed them out yet." Isabeau exchanges glances with the others. "Sif, are you—"

"Yep! I was just thinking!"

"About?"

They open their mouth...

...

"I forgot!"

Everyone frowns. Isabeau clenches and relaxes his hands.

"Anyway! Let's eat! I feel good about this fight!"

At the very least, you'll get to burn his blinding eyes out.

Odile sighs. "Okay, Boniface, what snacks have you prepared for us?"

"LOTS! I HAVE LOTS OF SNACKS!!!! Guaranteed to make you full and boost moral!"

"Morale, Boniface."

Allies.

"That's what I said! Anyway! Today, I have..."

They dig into their bag and produce...

"Some PLANTAIN CHIPS!!!!"

"Oooh, did you use the last of those not-bananas to make them?"

"Yes. Yes, I did." They nod proudly. "Crunchy. Delicious. And full of potassium.” The snacks rattle in their hands. “That's plantain chips!!!"

Everyone begins to clap. Siffrin joins in absentmindedly.

Just allies.

"Second snack is..." They dig into their bag again. "Some boring but delicious cookies!!!

"Cookies!!!"

Their allies ' voices start to fade into nothing.

"Great sales pitch, Bonbon. 'Boring but delicious. Cookies, the taste of home.'"

>>>

"FRIN!"

"HWAH???

"YOU BLANKED OUT AGAIN! WHAT SNACK DO YOU WANT?"

"Oh! Uh!"

Stars, what was the third one? Or the second, or first?

Boring but delicious.

"Cookies, please!" They smile.

"Okay! Here! You! Go! Get your moraaaaaaaaale up! Up! Up!"

"Thank you!" They take a small bite of the cookie. It doesn't taste like nothing, at least. In fact, it tastes halfway decent!

"Siffrin, are you sure you're okay?" Mirabelle leans a bit closer to them and bites at a bit of dead skin on her lip.

"Yep!" he says while spraying cookie crumbs everywhere. "Just hungry! Feeling better already with Bonnie's amazing cooking!"

"Really!? It's that good? I mean of course it's that good! If it can cheer Frin up when they're feeling like crab, you know it's good!" They cross their arms and give a triumphant nod.

"It is good, Bonbon!" Isabeau takes a big bite of his rice triangle thing. He jumps. "Are these apple slices?"

"Yep! I saw Dile put plum in some a while ago, so I figured I'd try putting another fruit in there!"

They turn to Odile, who had just taken a tiny bite from hers.

She stares at the rice triangle.

Just...allies.

"It's okay, Dile. I know you're old and don't like change, so I have one with a plum if you want."

"Thank... You."

Just...

>>>

They're at the door to the third floor.

Siffrin removes the key from his pocket without dropping any of the caustic chemicals.

But...

There's still that sadness up ahead. Even if they don't get ambushed like a blind idiot, he still could break some of the bottles in the scuffle.

They should hand them off to Bonnie, but...

"Wait here."

"Huh?"

Siffrin dashes back to the nearest room.

Nope.

Next.

Nope.

Next.

Ah!

He spots a few coats hanging by the door. They swipe them all and rush back.

"What was that all about, Siffrin?" Odile narrows her gaze.

They start pulling bottle after bottle out of their pockets and line them up on the bench.

"What."

"Uhm, I was thinking. We should probably use any boost we can get in our fight."

"And you thought of using caustic chemicals?" She taps her book. "That's actually not a bad idea, Siffrin."

Bonnie squints at one of the labels. "You're gonna put soaps and stuff on the King? That's so funny! But why?"

Odile pulls out her notebook and scans the bottles. "Some of these, when mixed, can be incredibly caustic and can potentially blind him or cause respiratory distress."

Bonnie gasps and scoots closer to the bench. "Whoa. That's so cool!"

Isabeau already begins rearranging the bottles. "Yeah, some of these can burn! Great thinking, Sif!" He smiles at Siffrin for a brief moment before quickly turning back when they notice his darkening cheeks.

"Just want our fight to go as smoothly as possible!" They smile wider.

Mirabelle picks at her fingernail. "I don't know, that seems a bit cowardly to fight him like that."

"Mirabelle." Odile looks over her book. "This is The King we're talking about. The one who froze your home and country in time. The one who locked himself away at the top of the House that had to be opened with orbs spread across the entirety of Vaugarde?" She readjusts her glasses. "

"Yeah...yeah! You're right!" Her expression hardens with determination. "Let's burn his gross face right off!"

"That's the spirit, Mira!" Isabeau pats her on the back. She seems to relax and let her hands fall to her side.

"Yeah! Burn it right off!" Bonnie cheers with their fists raised high.

Odile chuckles. "Let's be careful not to influence our gentle Mirabelle too much. We don't want her entering her villain era just yet."

"Hee hee!" Mirabelle covers her mouth with a hand and bats her eyes cutely.

"Evil Belle! What evil things will she do!?"

"Haha, yeah Mira! What are your plans for world domination?"

"Uhm..." She looks a little unsure again. With a little gasp, she looks at Isabeau and Bonnie with a smirk. "Secret~!"

"Aw boo!" Isabeau and Bonnie say in unison.

"Okay, okay, reigning this back in, children. We still have a ways to go." She ignores everyone's pouts and nods at the coats Siffrin gathered. "I'm assuming you grabbed those to prevent any accidents?"

He shrugs and nods. "Wouldn't want to turn into a Siffrin puddle if a sadness hits us out of nowhere!"

Bonnie scrunches their nose. "Hahha, eww, Frin puddle!"

"It would probably be best if Boniface were to carry the bottles. We can make a makeshift bag with this coat here so they can easily drop it and run if need be."

"Yes! I get to hold the poison!"

>>>

Huh?

Oh!

Okay!

They're moving, finally!

Through the door.

Don't zone out!

There's the sadnesses nearby!

Don't! You! Forget!

They slow down as they near the hall they were ambushed in last time.

As expected, they hear faint shuffling from ahead.

Holding their hand out, they pull out their dagger. The others catch on and prepare.

And there they are. Not even looking at them!

They look weird, though, like two halves of a person.

Siffrin locks onto the paper type and just attacks.

It wails and thrashes around—the other one, a rock type, whips around and barrels forward, but Odile is ready with her Paper Craft.

The shorthaired one lashes out and hits Isabeau square in the chest. He stumbles back with a wheeze but manages to stay on his feet.

They're strong.

The long-haired one hits Odile with a rock move. It still sends her flying against the wall despite her resistance.

Bonnie darts in and out with tonics, bag of poison tucked safely behind a pillar.

Stronger than any other sadness they've faced in the House.

By the time they've finished, they're all shaking and out of breath and down half of their tonics.

"Please tell me there's no more of these before the King."

Well, if the House is what you remember, then...

"I hope not," Mirabelle mumbles while healing a big scrape on Isabeau's arm. "We should move forward and collect ourselves. I feel like there's a safe place to rest up ahead."

They all nod and hobble on forward. Bonnie nearly forgets the bag.

Just as Mirabelle assumed (and as Siffrin remembered!), they arrive at the same room that's been etched into his mind after every single time they died to the King.

The four of them lean against the wall and sink to the floor.

They all take turns tending to one another, Mirabelle with her healing Craft and the others with wash cloths, medicine, and bandages.

He starts to...

>>>

"Okay! ARE WE READY FOR SNACKS TIME!?"

Again?!

They blink to awareness as Bonnie once again runs off to the corner of the room. He forces himself to focus as their allies talk about their (forever impermanent) deaths, as Bonnie hands out their selection of snacks, as he nibbles on a madeline, which doesn't taste completely like ash, still.

It's new. It's new. They know there weren't snacks here or in the last safe room. But why???

Ugh. Why does it matter? Snacks! Enrichment!

What else are they supposed to be expecting from now on?

They brush off all the crumbs and head out.

Okay. Nothing too weird yet.

Just...

THE ROOM WITH THE WINE IS GONE!

Ughhhhhh.

Whatever. It's not like you remember to drink it half the time anyway.

Okay, sadness again. A little easier to kill after the experience from that last fight.

Kitchen looks different.

She didn't get upset over the plates. That's a plus.

Even more sadnesses.

Ah, the torch, at least this room didn't vanish, too.

Okay. Hair time.

Fwoosh!

>>>

Siffrin is ripped back into consciousness at the sounds of clinking glass.

They're in the final safe room.

Odile takes inventory of the bag of tonics. "I'm more convinced Siffrin's idea was the right call after the sadnesses we've encountered."

Nobody's asking—demanding to know what's wrong with him.

"Yeah! Brutal but effective!"

They envision Isabeau holding onto his hands, warm grip like steel, sweat soaking through their gloves in a weirdly comforting way.

"Hopefully," Mirabelle adds.

Isabeau pats her on the back. "It'll be okay, Mira. We've got this!"

Siffrin nods automatically.

They imagine her hands cupping their cheeks, her fingers brushing just below his scarred eye.

"Yes. I am feeling optimistic about this battle, despite our roadblocks on the way up."

He thinks about her ruffling his hair and struggling to comfort him in her own way.

"Yeah! And I've got SNACKS for one last SNACK TIME! WOO!"

Well...at least there's that. Though it's not exactly personal anymore.

They smile and nod through Bonnie's spiel and—

His nose twitches.

"And, um, the last snack..."

Bonnie cautiously collects the next option.

Another aromatic wave hits Siffrin and he salivates for the first time in Universe knows how long.

"Okay, I've never tried it before, but—"

"Ma—!" He... can't remember their name but can't forget that smell!

"Malanga fritters!" Bonnie says.

"!!!" Siffrin reaches out, and without another word, Bonnie hands him a napkin wrapped around a large helping of them.

They stare.

So crispy and greasy! Just like they were back—

There's a twinge behind their missing eye.

<<<

So crispy and greasy. They look so good!

He fishes out the biggest one and brings it to his mouth.

He takes another long sniff.

And pauses.

They're going to taste like ash, aren't they?

No. Not completely, the other snacks didn't!

But...

Bonnie is watching them intently.

You can't disappoint them!

Just pretend you dropped them in the dirt, but still are going to eat them because they're so good!

"What's wrong, Frin? Are you worried I messed them up? Because I promise I worked really hard on them! So they'll have to be good!"

"What? No! No, I know they're good, it's just..." Think, Siffrin. "It's been a while."

A long, long, long while.

Bonnie's head tilts.

Siffrin shoves an entire fritter in his mouth and bites down with a nice crunch.

Ignore the ash. Ignore the ash. Ignore the ash!

It's good. It's good. It's good!

"Well!?" Bonnie leans forward.

"Mmmmpphfhfh." Siffrin nods.

Malanga fritters.

It's been so long.

They chew slowly and focus on the surviving flavor.

They feel like they're going to cry.

Something new—something...

Not at all like the previous time in that room. Nothing like the time that led to them finally killing him.

Everything's different! There's no way you could have replicated last time anyway!

But it's fine! It's not like you have to when you won't ever be close enough to get hit with that one attack tee hee~!

They look at their hands to see nothing but crumbs and a thin shine of grease.

The lingering flavor slowly sours into an aftertaste.

They're still hungry.

>>>

"Okay. Do you all remember the plan?" Odile taps on the largest bottle.

Bonnie furiously nods. "Yeah! We go up to him and pretend we're going to have a fair fight, then BOOM! ACID IN THE FACE!"

"Technically, most of these are bases, but yes, essentially."

"You're a bases."

"Boniface ." Odile pinches the bridge of her nose. "Anyway, yes, aim for the face or anything exposed, throw, and run. Isabeau and I will be waiting right behind this door as backup if things go sour. Do not taunt the King. Do not converse with him. Do not give him any chance to turn it back in his favor."

Bonnie is nearly bouncing on their feet. "We’re gonna crab him up so bad he won’t know what hit him!!!"

Both Siffrin and Mirabelle take a deep, slow breath and nod.

He pats the bottles under their cloak, picks his head up high, and walks through the door.

As always, the King kneels before a nest of his own darkless hair.

Don't forget. Don't forget. Don't forget. MIRA has to deal the final hit. SHE'S the chosen one, not you.

You just have to make sure there's a first hit.

The walk to the King is long and tedious, as always.

Breathe in, and out.

Don't get your hopes up.

But.

It has to be.

It has to be it.

But.

Don't get your hopes up.

It is hopeless, after all.

But it has to be it!

It has—

"Ah...... ah......"

They stop before the King and glare. Their fingers twitch.

"Oh...... Young ones......"

He lowers his fists to scan the party.

"Are you...... here to kill me......? With just two of you............? And a child........?"

"Yep." Siffrin whips the bottles from his pockets with zero fanfare and chucks them directly into the King's face. They both make contact with a satisfying shatter. Bonnie's hits immediately after—before he even has a chance to cover his face.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH WHAT IS THIS?"

He doubles over as Mirabelle's bottles shatter at his feet. He takes one step before crashing to the floor with a resounding slam. The sounds of his rattling armor echo throughout the room almost as loud as his wails

"Run!"

The three of them take off as the King screams and flounders like a newborn fawn on ice. He hurls curse after curse at them, fumbling to regain his footing, remove a gauntlet, and wipe the chemicals from his eyes.

Closer, closer. Odile and Isabeau wave them on and slam the door behind them.

Everyone stands there, panting heavily for a moment. Even Isabeau seems winded.

Bonnie runs in place and waves their arms. "Hahah, oh crab! That was awesome! And scary! Scary awesome!"

"I can't believe that worked!" Isabeau peeks through the door. "He's still thrashing around out there. I don't even think he can follow us if he tried; his hair's tangled in everything!"

"And he keeps slipping!" Bonnie points and laughs.

"Oh, I hope he doesn't collapse the floor." Mirabelle worries.

"It is possible, but..." Odile glances out. "He's sitting back down trying to wipe it off now."

Siffrin's back hits the wall, and they slide down with a slow exhale.

It worked?

They take another breath.

It worked!

Hahaha! Was it really that simple?

No. No. Don't get your hopes up, Siffrin. That's when everything falls apart.

But...

He scoots closer to the door and peeks out.

Just like Isabeau said, the King is on his knees, furiously wiping his face with a massive hand. One gauntlet is discarded by his side.

The smile that creeps on their face is not forced, for once.

Even if they don't kill him this time...

At least there's some joy they can glean from making him suffer just a fraction of what he's put them all through.

Hahah! Burn till you're nothing more than a pile of regolith dust!

They want to watch him melt into a King puddle, but Odile closes the door and clears her throat.

"If the curse wasn't only a few hours away, I would have suggested waiting it out and letting him succumb to infection. But as it stands, I wouldn't want to gamble on us being frozen and leaving Mirabelle on her own if he does manage to recover."

"Right." Mirabelle clasps her hands to her chest and nods.

"It'll be okay!" Isabeau smiles. "It'll be an easy peasy fight."

"Lemon squeezy?" Bonnie's eyes seem to sparkle with hope.

"Lemon squeezy!" He gives them a thumbs up.

"Then we got this!" They cheer with their fists in the air.

"Don't get too brash," Odile chastizes. "He's still dangerous even blinded and burned."

Bonnie grumbles, but the others nod slowly.

"You okay, Sif?"

"Huh?" They blink a few times and see Isabeau hovering over him.

"You okay?" He tilts his head.

"Yeah!" They realize they have their cloak bunched up in their fists. He lets go.

The others have stopped talking and are now looking at them.

They smile wider. "Really! Hey, he's not thrashing so much, we should probably head out now before it gets too quiet."

Odile narrows her gaze. "Right," she sighs. "Everyone caught their breath?"

The party nods, Siffrin a little too forcefully.

Odile, Mirabelle, and Bonnie slowly creep out the door. Isabeau puts his hand on it and turns back to Siffrin, voice low.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Of course! A-okay and ready Freddy!" They whisper-yell.

Isabeau's smile wavers. He studies them. Scrutinizes him. But then he exhales, nods, and heads out the door.

Siffrin gives his aching cheeks a quick massage and follows.

The King is up ahead, looking like a mess. They can hear his ragged breathing from halfway across the room. Every few moments, he lets out a set of wheezing coughs. He's still sobbing like a child, like he didn't freeze an entire country and kill Siffrin and their friends allies a thousand times.

Closer. Closer.

The King doesn't seem to notice them. They hold their weapons at the ready.

Closer.

The party reaches the border of his trembling shadow and line themselves up along it. They silently power each other up, mouthing the words in order to channel some of the Craft energy out.

Odile raises a hand.

Three.

Siffrin grips their dagger.

Two.

Isabeau clenches his fists.

One.

Mirabelle raises her rapier.

GO!

With a practiced synchrony, the four of them let off their strongest attacks all at once. They all connect with his mottled face and hands, tearing into his skin and splashing blood in every direction.

He wails again and thrashes out at them, but the party dodges back with ease.

"Saviors!" He bellows. "DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE YOUR COWARDLY TACTICS ARE ENOUGH TO DEFY THE UNIVERSE’S WILL?”

Siffrin attacks again before anyone else is close to ready with theirs.

"Ohhhh... ohhhhh............... You know........." He stops to cough and cough.

He's still not attacking.

"It still won't be enough..."

Wait.

He raises both hands, dark splotches etch his fingers and palms, raw and weeping.

Of course.

Siffrin lowers their dagger.

It's never enough.

The King snaps his fingers.

[ Y o u   s e e   a   v i s i o n   o f   t h e   f u t u r e ]

Every cell in their body alights in fire as their mind is smashed in from every direction.

Everyone hits the tiles with nothing more than a grunt.

Why, why, why?

Siffrin can't move—can't even make a sound.

We're so close!

We—

Of course, he could still use that attack! It hits everything! He doesn't need to aim!

Stupid stupid!

"Ohhhhhh ohhhhh Saviors........... You thought it was enough." He flexes his gauntlet. "All you have done was prevent me from viewing my perfect ending. I will still rest easy knowing Vaugarde will be frozen in eternal perfection............... even if I can no longer see it.............."

The others lay there silently. Isabeau and Odile both hold their finger to their lips.

Oh.

There's still a chance.

Mirabelle's fingers twitch.

If Mira can just recover enough to...

Yes. Yes, you just have to hold on long enough.

Isabeau is smiling at them. His eyes are hazy, and blood slowly trickles from a gash on his brow.

Siffrin blinks slowly, his lips twitch upward just a fraction. It's all they can do.

Just wait. Just wait.

Breathe in. And out.

The sound of heavy footsteps makes their blood run cold.

Shit!

"Boniface stay back!" Odile screams.

SLAM.

The wet sound of shattering bones echoes through the cavernous room. They can't see her body over Isabeau, but they can picture the scene perfectly.

No! No, no, no!

No!

Stars. Stars blind it all!

Even if we win this time...

Bonnie skids to a halt and freezes. A tonic tumbles from their grasp and shatters in front of them. Their hands slam over their mouth, nails digging into their skin.

"Dile?" they squeak.

Odile can only manage a single wheeze before she goes silent. The King's fist drips a trail of blood as he pulls back.

Bonnie! They're still out of range. Please, please don't move, don't move, don't move.

"Ohhhh............... Saviors.............. Some of you are still breathing........? Ohhhhhh... What a pity for you all.........”

Isabeau squeezes his eyes shut and bites his lip. Blood trickles from his mouth as he breathes deeply. Opening them once more, slowly, he pulls a despairing smile back on and mouths something Siffrin can't quite make out.

There's no point now.

He has to end it... Start again.

But they can't. Blinding. Move.

Mirabelle is facing the King, glaring right through him. Just like every time before her. Yet this time there's no satisfaction of angering him in her final moments if he can't see the look of brave defiance in her eyes.

She clenches a fist.

Gritting her teeth and squeezing her eyes shut, she rolls to her side.

Siffrin's eye pleads with her to stay still. If she understood his message, she chooses to ignore it.

Mira, please no.

Not without Odile.

She takes another breath and slowly slides her arm under her.

A small flash catches Siffrin's eye.

On her chest is—

No.

No, no, no!

Siffrin tries to take in a deep breath.

Mirabelle pushes up and rolls to a crouch.

Ding ding!

SLAM.

...

Ha! Ha h hahahahha hahahah!

HAhahaa!

Hahahah!

This is what you get for being hopeful!

More of the same!

At least it's quicker than it could have been.

Isabeau grimaces again, teeth grinding on each other. He chokes back a sob the King might have heard were he not shaking viscera from his gauntlet.

But his smile is back. Even with tears in his eyes. Even with his body trembling.

He always does this.

Every time.

No matter how hurt he is or how scared.

As long as he can see them, as long as he can move, he gives them his full attention and smiles. He hides so much fear and pain behind his eyes, but thousands of loops have Siffrin seeing right through the mask.

They thought they were numb to the death by now, but of course, that one sliver of hope rips the wound wide open again and sprays it with the same chemicals burning through the King's skull.

"Ohhh............ ohhh............ Saviors......... That was the Housemaiden, was it not..........? Your healer............ I see now you were waiting for her to recover, were you not...........? Even though you so violently defied My Will, I will offer you a quick and merciful end if you speak up now........."

Go blind yourself, King.

Oh, wait!

Hahha!

We did that for you!

They almost don't want to bring attention to themself now; that would give him what he wants.

And yet...

They can't let Isabeau's smile fade. They can't let their last memory of him in this loop be as a pile of viscera and bones. His body still blocks the majority of the gore behind him.

Of what used to be their friends allies.

Stars. Why can't you even make one blinding sound!? Scream! Hit the floor! Throw your dagger!

The unsteady drip drip of Mirabelle and Odile's blood is the only sound in the room outside of their weak breathing. Bonnie continues to stand, trembling, in the corner of their vision. Even then, it's hard to miss the tears pouring down their face. Hard to miss them fighting every urge to sob and scream and curse the King and say sorry, sorry, sorry and beg the gruesome remains of Odile and Mirabelle to reform.

“Ohhhhh....... Ohhhhhhhhhh..... It does not matter in the end....... You will be frozen in time soon enough..... Child.............”

Bonnie flinches and gives the King the most piercing glare they can muster through the tears.

It twists something inside Siffrin. He still can't make a sound.

“If you care for your fellow Saviors........... You will grant them mercy and allow me to give them a quick end.......”

Their whole body shakes, and they seem to fight the urge to scream.

Stars. Stars!

Why now? He' always had enough energy to taunt him one last time.

Bonnie turns their gaze to Siffrin. Slowly, slowly, they begin to sneak toward him. Their hand carefully reaches into their bag.

No, no, no. Bonnie please!

Please just let me die! I can do it again!

Closer.

Closer.

Their eyes flash between Siffrin and the King. They can't stop blinking away the tears. They refuse to look at what remains of Odile and Mirabelle. Siffrin can see them wringing their hands on the bottle, fighting the urge to look.

Please. Don't look. Don't look.

Just make a sound, Siffrin!

One sound.

One move.

Massive tears spill forth from the King's eyes as he continually wipes at his face.

Bonnie squeezes their eyes shut and bites their lip, pausing for a moment.

"Ohhhh............... Child.......... please........... I would rather not have to reduce myself to blindly slamming my hands on this floor to finish the job.............."

They're on them, sinking to their knees and taking his head in their hands. They take great care to pop off the cork, cup his face, and hold the opening to his lips.

Squeezing his eye shut, he swallows the thick, sour liquid.

The warmth radiates out from their stomach to the tip of every limb. Their fingers twitch. Breath hitches. Everything begins to tingle as their body slowly, slowly, starts to stitch itself back together.

They—they think they can move again.

Bonnie tilts the bottle just a little higher, arm shaking even harder. Tears and snot cover almost every inch of their face. Siffrin can almost hear their teeth groaning from the strain of their jaw.

The tonic spills faster into their mouth, too fast to swallow.

It slips into his lungs.

He coughs.

The King's head snaps toward him.

Finally.

He raises his fist.

They smile at Bonnie—at Isabeau. With the hint of strength they regained, they shove Bonnie away.

Just allies.

"Stargaze!??!" Siffrin nearly throws himself off the branch to lean closer. "You know about the stars!?"

"I—wh—yes? Who doesn't? They're right up there?"

"Nobody does! Everyone just thinks they're boring dots in the sky whenever I try to tell them about it they think I'm lying I've forgotten so much too just like I forget everything I know I used to know more but I lost it all too when the... when the... the..."

"..."

"...Stardust?"

"Wha..? What were we talking about?" They blink a few times.

"...the stars? You—"

"Stars!? You know about stars!?" His heart skips a beat.

"I—wh—yes? I just sai—" They stare at him for a moment. "Never mind. Yes, I do know about stars. I was an astronom—" Their jaws snap shut. They lower their gaze and mumble to themself for a long moment, glancing between their hands while flexing their fingers. "Hmm... I suppose it's fine to share this." They shrug and sigh. "Yes, I was an astronomer, so it was kind of my job to know about stars."

"Your job... your job?" There’s no way. There's no way! "So you know a lot about them!?"

Loop tilts their head, ears flattened. "I'd say my knowledge is above average, yes."

His breath skips. "Please tell me please please I need to know please! Nobody cares anymore I'm not lying I'm not making this up Odile told me to stop lying to Bonnie when I tried telling them but I wasn't and I know they're important but why can't I remember them!?"

He pauses, panting, shaking.

Loop's whole body is tense as they stare. They grip their branch with both hands.

"Please," they whine.

Loop inhales deeply. "Okay."

"Okay!?" His breath catches in his throat.

Loop throws their bubbly persona back on. "Sure, stardust! I suppose it's fine if I talk about this. It's just general information, after all, and I care about you so much, my precious little cinnamon roll," they wink, "I can probably fudge the rules just a little bit more. So! What would you like to know?"

"Everything!!!"

They flinch. "That's gonna take a while!" They gaze up into the canopy at the thousands of little pinpricks of light that filter through. "How about you come back when it's dark and we can talk then? I need some time to er... create my syllabus for our little impromptu lesson, anyway~!"

"But I want—no it's okay, that's fine." It's fine! A syllabus is good! They can prepare!

"You'll be back in no time," they hum. "Go have some fun with your friends and get some delicious din din!"

"Okay, see you soon. Loop."

He leaves, heart thundering in his chest.

>>>

The sun has just barely fallen below the horizon when Siffrin leaves the Clocktower. His allies all seemed disappointed they couldn't meet his mysterious 'friend', but they let them go without too much of a fuss.

When they arrive, he doesn't see Loop in their usual spot and nearly jumps out of his skin when they pop their head out of the bushes right beside him.

"Blinding stars, Loop, you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Whoopsies! I guess that wouldn't be too bad, though, since you'd just loop anyway." They retreat back into the undergrowth and motion Siffrin to follow them with their tail waving above it all.

He pushes in after them and follows closely, dodging recoiling branches with some effort. Loop seems to navigate with much more ease, other than the occasional snag on their wings.

They stumble with a small yelp and shake their front paw. Ok, maybe not much more ease.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine, fine!" They shake their paw. "Just a scratch, don't worry your pretty little head about it~!"

They push on before Siffrin can respond, and he can't help but notice they now have a small limp.

"How far are we going?"

"Not far," they say, pausing with no weight on their hand. "There's a little hill nearby that has a clear view and can't be seen from town."

As if on cue, the trees thin and open up to a grassy field somewhat similar to the one he wakes up in at the start of every loop. The grass is shorter, fresher, and less prickly-looking than what he's used to.

Loop peeks out from the treeline, sniffing the air and vibrating the fluffy feathers on their head. They take a step forward, seemingly satisfied, and shake their head until the feathers are tucked neatly away.

Together, they pad out to the top of the small hill and sit down.

It's still light out and there aren't many stars to see yet. Siffrin eyes Loop messing with their paw, picking out bits of debris from it.

“Uhh, Loop?”

They flinch and cover their hand. “Yes, stardust?”

Voice low, they ask, "Do you want me to heal that?" They lean over to get a better look.

"You—you can do that?" They curl their talons and pull them toward their chest.

They nod. "Learned it in the loops."

They squint at him and turn away. "It's fine."

"Are you sure?" Siffrin tilts his head. "It's no problem, really."

Loop's fingers twitch. They stare at their hand for a moment. Then, with a long, drawn-out sigh, they speak. "Fiiiine if you insist, stardust then I guess I can let you heal me."

Siffrin's lips twitch upward, but they hide it with a cough. He holds out his hand, and with some hesitation, Loop reaches out and places their hand in it.

They both flinch. Loop looks away, cheek feathers puffed.

It's warm. Rough. An array of what look like scars break up the even pattern of scutes that line their leg.

Taking it gently in both hands, they turn it over. The palm is covered in a thick pad, similar to a cat's but not quite as pronounced. It's rough and callused from walking on bare ground; a few still look somewhat raw and fresh, even.

There's something strange about the wound. The trickle of blood that leaks out seems...off. Like the shade is a little to the left, but in the dying light, it's hard to get a better look. Not that Loop would appreciate him scrutinizing their hand for longer than necessary, anyway.

As if they heard him, Loop huffs and flexes their claws. "Having fun ogling my toesie woesies, stardust?"

"Ah! Uh, sorry!" They sputter. Using the back of his glove, he gently wipes away the remaining dirt and debris before breathing a bit of healing Craft into the sore. Loop's hand twitches as the wound stitches itself back together with an uneven scar.

"Huh." They flex their digits. "That feels different."

"Different? Does it still hurt?"

"Huh? Oh! No. It doesn’t hurt anymore. I meant different as in—never mind. Thank you, I owe you my life, am forever in your debt, et cetera et cetera."

"Don't mention it," he snorts.

Something nags at the back of his mind. He glances at Loop's other paw.

They have to ask.

"Hey, Loop, can I see your other hand?"

They gasp and put their healed paw to their chest. "My, my, can't get enough of me? If you wanted to hold hands, you don't have to be so secretive."

Siffrin huffs. "So is that a yes or a no?"

Loop pauses. "Fine, if you must." With a sigh and dramatic flourish, they extend their other hand out, folding the freshly-healed one under their chest.

Siffrin squints and turns it over, only to see a similar sight of calluses and old blisters. He heals them, too, watching them harden into something sturdier.

They look at Loop. They're looking away, scar facing him.

"Loop?"

"Thank you, stardust," they pull their hand away and fold it under them. "It's getting pretty dark out now. Maybe we should do what we actually came here to do!" They point their head toward the heavens.

Siffrin stares at them for a moment longer before following their gaze up into the night sky. A little bit of daylight hangs at the horizon, but the stars are rapidly blinking into view as it fades.

A cold, twisting sense of longing churns in his chest as they stare at the sky. He knew. He knew. They knew so much more about it, but it's behind that same wall that shrouds their memories of home. The wall that prickles and cuts into him if he tries too hard to remember. The wall he forgot that he even forgot until the loops. The wall that teases him with morsels when he's not looking, only to take them away forever if he tries to focus.

...Will this hurt?

Loop shifts their body until all their limbs are folded under them. They curl their tail around and shift themself until they look like a giant winged cat loafing in a sunbeam. Siffrin shifts around as well until he finds a soft patch of grass with no rocks poking at him.

Loop hums. "Well, I suppose we can begin by you telling me what you know already. I'd hate to insult your knowledge by assuming you don't know the most basic things, but also you might not know the most basic things, so..."

"Oh," they murmur, grabbing a piece of grass and rolling it in their fingers. "Well, I know stuff like, the sun is a star and stars are all really big balls of fire and some stars are actually planets and people make pictures called constellations and used to navigate by them and telescopes, orreries, star charts... and uh..." He points to a brighter light. "That's the planet Venus, and uhm..." he keeps looking, thinking. The prickling fog already starts digging into the corner of his mind, so he closes his eye and shakes his head.

"That's all I remember."

Loop hums. "Okay, so we're definitely starting from the basics."

He grumbles. "I know I knew more than that. I could read star charts, I know it. I could use telescopes and orreries and whatever else there is."

"Well, maybe this will jog your memory some."

"I wish." They pull up a clump of grass.

Loop watches them rip it up and toss it before clearing their throat. "Anyway, you're right that not every light in the sky is a star. Some are planets, or comets, or moons, and some are entire galaxies that are so far away they're nothing more than a tiny dot to our eyes."

"Galaxies?" That one doesn’t sound familiar.

"Collections of hundreds of billions of stars and planets and other celestial bodies." They gesture at the thick band of stars that arcs across the sky. "We're in the Milky Way, which is a spiral galaxy and—oh, I wish I brought a pencil and paper. Ahh, well, not like I can draw to save my life anyway."

Siffrin can already feel his heart thundering in his chest. He leans closer to loop with stars in his eyes.

"I think..." he pauses and squeezes his eye shut. "That sounds familiar. Please keep going!"

Loop snorts and lets their expression relax. "Okay, well..."

Siffrin is enraptured by the tales Loop weaves of the sky above them. Tales of stars and planets and black holes and quasars, nebulae, dark matter, and everything else. He can't move, he can barely breathe as he soaks in every possible little detail that comes out of Loop's mouth. Some of it tickles the hidden part of his mind, behind the thorny wall, overwriting what was lost and keeping it fresh and close to him. Some of it is all too new; it's as if he's a small child again, sitting around a bonfire with their friends as their... their...

...

He blinks, shakes his head, and has to ask Loop to repeat a whole chunk of what they just said.

Loop looks… so different when talking. Their voice is lighter, smoother, less guarded and calculated, and they frequently have to pause for a breath after speaking for too long without stopping. It makes Siffrin feel winded just watching them. They can't help but smile—not just at getting back such an important part of him he thought was lost forever, but seeing a fresh, new side of Loop. Seeing them talk a mile a minute, waving their hands around, and looking up to the sky with such wonder just fills him with a sense of peace.

It won't last.

He knows that. It digs at the back of his mind. But just for that time, he manages to shove it down.

After talking for a while, Loop pauses and stretches out. They flap their wings a few times and reach out as far as they can with their front legs, spreading their toes out far. They let their wings fall more relaxed to their sides and rest their limbs in the grass in front of them.

Siffrin follows suit, not realizing how stiff he's grown from sitting unmoving in the dirt for however long they've been there.

Loop stretches again, roll to their side and—

"Oof!" Siffrin grunts as their head lands right in their lap. He flinches and freezes. "Loop!?"

"Wow, you are really bony," they huff. They shift around a bit until their good eye is pointed upward and the top of their head is pressed to his gut. Siffrin holds their arms stiffly away from them the entire time. He can't move.

"Ah," Their expression stiffens when they catch sight of his face. "Was that too much?" They keep their eye locked onto him.

"N-no, it was just sudden!" And warm! And surprisingly light. "U-um." He slowly places a hand on their cheek, feeling just a bit of squish as he presses down on their feathers. Loop makes a small noise but doesn't say a word. They look away. "Why?"

"You look like you needed it," they shrug. "Consider this some good ol' rukemi touch therapy."

"Touch therapy?"

"Well, I’m already helping you with the loops and the stars, so I thought I might help with that as well."

"Thanks???" They're definitely touch-starved, but wow!

"You're quite welcome~! Just keep your hands off my plumes."

"Your... plumes?"

"The long feathers on my head. They're sensitive."

"O-okay."

They're so soft. He wants to... to...

He swallows hard. "So I can... I can p—I can p-p-p..."

"Yes, yes you may pet me if you want, I guueeesssss," they huff. "So demanding~!"

"You're the one—agh—never mind." He can guess what kind of game Loop's playing.

Slowly, carefully, they sink their fingers into Loop's feathers until they touch skin. They both flinch.

So warm. Warmer than a human, it seems, though what would they know about touching another human?

He curls his fingers slowly. He wants to take his gloves off and feel just how soft they are, but that seems like too much! They're surprised he hasn't combusted from this level of touch; if he held Mirabelle's head like that or, stars, Isabeau held them like that, he'd loop on contact. With Loop, it's different. Not quite as overwhelming as he'd expect. Like petting a giant chicken.

He starts scratching a little more and cautiously moves his hand around their face, down their jaw, along their neck. Loop closes their eye and sighs, letting their legs relax and slide out a bit more. They flex one paw and relax, flex and relax.

Siffrin works his way up their head until he reaches their ear, only to find out it's not really an ear at all, just a collection of feathers in the shape of one. They slide their fingers around it until they feel a gap in front of them. He brushes his thumb across it, and out of nowhere, Loop yawns wide, flashing their sharp teeth before shaking their head and pulling back.

"Excuse me! Don't go shoving your fingers into my ear," they glare, folding their feathers down.

"S-sorry!" He pulls his hand away. "Um... so... your ear is just..."

"Yes, it's just a hole in my head."

"Okay." Weird.

"What? Disappointed?"

"No! Just uh... I don't know." What is Loop, really?

The rukemi snorts and rolls their head in his lap. "Oh, stardust, you are too much sometimes."

He frowns. "What'd I doooo?"

They glance at him and snort. "Tee hee~!"

Loop's definitely too much, sometimes too.

"I know I'm too much, aren't I~! That's what makes me so great~!"

Siffrin sighs and shakes their head, smiling lightly.

"Also, take your hat off. I can't see the stars."

"O-oh." He touches the brim and pulls it down further. They don't want to be exposed, but it's not like they can hide anything when Loop's looking up at them like that. He clenches his fist and peels the hat off. The cool night air is refreshing, and he shakes the heat from his head as he sets his hat on the grass.

Cautiously, he places a hand back on Loop's jaw, far away from their ear and plumes. Loop flexes and relaxes their hands again and goes silent.

"So," Siffrin begins after a minute, voice barely a whisper. He shifts his hips and stretches his back. Their fingers work themselves lower and lower on Loop's jaw and down their neck until...

They feel something.

A vibration, soft and gentle.

Coming from Loop's throat.

He stops, twitching slightly. He closes his eye, listening carefully.

He can hear it too, now.

No.

It can't be...

"Loop..." They lean over, looking them in the eye.

"No." They look away.

"Are you ... purring???"

"Do I LOOK like a cat?" Their cheek feathers puff out.

"You sure sound like one." Siffrin doesn't fight the smug grin that grows on their face.

"And YOU sound like you know what you're talking about, but sounds can be deceiving," they quip.

His smirk gets bigger.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" And bigger.

"Like, ughhhh! Do you want to know more about stars or not?"

"I do!" his heart skips a beat. He clenches his fingers around Loop's cheek feathers.

"Good~! Now, where were we?"

They pick up where they left off, and soon Siffrin's nerves ease. He continues petting Loop for a while before he has to shift around and dig his fingers into his back, massaging down his spine to his hips.

After a moment, Loop sits up and scoots around him. His heart spikes again when Loop's wing folds over his knees and shoulder presses to his back.

He stares at Loop, who simply keeps talking, staring up at the sky the whole time.

So warm.

Their breath is slow and heavy against him. He's still so tense, so unsure.

But slowly, slowly, they breathe and let themself relax. Bit by bit, they lean further and further against them, sinking into their soft feathers. He bites back a sigh as the tension eases in their back and slowly radiates through the rest of their body. Their breathing slows, their fists unclench, and they lean their head against Loop's shoulder. He closes his eye and feels Loop's voice reverberate through his whole body.

It's nice.

He can let himself have this one indulgence.

"So what exactly was your job?" he mumbles after a while. "Like, did you just spend all day looking at the stars until you find something interesting?"

"Nah, we have computers do that part. No, it was much more specific than that." Loop mulls over their question, rocking their head side to side. Finally, they sigh. "...I was on a team tasked with finding life on other planets."

"What!?" Siffrin jumps, nearly jabbing their knee with the claws on Loop's wing. He spins around to face them, breathing fast. "There's life on other planets!? For real? Did—did you—" Wait. They tilt their head. "Is that where you're from? Another planet?"

Loop looks at them for a moment, then back to the sky.

"Anyway, we've found two, so far, and a few speculated to have all the building blocks needed to form life, if they haven't already. Early life, it seems, in those two, they're still pretty young. They're both a couple hundred thousand light years away, so we haven't been able to get any clear physical images of them with our level of technology yet, but the readouts show atmospheric levels very similar to what Earth's meso-proterozoic era was estimated to have."

"Meso-what?"

"Oh, stars, do I have to give a paleontology lesson too?"

"Oh, wait. Like, dinosaurs?"

"Waaaay before them." They stretch their leg out as if pushing something away. "Probably very early multicellular life. Think worms, and sponges, and algae. And—" they cringe. "Oh geez, fossil reconstructions probably look terrible here."

"Huh?"

They shudder. "Paleontology is probably a pretty fresh field of study here, so any reconstructions are likely horrifically inaccurate."

Siffrin tilts their head.

"Have you been to a museum that has fossils?"

"Once, a while ago."

"I can guarantee, if there were any attempted reconstructions, they look nothing like how these animals actually were."

"Oh."

"You probably learned some pretty wrong things about astronomy, too. So maybe after a few lessons with me, you'd be ready to go out in the world and correct all those awful inaccuracies!" They sputter. "A-actually, don't do that, just keep this all between you and me. Okay?"

Siffrin squints. "So you really are from the future?"

They pause. "Ah. No. It's... No."

"Huh?"

"Anyway!" They clap their hands together. "What else would you like to know?"

Siffrin stares at Loop for a long while, but the rukemi simply stares back, smiling with their single eye curved upward. Their jaws are so close to his face, and he can feel their hot breath on his skin. He sighs. "Can you tell me about constellations?"

"I—" they gaze back into the night. "No. This is an entirely unfamiliar sky."

"What?"

"I don't recognize any of these stars," they murmur. "It looks nothing like the sky back home."

"Oh." They frown and lean back against them. Loop lets out a long sigh.

"Anyway! What else would you like to know?"

Siffrin stares up at the sky; the trillions of twinkling lights staring back at him seem just a little bit closer.

He hums and closes his eye.

"There's a lot I'd like to know," he breathes. "But..."

"Need some time to process all this, hmm?"

"Yeah."

This is nice.

The night chill starts to nip at his knees, so he pulls his cloak down further. A shudder runs down Loop's body as he does it, and their feathers puff up slightly.

So fluffy, so puffy.

They turn to Loop and gaze into their face; they look back, tilting their head the same way and time Siffrin does. Their darkless feathers almost glow in the rising moonlight.

The loops have been unforgiving, still, but at least with Loop here, they finally have a few moments of respite here and there. They're getting back what they've lost. He's getting to know his allies all over again; maybe even better now than at the start of the loops. The House has changed… for better or for worse; snack times are nice, and even though the sadnesses are all over now, he feels himself getting strong enough to defeat most of them with ease.

Maybe eternity with Loop won't be so bad.

He looks away. They watch him for a moment, then sigh.

"You're going to get through this, stardust. We aren't gonna be stuck here forever. That's not how these things work." They cough. "Er—well, I don't really know how these things work but—ergh, you know what I mean."

"I guess." They grab their shoulder and hold themself close.

"Hmm." Loop shifts and stretches their neck. "What do you plan on doing after the loops?"

"What?"

"You have to have some sort of plan for what you want to do after saving an entire country."

He digs his fingers deeper into his arm.

Nothing. Nothing. There is no plan. They're going to be—Everyone will—

Something grips his throat from the inside.

"What will you do after?" His voice wavers.

Loop's silent for a moment. "I suppose I'll go back to how I was before." Their voice is low, resigned.

"How you were—" A chill flashes through him. Like he's being frozen by the King. He whips around to face them. "You'll leave."

Loop folds their ears down and looks away. "Stardust, I thought this was appa—"

Siffrin turns even more, now upright on his knees. "You'll leave! You'll leave me, too? You're just going to leave!?"

They fold their legs back under them. "I-I told you I'm not even supposed to be around yo—"

"I don't care about that!" He shifts forward, grabbing the feathers on Loop's shoulders. "I won't tell anyone about you! We can... I don't know!"

Loop flinches and goes rigid, their tail starts to rapidly twitch. "Stardust, there's nothing—"

The tightness in his throat worms its way out through his chest, down to his gut. "No, no, no! We can keep traveling together you can't leave you're the only one who I can talk to about this!"

"I'm not, though," their voice wavers. "Your pa—"

"I can't tell them! I know I'm selfish and greedy and awful and disgusting but I'm going to lose them and I don't want to lose you too!"

They shrink down more. "Stardust, I don't really know you."

"But you do! You still remember things! You remember to call me stardust! And that you want to help me! And to meet me at the Favor Tree and a lot about the loops and the King and you remember you care about me! Right? That's what you said!"

"I-I did but—" They rake their claws through the earth. "I don't remember anything else."

Tears prick at the corner of his eye but don't fall. "Then I'll tell you! Every time we meet! I'll tell you everything you need to know! That's what I've been doing already! I'll tell you as many times as I need to so if this is ever over you'll remember for real!"

As Siffrin pleads, Loop keeps pulling back, more and more. Their body tenses, and their wings fold tightly against them. They grip the ground, claws digging deep into the dirt.

"Please, stop." A low rumble emanates from deep within their chest.

"No, Loop, please, please don't leave, please you're my f—"

Loop's ears flutter, eye narrows, and they snap their jaws with a hiss. "I'm your what? Your friend? Your family? Someone who can just seamlessly blend in with you when you traipse around other humans?"

A frozen fist crashes right through Siffrin's chest. "But... you said we were friends."

Loop's tail flips up and slams on the ground with an audible thud. "Did I? Okay! Sure! We're friends! I'll be your friend! I'll just keep living out in the woods, watching you go have fun in civilization and hope maybe you'll toss some crumbs my way once in a while! That sounds fun, yes! Sitting out on the sidelines while you get to move on with your life! While you get to go home, and I get to sit in the mud waiting to get another infection that finally kills me. Wondering why I can't go home or if it's even fucking there anymore!"

"While I get to—" Siffrin prickles. Something white-hot bubbles up within him, forcing its way past the chill that had its hold on him; he clenches his jaw so hard his teeth groan painfully. "I can't go home either!"

Their expression shifts in a blink. "What?"

"My home!" He snaps. "It's gone! Wiped completely off the map! At least you remember yours! I don't! I don't even know how old I was when it happened or what it was like or anything about my family or my culture or my language! It's all just gone!"

"Wiped... off the map... like an ex-explosion?" Their feathers stand on end, and they fold their legs closer to their body, claws ripping at a root.

"Just disappeared! Vanished! And everyone forgot everything about it! Including me!"

"Oh."

"That's why I can't remember the stars! I learned it all there and that was taken from me too!" He's yelling, louder and louder. "I don't have anything! I don't have anyone or anywhere to go after this!"

"But your friends—"

"They're not my friends!" he cries. "They don't care enough about me to want to call me that, to want to stay with me! They'll leave me too!"

"I-I'm not sure that's true." Loop's voice is so small.

"It is! Odile said we're just allies! They all talk about going their separate ways when all this is over! And they will, because this journey meant less to them than it did to me!"

He

feels

a

tug—

"Ugh!" He screams into his hands and stands up, snatching his hat and forcing it back on his head.

"Wait, stardust."

"Just forget it, I'm going back."

They don't try to stop him.

>>>

The Clocktower is dark when Siffrin arrives, save for a small, crafted light glowing in the dining area.

He swallows the ever-growing knot in his throat and bubbling dread in his gut, then slips in quietly. Isabeau is settled at the table, fixing a tear on one of Bonnie's shirts. He jumps when the door latches, but a bright smile rises on his face when he sees them.

"Sif!" Isabeau whisper-yells. "You're back! I was starting to get worried." He quickly sews in a few more stitches and ties it off before packing everything away.

"I'm fine." He watches as Isabeau carefully puts everything in an orderly fashion. They clench their fist and breathe. "You waited for me? How long was I gone?"

"A couple hours. It's pretty late. The others just went to bed. I'm guessing you had fun catching up with your friend?"

"Something like that."

Stupid. Stupid. Why did you say all that?

"Huh?" Isabeau tilts his head, studying them.

"They're just leaving tomorrow, is all." They smile.

Why did you do that?

"Aw, you won't be able to see them after we beat the King?"

Ha.

They shake their head. "It's fine, though, we talked a lot tonight."

And then you had to go fucking blind it up by acting like some sort of possessive, desperate creep.

"That's good, at least!" He grins. "Still, I'm sorry you won't have more time with them. I know it's hard to say goodbye sometimes."

"Yeah."

They stare at the floor for a moment before slowly looking up at Isabeau. He smiles, soft and warm, but he seems tense, gripping his hand tightly and rubbing circles on the back with his thumb.

Neither speaks. Everything is so quiet that his own breathing is almost deafening.

It's fine. It's whatever! They're gonna forget this too, and you can pretend it never happened!

They stretch out with an exaggerated, forced yawn.

Unless you were that much of a blinding ass that it's permanently seared into their memory.

"Heh, ready for bed?" Isabeau hums.

"Mhm," they nod, blinking slowly. They're not tired at all.

"Okay," he hums. "Hey, Sif, before we head up, can I tell you something really quick?"

"Hm?" Is it the same thing from every other night or something new?

Doesn't matter, it's not like he'll say whatever it is.

Loop. Why did they..? Ughh...

He keeps his eye focused on Isabeau, though his mind keeps trying to wander.

"Okay, um," he begins, cheeks darkening. "I just wanted to tell you that I, uhm... really liked traveling with you and... and..." He looks away, scratching the back of his head. "And that's it. It was fun. Yep!"

That's it? That's all he wanted to tell them?

They feel...

"Oh."

"Oh? You didn't..?" His expression falls. "Never mind."

"No, no, I did!" He holds his hands up. "This journey... meant a lot... to me. I just expected..."

Isabeau shrinks in on himself. "More?" he coughs. He can't make eye contact. "Well, there was something else I wanted to say, but I'll tell you tomorrow, after we beat the King. Wouldn't want to distract you."

Ah, the usual, then.

"Is that okay?" He leans forward, head tilted.

They nod. Maybe one day they can pry it out of him, but not today.

Too blinding dead inside.

And... ugh!

Why did you flip out at them like that? They didn't know! But ugh. They should have! Why can't they remember? Why can't you remember?

...

They can't go home either.

...

"Okay!" His radiant smile is back, and even after all this time, Siffrin feels a little bit of ease flow through him.

It's fine. It's fine! Maybe they'll change their mind!

Isabeau gets out of his seat and walks up to them. "Ready for bed? Big day tomorrow haha." His cheeks are still flushed.

"Yeah," they nod. "Lemme just—" They point to the bathroom.

"Okay, I'll warm the bed for you hahahhh."

He snorts, and they part ways.

Why did you do that?

He locks himself in the bathroom and tries not to scream.

Why did you do that?

They splash cold water on their face and slap their cheeks until it hurts.

Why did you do that?

They find their mildewy towel and scream into it.

Why did you do that!?

They hold it to their face, breathing in the stink, getting hardly any fresh air.

Why did you do that!?

They kick the wall, forgetting they had just taken their shoes off. They bite their lip hard enough to make a mark and resist the urge to rip the sink off its pedestal and throw it out the window.

He sighs and gazes out into the night toward the field they were in, wondering if Loop was still there, wondering where they sleep at night, wondering why they can't go home either. Tears threaten to fall again, and he chokes up.

Why did you... do that..?

When he sneaks into the sleeping quarters, Isabeau is already out like a light.

They slip in beside him and shuffle under the blankets.

He settles in for a long, sleepless night.

Loop.

>>>

The next morning, Siffrin can't bring themself to start any new conversations, and they slip back into a semi-script as their party ascends the House. They try and fail not to think about their horrific blunder from the night before.

A stupid sadness is waiting near the entrance this time. They nod along as their party reassures Mirabelle, and he manages to take out half its health with one swipe.

He is getting stronger.

He can't bring himself to feel excited; it's not like it matters unless he can somehow get strong enough to kill the King in one hit.

But they don't even let themself dream about that.

Wouldn't it be nice, though?

>>>

They remember the key in the Head Housemaiden's desk drawer and slot it into the Library's lock.

The library... something about the back wall.

Oh!

The secret library!

The switch!

They shove their way inside and beeline it to the ancient bricks.

Don't get your hopes up. Don't get your hopes up. It's just boring papers.

But still...

They run their fingers across the wall until they feel a brick shift slightly.

He gasps.

Is this it?

Deep breath, in, and out.

They press it in.

It scrapes along the other bricks and...

There's a series of muffled clicks, and suddenly the wall slides away to reveal a narrow passage.

...

He can't breathe.

THERE REALLY WAS A SECRET LIBRARY?

WHAT?!?

"What the gems—?!"

"SECRET PASSAGE!!!" Bonnie screeches.

Mirabelle looks between them and the opening rapidly. "But how— How did you—"

"I-I just touched it and it opened," he chuckles and rubs the back of his neck.

Mirabelle steps forward and peers at the mechanism poking out at the top. "That's so weird?! Was it here all this time?!?"

If it was, then... then...

They don't want to think about it! They will not think about it!

He steels himself and enters.

Another sadness slithers around. They bite back a hiss and sneak past when it has its back turned.

That's future Siffrin's problem.

They push their way through the ancient, heavy door and...

Sweet stars, it really is a secret library.

Stars, stars, blind it all.

No, stop thinking about it and look!

"Wow, there's so much here!" Mirabelle gasps.

"Fascinating," Odile muses. Some papers catch her eye, and she drifts over to a pile on the table.

Siffrin's heart hammers against his chest.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Do NOT get your hopes up.

They walk stiffly to the first shelf.

He's already sweaty, clammy, gross—the sensation of angry bees buzz in his chest.

They swallow the tightness in their throat.

Okay, okay, just start looking.

Okay, okay, okay, nothing yet. Nothing useful...oh hey, there is an ancient book on newts.

...

Nothing there. Just a bunch of books on colors. Whatever those are.

Next shelf.

Isabeau seems to notice his tension, but Siffrin gives him the widest smile they can and turns away before he can say anything.

There's another headache book.

He starts to gravitate toward it.

No—no time. Don't get distracted.

Check everything. Leave no book glossed over.

Last shelf.

Last shelf. Please.

Please, something.

He runs his finger along the spine of every book to keep himself from rushing ahead and skipping something in his haste.

"Siffrin?" Mirabelle asks. "Are you looking for something in particular?"

No. No. No. Still no.

"Huh? Oh." Maybe another set of eyes would be helpful. "Do you think there's something on Crafted shields?"

Isabeau peers at the shelf. "Like, shields in battle? To protect ourselves?" He hums, scratching at his chin. "It would be useful, wouldn't it... We have skills to boost our defense, but a shield would be cool."

Mirabelle hums, threading her fingers together. "I-I was thinking about learning! And I feel like I'm close to getting it!!! But... I'm not there yet. Sorry."

Bonnie squeezes past them and kneels over the bottom. "This book here is just called 'Shields', and it's super dusty." They pull out a book near the bottom of the final shelf.

What?

"Dusty books are good, right?" They smile and hold it out to them.

Siffrin nearly rips the book from Bonnie's hands and throws it open.

This... this could be.

"Siffrin?"

"Whoa, Sif, are you okay? You're shaking."

He hands the book to Mirabelle without a word.

He can't look. He stares at the empty space in the bookshelf instead.

Mirabelle watches him for a moment, they all do, before she turns to the book and starts thumbing through the pages.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

She stops about a quarter of the way through the book. Siffrin forces his head to turn and catches a glance at the page. It's dense and full of confusing diagrams.

Mirabelle taps the side of the book rhythmically. "Well, that's not how it works." She chews on her lip. "But... . . ."

Don't. Get. Your. Hopes. Up.

He forces his expression into mild curiosity.

He wants to throw up.

"Wait... Wait a second." Mirabelle gasps. It's as if a switch goes off in her mind. Her expression brightens, and she buries her nose back into the pages.

A few more seconds of mumbling and Siffrin clenching and unclenching his fists, and—

"THAT'S ALL?!?!?"

He nearly jumps out of his skin, causing Isabeau to jump too and reach out to them like they're about to keel over.

"THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT?!??!"

Don't get your hopes up don't get your hopes up dont'getyourhopesupdontdontdont.

"Ah." Odile wanders over from the papers she was snooping in.

"Oh, this sounds fun." Isabeau leans over to check the book, takes one look at the text, cringes, and leans back.

Mirabelle chews on her knuckle. "So then, if I do this, and keep this in mind, and don't forget about this..."

She mumbles under her breath for a long time...

"Okay, so..." She slams the book shut and snaps her head toward them. He jumps again. "Siffrin, do NOT move. I'm about to try a highly volatile Craft Skill on you that I've never tried before."

He freezes. His lungs feel like they're being squeezed.

Just breathe. In, and out.

Mirabelle holds her hands out and murmurs a few words. There's a sound of sizzling wind chimes that seems to originate from within Siffrin's own body.

He feels warm all of a sudden, like a thick blanket wrapped itself around him.

He pries his eye open right as Bonnie throws a punch in his stomach.

Owwie. He flinches. Wait.

"Boniface."

Mirabelle leans closer. "Siffrin, did you feel something...?"

He puts his hand on his stomach.

They didn't feel a thing.

They

Did

Not

Feel

A

Thing.

...

He shakes his head.

He keeps shaking it, more and more.

He didn't feel it. It didn't hurt. He didn't feel it it didn't hurt he didn't feel it he did not feel a thing!!!

A laugh bubbles up from within his chest, and soon he's reduced to a cackling mess leaning up against the ancient books.

He doesn't even care that his allies are all staring at him as tears and snot stream down his face.

They feel like their chest should hurt by now from how violently they're laughing, but it feels fine!

It doesn't hurt!

Don't get your hopes up!

"Uh, Sif, Buddy," Isabeau says when he slides to the floor, still laughing. "You uh—"

"Yeah, haha? Isa?" They wipe all the fluids from their face in one long motion.

"Nothing, glad you're happy it works!"

"That wasn't a side effect of the craft, was it?" Mirabelle hugs the book to her chest.

"No! Haha, no, it's fine! It's fine. It just I uh... thought of a really bad joke... about shields!"

"Really?" Odile raises an eyebrow. "Gems, alive Siffrin."

"Boo," Bonnie crosses their arms.

"So, what was it?" Isabeau asks tentatively.

"Forgot!" They're not even going to bother trying to salvage that.

They have a shield skill!

They can survive the King now!

Maybe!

Don't get your hopes up!

Trembling, they pull themself back upright, wiping the remaining snot from their nose. The shield Craft has since worn off, and he can feel a twinge of tightness in his chest as he gets the remaining giggles out of his system.

They're gonna beat the King again and Mirabelle's gonna deal the final blow and they're going to break the loops and then everyone...

Loop...

Siffrin shakes his head and violently blinks away the thoughts. He takes one step toward the door and stops. They're gonna have to come back there. It's going to take so long every time because they're not gonna beat the King this loop or next loop or the next loop!

...

Maybe there's another way for Mirabelle to learn quicker.

He turns to her. "So, Mira. What made it click?"

"Huh?"

"This book? What about it made you figure it out when you couldn't before?"

"Oh!" she perks up. "That's easy! It's all about—" Mirabelle suddenly bombards him with technical terms!!! He doesn't follow a single word but smiles and nods along either way.

>>>

" —and that's how you do it!!!"

"I did not understand even a little bit of this." Odile rubs her temples.

Isabeau crosses his arms and looks into the distance. "Hm, I couldn't craft a skill like that myself, but..." He squints as he searches for his next words. He lights up with a small gasp. "But it's just about using the CARROT method, right?"

Odile takes the book and gives it a cursory glance. "Is it?" She flips back a page. "I guess that makes some sort of sense..."

Mirabelle flips back a page and shows Odile. "It is! They actually mention it in here, too!"

The CARROT method???

"What's the CARROT method?" Bonnie tilts their head and scrunches their nose.

Mirabelle points to a line and reads aloud: "Can Arrive at a Really Really Outstanding Technique".

What?

Isabeau chuckles. "If you don't know the CARROT method, you don't need to know the CARROT method."

Okay.

Siffrin sure feels stupider than usual this loop.

But it's fine, it's fine! They have a shield skill! That's what matters!

They take a breath. "So, hypothetically, someone reminding you of the CARROT method would make it click for you?"

"Yes!!!!!!" Mirabelle beams, sliding the book back into its place on the shelf and clapping her hands together.

Well, there you go.

Don't. Get. Your. Hopes. Up.

>>>

They make it through the rest of the house.

He tries to start a few conversations, but his mind is miles away.

Don't get your hopes up.

Do not get your hopes up.

...

Loop.

They don't have anywhere to go either...

Pick up that tonic.

Don't get your hopes up.

Why did you yell at them like that?

Kill that sadness—oh, hey that wasn't so bad this time. More than half of your tonics left.

Why did you have to act like such a needy creep?

Why would they want to stay with you?

Don't get your hopes up.

Pick the malanga fritters again.

They're only helping you to get out of the loops.

Tastes like ash.

The King is ahead...

Siffrin shuts his eye tightly and takes a deep breath, in and out.

He takes another, and another.

They're packing up and are about ready to leave the final safe room.

Tune back in, Siffrin. Don't embarrass yourself dying WITH a shield.

Don't get your hopes up.

"Ready?" Isabeau says as they approach the door.

He blinks and pulls his gaze from the tear floating dangerously close.

"Ready!" He smiles.

Deep breath.

Deep, deep breath.

They push through the door and enter the final hallway before the King.

His heart is going to shatter his ribs.

It's so loud. He can hear it.

It sounds like... clanking metal.

Wait.

He pauses.

That's not him.

"What's that sound?" Bonnie asks.

Something crashes far ahead.

The King bellows, followed by another crash.

Wait.

Wait. Waitwaitwait.

Oh no.

His legs move on their own, and he dashes full speed ahead.

"Sif!?"

"Siffrin, wait!"

Oh stars, oh stars.

Oh, blind it all!

The noise grows louder. There's a massive boom, and the whole House shudders. Dust shakes free from the ancient bricks. Siffrin stumbles but does not slow. His party is already far behind him, calling out to them.

He throws the door open, heart in his throat.

At the far end of the antechamber, the King thrashes around, wailing. Something long juts from his neck, and dark blood spurts from it with every move he makes. The walls around him are littered with holes, with a particularly massive one to his left. Rubble, shards of glass, and so so many tears coat the floor and

        there

                     is

                               a

                                       shade...

terrifying and visceral spattered across everything, the walls, the floor, the King.

And before the tyrant, flying erratically, thrashing violently, dripping that same shade is...

Siffrin wants to shrivel up and die right there. Just die die die and die again. Die and not come back.

If they can't even get past the first trap, how are they supposed to even beat the King again, let alone figure out what's really causing the loops?

They hear light footsteps and swishing grass and, as if being pulled up by puppet strings, they rise and stretch their smile back on.

Okay, well. The curtains open once more; they won't wait for you! Put your smile back on ‘stardust’ and don't make anyone suspicious this time!

Right on time, Mirabelle arrives to chastise them for napping. They smile and nod, smile and nod, and soon enough, she's on her way. Their eye was too unfocused to even tell if she was fooled by their act.

Not like it matters, anyway, he'll be dead in a day anyway.

But they'll have to put on the act once more, and then again and again and again until the end of time!

Stars.

They start to head to town, but a tug at the back of their mind has them turning back around and staring into the trees.

Oh right. Loop.

They push their way into the thicket and scan for any signs of the rukemi.

"Loop?" they call out to the boulder next to the suspiciously quivering foliage. "I'm going to the Favor Tree. I'll talk to you there, I guess."

Why there, anyway? There's no reason you have to go there.

...

Big tree nice.

They shrug, shake the leaden feeling from their limbs--or at least try--and trudge through the meadow.

Happy face. Happy face! Let's go Siffrin!

They pat their cheeks and shake their head to knock some of the despair away. Or, rather, to hide it better.

Mirabelle's second conversation went well, for the most part. She looked at them with a raised eyebrow and a quirk of the head a few times, but if she suspected anything, she said nothing.

Success! Just fit right back into that role!

...

Isabeau time.

" Tree-mendous tree! " they smirk and watch as he barks out his normal (normal!) laugh. He raises his hand toward Siffrin, stops, then lets it fall to his side.

Siffrin blinks. Did that happen before?

They can't take their mind off that gesture as they script their way through the rest of the conversation. It has been a while, after all, besides the complete fumble of the last loop.

He gives a small wave as Isabeau walks off, stopping at the treeline to give him a questioning look before leaving.

Weird. Well whatever, you probably still look like shit.

Shit?

Loop's swear popped into their mind so naturally. They don't even know what it means yet; maybe it isn't even a swear!

Sure sounds like one though. It has that zest only the good swears have.

He shrugs and moves on.

The Favor Tree looms over them, guarding a little patch of night under its million leaves. He inches forward and calls out.

"Loop?"

They look up into the branches to see the rukemi flattened against the same branch from last loop. They peer at him, tilting their head with their ears and long feathers fanned up and out. Like they're studying him, like they're deciding if he's a friend or a meal.

They don't respond. Just stare.

With a deep breath, Siffrin hauls themself up to their branch and plops down. They don't make eye contact for a moment, already suspecting some sort of quip for looping back so soon.

"So...Stardust?"

They groan. "I know, I know, I said that was the last loop and then messed it up."

"Hahah, yeah I uh..." They scratch the back of their head right under their long, fluffy feathers. "I suppose I should know what you're talking about?"

Siffrin's blood runs cold. "What? What!? What do you mean? You don't remember last ni--loop? ANYTHING?"

"I--" their gaze follows a dry leaf as it flutters down through the air, hitting and nearly sticking on branches on the way. "I think? Some things? You def--"

"Like what!?" He leans dangerously close to the edge of the branch.

Loop flinches. "Well, um. You're trying to kill a King?" they say with a huff and a flick of their tail.

A twisting feeling in their chest falls. "...Is that all?"

"No. Something about...hmm..." They bring their claw, no longer cracked, to their mouth and bite down once again. They speak in a low rumble. "No, that's impossible, but..."

"Yes!?"

"Time...loops? That's what you meant, right?"

Siffrin nods so aggressively their hat nearly falls off. "Yes! I told you about it and everything! And you don't remember?"

Loop lowers their head against their shoulders, as if trying to hide in their feathers. "Time loops, tyrannical king--now isn't that redundant?--he/they, stuck for a while, forgotten a lot since you've been trapped, I think, something about mangoes...oh right you told me quite a lot of personal details I don't think were relevant to anything, didn't you?"

Siffrin bites their lip. "Was relevant to me," they mumble.

Loop tilts their head. "Erm, well, we can unpack that another time." They put their claws together in the shape of a diamond.

"...Is that all?"

They make a swirling gesture in the air. "Bits and pieces of things. But, yes." Their feathers settle. "That's about it."

Siffrin sighs. They close their eye and press their face into their hands. Gravity pulls at them harder and harder, making them sink into themself. If the branch he's sitting on shatters and he crashes to the ground in a pile of meat, he wouldn't even be surprised.

Heh.

Ground meat.

But the branch holds firm, and he's faced with the fact that it's only his mind pulling him down.

"Stardust?"

Siffrin grunts. At least they remember that .

Okay. Okay, no this is fine. They're only mostly unhelpful! They remember more than your friends, at least! We can still figure things out!

Digging his palms into his face, he takes a deep breath and faces the rukemi. "We're here to kill the King who's been freezing everyone in time and--" they inhale again and push on. They repeat much of what they said the night before, slowly, painfully, already writing the script in their mind, they plan on telling Loop every single time from then on...

A flash of a buried memory flits across their mind, and they perk up slightly.

Oh right, at least there's that.

They divert the topic and dig through the mire for more and more, picking up speed until there's an edge of desperation to their voice.

More campfire meals. Finding an orb (which one, which one!?). Isabeau's strong hand stopping him from walking straight into a trap he so stupidly missed. Tending to Mirabelle's hair after the river mishap. Losing a drunken arm wrestling match to Odile. Losing a sober arm wrestling match to Bonnie.

Loop listens, just like the night before, head tilting side to side, occasionally having their attention stolen by a fluttering leaf or the gentle piou piou of a songbird.

After Siffrin's words peter off once again, they massage their throat and press their face into the cool, rough bark of the tree.

"Well." Loop stretches out, careful not to tumble out of the tree or snap the branch. "You certainly gave me a lot of information... Again."

"Please remember it this time," they murmur, dejected, hollow.

"Ehh. No promises."

Siffrin can only groan.

"But I certainly can try!" They give him a soft smile with their eye.

"Why can't you remember it all? Why is it only me?"

Why me why only me why why why?

"How would I know?" They give an exaggerated shrug. "Maybe you're infecting me with your memory problems."

"How would I even do that?"

They snort. "Well, we've already established time loops are a thing, so infectious amnesia doesn't seem quite so far-fetched anymore." They flick a leaf off their haunch with their tail. "Also, that was a joke."

Siffrin grumbles and knocks their head against the trunk. "Ugh, some help this is. The Universe is just toying with me at this point."

"I'm sorry ?" They raised their brow.

"I found you because the branch broke and you fell out of the tree."

Loop sinks their head into their shoulders. "Eghh, stars, that's unfortunately one of the things I do remember. What of it?"

"If the Universe did that--if it sent you to help , then this is just some sort of sick cosmic joke."

Just like me.

"Okay, first of all, rude. Secondly, the Universe doesn't work like that. It doesn't care about us. It just is. "

Siffrin presses his forehead to the bark. “Ugh, it’s not like any of that is real anyway." He lets out another long-suffering sigh.

"Are you even listening to me?" Loop's ears twitch. “Ehh, we’re getting off-topic anyway.”

Siffrin sniffs and shifts their head to look at them again. The bark scratches at their face and pulls at their hair.

“You still in there, stardust?”

They grunt.

"Okay, good enough," they shrug. "Anyway, I'm assuming you have not defeated the King again.”

"No." He knocks his cheek against the tree.

"Okay, well, did you try the thing I suggested? The er...poison?"

They grimace. "...No."

"And why not?"

Siffrin grits their teeth. "Didn't make it that far."

"Oo, that would mean you died, correct?"

They scrunch their nose and nod.

"Well, try not doing that again!"

He scowls and is only met with a twitch of Loop's ear.

"Well, anyway, now that you're not quite so...er...last night... Maybe we can put our heads together again and think of something else. What did your party do when you talked to them about it, again?"

"I haven't told them. I can 't tell them."

"Right. And you haven't told them once...why?"

“I told you why."

Loop squeezes their eye shut and exhales. "Something about not wanting to hurt them. A ridiculous reason in my humble opinion, but it seems like you're not budging on that." They clap their hands together and turn their eye upward in a smile. "Well! We'll just have to do this in a more roundabout way, then! Maybe there's somewhere you can do more research? You all have libraries here, right?"

They raise an eyebrow at Loop. Duh .

"Mhm. There's one in town and in the House."

"There you go! A new goal to strive for."

"Ehh, I'll check it, I guess."

How many more loops will it take to even find something useful? There's so many books in the House, and you can't even go into most of them.

"Great! Let's make a list of what we need to figure out. First order of business is to find an easier way to kill the King."

Siffrin presses themself even harder into the bark. "Don't even know if I can , I've tried thousands of times and only managed that one time. What if it was a fluke? What if Mira's not able to deal the final blow next time? What if there's never a 'next time'? What if I can't replicate what I did last time and have to fight him another thousand times?"

...

They scream into their hands.

"I can't do that. I can't keep doing this."

Loop's wings droop. "Well, that's what the research and experimenting is for, stardust. Finding another way." Their voice is gentle, soft like their feathers seem to be.

Siffrin's eye focuses on Loop's talons and how they so easily carve through the bark on the tree. An image flashes in their mind of them carving them into the King's throat--of their fangs slicing through all the weak points in his armor as he thrashes around and paints the room in his blood.

He thinks about Loop's jaws around his own throat--

"Can you help us?" The words tumble out of their lips on their own.

Stupid. Why are you asking this?

"Huh? I mean, I already am?" They flick their tail. "Well, trying, at least."

How are you going to explain to your friends? Are you that desperate?

"I mean help us fight the King."

'Oh, hey everyone, do you mind if I bring a blinding dragon thing with us to the fight? No, they won't eat you! Probably!'

"Er, no. I do distinctly remember telling you I'm not supposed to interact with humans. That includes killing them--even if it is regicide." They add that last bit with a huff and a gaze into the distance.

Siffrin sighs.

Well, at least you don't have to think about explaining anything.

"Plus, I won't be much help, I'm no fighter and couldn't kill a human even if I wanted to." There's a tinge of bitterness to that statement.

"But how? You're covered in sharp parts. It should be easy!"

" I am not a weapon !" they hiss, jaws slamming shut and glaring straight at him with an intense, wide-eyed look. Their feathers stand on end and almost vibrate with emotion.

It was enough to make Siffrin jump and straighten himself out.

" I. Don't. Fight . I didn't sign up for any of this." Loop grimaces and slaps their hand to their head, digging their talons into their scalp. "I didn't ask for this blinding migraine or to be dropped at your feet in the dead of night. I'm helping because I'm stuck in this fucking mess too, but I will not fight your battles for you."

A shiver runs down their spine as their blood chills. "Right, okay, sorry."

Loop studies them for a moment longer, making them shrink into their collar and under their hat until they look like a stray pile of clothes.

Loop sighs and scratches the bridge of their snout. "It's fine." A bit of dried skin falls off their scar and spirals down. The exposed flesh underneath makes the space behind Siffrin's good eye ache a bit. The shade of it is...slightly strange, but they can't really put their finger on what is so wrong about it.

Now that it isn’t quite so dark as before, Siffrin can take a closer look at Loop.

They look… not great.

He can't see much of their left eye; there's hardly any left of it besides scar tissue. It doesn't seem like they can open or close it any more than it already is.

The scar on their face is thick and leathery and extends partway down their neck. It's mottled with different shades and patterns, suggesting that it hadn’t been properly healed. It seems to pull their head slightly to the left as the skin has tightened from whatever injury caused it. A burn? There's really nothing else that could have done it...unless it was caused by whatever chemical warfare Loop was talking about.

Siffrin suppresses a shudder.

They seem to be missing feathers here and there, and many of the existing ones are damaged or dirty. And their front legs--the skin on them looks rough and mottled, though not quite as extreme as their facial scar.

It's hard for Siffrin to really guess much about Loop's condition outside of the obvious--it's not like he knows any other rukemis to compare them to. But... thinking about the fluffy round birds hopping around town, and the many, many chickens and ducks they've seen in their lifetime (oh, a memory! He's seen chickens and ducks before, now isn't that useful!) Loop looks... thin.

"Loop, are you hungry?"

They jump slightly; it seems like they were distracted by studying Siffrin themself.

"I could be, perhaps. Maybe a little." They puff out the feathers on their body just a bit.

"I can get you something to eat." They grab their silver coin and squeeze it in their hand until it hurts. "Well, I don't have any money, but I can catch some fish."

Loop's ears turn back, and they sigh. "It's fine, stardust. It's not like it matters if we're going to go back in time anyway."

"...Right."

The sun is close to the horizon. Dinner will be ready soon. Maybe he can leave a plate out for them; it's not like food does him any good anymore.

"Anyway, I'm sure you have places to be soon. So hurry on over to the library to find some other way of killing the King and more about the loops or whatever." They scratch at their throat. "I still vote poison, or dropping the ceiling on him, but I'm sure there's other magic spells you can use to turn him inside out or something."

Ew. But again, too kind an end for him.

"Okay. Thank you, Loop."

"Don't mention it. And please find something soon."

"I'll try."

Siffrin shifts themself and clambers down the massive tree, making each step with care to fight off the pins and needles that have returned. He takes one more glance at Loop as they watch him silently, head resting on their hands.

With a nod, he heads to the library and feels his smile plaster itself back on the moment he reenters Dormont. He wastes no time with pleasantries and heads straight for the nearest bookshelf.

The librarian approaches him anyway. "You're one of the saviors, right?" They ask with a tilt of their head, the beads on their glasses make a funny little clinking sound. "Do you need my help with something?"

He flinches. They stare at the librarian, giving them a questioning gaze. 

Oh right the boulangier isn’t the only villager who talks to you. Oh. When was the last time you even went there? 

A pain au chocolat doesn’t sound terrible in that moment. Maybe they should go grab one. Anything chocolate. Maybe something for Loop, too.

Wait… 

Can Loop eat chocolate? Or will it kill them because they’re part dog or something?

“Hello?” The librarian waves a hand in front of their face. “Are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh, right? No chocolate for me, please—I mean I’m fine, thank you!”

They blink a few times. “Well, okay then. I’ll be over here if you need anything.”

Siffrin pulls their smile wider and waves a ‘thank you’ before turning back to the bookshelves.

Okay, that was blinding awkward of you, but whatever, not like any of this matters in the loops anyway! 

He shakes his head clear. Sliding his finger across the spine of every book, he reads each title carefully, once, sometimes twice, blinking away the fog in his mind.

Useless.

Useless.

Useless.

Weird headache book again.

Oh? No, just basic craft spells.

Nothing. Of course not. They probably checked it a hundred times before and just forgot.

What were they looking for again?

Oh, right, ways to hit the King harder and a book on time loops, as if that's something that exists outside of fiction. Maybe one of Mira’s horror books has something on time loops. Maybe it’s based on a true story too! You just gotta casually ask her—

No, that’s stupid, of course it’s stupid! 

Defeated, they lightly hit their head on the shelf and trudge out. 

Whatever. Whatever! It's something to look forward to. Enrichment!

They blink.

They're at dinner, eating ash once again. He smiles through the banter and is happy to notice that their friends aren't as suspicious as the previous loop. Or at least they don't seem to be.

Something to look forward to. Don't run headlong into your death this time!

He blinks.

They're in bed and Isabeau is once again trying to tell him what he's tried to say a thousand times before.

Don't be stupid, stupid, stupid this time.

They close their eye.

They're back at the House once more. At least they managed to get a little more rest that time. Even if they didn't get to sleep much, they still got to be horizontal for a few hours.

Beats sitting in a tree and talking all night.

It's hopeless.

But at least there's something new to do.

"What do you want with me?"

They flare their nostrils in a loud snort. "I just said, silly! I'm having a teeny tiny little problem, and something tells me you have something to do with it." They look at him as if it's just so obviously their fault. As if he decided to mess with a large feathered dog thing just because.

"What problem?"

They tap two fingers to what Siffrin assumes is their temple. "Just this little horrific migraine and a nauseating sense of deja vu, is all."

Deja what?

They press their fingers into their own temples. "And how is this my fault?"

"I don't know!" Their eye widens, and it flicks around the area. "A premonition. A vibe? Maybe we're soulmates being drawn together finally after missing our connection a thousand times~! So strong it's making me do a big, big no-no and showing myself to a human!"

"What?" They narrow their eye. "Why can't you?"

Siffrin's neck begins to hurt from the strain of staring so far up. They dig their fingers into their shoulders and work their way to the base of their skull.

"That's a secret, silly!" they lilt.

Why am I even here dealing with this?

"Are you going to kill me or not?"

"What?" they snap, jerking their head back and puffing out the feathers on their face. "No? Why would I do that?" Again, said as if it were the most obvious thing and Siffrin was just too blinding stupid to know.

I don't have time for this.

He turns on their heel and leaves.

"Wh—hey! Excuse me, don't walk away from me like that!" they call out to him, yet make no move to follow.

No patience for theatrics from strange, alien creatures; they have their own play to perform in.

Oh.

Right.

He makes it a few more steps away before his blood turns to quicksilver and threatens to drag him into the earth.

The play.

The play that had gone on for far too long. The performance that was just not good enough for the audience, despite finally reaching the end. The role that he...

Just...

Can't...

Play...

Anymore...

...

Over and over and over and—

And...

A new character enters the stage.

Something new.

Maybe, if they can't feel the sweet embrace of a permanent sleep, then they can try talking to this creature to get some sort of break from the eternal monotony. The eternal pain.

Whatever.

It can't possibly get any worse.

What's worse than watching the ones you love die time and time again because you can't blinding figure out how to kill just one guy?

Maybe they can squeeze some novel enrichment from this creature for a few loops until they fade into yet another background character bumbling around Dormont.

He pats his dagger and rolls his head with a thousand crackles. Slowly, laboriously, they turn around.

He can't see the creature from where they perch in the tree, but they can sense their gaze is trained on him from behind the curtain of leaves. Watching. Judging.

They take a step forward, then another. Each footfall feels heavy, leaden, and it takes all their concentration not to stumble over their own feet.

Just see what this anomaly has to say. Why the stars not?

They angle their head up with a creak in their joints that rivals Odile's.

"Welcome back," the creature chirps the moment Siffrin locks eyes with them. They gesture to an empty branch across from them. "It's good to see you again~! I've just missed you so much~! Come! Sit! Sit! We have a lot to talk a—" Suddenly, their ears perk up and they leap out of the tree and vanish behind it.

"Wha—where are—"

"Sif?"

They spin around with a gasp.

"Isa." He straightens up and glues his smile back on as The Fighter approaches. "What are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same question." He takes a step forward. They step back. The corners of Isabeau’s lips twitch down. "I saw you weren't in bed and got worried. Were you talking to someone just now?" He leans to the side to look at the tree.

"Oh uh," Siffrin swallows. "No, uh..." He pulls his hat over his face. "I was just talking to myself. Just a little pre-battle preparey thing. Just asking the Favor Tree for some tree-mendous strength for tomorrow, hahahha..." Ohh that was bad.

Isabeau doesn't even pretend to laugh. Ouch. "Sif, if you're worried, it's okay to talk about it. We all are. Please. I want to help you."

"I don't need your help." Their words hit Isabeau, and he flinches. "I mean I'm fine, really. I didn't mean—I'll be back soon. Sorry." Stupid. Stupid. Can't even say three sentences without blinding everything up.

Isabeau reaches out to Siffrin, hand trembling.

They take a step back.

His hand falls.

"Okay," he finally sighs and lets his head lower. Something twists in Siffrin's chest. "If you really don't want to talk about it, I'll give you space. But Sif, I—I care about you, I...hope you know that. I..." He looks away and grips his shoulder. "I'll see you at the Clocktower."

"See you," they mumble, head low and hidden by their hat. Their eye follows him as he disappears around the bend, glancing behind his shoulder occasionally.

The quicksilver in their veins gets denser still. It pulls, pulls at him, at his legs, chest, mind.

Siffrin turns back to the tree, grinding their heavy limbs into the ground.

"Uh, creature?" He leans closer and tries to peer around the trunk.

"He's still there," they whisper just barely through the leaves rustling in the light breeze.

They fight the urge to whip around...not like the weight on their being would allow them to even if they tried. He lets his head fall into a bow and brings his hands together.

A minute passes in tense silence. Each rustle of leaves or snapping of twigs grates in their ear. Their mind wanders. Something new. Something new. Something new.

"Okay." The creature's voice jolts Siffrin's mind back to the present.

Bark cracks and patters against the roots as they climb back up to their branch. Siffrin catches glimpses of feathers briefly flicking out from behind the trunk until they haul themself back into view. They shake a twig from the feathers on their head and lock their gaze back on him.

"All right, where were we?" they say with a flourish of their hand and a flick of their tail.

Siffrin shrugs.

Their ear flicks, and they heave a sigh. "Talkative, aren't you? How about you come up for a chat right here. This is hurting my neck staring down at you." They point two claws at the branch across from them. They suddenly wince and grip the top of their head just over their scar. In only a second, they regain composure and nod to the spot once more.

Siffrin merely blinks and begins to haul themself up the trunk.

Their back is wide open as they climb; one swipe from those claws or bite from those jaws would probably be enough to put them in the ground, and yet...

It would certainly be a new and interesting way to go. Preferable to whatever the King has planned for them in this loop.

After a few slip-ups that sometimes pull a gasp from the creature's throat, he finally makes it to the branch they were gesturing toward.

He flops down on the ancient wood and all but deflates against the trunk. They stare, but the creature's eye is locked onto one of the Crafted lanterns Siffrin knocked into on the way up. It sways wildly, but with Siffrin no longer bumbling their way through the branches, it soon stills.

“Let’s not start a forest fire tonight, shall we?” The creature lets out a small huff before turning back to him. When the two of them lock eyes, they flinch back.

"Geez, you look like shit, are you—" They shake their head and a wave of puffed feathers runs down their body.

Shit?

"Erm—I mean—" They tilt their head and their eye curls up in what Siffrin assumes is a smile. Their...lips don't seem to move very much.

"Hello stardust!" they crow and lean forward to emphasize those words. They dip their head in what seems like a bow and flare both wings out even further before folding them against their back. "I've been watching you today and feel like we need to have a little talk ~!"

Wonderful. A stalker. As if this wasn’t enough to deal with already.

Whatever.

Something new.

They wipe away the tears drying on their face. A chip of wood breaks and falls past them. It lands on the ground with a little plink. Siffrin stares down for a moment.

"You broke the branch earlier today," they mumble, not looking up.

The creature's eye goes wide, their jaw snaps shut with a loud click, and all the feathers on their upper body flare out. In a blink, though, they've shaken them down flat again.

"Erhm, what branch? This is the first time I've broken anything like this, and it was all because your little crisis was quite distracting to me," they state with a huff.

Siffrin grunts.

"An—y—way. Not important! What is important is you telling me what exactly you know about—" They point to their head with their claw in a circular gesture, but it's cut off with a wince. "Whatever this is." They run their claws through their feathers and press down on the top of their head, just above their scar.

Siffrin still has no idea why they think he has anything to do with it—or that he even knows a single thing about it.

"I don't know."

"Hm." Their ears fold back. Their gaze flicks across his face for a moment. "Well, do you have any idea why I suddenly have such a strong feeling that I've lived this day a thousand times over?"

Siffrin blinks. They lift their head just a bit to lock eyes with the creature.

Wait.

Wait.

WAIT.

"YOU CAN FEEL THE LOOPS?" They nearly jolt out of the tree.

"The ehhwhat?"

Siffrin kicks against the trunk in an attempt to stand up but fails spectacularly in a shower of wood chips. A small branch next to them is all there is to stop them from tumbling to their death or dismemberment. "THE TIME LOOPS! THE TIME LOOPS I'VE BEEN STUCK IN FOR YEARS NOW AND CAN'T GET OUT OF! YOU CAN FEEL THEM?!"

"Time loops?" they scoff. "You expect me to believe that? Do you have any idea how much energy and tech it takes to even jump a bit forward in time? You can't just do that in ye olde fantasy land, that's completely imposs—"

"It's not! I'm NOT LYING! WHY WOULD I LIE!?" He jolts forward and nearly falls off the branch...again. The creature flinches away as the feathers on their shoulders puff up.

"I can't get out! I've been trying for so long! I don't know what to do! I finally did it! We beat him and I STILL GOT SENT BACK! He killed us so many times, and we finally won! We WON! WE WON AND IT STILL WASN'T ENOUGH!" The words tumble from Siffrin's lips while their mind lags several seconds behind. He finally forces his hand to his mouth when his stomach does a flip. Almost, almost a tug, but not quite.

He still chokes back a retch. Bile claws its way up his throat.

"It wasn't enough." The words escape as a strained whimper.

The creature blinks. "Oh, you're serious," they finally say. "Ah, well. A time loop isn't exactly an answer I was expecting." They place the tips of their claws together so their hands form a triangle over their star.

"Please believe me," Siffrin sobs with a strained whine. "Please, please, I've been going through this alone this entire time, and I can't do it anymore. I've died so many times, my friends—my friends have died so many times I've failed them so many times I don't know what to do I don't know what to do I can't even quit, I can't escape. Please believe me."

"Okay, okay," their voice offers a hint of comfort and ease as they lower it to something strangely soft and gentle. "I'll hear you out on this, at least." They shift around so that all their limbs are resting on the branch. They mumble, lower, averting their gaze. “It’s not like anything in this world makes sense anyway, so might as well learn the rules of this simulation or coma dream I’ve gotten myself trapped in or something.”

“Simu-what?”

They don’t seem to hear him—if they did, they don’t react.

Their head snaps back to him, causing him to jolt. Their cheery expression is back, and they tilt their head in a way Siffrin might have found adorable if they weren’t so dead inside. 

"So! Stardust."

"Siffrin," they absently correct. Their eye is still wide and their breath is heavy.

The creature clicks their jaws and their eye widens. "Sif...frin." They wince with another, larger pang and shrink in on themself for a brief moment.

"Oh, my." A high rumble emanates from their chest. "We haven't even properly introduced ourselves, have we? And here I am asking you to spill your guts out to me." They bring a hand to their scar but set it down without touching it.

"You wanted to know what I am, yes? Well, I'm a rukemi. And you can refer to me as singular they and them, which is what we generally use in human languages."

"Okay." They grip their hands together tight enough for their gloves to make a strained sound. The rukemi's head tilts just a bit to look at them.

"Just okay?" they huff. "You're not going to ask—never mind."

"Oh." Siffrin pauses while their gaze drifts to the rukemi's scar. "What happened to your eye?"

They flinch again. "Well, that's not the question I was implying. That's a bit rude to be asking so boldly on our first meeting! Especially before you even ask me my name!"

"Oh." They blink. "You...have a name?"

"What? Of course I have a name!" They seem genuinely offended, but it's cut off by another wince. "You can call me..." They roll their head around. "Loop."

"Loop?"

"Yes, Loop!" They raise the feathers atop their head and smile with their single eye.

"That's your name?" Blinding stupid that's what it is.

"It is now~!"

Siffrin opens their mouth to argue but slams it shut. Nope. Not worth it.

"Is that a...rumi...kumi thing?"

"Rukemi."

"Okay."

Loop's ears flick back, and the fan of their tail twitches. They do a little stretch and flex all their toes. "Sooooo...Time loops?"

"Yeah...I—" He scrapes his fingers along the bark with both hands. "I..." They kick their feet back and forth. Back and forth. In and out. 

What is he even doing? Is he really about to spill out everything about the loops to a strange, dangerous-looking creature who won't even give him their name?

They hold their gaze on the creature. They simply stare back silently, occasionally breaking their stillness with a slow blink.

...

Yes.

Yes, he is.

Because why wouldn't he? Why not? Everything is pointless, after all! They're not getting out of the loops ever, so they might as well spice it up with a little monster therapy!

Something like that!

Something new!

They grab a leaf and start to break it apart, staining their fingers with its dark blood.

Or maybe...

Maybe...

Maybe they were sent to help.

He doesn't dare hope, and yet...

Maybe, possibly, the Universe actually heard his pleas.

They did appear after they made a wish, after all.

No. No. Don't think it. Don't hope. Don't dream. You can't handle any more letdowns.

But...but if I can convince them to help fight the King, then maybe I can figure out how to break the loops, too.

No, no, you can't ask them. What will your friends think of you bringing a blinding dragon thing through the House with you?

But if it keeps them from being hurt, then it's worth a try, right?

Stop, don't even think about it, you still know nothing about them. Maybe they're actually the cause of the loops and are just toying with you directly now!

"Stardust?"

Siffrin jumps, and their eye snaps toward Loop. The rukemi's face is tense, and they shift around on their branch. Their tail coils around the end.

"Your hair."

"Huh?"

He blinks away the thoughts clawing at the margins of his mind until he becomes aware of his fingers tangled tightly in bunches of hair. Slowly, he releases his grip and lets his hands fall. The leaf he had been holding wasn't much more than a mashed paste against his glove.

"Thanks," they mumble. “It's Siffrin." They peel the leaf off their glove. "And he/they."

"Stardust, he/they."

What remains of their left eyelid twitches. Another rukemi thing, they suppose. He sighs.

It's okay. It has to be okay. It's not like I can't just loop and avoid this creature if they turn out to be hostile.

Though if they have some sense that the loops exist, then who knows what they'll remember next time.

“Are you okay?”

Ah, blind it all.

Siffrin opens their mouth. They cough out a few hoarse words and stop. Deep breath. They swallow to wet their throat and begin again.

Start with the basics.

"I—I wasn't lying when I said I'm stuck in a time loop. I don't know why, but I've been stuck here for...it has to be years now. And..." They mumble out a disjointed summary of what they've been experiencing—at least what they remember of it. The loops, their quest, dying, dying so so many times—to sadnesses, to traps, to the King, the fact that they were sent back after defeating the blinding tyrant after countless tries.

Loop simply watches them the entire time. Their rarely-blinking eye is trained on them, unmoving, while their neck adjusts its position near imperceptibly as the branch sways. Tension seems to flow through their head in waves. Siffrin watches as their face seems to tighten, their tail twitches, and they scrape their claws against the tree. Occasionally, when Siffrin raises their voice, Loop will press down on their head with a soft hiss. Despite that, they don't try to stop him.

When Siffrin reaches the end of their summary, of sorts, they find they can't stop talking. An ancient dam in their mind crumbles and lets loose an ocean's worth of words and debris that clog their mind. They can almost feel their words pour out of their throat.

Get it out.

Just let it out.

They tell Loop everything.

There's no order to what they share; one moment they're blurting out the location of a key they have trouble with, the next he's describing in detail the way Isabeau held their hands so tightly at the end of their last loop, and another they lament the time Bonnie used their sharpening stone as a skipping stone.

He finds himself squeezing his hands together, trying to simulate the warmth—the sweaty warmth that Isabeau's hands enveloped theirs in.

Everything.

They interrupt, bulldoze, cut themself off constantly. Every little memory from the start of their journey with their party, they spill.

Loop keeps staring. Feathers ruffled, eye wide, ears back, talons digging into the bark and occasionally breaking off bits to crush into sawdust.

His head screams and screams, as if it's being dragged through the crack beneath a door as they dig through and resurface hazy memories long believed to be forgotten.

The memories are not full, or particularly useful to anyone but—

They're still there, still inside them! They're not lost! He just has to keep digging! And if they have to torment some random creature with boring details of their life, then so be it.

He keeps going.

A flicker of a play in a dark theater. Two men stand on stage and kiss while the Kid—Bonnie, sitting to his right, pulls their face in a grimace and makes an exaggerated retching gesture.

Bonnie. Bonnie. Bonbon!

The feeling of their fingers brushing through hair as they help Mirabelle dry herself after she fell into a river. The whole party nearly had a collective heart attack when it happened. Siffrin dove in after her without a second thought and...she already knew how to swim. To make things worse, it was she who grabbed his hat before the current carried it away.

Mirabelle. Mirabelle. Mira!

The smell of musty books and the sight of strange knickknacks from around the world and through the ages covering every surface in a small shop. He holds up a small cow figurine to the one he's browsing with, and a terrible joke escapes his lips. He can't hold back a cheeky grin as she buries her face in her hand and moves to another aisle.

Odile. Odile. Madame Odile!

The booming laughter of his comedy partner after they casually pun their way out of another blunder they couldn't quite remember. The way the corners of his eyes crinkle and his face seems to glow in the evening light. The way he still checks them over for injuries, careful not to touch them, despite them assuring him they were unharmed.

Isabeau. Isabeau. Isa!

A towering sadness in the distance bearing down on three exhausted heroes battling it. He runs through the tall grass, dagger in hand. Another sadness, almost on top of a terrified child cornered in a time-frozen gorge. Siffrin's legs burn as they push their Craft past its limits to reach them.

Isabeau. Odile. Mirabelle. Bonnie.

Those were their names, their faces, who they were. Who they are when they're not being forced into a single role in a cosmic play.

As he mentions them by name, Loop's expression shifts; their eye widens then narrows, the feathers behind their neck raises slightly, and their breathing hitches.

Siffrin keeps going. Digging deeper, deeper into their memories.

The frustration of having to eat foraged greens for dinner again as they failed to find anything filling, didn't have the money to buy even a bite of food, and couldn't bring themself to beg despite knowing some kind Vaugardian family would be willing to take him in for the night if they asked.

Waking up on a beach and...They shake their head. No. Not that one.

The smell of overripe mangoes overwhelming their senses as they clamber up a massive tree. A gentle, yet frustrated voice calls out to them, and they look to see the face of their—

◄◄

The scent of mangoes.

They have to have those memories. They have to remember. Even if it means laying their whole life bare before this stranger.

Even if it means ripping their throat to shreds and speaking more than they've spoken throughout the entirety of their loops.

They

have

to

remember.

After some hours, their words flow to a trickle. They grip their throat and look at Loop. Panting. Burning. Trembling. 

They try to wet it, but their mouth has long since dried up. Their memories are running dry too—coming in small bursts—just simple things like a pun with no context or a meal by a campfire. They want to keep going, and going, and going until every last memory is dredged up from the mire in their mind.

But.

They can't.

That's it.

He looks to Loop. They stare back. Their expression is...complicated. Or maybe not, as Siffrin is not exactly an expert on rukemi body language.

Loop seems to pick up on their empty gaze.

"Well," They begin. They open their jaws and shut them with a click. "That's a lot to unpack."

Siffrin's whole body grimaces as they attempt to swallow again. They nod.

"You look like you really needed that."

They try to wheeze a confirmation but are reduced to only a nod.

"Do you want me to get you some water or something? With all due respect, you look terrible." They shift their body and begin to rise.

"No!" Siffrin nearly falls off again. Had they not been wearing gloves, they might have worn their palms raw by how many times they've iron-gripped the rough bark—they might have anyway, as their skin feels almost tingly. 

Loop's ears flick, and they plop back down. The branch sways dangerously, and they dig their claws deep into the wood until it relaxes, and they do in turn.

"I-I mean," they close their eye and breathe out. They look back into Loop's searching eye. "I'm fine. I'll get some later."

Loop searches his face for a moment, then sighs. "Anyway," they perk up into that flamboyant tone once again. "Well! That sure is...a lot!"

"I told you everything."

"You sure did!" They bob their head and clap their hands together. "And then some! And some more! And a little bit extra~! Can't promise I'll remember all of that, either! Or any of it!"

Siffrin wants to groan, but they can only manage a dry sigh.

"So where to start?" They idly pick at a loose feather at the base of their jaw. They flick it away and lock eyes with Siffrin as it flutters down.

They grunt, massaging their throat. "You use words, too." Usually.

"That's even more like magic!" They pinch the bridge of their snout and go silent for a while. Siffrin watches the minute twitching of the feathers around their ears. "Whatever, this is no more unbelievable than time loops. Is that what makes those weird matryoshka-looking statues dance around?"

"Matry-what?" He raises an eyebrow. "The Change God statues?"

"Sure, yes, Change God, whatever." They dip their head. "Is that how they move? I assumed there was always some sort of mechanism inside, but could never get close enough to check."

He shakes his head. "Crafted that way."

"Oh, don't look at me like I should know these things. Take it easy on this ol' foreigner." They close their eye for even longer than before. "Just tell me about Craft. Pretend I'm just a little baby being given their first lesson."

Siffrin hums and thinks. How to explain to a child... A very large child covered in knives.

They take a deep breath and do their best to explain as simply, yet quickly as possible, with their throat fighting them the entire way. He snaps his fingers and whispers 'Make up the Time,' and Craft energy sparkles around them.

"Oh," Loop gasps. Their ears are fully forward, and the large feathers between them vibrate. They look away and speak almost too low for Siffrin to hear. "That's—no, that wouldn't...they're nothing alike, you're just grasping at stars now." Their claw taps against the back of their hand, and they sway their head from side to side, looking at nothing in particular. "But the rules are different here..."

Their gaze focuses back on Siffrin. "You say everyone can do this right?"

"Most everyone." Where is this going?

Loop digs at a spot between their teeth. "And this power—Craft, it's just you who controls it? Within yourself?"

"...Yes?" Siffrin's head tilts as they raise their eyebrow.

"No other, er...entities in there with you? Helping you?"

"........No?"

"Hmm. Definitely not that, then. Unless..." Loop bites down on their nail. Siffrin massages their own fingers as Loop's talon cracks between their teeth. They don’t even seem to notice they did that outside of a small twitch as they mumble to themself. "Well, we've already blinding established this place is weird as fuck so why wouldn't humans be able to do it on their own?"

There's that word again. Fuck?

"Do what? Craft?"

"Huh?" Loop is jerked from their thoughts. "Oh, uh, yes. Craft."

"Where are you from?" Siffrin narrows their gaze. They continue to massage their throat. It's getting a little easier for him to talk, but the words still come out with a bit of a wheeze.

"Far away." Loop seems only half paying attention. They mumble something too low for Siffrin to hear.

"How far?"

"Very."

Siffrin grumbles.

"Further than Ka Bue?"

"Err," they tilt their head and look off to the side, "sure, yes."

Siffrin narrows their gaze.

"It's not important stardust~!" They press the tips of their claws together in front of the star on their chest. Something about the cracked one makes Siffrin's head feel like it's being squeezed.

"Why are you calling me that, anyway?"

They hum and stare off pensively. "It..." They continue to gaze into the distance as their ears pull back further and further. "Doesn't matter." They shut their jaws with a click and throw their peppy mask right back on. "We're getting off track, stardust~! We need to find you a solid plan to kick that piece of shit into next week and break these loops~!"

What even are these swears? Shit???

Another sigh. "Right, yeah."

Siffrin grabs their upper arms and rubs hard, grimacing. They don't want to even think about going back in the blinding building again, but...

"Oh, uh, erm, well..." They shift positions on the branch. "Perhaps go at him from a different angle. Sneak up from behind. Drop the ceiling on him. Poison him. Set him on fi—" They cut themself off with a grimacing snarl. They raise a paw toward the left side of their face but stop and weave their fingers through their other hand. "Electrocute him?"

"Electro-what?"

"You know, like electricity? Lightning? None of you have Lightning Craft or whatever?"

Siffrin blinks. "No? How would we even do that?"

"Ehh, never mind." They wave their paw at him in a brushing motion. "My vote is poison~! That's usually how they disposed of tyrants back then...I think. Or maybe...ehh..." They pause and mumble quietly to themself. Siffrin leans forward. "Do I really want to go there..?"

"Go where?" Their breathing picks up, and he finds himself gripping the branch harder.

"Ah...er...well if it's to defeat a tyrannical monarch I suppose the er...ethics of it all will cancel out, really no different than regular poison, after all." They heave a long sigh. "You could always gas him."

"What?"

"You know. Poison gas. I loathe to suggest chemical warfare, but desperate times call for desperate measures, I suppose. Just throw some bottles of chlorine and ammonia on him and run for the hills and just wait for him to die horribly."

"Chlorine and ammo-what? Where would I even find any of that?"

"Hmm, so that’s probably not a thing yet," they say in a low voice. Siffrin's not sure if they were meant to hear it.

Not a thing yet? He squints.

"Never mind," Loop says a bit louder. "I suppose that's for the best. It's more likely you'd end up poisoning yourselves and the entire house as well. I'm guessing you probably don't have guns either, otherwise somebody would have shot him by now."

"What are any of these things?" Siffrin raises a brow. "Are you…from the future?"

Loop's eye twitches, and they stare straight into him. "Would saying 'yes' get you to stop asking me questions about myself?"

He sighs. "Fine." Not worth pushing right now.

"Then yes!" they sing with a flutter of their wings. "I'm from the future! Five million, six-hundred thirty-six thousand, and two years to be precise~!"

Siffrin just looks at them.

"Anyway, lye!"

"Huh!?"

"You know, mix ash with water and you get stuff that burns real bad! I think...something like that. Just get a few buckets full and splash it on him and run away until his face is half-melted off, then finish him off~! Much less likely to poison the surrounding area!"

Siffrin grimaces at the thought. Gruesome, but still kinder than the King deserves. Ohh, if only he could force it down his throat until it rips through his innards and burns him from the inside out until there's nothing left. They claw at their stomach as images of that fate flash through their mind.

"I guess I can try... If not that, then something. The worst that can happen is we all die and start again." 

…

They don’t want to think about the again .

"That's the spirit stardust~! Think outside the box, and you may find victory! But oh!" They tilt their head and let out a slow rattling from their throat, almost like a growl. "You say he has this one attack that kills you all at once, correct?"

Siffrin flinches as the wet crackling of Mirabelle's body slamming against the floor reverberates through their mind. Nothing's too gruesome for the King.

He nods.

"How?"

"Huh?"

"Like, does he smash you like bugs?" Loop swipes their claws out in front of them. "Or shoot you with something?"

"Oh." He swallows. "He kind of just cries and..." They snap their fingers. "And then our heads just—" He makes a clawed gesture with both hands and fakes slamming them against his head.

"He crushes your heads? That certainly is brutal, to say the least."

"Not literally. Just...hurts so so so so much and then we—" They curl over and cover their ears and massage their temples.

"Hmm, well, perhaps some hearing protection, to start."

"It's not sound, it's some sort of Craft."

"Right, Craft. I feel like your party would be a lot more help in that department than me, but it seems you haven't asked them for help."

"I can't." He flinches in on himself.

"Why not?"

"I can't let them know we can't win." They can't. They can't. Even when they did. They. Still. Can't. Win.

Another sigh. "But you say you did, once. And they might know something we don't."

"I would have found something on my own by now."

Loop growls from deep in their chest. "Well, stardust, I don't know how much help I could possibly be if you don't work with your party too. As much as you told me about—" they wave their hand in a circular gesture, "everything...you still didn't give me that much to work with."

"I can't tell them."

Loop rolls their whole head in a groan. "I don't see why it would matter if they forget either way, but I suppose you're not budging on this."

Siffrin doesn't speak for a moment. They kick at a Crafted lantern dangling by their foot. They miss. 

Of course. 

“Be careful!” Loop snaps, puffing up immediately. “Are you trying to set the entire forest on fire?”

“What?” They look at the light. “With the Crafted lantern?”

“Is that not real fire?” They twist their head as their feathers relax.

“No, it’s Crafted .”

“Right,” they blink and slowly break their gaze from the lantern. “Anyway, your party.”

"I've made it this far not telling them."

Loop snorts. "And where has that gotten you?" They sigh with a faint rattle. Their exhale lasts much longer than Siffrin expects, and they find themself feeling winded just watching it.

"Perhaps...you say the hero of time, the main character, Maribel, is the one destined to defeat the King, perhaps she was the one who's supposed to deal the finishing blow? That's usually how it is in the stories."

"Mirabelle," they correct. "And this isn't a..." His eye snaps wide, and their head shoots up. "Wait. Mira. MIRA is the Change God's chosen one, not me! Loop!"

"Eep! Yes, stardust?" They dig their claws into the branch.

"You're a blinding genius! What if that's it!? Oh! Oh stupid, stupid, stupid! She's the one supposed to kill the King, not me! We tried so so many times, and when we finally got him to his knees I...I..."

You ruined everything, idiot. Stupid. You were so close and your blinding useless self had to make the final hit. All that work, all the pain they went through was for nothing because you DIDN'T BLINDING LET MIRA DEAL THE FINISHING BLOW?

"Er, stardust?" They don't seem convinced even though it's obvious Siffrin is right!

"Ha! This is good, this is great even! If it's something that simple, then all we have to do is go through the house again, and I'll just let Mira finish him off herself! That's fine! This is fine!"

Loop carves circles into the bark. "Er... well that is a good theory, but suppose that's not the ans—"

He doesn't even let them finish. They can't ruin the moment. "It is it! It has to be!"

Because if it's not, then...

Then...

Loop claps their hands together and perks up their head feathers. "Okay. Well. You're the expert on this uni-country, perhaps you still know things I don't!" They tilt their head, smiling with their single eye. The muscles around their destroyed one twitched in an attempt to mirror the grin. It falls after a brief moment, and they speak again. "But suppose it isn't?"

"It has to be. It has to be." Siffrin repeats it like a mantra, not even processing Loop's words. "We just...we can...we just have to do it again. Just...if I repeat what I did last time. Then we can do it. We can do it and we'll be free and...and..." He just has to brave the House one more time. Just once more.

"Thank you, Loop. Thank you. This has to be it. It has to be!" They look at Loop's puffed-out feathers and are overcome with the urge to bury their face in them. They seem so soft. Like a giant chicken.

But no, that would be weird. Maybe even weirder than doing that to another human in Loop's eyes...eye. Who knows how rukemis are about touch.

"Ehh...You're...quite welcome stardust~!" Their lilt is back again. "Let me know how it goes."

"You'll still be here, right?"

"Perhaps," they shrug with a little flair of their wings. "Or I might have moved on already and vanished back into the shadows where I belong! I don't know!"

"Oh." They did say they weren't supposed to interact with humans, didn't they? Siffrin can't help but feel a little hurt either way. "Well—" He gazes up to the canopy at the dim light filtering through.

"Stars! Stars! Blind it all!" He looks around wildly and sees more light from every direction. "It's so late! I have to sleep! I—" They jump down and almost slip off the lower branch. "Thank you, Loop! Again!" His feet hit the ground, and his knees buckle. Static runs up their legs, but they shake it off and take one last look at Loop and wave. "I'll have to thank you in person when we win! I'll bring you a whole roast chicken or something."

" Please don't ." Loop's entire body seemed to flatten with their ears.

"Okay, well. Something else then. Good night! Good morning! Whatever it is!" They take off.

"Wait!"

He skids to a halt and whirls around. "Yes, Loop?" His grin is wide and starts to hurt again. They can barely see Loop from where they stand.

"Don't tell anyone about my existence." Their words are low. "Please."

"What? Why?"

"Like I mentioned earlier." They lower their head so Siffrin can see them better. "I'm really, really not supposed to be talking with humans here. And I'm-I'm risking a lot following my gut to speak with you. But every part of me is telling me the consequences of not contacting you will be far worse."

"Oh." He's not sure what to make of it, and frankly, he doesn't feel like he has the space in his racing mind to think too deeply on it. "Okay."

"So you won't tell?"

"No. Of course not. What's one more secret, anyway?" they mumble, half to themself.

"Great!" Loop lights up with their chipper tone. "I knew you'd understand. I wish you the best of luck in your regicidal endeavor~!"

"Thank you. Thank you so much, Loop. I'll be back. I promise!" They turn and run off, stumbling a bit as the pins and needles subside.

Loop doesn't reply, but Siffrin can almost sense them waving awkwardly back.

This is it. It has to be it. This is it. It has to be it.

They slip on a dewy leaf but catch themself in the nick of time.

Duh. Of course. Of course. She's the chosen one, not you! You're just Siffrin! Just a traveler who's on this journey because he has nothing better to do! Of course, it's not you who should have dealt the final blow!

They breeze through the town, over the broken bridge, and slip into the Clocktower as quiet as a mouse.

It's just so simple, of course you messed it up!

He creeps up the stairs and moves past the sleeping bodies of his friends.

This has to be it.

Odile is sleeping in her usual face-up position with her notebook opened against her chest.

It has to be it!

The—Bonnie somehow has Mirabelle's sleeping cap wrapped around their hand and half the blanket wrapped around a leg.

It has to be. For them.

He comes to a stop by Isabeau. He's curled up against the wall, holding onto Siffrin's pillow for dear life. His face is pulled tight, less relaxed than his normal sleeping face.

A pang works its way through Siffrin's chest. Have they worried him that much that he can't even escape it in his dreams?

They slip in beside him and wrestle a bit of the blanket away. Their cloak should be enough to keep them from freezing but it would be nice to not wake up with frostbitten toes.

He has to sleep, he has to rest. He has to get this done this loop. It has to be it! They squeeze their eye shut and let out a long, slow breath. Isabeau positively radiates heat, and Siffrin finds themself sliding closer and closer.

Not too close, though—that would be disgusting of him—just until his back hits the pillow he wishes was under his head.

It's fine though; their arm will suffice for now. It's probably fair after all the times they've stolen the blankets from him, after all.

Okay. They squeeze their eye shut. Sleep time.

Sleep time.

Just a little bit is all they ask.

They think about mangoes.

Maybe they can find some after this is over.

He thinks about chasing a thieving fox carrying some bread stolen from a crying Bonnie.

He'll get that fox back some day.

They think about...

The sound of shattering bones.

No. No. It's fine. We'll get the...the...oh, you never finished talking about that part, did you?

It's fine! You'll figure something out. Maybe you do just need hearing protection!

That's it. It has to be.

It has to be.

It has to be.

They find themself mouthing the words as their body gets heavy.

Please. Please. Please, it has to be it.

It has to be.

They won't let any other thought enter their mind.

It has to—

"FRIN WAKE UP!"

Siffrin launches upright and finds themself on the floor in a flash, and in another flash, Isabeau is by his side.

"It has-wha?" They blink in the bright light beaming down on them through the opened window.

"What!? Frin, you can't sleep in today! We gotta kick the King's crabbing butt! Breakfast is ready. Let's go!" They scamper off and stomp loudly down the stairs to the dining area.

"You okay, Sif?" Isabeau hovers over them.

"Huh? Yeah, was just dreamin'."

"Okay, you weren't out too late, were you?" He holds a hand out to them.

Siffrin grapples the sides of the bed and hauls themself up. Isabeau lets his hand fall to his side and makes a shaky fist as they get their bearings on their own.

"Okay, okay, food. breakfast. Let's go." They stumble out of the room and down the stairs to the dining area. Isabeau follows after a moment of hesitation and settles at the table next to Bonnie.

"Good morning, Siffrin!" Mirabelle smiles over a massive stack of pancakes. "How are you feeling? Better, I hope?"

"Huh?" They plop down next to her. "Oh, yes, much better! All I needed was a good night's sleep."

They still do. He shovels his own breakfast down his throat, ignoring how it tastes like nothing and vanishes into an infinite void.

Mirabelle studies their face as they plaster their smile back on. After a moment, she smiles softly and leans back in her chair, hugging her orb to her chest.

"Okay, if you're sure, then that's a relief! You had us all worried yesterday."

Odile sets down her utensils. "Yes, you were acting a bit concerning, so I'm relieved to see you more...together...today... More or less. I shouldn't have to remind you that we all need to be at our best."

Siffrin nods vigorously. "Yep! At my best! I'm pretty confident about everything now!"

Isabeau smiles. "Well, if Sif is feeling this confident, then we really don't have anything to worry about, do we?" Siffrin almost doesn't see his smile fall as they turn their attention to their last pancake.

Nope. Because this is it. The last loop. We can get through in one go, and this time I won't be stupid and I'll let Mirabelle make the kill!

He swirls his fork in the leftover syrup on his plate. "Orb-viously this'll be a piece of pan- cake!"

"Ha!" Isabeau crows while everyone else nearly falls from their chairs from rolling their eyes so hard.

It has to be it.

He blinks and they're all standing before the House's gate.

It has to be it.

They all place their orbs into the slots in the gate. Siffrin hums just loud enough to muffle the scraping sound of the massive door opening.

He slips inside the moment he can and nearly leaves his party in the dust. When Odile chides him, he waits a moment, almost jogging in place for them to catch up.

There's no other options.

They're past the first hallway and are presented with three doors.

Siffrin stops. Their eye flicks between the doors, and they think.

Weren't there just two doors? Storage room with the key and the way forward.

They move to the right and enter a nearly empty room.

Definitely not a storage room. He spots the key on the ground and mentally shrugs as he picks it up.

Must be misremembering things. It has been a while since they were on the first floor.

They nod along to their friend's dialogue and move on to the room opposite them the moment there's a lull in conversation.

Ah, yes, this is the storage room. He taps his toes to the floor as Odile walks around and snatches every tonic and broth up into her bag.

Yeah, this seems right, he thinks. He must have just mixed it up with another room.

It's fine. It's fine! He just has to be on his toes more and get them all through this safely. No room for mistakes.

Isabeau approaches him and looks as if he's about to speak, but Siffrin moves on.

No room for mistakes. This is the last loop.

It has to be.

They almost run through the long, empty hallway ahead.

It has to be.

"Wait, Siffrin!" Mirabelle cries out, but they keep going.

It h—

There's a click from above him and in an instant their whole body reacquainted with the floor, both inside and out and in every direction.

It's quick—just a little fire in every single nerve before it all goes dark and they're thrown into the uncaring void.

Ah.

Right.

The rock trap...

'No room for mistakes!'

'This is the last l—'

They

            feel

                            a

              tug

on

                   their

Siffrin wakes up in Dormont.

The grass pricks at his neck.

He sighs.

Coward.

Coward! Not even going to give them the chance to try anymore?

What are you even afraid of, stupid? It's not like that last death was the worst or anything!

Pretty quick, comparatively! You didn't bleed out while watching the King throwing Mira's body on the floor until it fell apart! You didn't have to stare at Isabeau's smashed-in face wheeze and cry until he stopped breathing! You didn't--

He growls, shakes his head, and slams his fist on the ground.

Whatever, it's whatever! You'll do it next time.

You got to know your allies better at least.

And found out that Bonnie's sister's friend lost some fingers to a seal.

They shudder.

Time to go see Loop again.

>>>

"Again, I see?" The rukemi dangles precariously off their branch; their head and neck is twisted almost upside down, watching them. They squint. "Er...ssssssssssstardust?"

He nods, avoiding eye contact as he seats himself on his branch.

"Well, that's no good." They frown but morph into a look of confusion immediately. "Remind me what it is again?"

They press their palm over their eye. "Mirabelle told me about a kitten I found in the woods. A little fluffy striped one. We couldn't take her with us, so I gave her to a family in the next town." They run their fingers down the back of their hand as if petting the kitten. "I hope they took good care of her."

Loop perks up and lets out a tiny squeal. "Awww, kitten! How old? Wait, what do they have to do with the uh...whatever thing?" They close their eye. "Theeeeeee... Regicide? Yes! Is the tyrant deathly allergic to cats?"

"I talked to them. My allies. About stuff I remembered." He rips off a strip of bark and watches small bugs scuttle around in a panic.

"Huh?"

"It was...nice. Even if we're not friends."

"Not friends? With the, uh...your party?"

"That's what Odile said." He kicks his feet.

Loop squints. "Oh, right, the Researcher, correct? Really, stardust, you're all over the place here. I'm not sure how you expect me to follow along~!"

They swing their legs as Loop's words wash over them.

"It's fine though!" he giggles. "As long as they're all happy and never find out this is hopeless, then it doesn't matter what they think of me!"

"Ehhhhhhhhhh..." Loop's face pulls tight. "That's probably not the healthiest way to frame it."

Siffrin lets out a tired laugh. "It's fine . I just gotta get used to this new normal! I guess! It's not so bad! I think I'm getting a little stronger. Maybe."

"Oh? Did you manage to make any progress?"

He pauses, then blinks some awareness back. "Uh...yeah," he sweats. "We almost had him this time, we just uh...We were real quiet but… someone uhhhhhhh...sneezed! And he—"

They do not want to imagine that scenario...

Not like it's worse than what they've already experienced!

Loop cringes. "Well...that's no good!"

"Nope! Tee hee~!"

"Try not to do that next time, stardust~!"

"No promises~!"

Loop snorts. "Well, anyway, you do need to stop being cryptic and tell me about what the fuck is going on, still! Are you proud of me for at least remembering you're trying to kill a King?"

Siffrin snorts. "It makes things a bit easier, so, yeah, I guess."

>>>

It doesn't take long for some things to start settling back into a new 'normal' on Siffrin's ascent through the House. Collecting bottles of caustic chemicals is now as routine as hitting their hip on that one table—except it's now a counter in an entirely different kitchen instead of a table in a room they've already forgotten, because of course it is! Sadnesses have started showing up earlier and earlier in their trek through the House, rooms vanish and reappear on entirely different floors every few loops. Nothing makes sense, but at least it's enrichment and helps keep him from zoning out so much.

Tee hee~!

It takes even less time for their sessions with Loop to become routine, too. At least the contents of their talks aren't all the same!

At least he can still pull some memories out of whatever muck is inside their head.

Fewer and fewer each time, but it's fine! It's still fine as long as they're getting something !

They know it won't last forever!

They need to enjoy it while they can...

Just pass Isabeau, get to Loop, clamber up the tree, manage their confusion, 'lore dump', get told they have no new ideas for him, get told to "talk to your party, they know more than I do about this weird-ass fantasy France." Blah blah blah. Whatever 'France' is.

And every time he has to tell them that it won't matter—that they'll just fall into despair and resent and hate him for failing them and trapping them with him forever.

They can't find out.

They can't find out!

But it's okay, because they won't!!

Because if there's one good thing about the loops, it's that they can backtrack whenever they mess up!

And they do that a lot, as stupid and useless as they are!!!

>>>

They enter the pottery classroom. Siffrin lingers on a few half-finished sculptures shoved haphazardly on the shelf. A figurine of a deer with antlers twice the size of its body catches his eye.

A memory flickers. "Hey, remember that time I was so hopped up on pain meds I escaped camp and tried to fistfight a deer?"

The three adults go stiff and glance over at Bonnie. They hunch over, gripping the apple they were munching on so hard it cracks and juice runs down their arm.

Siffrin tilts his head. "Bon—"

"Yeah I remember you stupid crab!" They spin around and throw the apple on the floor. "You almost got yourself killed again! Why did you do that?"

"I was—well it was the meds. They made me loopy." Haha loopy. "But it was funny, wasn't it?! I was okay!"

Odile sighs. " Siffrin , it kicked you in the face, and Mirabelle had to redo your stitching."

She nods, holding a fist to her mouth. "You bled almost as much as when you lost your eye!" She chews on her knuckle.

Oh yeah.

"You're so crabbing dumb Frin why did you keep doing stupid stuff like that!? You kept doing stupid stuff the whole time! It coulda stabbed your other eye out and then— and then—"

Their words are cut off with a sob. Tears, large and hot spill from their eyes—soon joined by a stream from their nose. Mirabelle and Isabeau slowly approach them with soft words of reassurance.

"But I was fine," he whimpers, frozen in place, heart racing.

Their words are met with another loud sob from Bonnie. Isabeau reaches for them but they slap his hand away and dash out of the room. He and Mirabelle scramble after them in a flash.

Siffrin can only stand there, hand raised.

...

Odile looks at them, pinching her brow, frowning. " Siffrin. "

"I—"

<<<

In the library a thin book called ‘Day of a Killer’ catches his eye.

"Hey Madame Odile, remember when you said you thought I was an assassin!"

She slams her book shut and glances over at Mirabelle and Isabeau, who both immediately stiffen and exchange wide-eyed glances.

"I don't believe I've ever told you that, Siffrin." Her gaze hardens.

Oops.

"I didn't tell him anything, M'dame!" Isabeau holds his hands up.

"Neither did I!" Mirabelle picks at her nails, voice wavering.

"Oh, really? Then how is Siffrin now aware of this secret? I don't believe Boniface would have told him as they weren't there at the time...unless someone told them first."

Oh stars, that was during a loop, wasn't it?

"Wha? Why are you acscusing me? I didn't do it!"

" Accusing , Boniface. And I am not implying anything, but Siffrin must have found out somehow ," she slams a hand on her book. "I hope you two remember what I said the day after, about what I would do." She smirks, leaning forward and tapping her fingernail on the cover. Tap. Tap. TAP.

Oh no no no you're going to get Isabeau and Mirabelle in trouble why did you say that?

"I didn't tell Sif! Honest!" Isabeau's almost in tears. He gleams with sweat.

"We're innocent, Madame!"

"Siffrin? You weren't spying on us, were you?" She raises an eyebrow.

Wuh oh.

"N-nobody told me I—"

Quick think of something.

Think of—

"I—"

<<<

"Yeah Bonbon! We're so gonna kick his butt!"

"Yeah!” Bonnie punches the air and almost trips on their own boots. “Kick his CRABBING BUTT!"

"I’ll punch him right in his teeth!"

"No, Za. Punch him in the NARDS!"

Siffrin chuckles and adds, not even looking back. "Chop his blinding head off!"

"Hit him in the face with my wok!"

"Spray him with chemicals and listen to him scream as his eyes melt out of his head then beat the shit out of him again and again and rip his hair out and yank out all his fucking teeth and hahaha and smash his fucking brains out and hang him by his own hahah his own blinding hahair! HAhha haahah!"

He can't stop laughing. It claws its way out of his throat, raw and burning. He wipes a tear from his eye and catches sight of his allies.

They're not laughing.

They're all looking at him.

Odile steps in front of the others.

He can't stop! It's so funny! There's static sparking in his chest.

Mira has her hands over her face.

He can't stop!

Isabeau—

<<<

"HAhhaha!!!" He blurts out immediately, then stops in his tracks.

Mirabelle collides with his back and sends him flying forward. Their allies gasp as he crashes to the floor.

"I'm sorry Siffrin!" Mirabelle calls out and is by his side in an instant, holding her hand out. Her other hand grips the collar of her dress. "Are you okay I didn't have time to st—"

"Hahha make him eat his own heart!" He wipes his face, ignoring the hand.

"Sif???"

"The King! Haha." He chokes. "We're gonna make him pay for everything. Turn him into a puddle! Hahahehe!"

Siffrin slaps his hands over his mouth but his chest still shakes with laughter.

Everyone's crowding in and Siffrin can't stop laughing and it hurts his chest his throat his eye is leaking his missing eye hurts why can't he stop he's so gross he's scaring everyone—

"Sif are you okay? I mean yeah we're going to kick his butt but—"

<<<

He trips.

"Whoa! Sif!"

"Siffrin?" Mirabelle catches him and rights him, pulling her hands away as soon as he gets his footing.

"I'm okay! Hahaha hah... Just tripped on a haha brick!"

Bonnie scans the area. "But there wasn't anything there?"

"I—"

<<<

They don't trip. They choke back a giggle and continue on, ignoring the ghostly apparition of himself that flickers in and out of existence in front of them.

It's fine! They won't remember any of those blunders!

That or anything good that happens!

Like when they finish off a Sadness with a cool flip!

And when they tell a funny pun!

And...

And...

Anyway! They're still getting to know their allies all over again. Maybe they even learned some new things!

They still haven't figured out what Madame Odile's researching or what Mirabelle's papers are for but at least they remembered she doesn't like her roommate much because she's rude and annoying or something and Isabeau wants to become a clothing designer and that's why their eye patch is so comfy and fits perfectly and Bonnie's favorite foods are rice, samosas with potatoes NO cheese, and—and—

Well they'll get the third one another time. They have all the time in the world after all!

Tee hee~!

Mmm! Malanga fritters again!

Yep! Already taste like ash!

King time!

Time to go fight! Give him chemical burns! Blind him! Rip his throat out! Haha!

They stand at the door while their allies collect themselves.

Time to go…

Time to… die again.

Fresh Squeezed Allies Juice. Ground Party. 

They just need to…

The ding dings are gone. Bonnie’s shoes are off. Nobody will make a sound.

Just have to move forward. 

If he gets through the door he’ll be fine.

Until they’re not.

Crunch. Crunch. Crrrunch ! 

But it’s fine, though! They’ve done this a million times already, just do it a million times more!

Get ground into a paste again.

Watch them go squish again!

Ding ding!

And then if he does win, they—

“Sif?”

Maybe next time!

Tear!

<<<

Siffrin wakes up in Dormont.

The grass pricks at his neck.

He laughs.

It's been twenty loops since meeting Loop and they haven't tried to fight the King once after that first catastrophic failure. 

Coward .

He approaches the Favor Tree after having his usual, scripted conversation with Isabeau. Once again, the Fighter reaches out toward his shoulder after their tree-mendous joke, but lets it fall to his side without touching them.

He watches it fall, starts to speak, but decides against it.

One day they’ll ask him about it; right now they just want to sit down--to lie down.

They reach the Favor Tree and peer up into the canopy, squinting as their eye adjusts.

Loop is there, as usual, but for some reason they're squished up against the trunk with their head pressed to the bark.

"Loop?"

The rukemi's eye cracks open and they angle their head slightly to get a better look at them. "Well hello again, stardust. I suppose you have something to do with this." They press harder with a long groan. "Or something. I know I know you somehow, but...urgh."

"Are you okay? What happened?"

"I'm not sure~!" Their speech is slightly muffled by their chest feathers covering part of their mouth. "I think—I think I stopped to look at your Fighter before coming here."

"What would that have to do with it?"

"I don't know... I think...He reminded me of—I think I tried to remember something and then poof!" They illustrate by tossing their hands from their head in an explosive gesture. "Head kaboom!"

Siffrin presses his fingers to his temple. "Remembering the loops or before?"

"The..?"

"Time loops."

"Time loops! Right! Those are certainly what's happening! Time loops and not brain in a jar being electrocuted or something. And um. Some things you were telling me, I believe. The things I was trying to remember. I don't think I could handle forgetting my past too! Well...some of it I could do without. But—Oh stars what if I've already forgotten things? Oh no how would I even know before it starts getting bad? Oh no."

Okay, they only understood half of that, but the last part digs into their chest.

"Loop?"

"What!?" They snap and their head jerks toward them, sending bits of bark flying at them. "Erm, I mean, yes, stardust?" They close their eye and shake their head for several seconds. When they still, they look at them with their eye curved up in a grin. "How can I help you on this wonderful new loop?"

"Uhm...do you want to talk abo—"

"Nope! Give me the lore dump. Or maybe not; I might rather just sit here in silence until this goes away."

>>>

He remembers.

They remember their allies.

They remember why they grew to love them so so so much.

Pineapple! Bonnie's third favorite food is pineapple! The food that kills him! Yum! They love to cook and are very good at it because they want to feel useful to everyone. Siffrin hopes one day they can understand they don’t need to be useful to be important to him.

Mirabelle's taken over a hundred and fifty classes in the house! She once helped her friend nurse an injured pigeon back to health, and sometimes still sees him flying around! She’s so brave and kind and caring to start this journey all on her own and continue on even after the Defenders refused to help. 

Isabeau admitted he was thinking of quitting the Defenders before Mirabelle asked for help. He said he started to notice a lot of shady stuff going on behind the scenes and Mirabelle's plea was the push he needed to get out. He’s also so so brave and kind and caring for accompanying Mirabelle on his own and being the emotional rock for the party that Siffrin can only dream of being.

Odile doesn’t like to talk about herself that often, but Siffrin does remember her mentioning a Ka Buan Festival she went to after Bonnie begged to go to one on their next stop. She caught three of the stall owners rigging their games and showed the party what to look out for. It wasn’t long before Bonnie used those tips to catch someone and made such a fuss that he turned tail and ran away as a crowd gathered. Odile’s so smart and observant and has gotten the party out of many sticky situations since then.

>>>

On loop twenty-six (or twenty-seven? Have they already lost count again?) Siffrin finds Loop once again with their head squished up against the trunk.

"Oh, please just put me out of my misery already, stardust," they groan, massaging behind their eye.

"Loop??? Are—" Well, they're definitely not ok, not when they're stuck with him with whatever's happening with their head. He presses his fingers to his eye patch. "Um—"

"Kidding, just kidding!" They crack their eye open and it wanders to his hip where his dagger is nestled warmly against his side. "Though I do wonder what it's like to die. I'm curious. We are in a time loop, after all. Oh, hey I remembered! Time loop!" Their voice drips with sarcasm.

Something twists inside of him. "It's...not fun. Don't recommend. You don't get used to it." That last bit is partly a lie.

"Oh, I'm sure it's not. I've already come close a few times and would not like to try again. But it's never about what I like, is it?" They run a claw lightly down the side of their throat. "If death isn't permanent here..."

They don't like where this is going.

They turn to him. "Since I'm at least partly aware of the loops, if I die, would the loop restart, or would it continue on until you die too?"

"Dunno," they shrug and shrink into their cloak. "When any of my allies… die… I still loop, sometimes."

"Oh?" They tilt their head. "So this whole—" they gesture at the sky in a circular motion, "thing is centered around your whole party? Sometimes?"

"I guess. It only happens if they die before we make it to the King, though." They grind the heel of their palm into the branch.

"Interesting," they hum and scratch at a feather on their chest. "But time continues on if the King kills them before killing you?"

"Yeah." They dig their heel into the bark.

"Do you have any idea why?"

He shakes his head.

Loop sways their tail gently. They tilt their head and chew on a claw for a moment. "I dunno! Perhaps it's because your poor, fragile little heart just can't take leaving their broken bodies behind to continue on to the tyrant alone." They lean back and press the back of their palm to their forehead, letting out an exaggerated whine. "It finds it a fate worse than death and restarts."

Siffrin grimaces.

"But!" They straighten up and lock eyes with him. "If you make it to the King and die by his hand, you're still together in those final moments. Truly a tragically romantic end fit for a storybook."

"Loop."

"Kidding, only kidding, tee hee~!" They kick their feet out. "Though who knows, there always could be a nugget of truth in there, what with this weird-ass fantasy storybook world and its strange—er—properties."

"This isn't a story, it's real life."

"I know, I know—Well, no, I don't know! Because I'm still not thoroughly convinced I'm not having a very vivid, fucked-up coma dream. And this headache isn't just from a massive concussion or aneurysm or something."

"Why would you be in a coma?"

"That's none of your business, stardust~!"

"O-okay."

"If you want an answer, I fell and hit my head getting out of bed." They knock gently on their skull a few times.

"Is that the correct answer?"

"No~!" Loop giggles. It's light and airy but with an unmistakable manic twinge in it.

"But I still do wonder, maybe I need to get a game over to get out of this hell. But I'd have to be pretty full of myself to think this world's existence centered around me, so probably not!" They close their eye and let out a long, quiet hum.

"But it won't hurt to try." They pry their eye open, then choke. "Er—actually, it will probably hurt a lot to try! How sharp is that knife of yours?"

"I'm not killing you."

"Aww... Aren't you even a little bit curious about what would happen if someone not from your party dies?"

"Wh—it doesn't matter what happens! It's bad either way!"

"Really? Because to me, the outcomes all seem pretty positive. We either loop back and have an answer that may or may not help, we don't loop and I get some reprieve from the agony of existence until you die too, I wake up from my coma or escape the matrix or whatever, or I die for realzies!"

"What? Those don't sound positive at all!"

"What? You don't want me to wake up from my coma? I suppose this world may vanish from existence if I do, but that wouldn't matter if it's not real in the first place. Or maybe it would matter if my mind is capable of constructing such an elaborate world. Truly a philosophical conundrum."

"Not that! It's the—the other—Loop, are you okay?"

"No~!"

"I—do you—" He's definitely not in the position to help, but they have to at least try.

"I know you've done it before, stardust." They're looking straight into their eye, unblinking, steady. "Kill an animal with that knife, watch their life drain away."

"Well, yeah," they begin, near silently, "but I didn't have much choice."

"I'm sure you didn't."

"It's not like I like doing it."

"I would hope not." Their tail twitches.

"..."

"Anyway~! We don't haaave to do it if it makes you that uncomfortable, but the offer's still open. Just...warn me before you go swinging that thing at my throat. Kay?"

“........”

>>>

Another few loops and Loop still hasn’t opened up about themself.

Siffrin has to try again.

"Where are you from?"

"I was created as an unethical experiment in a shady lab somewhere across the globe~!"

>>>

"Born and raised in a dump~!"

>>>

"In an underground bunker at the South Pole~!"

>>>

"Louisiana."

Sigh .

>>>

"Why can't you talk to people?"

“People? Are you saying I’m not a people ?”

“...Why can’t you talk to humans?”

“What do you mean, I’m talking to you right now, aren’t I? In your language, even!”

“...Why aren’t you allowed to talk to humans?”

"I was cursed by a wizard and now my head will explode in seven days~!"

>>>

"You might spread some gross disease~!"

>>>

"I might lose myself and eat some of your faces~!"

>>>

"I'm allergic."

Well, this isn't getting anywhere.

>>>

Siffrin takes a wrong turn on loop twenty-nine or something.

The moment they touch the star crest to the line of tears he realizes his mistake. Cursing silently to himself, he starts turning to find another tear, but...

Might as well check out what's in there. Enrichment~!

They push open the ancient door and wipe away the layer of dust their glove picks up from the handle.

It's--oh!

Oh!

Siffrin gasps quietly as he takes in the sight. Telescope, globe, maps, star charts--they're in a star room! No... there's another name. He stops to think, staring at the massive window on the far end.

"Woah!!! Where are we???" Bonnie rushes past them and starts spinning a globe as fast as they can.

Isabeau follows close by. "There's a big window over there, see?" He meanders over and stares out over the frozen hills, hands held neatly behind his back.

"What...? Was there a room like this in the House?" Mirabelle stares at the rolls of star charts.  "Y-yeah, I remember! Someone was working here... Studying... They looked like..." Her face goes blank and she stares off into the distance. "Um... Sorry, I can't remember."

Siffrin drifts over to the window and stops right next to Isabeau. He pays no mind to the small noise that squeaks out of him or how his cheeks seem to darken.

The sky is clear and millions upon millions of stars litter the darkness.

He can't remember the last time he looked at them. He can't remember the last time he talked about them. He can't remember the last time he thought about them.

But they're still there, twinkling and brilliant as always.

Bonnie scuttles up to his other side. "Those are... Stars, right? I remembered just now."

Siffrin perks up, heart rate spiking. They remember? Do they know!? "Yes!" He tries to keep his voice steady. "Yeah, they are! Were in an um..." Come on, Siffrin. "In an... observatory!" They gesture at the telescope. "All this equipment is for watching and studying and recording stars and planets!"

"This whole room is just for looking at stars?" Bonnie squints at all the equipment littered across the room. "That's stupid, they're just dots in the sky!"

...

Something breaks in him. He holds his smile steady, dead eye twitching. They can't keep quiet. Even if nobody cares.

"They're not just dots," he tries to keep his tone even. "They're big balls of fire and gas and light."

Please listen.

Bonnie spins around and smushes their face to the glass. "FIRE?!"

Siffrin nods with a hum; something wavers in his chest. "Most are bigger than our planet, they're just really far."

Please listen.

"Huh?! Really???" Their voice is somewhat muffled against the glass.

"And they don't 'appear' at night, they're here during the day too."

Please li--

"WOA--"

Odile sighs and drops her hand on top of Bonnie's hat. "Okay, that was interesting, but stop telling the kid lies."

"Aw, Frin, really?" They grab their hat and looks at Siffrin, hope and betrayal painted across their face.

He digs his fingernails into his hand. He takes a deep breath--

Mirabelle giggles. "I almost believed you, Siffrin, but that one is too much!" She peeks at some rolled up charts. "I mean, if stars are also here during the day, then why can't we see them?"

...

...

...

Of course. Of course! Why would you expect anything different?

His chest tightens.

"Haha got you!"

"Frin!" Bonnie stomps a foot and shakes a fist at them. "You lying crabhead! That sounded so cool!"

Because it is...

"Tee hee~!"

Right. Nobody else cares about the stars.

They tried before. Way before this all happened and nobody listened.

Yay~ another thing to remember...

>>>

He finds his way back to the observatory a few more times to gaze out the window until the pain of his allies' disinterest becomes too much to bear.

>>>

On loop thirty-something, Siffrin can barely make it to their branch and opts to drape themself over it instead, back facing Loop. They let their limbs dangle, and he picks at a stray twig with a single sad-looking leaf.

They're both silent for a while. He briefly glances between his legs to see Loop's own limbs dangling behind them.

Maybe Loop will listen to you about stars.

Probably not.

Don't even bother.

They stretch out, reaching toward him before letting them fall. "Honestly, stardust. I'm surprised how quickly you decided to trust me with all this."

"Huh?" They shift their hips so they can get a slightly better view.

Loop shows their teeth and slowly runs their tongue over them. "How do you know I'm not secretly a scout sent by an evil overlord who wants to take over the world and harvest humans for their eyeballs?"

"What?" He scrunches his nose.

"I'm big and scary~! And yet you just plop yourself down across from me and tell me your life story for several hours a day—er—thing... loop?"

"Well, you haven't killed me yet, so..." He lets his head go limp.

"But I could one day~!” They twist their head upside-down. “Maybe I want a little snack after this is all over, I don't know!"

"...I can catch you some fish if you're hungry." He kicks his legs. Maybe not right now. Can't move. Ugh.

"No." They grunt and fold their ears down. "Anyway, we're getting off topic. I'm just surprised you didn't try to kill me or scream bloody murder when we had our first introduction. Unless you did and I forgot like I forget everything else..."

"Do you want me to not trust you?" He raises an eyebrow, sniffling as some dust tickles his nose.

They're still helping you, even if they're suspicious from head to toe.

"Well, no," they snort. "That would be inconvenient. But you have to admit I am suspicious from head to toe~!"

Siffrin twists himself up.

"Can you read my mind?"

"Wha—?" They jerk their head back, eye wide. "Of course not. Unless you're telling me mind-reading Craft is a thing here, too."

"But you just—never mind."

Loop shrugs. "You're just pretty easy to read sometimes. Er, I think."

Siffrin blinks.

"You are weird and suspicious." They fiddle with the hem of their cloak. "But you're trying to help, at least. And you're the only one who sort of remembers the loops. So..." He pulls at a loose string. "It doesn't really matter if I trust you or not."

Loop tilts their head. "I suppose."

Try again.

"Why aren't you allowed to talk to humans?"

They sigh and droop their head. "Well, it's more complicated than that , but just look at me ." They gesture at themself and snap their jaws with an audible click. "I'd rather not cause mass panic with my existence."

"Oh, right."

That seems pretty lonely.

And honest, for once.

"What? Were you too distracted by my soft, huggable feathers and charming personality to see my teeth and claws?"

They do look very huggable.

He can't deny his occasional urge to bury his face in them.

"Are there more rukemis?"

"Yes."

"Are there any nearby?"

Loop seems to deflate at that. Their gaze seems to wander through the foliage, but before Siffrin can say anything, they perk back up.

"That's classified. Tee hee~!"

So, no.

"A-ne-way, are you going to show me your ass for the rest of the day or are we going to sit properly now?"

"..."

>>>

Siffrin trudges to the base of the Favor Tree after another badly failed loop—somewhere around forty this time. The sound of their head caving in from a rock-type sadness’ ambush still rings through their skull. They haven't died to a sadness in a long while; even the particularly strong ones at the end of each floor seem to be getting easier every Loop.

He was just careless.

They look up at Loop as they peer through the thick leaves at him. "Can I just skip the loop lore dump this time and get to whatever other lore dumps my brain lets me remember?" 

"Ehm...sure?" They twist their neck ninety degrees.

He keeps staring, neck and eye straining from the angle and contrast.

He's...tired of climbing the same blinding tree each loop.

"Are you going to come up here or just stand there until your neck cramps and your head falls off?"

"Do we have to do this every time? It's not like anyone ever comes here after Isa leaves."

"...Does he come here every day or someth—wait...wait...don't tell me. Loop... Time loop, right?"

"Yep," they grunt. "You're a rukemi, your favorite season is late winter, you like cats...uh..."

Is that everything they've said? Besides the lie about emerging from under a rock and the coma and… everything else.

"Ah...well, that’s not the most compelling evidence to present, but sure. We’re in a time loop! Why not?"

Siffrin slumps down on a gnarled root almost perfectly shaped for a human to sit on.

"Hm..." they contemplate for a long while. "I suppose it won't matter if someone else does see me, then, assuming this really is a time loop and I didn't just eat the wrong mushrooms." They rub their throat. "I've already done a big nono talking to you, anyway, so might as well."

Slowly, Loop stretches out and flaps their wings once, then, with little fanfare, steps off the branch. They flutter down, using their wings to slow their descent; their body dips as their feet touch down in the leaf litter without a sound. A few dry leaves swirl up into the air and come to rest a few feet away.

They look out into the sunlight, squinting, scanning; the long fluffy feathers between their ears rise up and seem to vibrate in a nonexistent breeze. They tilt their head a few times until they seem satisfied and find their place on another root across from Siffrin. It's too small for them to sit on entirely; it seems perfect for a human but not someone as massive as Loop. They drape themself over it, front legs sticking way out and crossed over each other.

"So!" they begin, stretching out and repositioning themself several times. "Lore time?"

"I'm tired, Loop."

They blink and sigh. "You and me both, stardust."

They're both silent for a while.

Siffrin kicks their feet out rhythmically while Loop seems to lock onto their movement and, after a moment, mimics it.

"Have you, er...asked your friends for help, yet?"

"No."

Loop stares. "You..." They grimace and cover their eye with a hand. "I ask you this every time, and you always say no, don't you?"

"Yep."

"Why are you so allergic to asking for help?" Loop groans. "Except from me, I guess."

"Well, you're stuck here too...and I was kind of desperate when we first met."

"Oh, stars. So, how desperate will you have to get to ask your party for help? Do I have to grab you by the scruff and dangle you in front of them and force you to tell them?"

Siffrin grunts. "Do not. "

They flick an ear. "You know they care about you. I can't remember fuck all, but I remember that."

"I guess." They rub their arms until they hurt. "But..."

The leaves rustle as Loop's tail twitches.

"But what? But what if one of them has the answer? But what if you do manage to break free and they find out you went through all of this alone? That you didn't trust them enough to lean on them? That you—" They hiss as another wave of pain courses through their head. They shrink in on themself, digging their palms into their eyes.

Siffrin's heart skips a beat. "I d-do trust them!" he gasps. A chill runs through them, and a tingling tightness gnaws at their chest. "I—"

"Do you think they maybe perhaps would feel like they failed you? Do you really want them to hold that regret in their hearts for the rest of their lives?" They narrow their gaze and speak slowly, voice lowered. "Do you want them to die knowing you tried to be the hero all alone ?"

"I—"

They… they… it’s fine! They won’t… I can’t… let them...

"..." 

<<<

"Have you, er...asked your fri—wh—what the fuck was that?" Loop's feathers puff out immediately, and a violent shudder runs down their body. 

"Nothing!" Siffrin smiles and straightens himself out. "Just something that happens sometimes."

They dig their claws into the bark, cracking bits off and scattering them everywhere. "Wait, was that a loop? Was that... Did you die???" They shake their head and blink several times. "No, you... we... What were we talking about..? Your...your party." They go silent for a moment, squinting at nothing in particular.

Stars.

They gasp and then sigh. "Oh! You... Fine. Don't ask them for help then. Keep us both trapped in here forever. I don't care. Maybe there is a hell and I'm stuck here with an idiot that keeps making the same mista—" They choke and snap their jaws shut.

"Loop."

"Anyway~! Enough about that! Maybe you're right! Maybe they can't help and I'm just too clueless about this world to understand! Lore dump time?"

"..." The twisting won't go away. He digs his nails into his arms. Deeper, deeper, maybe this time he'll finally bleed from it.

Loop rests their head on their hands and lets out a huff. "Orrr maybe we can just sit here until you think about whatever I said?"

He chokes. "I'm stuck in a time loop trying to kill the King who's been freezing everyone in time and I'm stuck and you said you'd help me and you're a rukemi and you told me to splash him with chemicals and it sort of worked but he still..."

As Siffrin rambles off whatever words fill his mind as fast as possible, Loop can only sigh.

They don't have to know.

I'm just a footnote in their lives.

They'll forget about me when they leave.

When they leave.

>>>

The next loop, Siffrin opts to skip their meeting entirely and goes to the Clocktower early. They stay awake all night staring at the stars through the dirty window. They feel empty.

>>>

On another loop where Siffrin doesn't quite feel up to shredding his vocal cords, he decides to wander the town. There are certainly a lot of conversation starters around. Maybe they can try talking to the other residents again. They probably forgot everything about them, so it could be a nice refresher...

A nice refresher of people he doesn't really care about.

Nah.

He approaches Mirabelle and her mysterious papers, smile plastered back on his face.

"Hey Mira, I'm done with all my preparations. Are there any good books in the library you recommend?"

"Huh? Oh! Well, maybe!" She glances at her papers, puffs up her cheeks, then shoves them unceremoniously back into her dress. "Yeah I could use a break from this. Let me help you pick something out!" She pats her legs and heads in the door with almost too much haste.

When he enters, she's already talking to the bored librarian.

“Siffrin!” she calls them over. “The librarian knows all of the books here. I know there isn’t much, but I'm sure we can find you something!"

The librarian nods. "Happy to help. What sort of books do you like?"

"Oh, well." They didn't think this far ahead. "I like...tragedies." Definitely don't like being in one though.

"We have a few over here." They walk over to the center shelf and point to some books near the top right of it. Both Mirabelle and Siffrin have to stand on their tiptoes to even see the titles.

"Oh! I've read a few of these!” Mirabelle chirps. “I'm not as into this genre as much, but there's some good ones still!" She struggles to pull out a medium-sized book and presents it to him. "'Ramsey and Julian' is probably my favorite of them." She starts describing the book in detail while Siffrin smiles and nods along. It doesn't sound interesting at all, but they're spending time together, and that's what matters! They learned a new important fact about her! She's not as big on tragedy as monster horror or romance! They'll remember it!

Siffrin takes the book and drops it on the nearest table.

They plop themself down and flip through the pages.

No pictures. Boo.

Do they even want to read it? They make it a few sentences in before their eye starts to wander. It flits across several empty spaces on the shelves then lands on the librarian as they fiddle with the frayed cover of an older book.

...

Have they...

Have they ever asked them if they know about Crafted shields?

...

He glances back at the empty spaces.

…

What if they did have something and it was just checked out?

What if it was somewhere else in town this entire time???

Did they really never think to check before?

Did they?

While Mirabelle is still distracted by looking for something she hasn't read yet, they drift over to the librarian. Giving one more glance behind them, they ask in a low voice.

"Do you, uh, know of any books that have Crafts that can help you survive very powerful attacks?"

"Oh, hmm," they look up, tapping their fingers rhythmically against the cover of their book. "Definitely not here, that'd be some pretty advanced Craft. I doubt even the House's library would have anything."

He sighs.

"But maybe..."

They perk up.

"...Maybe it would be in the secret library?"

The what.

"The WHAT? "

"The uh. Secret library. The secret library whose entrance is hidden in the library? That library. One of the walls looks normal, but if you check it carefully, it'll reveal the secret library's entrance."

"...WHAT? Why would they—? That's so stupid!"

They catch Mirabelle looking over in the corner of their eye. They smile and give her a wave, which she returns with her own genuine grin. She buries herself back in a book.

"Oh! Well, it’s usually just personal information on the residents, outdated books, and sometimes books on Crafts that may be too dangerous for someone inexperienced to attempt. Technically only the librarians know about it. But you ARE trying to save Vaugarde, so... Don't snitch on me? And don't lose tomorrow?"

...

...

...

"Yeah, I'll try."

"Heh. Cool."

...

.....

.......

............

.......................

THERE WAS A SECRET LIBRARY THIS ENTIRE TIME???

Well, no, no, there might not have been! It could have been one of those weird changes!

But DID YOU EVER ASK ABOUT IT BEFORE?

Though WHY WOULD YOU?

SECRET LIBRARY???

Okay. Okay. Just be normal. It's fine.

Don't get excited.

Might just be more boring administrative papers and two-hundred-year-old biology textbooks on the reproduction habits of newts!

Don't get excited!

Don't forget you're here forever!

Tee hee~!

Just...don't even think about it.

It's not like killing the King will end the loops anyway.

Let's go squeeze a few more memories out of them...

"Hello? Are you okay?" The librarian waves a hand in front of his face.

"Fine! Fine! Just great!" They smile as wide as possible and stiffly head outside. Mirabelle calls after them, but they wave her off with a flimsy excuse about needing to use the bathroom.

They need a distraction.

A secret library???

He finds himself wandering back to the Favor Tree, almost forgetting to talk to Isabeau on the way.

Loop is there as usual, head and limbs dangling limply from the branch as they watch a beetle crawl up their leg. They perk up when they see him.

"So, have you made any progress?" They say as he plops down in his usual spot. "On the uh...regicide?"

"Yeah, we—no. Not really." Don't get anyone's hopes up.

They massage the sides of their head. "Unfortunate. My head is killing me today. And I suppose yesterda—loop? Whatever."

A pang of guilt curls up behind his lungs like a spiny worm.

He hasn't tried to fight the King again this entire time.

Like a coward.

Coward!

Prolonging Loop's suffering.

Keeping your fri—allies trapped here with you forever because you want to fill your sieve brain!

You're going to run out soon! This... blessing will only last for so long~!

But haha! It's not like you're getting out anyway! So Loop is screwed either way.

"Stardust?"

"Huh?" They jolt.

"Is this a...normal thing for you?"

"Huh?"

"The zoning out."

He shakes his head clear. "Oh...definitely. Yeah."

They study him, squinting. "Hm, well, given the situation, I can't really blame you."

"Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,"

"A-ne-way...it's probably time you tell me your life story...again. Give me a reprieve from this damn headache." They wince. "Or not, if you can’t do it quietly."

Siffrin wraps up a little earlier than before, which was a little earlier than the time before that. He has the loop 'lore dump' down to a science; sand down the bloated repetition just to their bare bones summary to get Loop back up to speed so they can hurry up and dig up some more memories of their allies.

He feels like it's only taking half as long to run out of fresh memories as when he and Loop first met. It's not a good sign at all, but it's still better than nothing!

Though the memories are getting older and older—many from years before meeting their party and therefore less important and interesting—there's still the massive wall in their mind that blocks off everything before they were around Bonnie's age.

Their home. Their family. Their life before they washed up on a beach half-dead and became a nobody traveler.

Oh well. It's not like those were coming back either way. As long as they still have their allies, they're happy! They're so happy!

Loop mulls over Siffrin's words for a while, running their finger across the uneven bumps on their hand.

"Welp. I got nothing. As usual.  Do hurry up with this loop. It's soooo booooring here." They stretch out and roll slightly sideways, and yelp as gravity yanks at them. Their back legs slip off and they wrap their claws tightly around the branch, flapping their wings wildly as they haul themself back up. It creaks in protest but doesn't break.

"Be careful Loop!"

"It's fine, it's fine. It's not like anything will happen if I fall and snap my neck anyway. Though with my luck I'd probably just end up paralyzed and pinned beneath the branch, unable to be saved by your tiny little stick arms."

"Hey."

"I'd just have to endure the monotony of being chewed apart by insects and shat upon by tiny birds." They shrug. "It's probably not much different than what I'll end up doing either way."

Wait.

"What?"

“ What ?”

Have you ever asked Loop what they do when you're not there?

Did you really just...not think about it?

Do they just sit in the tree the entire time because they can't talk to other humans?

You're a bad friend, Siffrin! You don't even deserve that title from Loop.

"What do you even do when I'm in the House?"

They hum and tilt their head side to side. "Not sure. Probably just nap, stare at birds, doodle in the dirt, stargaze ."

His heart skips.