#dr shepherd

You kept your eyes on the chart in front of you, scribbling notes with deliberate focus. The chatter around you faded into white noise—nurses exchanging shifts, monitors beeping in the distance. But you could feel his presence like a storm cloud rolling in, heavy and unavoidable.

“Y/n,” Derek's voice cut through, low and insistent. He leaned against the counter, close enough that you caught the faint scent of antiseptic and his cologne—a mix that used to make your knees weak.

You didn't look up. “Dr. Shepherd. If you need something from the station, ask one of the nurses.” Your tone was clipped, professional armor firmly in place.

He didn't move. “We need to talk.”

“There’s nothing to say.” You snapped the chart shut and turned to walk away, your white coat swishing with the motion. The hallway stretched out, lined with exam rooms and the faint echo of footsteps.

But he followed. Persistent as ever, his longer strides closing the gap. “Y/n, please. Just hear me out.”

You quickened your pace, heart pounding. The last thing you needed was to break down in the middle of the corridor. Memories flooded back unbidden—the late nights tangled in sheets, whispered promises, the way he'd look at you like you were his entire world. Until Addison returned, and everything crumbled.

“I love you, Y/n,” he blurted, desperation cracking his voice. You froze mid-step, the words hanging in the air like a lifeline thrown into turbulent waters.

He kept going, words tumbling out in a rush. “I’ve been an idiot. From the second I chose her, I regretted it. Trying to rebuild with Addison... it’s impossible. She cheated on me, Y/n. Broke every vow we had. And all I could think about was you—how I let you go, how I pushed you away when you were the one who made me feel alive. I love you. God, I love you so much it hurts.”

Tears pricked at your eyes, but you blinked them back. With a glance around—no one nearby—you grabbed his wrist and tugged him toward the nearest storage room. The door clicked shut behind you, the dim light from a single bulb illuminating shelves of supplies: bandages, syringes, the quiet hum of the hospital muffled outside.

Derek's blue eyes met yours, raw and yearning, shimmering with unshed tears. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, voice breaking. “For everything."

“For what?” You crossed your arms, though your resolve was already fraying at the edges.

“For not giving us a chance,” he said, stepping closer. “For leaving you. For thinking being with Addison was the right choice. You never deserved any of it—the pain, the heartbreak. I was scared, trying to honor vows that were already dead. But losing you... that’s what’s killing me."

He looked so vulnerable, the confident neurosurgeon reduced to a man on the brink of tears. Your chest ached with the weight of it all—the betrayal, the longing, the what-ifs. Without thinking, you closed the distance, your hands cupping his face as you pulled him into a soft kiss.

His lips were warm, tentative at first, then deepening with a hunger that mirrored your own. His arms wrapped around your waist, drawing you flush against him, the kiss turning urgent. Hands roamed—yours tangling in his hair, his sliding up your back—tension building like a spark igniting dry tinder. Breaths mingled, hearts racing in the confined space.

But reality crashed in. You pulled back, breathless, your forehead resting against his. “Dr. Shepherd,” you murmured, voice steady despite the fire in your veins, “I don’t sleep with married men. So fix your status. I’ll be waiting.”

He didn’t tell Meredith he was married, he strung Addison along, he’s whiny and egotistical, but the worst thing is how he treats Meredith at the end of season 3. She nearly drowns during the ferry boat accident and then we learn she ‘gave up fighting.’ Like, it sounds like she’s dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts (which totally makes sense given the trauma she’s experienced in the past three seasons!!) and Derek’s all “You didn’t swim. And I don’t know if i wanna keep trying to breathe for you (S3:E21).” 

EFF THAT.

Gah, it makes me so mad that he’s basically blaming her for her depression. She didn’t freaking ask him to save her. She’s literally trying her hardest to connect with thatcher’s new wife and their family, communicate more with derek, and just generally feel better, and he’s such as ass. Pisses me off! It’s like classic stigma against people experiencing mental illness. Also, it’s not meredith’s fault that she stopped swimming while she was literally freezing and drowning jesus h christ.