#dr lapse

^ 12 seconds of dead air at the start so it would actually let me use this song, sorry!

ROLE: ANTI-HERO

(some points in his section will just be repeated from my psychoanalysis video, but not really explained in detail.)

my impression of cyrus is that he is selfish, yet in a way thats painfully human and at least partly understandable to all of us. besides that, cognitive dissonance and internal conflict is a core part of his character.

i think its best to tackle it in chronological order?… based off the way cyrus generally is, it is very unlikely he had a good home life; if he did, id be a fish. in any case, the preservation project found and hired him eventually. the reason behind cyrus' acceptance to be hired is something that should be questioned, because he knows how the work goes, and he doesnt approve of it; in fact, it makes him feel utterly disgusted with himself to be in that position, but he took it anyway. considering this stance, he mustve been seriously enticed by Something, and when it comes to being an informant, it was probably the pay (or they just threatened him into it, but i highly doubt theyd resort to it that early on). in the modern american capitalist society, money is the most valuable thing a person can have. perhaps cyrus was in a very desperate financial situation, and this opportunity wouldve saved his life in that regard. (or, maybe it was an art situation where they also provided cyrus with a personal living space, but thats a bit of stretch.) aware that he WILL come to hurt others, cyrus still ignores his morals for the sake of acquiring his needs. at its core, its most simply just self-preservation, whether right or not. (or, he saw the job offer as an opportunity to dismantle the industry from within. this is my friends idea though, i dont take credit for it, so i wont mention it otherwise. ask humbugg to tell you more. hes awesome)

while working for the project, it basically entirely consumes him. everything else that happens in cyrus' life from this point forward, is because of the project. at this point, we'll start discussing his mental state a bit more.

the most important event to note is the assassination of the 6 missing students before the killing game (which, with the current writing choices, is unfortunately a little muddy in regards to who did it). either A) cyrus did not kill them, but he was forced to watch as someone else did. my only commentary on this is that it may have been done in an effort to desensitize cyrus to murder, and beat it into his head that human lives are worth less than they actually are. or B) cyrus killed them directly, most likely because the projects staff made him do it (and probably with serious threats to cyrus' own life because im not sure anything else would convince him to do such a drastic act). this is what the old version of the game implied and what i still believe today, so we'll go with this one.

murder is something that, regardless on how experienced you are- if youre already a long time serial killer or otherwise, it WILL cause lasting effects, especially psychological ones. your body knows that you just put an end to another persons life, and it will GRAVELY fuck you up, whether you redeem yourself or keep going after.

at this point, cyrus is still young and figuring everything out- all of them are. this makes him easier to manipulate and easier to damage, which the project knows and uses to their advantage. cyrus hates what hes done, he hates the scuffles hes gotten into, he hates the fact he works for the project, and he hates the fact his body and mind were used to have power over 6 other peoples'. he never wanted this, and he couldnt back out now, because the project is constantly holding him at (metaphorical but also maybe literal) gunpoint to stay with them. so because he cant escape, and because hes being forced to wholly murder people at this point, he tries to rationalize it away.

cyrus cannot handle the gravity of his own actions. in a fucked up sorta way, he believes hes "spared" the 6 students. he knew they were gonna die either way- either in the killing game, or by cyrus' own hand, and with the latter, it was just the "easier" way out for them all. cyrus wants to make himself believe he is NOT this, he is NOT what the project wants him to be; surely theres a morally just explanation for all these horrible things ive done! surely i can still be a good person if i try! the guilt still weighs extremely heavy on him- hes just in denial. in fact, a lot of his duelling characteristics are due to denial and repression of his feelings. its not like a depressed ~19 year old will handle all of this "properly".

in any case, the killing game starts. throughout the prologue-ch1, cyrus has a generally kind yet stilted demeanor; hes inoffensive, but you can probably tell hes trying too hard at times. youd just assume hes hiding something, or simply lonely. resuming theory A) from before, we can see some of that "cyrus was forced into thinking human lives are worth less than they really are" with pandora. unlike echo or ashley or somebody, cyrus isnt utterly devastated to see her corpse. rather, he grits his teeth in some sort of anger, and then quickly surpresses the same anger to focus on investigating. otherwise i honestly dont have much else to say about this particular persona of his. ch2 is where it gets kooky, since at the very end of ch1, zero rats cyrus out as the informant. (side note: cyrus and zero have a very interesting dynamic too i think, but thats for another day.) cyrus expected immunity however. he truly believed he meant SOMETHING to the preservation project staff, seeing as they specifically chose him, implying hes valuable. and i think this is when he discovers he is well and truly, no longer safe. the project and its staff have never cared about cyrus or his life; to them, he is easily disposable. they couldve picked anybody else, and nothing would change. he finally gets it now. and at this point, its clearly not going to get better, so he decides to just give up. it was never going to go in his favor. and to be fair, maybe thats been in the back of his mind the Entire time, and the charisma persona was just him being in denial. if i had to guess, as a clinically depressed person myself, its likely cyrus had depression even when he was still a kid, way before any of this. (with the potentially awful childhood, it only makes sense.) and based on how the preservation project is, just in general, it very likely only exacerbated it further, despite cyrus' continuous desperate attempts to find hope and connection. zero exposing cyrus' true title was probably just the last straw that broke the camels back, pushing him to commit (assisted) suicide.

and so it gets even kookier… the reason cyrus tricked ashley into killing himself is because he couldnt kill himself, he couldnt summon the courage to do so. if he did it by himself, the act would be over in about a second, but the prelude would be unbearable. and perhaps, cyrus applied the same "logic" to ashley as he did with the 6 missing students. she was going to die too, he knew this very well. it would be incredibly selfish to bring another person down with him, and suicide alone is already considered selfish by some. so the only reason i can think of, as to why he still went through with his plan, is because he thought he'd be "sparing" ashley too (or again, hes just been conditioned to think human lives arent worth that much). better for her to die sooner than later, maybe. and although its also ashleys fault that she actually fired the gun, cyrus still apologizes to her. not with "im sorry, ashley", but with "im sorry", in general. hes just sorry, for all of this. maybe sorry for himself, but certainly more sorry for everyone thats had to suffer or even die because He Was There.

if cyrus were to tell Any of the other participants Anything about the killing game that could help them escape, he would surely get his head blown off. so he decides to say it when hes already dying, and the job has been done. its weirdly poetic that cyrus couldnt get any of his true sentiments out, until his literal dying breaths. its pitiful to witness, and thats why ashley tries to stop his bleeding, but again, cyrus knew it just had to happen this way. he tried for his entire life to preserve himself, to keep trying for what would make him happy, it might even be considered hedonistic; but he realizes it simply wasnt meant to be, so he throws it all away in the span of just a few hours. perhaps he even "spared" himself by doing so.

ROLE: STRICTLY SUPPORTING

its harder to analyze forte, and thats probably by his own design. so, a lot of this will be guesswork on my part. in any case, forte is hardly ever vulnerable, and has not really mentioned his past. all we can infer about him pre-killing game is that he had a pet dog who recently died, and is still grieving heavily.

i find it fascinating how forte is one to preach "talk about your feelings", but virtually never follows his own advice. we can argue he talks to echo and art about his dead dog, and yes, he does so at length and with an ultimately happy resolution- but i, at least, still found it something to be questioned. this is the only time hes THIS open about his feelings, and even still, he uses a lot of big theatrical words to paint a scenic picture.

of course, he remembers his dog fondly, but considering the fact hes been with forte for 13 years and clearly meant the world to him, it comes across as rather forced. i believe this might be fortes first time with grief this heavy, and what hes feeling is simply too abstract to convey; but he still tries to understand himself, through the lens of these artistic flourishes, because art is all he knows, though it might come with the risk of not getting full closure with his feelings. opera is clearly a core part of fortes character; its easy to say, because hes clearly passionate about it, even using it as a metric for his mood (cant bring himself to sing = depressed/grieving), but i believe it runs even deeper.

its revealed in ch4 that forte is specifically a bass-baritone, meaning a low baritone or high bass. for the sake of this analysis, the former works better (though there are a few words to be said about the latter too). this is important to note because, typically, baritones in opera are the sidekicks of the tenor protagonist. baritones tend to just have supporting roles, that are there mostly just as a counterpart to the tenor, or with an even less important role, just a character with few lines to fill in the plot.

it fits fortes character a lot. when you really think about it, a lot/most of fortes character moments revolve around the others, and not much on himself. in the prologue, hes hastily asked by kanon to care for echo while theyre unconscious, and he cant find it in himself to refuse despite probably not having any first aid knowledge. in ch1, he shines out a little bit more but still, also feels the need to supervise sei when she faints. in ch2, he gives a motivational speech to the others (once again trying to artistically and verbally explain away abstract emotions), another pep talk to kanon, and once again supervises ashley when SHE is unconscious. all of this while grieving a dearly loved pet. he always jumps at the opportunity to uplift the people around him, despite his own turmoil, which he either fiercely hides or communicates inefficiently. maybe he even finds it a need to fulfill.

he is secondary, he is supporting. what HE is feeling doesnt matter; what matters more is what the OTHERS are feeling, and how he can circulate AROUND that.

if i were to guess, maybe this means forte has been made a parentifie younger sibling, or just overall suffered emotional neglect from his parents/guardians. in any case, hes clearly trying to compensate for Something. and this might be WHY art/opera is so important to him- it found him at a dark time, and gave him the ability to funnel his sentiments into a performance, to the point that the only way he knows how to express himself now IS through art of any kind. (there is also something to be said about fortes dog helping him mentally and emotionally too, seeing as he would be physically incapable of judging and neglecting forte.)

anyway, ch3 is clearly where forte shines best, and actually primarily for himself this time. (theres a difference in how he acts towards lyle specifically- he went from childishly arguing with him over a painting to physically seizing items out of his hands with force, and speaking much more assertively to him. otherwise, the rest of the cool stuff happens in the courtroom just before forte dies, so lets talk about that…) contrary to hiding away from the gunshots in ch2, forte is now feeling brave enough to face danger head-on. once sei assaults missy with the dagger and proves herself to be a threat, forte is convinced to step in and "take matters into his own hands", despite, at least by gaeas words, apparently knowing full well his own life would be on the line in the process. this does not deter him however- if sei had assaulted forte instead of missy, he mightve not been nearly as aggressive. but once again; forte sees it as his goal to keep everyone ELSE alive and well, so as long as hes able to defend THEM, it doesnt matter what happens to him in the end.

"a stage where every man must play a part, and mine a sad one" as fortes final words is what makes you realize, this was just his destiny. hes been the baritone/supporting role to his own life for as long as he can remember, and he definitely knows it. theres never been any upside to it- its sad because of how it ends tragically for him, sure, but its also sad because, even along the way, hes mostly just existed for other people, and hardly for himself. he knows this.

in opera, basses tend to be intimidating/authority figures, such as fathers, kings and villains. how i see it, forte thought to assert himself a bit more in ch3 (honestly unsure what couldve triggered it, maybe some introspecting off-screen), analogous to a usually-baritone man wanting to slip into the role of a bass. however, he found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time (with sei and zero around), and got quite literally pulverized for trying to deviate from the path laid out for him; "taking matters into his own hands" was clearly never going to happen, certainly not without consequence.

perhaps fortes mention of the butterfly effect applies to him too. if he didnt choose opera, if he went down a different path, would everything have gone differently? would he be able to break away from his destiny to be secondary? much to think about..

now i warn you in advance that most of this section is shit from my ass because cyrus and forte have only directly interacted in canon twice, with 2 more mentions of cyrus from forte. of course i counted, who do you think i am?

my idea of a relationship dynamic between cyrus and forte is that they both parallel and foil each other. they sometimes do the same things, but executed in their own ways/for their own reasons. other times, they just oppose each other entirely. i think its very interesting, and it couldve been explored more!

when you really think about it, both cyrus and forte were meant to be a very specific person- although, in cyrus' case, that would be imposed by the preservation project, while in fortes case, i guess just some sort of cosmic law? either way, it causes them both to have a very complicated relationship with their own feelings, and to have an aversion towards being vulnerable (until they find it absolutely necessary to do so). theyre both very distanced from themselves- cyrus because he hates to associate with himself after all hes done, and forte because thats just how he was raised to be.

their deaths were both rather suicidal in nature- although, cyrus' was one of cowardice. too afraid to stand for what was right for himself and others, and ultimately, too afraid to even kill himself. contrary to this, fortes death can be argued to be a display of acknowledged risk/bravery, deliberately sacrificing himself in the face of protecting and saving his peers.

their motivations overall are at odds with each other. cyrus mainly does things out of selfishness and self-preservation, often abandoning what is moral in the process, since the end justifies the means in his eyes. meanwhile, fortes actions are very selfless. he always keeps the others in mind, even when its to his own detriment, and will even give up his life to keep the rest of them alive and well.

and yet, neither of them can deny the idea of Something working out between them. forte cant deny it with cyrus, at least. he is at first wary of cyrus and likely perceives him as a threat, but once cyrus is gone, forte seems to want to understand his situation better, like he tried to do with art. he reckons cyrus was probably just "a pawn in the overall scheme", and even comes to apologize to his spirit when he must break into cyrus' room to find clues.

in any case, when has cyrus ever been even a little understood before? forte may as well be the only one thats thought about it.. and despite a stubborn mutual distaste between them, they seem willing to talk out more serious matters (like when cyrus got defensive over being labelled an accomplice in the 1st trial, but still went to explain why it wasnt possible, with forte reluctantly accepting his words. this also shows cyrus can still have patience for him).

its this stubbornness/cagey-ness yet mental fragility they both have that would really bring the two together, i think. BECAUSE theyre so fragile within, that same stubbornness can be shattered, and maybe theyd start telling each other a thing or two. if they come to hate the other, its because they just see themselves in him. "i hate you because i hate myself" kinda deal. or, if not "hate", at the very least "have really complicated feelings about". or, who knows, maybe they come to love each other deeply and profoundly because theyre delighted to see they arent alone after all. they just cant decide if they wanna cooperate with the other or not.. so it could go either way! at the end of the day, forte knows cyrus' morals should be questioned, rather than immediately disregarded as unjust. like a brutus and antony situation.