#doubtfulness

Doubt is the first ray of illumination

What I could say about your tendency to doubt or about your inability to bring outer and inner life into unison, or about all the other things that worry you - it is always what I have already said : wish that you may find patience enough in yourself to endure, and simplicity enough to believe that you mayacquire more confidence in that which is difficut, and in your solitude among others. And for the rest, let life happen to you. Believe me : life is right, in any case. Your doubt may become a good quality if you train it. It must become knowing, it must become critical.  Whenever it wants to spoil something for you, why something is ugly - demand proofs from it, test it, you'll find it embarrassed perhaps. Don't give in, insist on arguments with it, be watchful and consistent every single time - from a destroyer, it will become your best friend.