When I think of ’80s super-macho action stars, one name comes to mind: Arnold Schwarzenegger. Next up is Sylvester Stallone. Not as many iconic movies, but a better actor overall. Then there’s Wesley Snipes, who has his share of gooders and can manage both dramatic and comedic roles. In fourth place, we have Steven Seagal and FINALLY, the star of this beast of a bad movie: Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn’t grow up with any of the man's films and after seeing Double Impact I don’t understand what anyone could have seen in him. It’s a contrived action movie that only surprises you by topping its bad performances with even worse ones.
This premise is so nutty you’ve got to hear it to believe it. In Hong Kong, a mother and father are brutally murdered by crime lord Raymond Zhang (Philip Chan). Their bodyguard, Frank Avery (Geoffrey Lewis), manages to save one of their twins. Raising him in France, then the United States. 25 years later, Frank finds the second son and informs Chad (Jean-Claude Van Damme) that he has a brother. Raised by French Catholic Nuns in an orphanage (meaning he has a French accent, just like his brother) Alex (also Jean-Claude Van Damme) has grown up on the rough side of the road. Together, Fank, Chad, Alex, and Alex’s girlfriend Danielle (Alonna Shaw) are going to get revenge for the twins’ parents!
Let me break that plot down for you one more time. Jean-Claude Van Damme has a thick French accent and knows martial arts. He plays long-lost twins with thick French accents despite growing up in China and the U.S. Coincidentally, they both know karate. With their parent’s bodyguard and a white woman the Chinese brother just happens to be dating and who also happens to work for one of the chief suspects in their parents’ murder, they’re going to single-handedly get their revenge.
I don’t necessarily expect great performances from action films, but I do expect the players to be somewhat convincing. At the very least, show some charisma. Aside from some talent punching and kicking, Jean-Claude Van Damme displays zero talent here. He’s constantly flat, he’s boring, even annoying at times. You can feel his fingers all over this project (he’s credited for part of the story). It gets to be downright embarrassing as you watch this nepotism immortalized on-screen forever. It’s not enough that he plays the hero with the hot girlfriend, but we also have to see an extended, “artfully shot” sex fantasy with Alonna Shaw too? Come on. I wish I could say the bad performances were limited to the "Muscles from Brussels", but no. EVERYONE is terrible.
Nothing in this story manages to generate any excitement. Anyone who has seen any action movie before has seen this story. There are random comedic bits about identical twins being mistaken for each other in the middle of a tale of revenge. The police are never involved and you can just blow stuff up without any consequences. It even botches something as simple as a chase when our heroes go on the run and hop inside a boat instead of a car! Not a speed boat either. Have you ever heard of a chase done at walking speed? It's as thrilling as it sounds.
There are a few points that will jog you awake, usually because they’re so out of place you won’t know what to make of them. I’d site a killer martial arts-wielding lesbian bodyguard (Corrina Everson) and juvenile misunderstandings that result in ridiculous amounts of destruction as some of the “highlights”. I wanted to have fun with this movie, but just couldn’t. You’d think a movie with cartoon bad guys (complete with a missing eye and facial scar) and a half dozen different techniques for automatically killing a man would at least be good for some dumb laughs.
This is a movie whose sole selling point is the double dose of Van Damme. Unless that puts you in an instant state of euphoria, Double Impact will have you begging for twin shotgun barrels in your mouth. (On VHS, January 12, 2016)
