(1/2) is it okay to not like maiko but stan mai? i like both characters but everytime they were together i just personally found them really dislikable people, save for the "you miscalculated" scene. plus i wanted mai to have an arc outside zuko where she overcomes her apathy (aka emotional suppression developed in response to her traumatic upbringing). maybe she doesn't want tom tom to have to grow up in the world the fn is creating, forced to stifle his feelings and opinions like her.
(2/2) maybe she develops a hobby/passion that under the fn is disallowed. "i don't care about anything...except this guy" just doesn't do it for me, esp since she always had that exception for zuko since she was a kid so she didn't change much. i like kataang btw so it isn't some "get zuko free for katara" bs. anti maikos never wanna discuss these specific things and shit on mai (and aang) bc it's just about zutara.
of course it is! i would argue that through the course of the show mai does overcome her more outwardly apathetic nature in a lot of ways - but that’s mostly through her relationship with zuko. i also think mai makes it clear that, in some ways, she does care about some things other than zuko. she does care about herself and gets indignant towards him on her own behalf & despite being in abusive relationships with azula and her parents, mai knows how she does want to be treated and will stand up for herself in relationships where it feels safe to do so, which is impressive. she also defends ty lee on a number of occasions and it’s clear that they have a strong relationship. we learn a fair bit about her family: a governor father, her mother’s view on their political situation, a baby brother, and a revered uncle. she also does have some loyalty to her country, as she says to zuko, “save it? you’re betraying your country” when she reads his letter and learns he’s going to join the avatar.
mai’s arc with zuko isn’t “i care about this guy more than anything”. because you’re right, mai in many ways already knew how much she cared about zuko. what her arc actually leads to is mai being able to express that and fully stand up to her primary abuser (azula) because of the love she feels for him, the conviction and trust she has that he’s not doing the wrong thing, and she finds a healthy support system (at first ty lee, and then the gaang in the epilogue) on the other side.
i also think it can be important to remove a sense of self sometimes, too. like, would i want a relationship like mai and zuko’s? no. does that mean they’re dislikable? no. some of their best moments are with each other. zuko awkwardly trying to woo her a bit, them enjoying each other’s company and being physically affectionate with cuddling, clearly one of them cares enough about art to get a portrait done, mai’s dry humour and also how she holds zuko accountable, zuko’s confidence in her own abilities: “trust me, she doesn’t [need protection].”
Like I’ve said before, I recommend my meta here to anyone who loves Maiko or, really, to anyone who loves Mai. It may be able to change your mind. Maybe not.
All that being said, while I don’t follow the comics, Mai is given an arc outside Zuko regarding wanting Tom-Tom to be raised differently, her family’s political stances, another love interest, and much more. But for the timeline ATLA was following of like, nine months or less in all of the characters’ lives, I think Mai’s arc within the timespan of the show itself was beautiful and perfectly suited.