#dont settle

Values

When it came to relationships, I used to get the short end of the stick. I was always the one constantly giving more affection, giving more time, and giving more care while only receiving less than half from others. And, of course, it hurt because I cared and wanted to build something that would last a lifetime with someone. But life always had something else in the cards for me. Many times in the past, I used to stay around in stagnant relationships because I always seemed to imagine the best in people—not knowing that one day they would stab me in the back and try to throw me off balance in my emotions. But, as I think back on each past lover, I never see any hate. I only see lessons that helped me grow into a better woman, and for that, I am thankful. If it weren’t for me being broken, I would've still been that naive young lady, who didn’t have her values in check. But as each day passes by now, I continue to evolve happily into the new me, the true me, the one who holds her values and standards to the utmost high because I know now more than ever that I am deserving. And let me tell you, it's a beautiful feeling when you finally realize your worth and know that you're deserving of everything you ask for because you know that you carry those exact qualities, and there's nothing wrong with expecting someone to do the same for you. A relationship is meant to be equal, not unbalanced.

Learning to Trust Again

So, now that my values are in check and mental wounds have been healed, it is time for the next obstacle to begin. And that is the obstacle of vulnerability to someone new. Now, in my personal life, I have chatted here and there, but I never seem to stay focused on anyone because that lingering thought of starting over and wasting my time again really scares me. What do I do? Sabotage, sabotage, and sabotage every connection known to mankind. At first, I didn’t even notice I was doing it until I looked up one day, almost two years after my last serious relationship, and started to think and realize how closed-hearted I had been with my emotions to others. And really, at first, I didn’t see it as a problem until I went deep within and asked myself a few questions, such as, Don’t you want to get married one day? Do you want to have a baby on your own? And lastly, do you not want to experience a balanced relationship? After I answered each question, I knew deep down I wanted something real, at least once in my life when it came to a lover. And I knew in order to build a successful relationship, I would have to put myself back out there into the unknown and trust that not every guy in this world has bad intentions, even though in the past I have encountered many bad apples who covered their bruises until they were picked from the tree. But that is what our intuition is for, right? It's a guide we all have for free within us as we roam this world, being our true selves and enjoying life safely, knowing that one day that person will appear.

Closed Hearts.

To all my closed-hearted friends, let's end this fear with confidence in ourselves, to know that we will choose the right one when the time comes because we have grown so much through our pain and learned what is meant for us in love and what is not.

Love you to the moon and back, "V”

"Be patient. Sometimes the one you're waiting for will be divinely put on your path when God knows you have healed and you're ready to accept love wholeheartedly again."

A few Before You Date Warnings/ Questions!

Please don't settle for less.

Don't ignore those red flags.

Be careful, a lot of people out here are crazy.

Do they seem codependent?

They got negative vibes, time to say goodbye.

That hygiene got to be fresh.

Dry communicators need to be quenched.

Will the relationship be balanced?

Don't rush anything, time will tell all.

Do they put in the work constantly?

Do they make you feel secure?