#dollface rambles

i’m the knower. i’ve known this.

ok. does anyone remember when these fabulous beasts stickers were given out i’m trying my hardest to remember but i’m blanking so bad

obviously her transness stems from the death of her dearly beloved mother. at first, her dressing like a woman was to get back at her family for covering up her mother’s death. in appearance she looks just like her mom, and she liked this because she WANTED to make her family uncomfortable. she WANTED to remind them of what they were trying to hide. she also CHANGED HER NAME BTW. she CHANGED it to yueniang. it was definitely to mimic her mother’s name but at the same time. this IS the new her. now i don’t have access to her paid reflection but i am pretty sure her dad killed her mom and had it covered up. anyone feel free to correct me! i’m like 100% certain that reflection goes more into her and her mom but again correct me if i’m wrong. ANYWAYS. over time she obviously felt more comfortable looking and dressing like a woman. something that started as revenge on her family became a comfort and obviously made her feel better about herself. she herself was strongly in denial of her transness probably due to internalized transphobia but girl it was so obvious. only playing as women in plays that SHE writes. WHICH SHE BASES OF OFF REALITY BTW. she’s known to base characters off of real people! so always inserting herself as a woman is veryyy interesting. also the fact she never wants to be perceived in men’s clothing or looking like a man because it makes her uncomfortable… she did it once to sneak into her family’s home but was unhappy about it. honestly i wonder if her mother never died if she would have found this out… perhaps she would have in a different way with her mother supporting her. her mother’s death caused yueniang’s rebirth if that makes sense. she found her true self due to her mother’s death. her transness holds hands with death and it’s sooo interesting. if i were to make a shining nikki tarot deck she would definitely be on the death card. i’m totally not biased because death is my favorite card but i do truly feel like it fits her. upright death is about transformation, renewal, rebirth, endings, moving on, transition yadda yadda. i feel like this is important to yueniang’s character. sure she is still obsessed with the death of her mother but by being so she changed herself into the person she wanted to be. her mother’s life ending opened a new chapter for yueniang. in that chapter she found out she’s a woman, if that isn’t obvious lol but yeah. also. she corrected young nikki and told her to call her miss. don’t try to argue with me on her being a trans woman. anyways this is all just One Big Ramble. have fun with the sludge that comes out of my brain

HOPE U LIKE IT ANON i have never heard that song before but i tried based off vibes