#dollarstore

$2 Snails in a Can

Location: Dollarama across from Dundas West Station (not limited to)

Behold, $2 snail in a can (aptly named on the receipt lol), dollarama’s gourmet (that was an oxymoron) escargot in a can (and that sounds like a health hazard). Of all the things one reaps from the treasure trove of this business, I feel I’m starting off incredibly strong by immediately stepping up with dollar store unfrozen shellfish. What a hurrah for the account’s inaugural post, which considering the content may also be its last. We’re going old school preservation methods with these suspicious salted snails, just like how 19th century Canada used to do with prime mess pork!

Oh, it’s just snail, no shell! My friend and I had debated about that; I worried I was going to have to somehow, with the worlds tiniest fork, spear minuscule bits of snail out of an impossible situation. I mean, this makes sense. it does say 36 snails in a tiny ass can. How would it fit while still giving you something to chew on?

The smell is definitely seafood. it doesn’t make me gag so that’s an excellent start IMO. Now, it looks cooked, but I rather peel my own skin off slither by slither than raw dog this and slurp it straight off the tin, so on the safest possible side, just left of not buying dollar store snails, I’m going to bake it and hope that achieves something. At the very least it will be hot, and the caveman in me will be appeased by the fire.

prep (mostly by my mom who didn't want me to die): 

Pre-heat microwave oven (or oven if you’re fancy) to 350C. 

Melt some butter (serving to taste). We popped a 1 cm-ish slice of butter into the microwave for 45 seconds. The butter will become drinkable (drinking butter is not advised). 

Add parsley, black pepper, and garlic powder to the butter, to taste. Mixed well. 

Optional: salt the snails again a little and add a bit of white pepper to reduce the fishiness. 

Pour the butter mix onto the snails and mix. Transfer the whole thing onto a baking dish. 

Optional: add cheese.

Bake for 10 ish minutes.

I’m serving it with some plain Capellini, mixing it in so the butter from the escargot gives the pasta flavour.

Given it’s been drenched in garlic butter, it obviously smells amazing. It looks very decent as well. Promising stuff, guys.

Oh my god. it’s good (a lot of the heavy lifting here comes from the surprise I might not perish from food poisoning). There’s a firm texture to it, so there’s a bite, and that makes it feel sort of fresh. The taste is similar to the ones I’ve had in restaurants (not like 3 star Michelin ones, mind you). I don’t think I’m getting food poisoning (famous last words) (I didn’t get poisoned) (yet)? The size of each escargot is decent, even meaty, and true to the written tin it does indeed have roughly 36 snails in a can. There’s a slightly fishy taste, but I am personally fine with that and consider it part of the shellfish experience given that’s… what it is. Good showing. Pleasantly surprised! GG dollarama?? I didn’t die?

Verdict: B. pass with crawling colours. Other supermarket snails (I checked metro) have roughly the same amount of snails for more dough ($$$), so may buy again. taste is decent for what i was expecting.

Dollar Tree, Family Dollar and Dollar General and even the 99 cent store is a great place to get items for witchcraft on a budget. Keep more money in your wallet on Prosperity Thursday🤑

So they had like normal ones:

BUT THEN

America?!?