Btw I whole-heartedly believe that if doctor who was a real story and not restricted by the people who create it then Yaz would've stayed for another regeneration. I think she loved the doctor and even if she struggled at first, like rose and clara did, she would love the next one too. The only reason she didnt stay is because the show changed showrunners
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Fandom: Doctor Who
Ships: Fourteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Characters: Fourteenth Doctor, Yasmin Khan
Rating: General
Word Count: 3,688
Other Tags: Reunions
Read on AO3
Summary: Finally ready to explain everything, the Doctor knocks on Yaz's door.
NOTES: i feel like i haven't posted anything in a million years⌠hi everyone :)
Yaz didn't expect the knock on her door.
For one thing, it was late at night. She'd just gotten home from a busy shift, and she was sort of looking forward to sprawling out on her sofa with a takeaway and some truly awful television. She was glad she'd gone for the EMT course, but wow, did Sheffield have some exhausting emergencies.Â
For another thing, no one just⌠knocked on her door. They texted ahead of time to ask if they could come by. Especially at this time of night.Â
The knock came again. Yaz sighed. Probably one of her neighbors was locked out or something. Well, if that was the case, she was the right person to ask, after that lockpicking demo Houdini had given her, and then all the practice she'd gotten. She made her way to the doorâ
âand opened it to a total stranger. Middle aged white man, by all appearances, and not one of her neighbors, or at least, she would've remembered if one of her neighbors had hair like that and went around matching their trousers to their waistcoat. Or went around wearing a waistcoat at all, for that matterâ
Hang on. That fashion senseâsomething felt familiar.Â
This wasn't a stranger.Â
Yaz's heart leapt into her throat.Â
She could see it in the way they held themself, the way they were rocking back on their heels, the way their silence hung brightly in front of them as they waited for her to make the first move. She opened her mouth, only to realize she had no idea what to sayâ
What came out was, âIt's midnight.â
âOh. Sorry. Lost track ofââ
âYeah, I know.â Yaz raised her eyebrows. âSo are you going to come in, or what?â
âOh! Right! Yes! Coming in!â Their accent had changed, Yaz noted. She wasn't sure why she'd expected it to stay the same. Now she thought about it, she wondered why the change hadn't been more drasticâthey'd been Scottish before, she was pretty sure, and then Northern, and now London, but why did they seem limited to just the one island when there was a whole world full of Anglophone accents out there?Â
She shook her head. It didn't matter. She stepped away from the doorframe, and they followed her into the kitchen.Â
âNice place,â they remarked, looking around. Yaz followed their gaze. There was nothing particularly special about her kitchenâit had come with the flat, and featured the nondescript wooden cupboards and white counters. Sheâd hung up some string lights, and she kept the place clean, but mostly it looked like any other kitchen in any other rented flat.
âNice enough,â she said. She nodded at the electric kettle, which was blowing steam in the corner. âI was just making a cup of tea. Dâyou want one?â
âOh, sure.âÂ
Yaz glanced over at them. Their eye was still moving around the space, taking everything inâyes, definitely familiar. And the way they slouched against one of the counters, head tilted back⌠Yaz felt a pang of bittersweet affection, so intense and sudden she had to look away.
âWhat sort of tea?â she asked. âMatcha? Chamomile? Peppermint? Earl Grey?â She glanced back. âBit late for caffeine, if youâre constrained to linear timeââÂ
âNo, yes, thatâs a good point.â They nodded. âBetter be chamomile, then.â
âRight.â Yaz opened her tea drawer, plucked out two chamomile teabags, dropped them into the mugs, filled the mugs with hot water. She picked them both up and turned, holding one out as an offeringâthey took it, turning a critical eye to the galaxy-print mug.
âThis is nice,â they said.
âThanks,â Yaz said. âGift from Sonya.â
âRight, right. How is Sonya?â
âSame as always.â Yaz smiled. âStill a menace.â
They laughed. âSorry to hear it.âÂ
Yaz raised her eyebrows. âSo. What have you been up to?âÂ
âErââ Their eyes darted around the room, and yes, that was familiar too, the way they looked at their surroundings like a cornered prey animal, as if it was their house and Yaz was the one who'd knocked on the door late at night. âCould we maybe sit down?â
ââCourse.â Yaz led them to the little table in the corner of the room. They sat across from her, and Yaz eyed them as they sipped slowly from the galaxy-print mug. âYou're different,â she said.Â
They tilted their head to the side, attentive, but they didnât say anything. They just looked at her, brows drawn together, waiting to hear what she would say next.Â
Yaz swallowed. âI meanââ What did she mean? âYou never used to be able to sit still like that.â She nodded at their arms, crossed at their chest, and their feet, planted firmly on the ground, and their eyes, trained entirely on Yaz. âHow long has it been?â
âOh, not so long. Few weeks, maybe?â
Yazâs eyebrows shot up. âA few weeks?â
âYes, I know, I shouldâve come soonerââ
âDoctor,â Yaz said. âItâs been over a year.â
They went quiet at that.Â
âIâve been here, worried about you, for over a year.âÂ
âIâm sorry.âÂ
Yazâs eyes widened. It wasnât just that theyâd apologizedâthe Doctor had done that plenty. But the way they said itâslowly, carefully, with mavity and weight behind itâeven though she'd begged and pled for this, Yaz had never, ever thought she'd actually get it. Especially not a full year after sheâd walked out of the TARDIS forever.Â
âI shouldn't have kicked you out.â They took a deep breath. âI should've told you what was going on. Iââ They were studying their hand, tilting it back and forth in front of them. âI wasn't ready yet. It's not an excuse, I justââ They shook their head. âI'm sorry,â they said again, and they looked just enough like a kicked puppy that Yaz couldn't help but smile.Â
âI've missed you,â she said.
âI've missed you too.â
âYou've really hurt me.â Yaz found herself fiddling with the string on her teabag, her fingers twisting so that it twined around them, staring at the thin lines the tea-stained thread left in her skin. âUNIT had to find me a therapist who wouldn't tell me I was delusional.â
They grimaced. âI've got one too. Also from UNIT. Not the same one, I hope.â
âIâd assume not,â Yaz said. âBeing your therapist is probably a full-time job on its own, actually. No time for other clients.â
They laughed. âQuite right. That's part of why I'm here, actually.â They hesitated. âWellânot here, here. Althoughâthat too. But I meanâon Earth, here.â
âWhat, so you can do therapy?â Yaz tried to imagine it. How did their sessions even go?Â
âSort of.â They paused. âI hadâmaybe you could call it an out-of-body experience?â
Yaz raised her eyebrows.Â
âOrâan in-body experience, but with another body, also mine, next to me.â They shake their head. âIt's a long story. I'll tell it, if you like, butââ They took a deep breath. âWhat I came here to say is, I'm sorry I hurt you.â
Yaz suppressed a gasp.Â
The Doctor had never looked at her like this, had never met her eyes with so few reservations, so few barriers.Â
âTherapyâs working, then?â she joked, and then she winced, because this was no time for that sort of joke. âSorry. I meanââ She returned their eye contact and exhaled, dispelling all her self-consciousness and worry so that she could mean it, totally and completely, when she said, âThank you.â
She saw the moment they heard it, the moment the tension went out of their shoulders, the moment they sighed in relief. After a long inhale, they added, âCan IâI meanâdo you still want to hear everything? Can I tell you?âÂ
Yaz looked at them. It had been over a year since sheâd seen them lastâover a year since Letâs not say goodbye, since Can we just live in the present?, since I want to tell you everything. Sheâd done a lot, in that year. Spent time learning how to be on her own, how to be herself, how to live an interesting life even if the Doctor wasnât there. And sheâd come to terms with the fact that she wouldnât know, could never know, what it was that had the Doctor racing from adventure to adventure, chasing after total strangers, putting herself and Yaz in constant danger.
Butâhere they were. The Doctor. Every cell in their body had changed, and theyâd still come back for Yaz.
She swallowed. âOkay,â she said. âIâd like that.â
âYou remember,â the Doctor began, âwhen we went to Gallifrey?â
Yaz nodded. She remembered only too well: the strange, shining portal; running into a jarringly unfamiliar TARDIS; the Doctorâs tear-stained face.
âThe Master showed me something from Time Lord history.â The Doctor set down their mug. âSomethingâabout me, as it turned out.â
Yaz waited.
âThey lied to me.â The Doctorâs voice was low and rough. âThey said I was one of them.â
âAnd you're not?â
The Doctor shook their head. âTheyâthis womanâshe found me.â
âFound you?â
âAs a kid. Found me, took me in.â They took a deep breath. âDid you know, there wasn't always such a thing as a Time Lord? It's a rank, not a species. Got a bit muddled, later on, butââ A long pause. âI was the first.â The way they said itâYaz could hear the tears in their voice. They sounded so childlike, so helplessâand they continuedââThey didn't have regeneration before me. I fellâdiedâcame backââ They looked up at Yaz. âMy adopted mother was a scientist.â
The words hung in the air for a long moment.Â
âSheââ Yaz began, unsure how to ask the question.Â
âShe experimented on me. Killed me, over and over again. Figured out how to use my regeneration energy on herself. Made me work for her military organization. And then, when she was done with me, she wiped my memory and made me do my childhood over again.â
Yazâs hands were trembling on her mug. She set it down. âThat's awful.âÂ
âI met her.âÂ
âWhat, recently?â
âWhen I got turned into an angel.â When Yaz had spent four years traveling the world, trying to get back to the Doctor. âThey took me to her. She wasâshe was destroying the universe because of me.â
Yaz frowned. âWhat's the logic there?â
âShe thought I was a threat to her organization,â the Doctor said. âI don'tâit doesn't make sense. I'm not sure it's supposed to make sense.â They paused. âShe was trying to start over. With another universe. Because I had ruined her plans for the first one.â
âThat'sââ Yaz stopped short. There weren't words to describe what that was.Â
âItâs not an excuse,â the Doctor said. âFor how I treated you, I mean.â
Yaz tilted her head to the side. âIsnât it? I meanâI spent years trying to figure out what couldâve happened that you were reacting like that. Trying to figure out whatâin any universeâcould justify the way you were acting.â She shook her head. âThisâI meanâit blows all my old theories out of the water.â
âOh? What theories were those?â
âThought you mightâve stolen something. Or had something stolen from you. Or else you were just sad that Gallifrey was destroyed. Or maybe there was something with you and the Master I didnât know about.â
âYou werenât far off, then,â the Doctor said. âSomething was stolen from me, and Iâve stolen plenty. And Iâll always be sad about Gallifrey, and the Master.â Suddenly, in the dim light of the kitchen at midnight, Yaz could see every exhausted line in the Doctorâs face, the weariness in their eyes. They were thousands of years old. It was easy to forget, when they looked like any other human, but now it was impossible to overlookâYaz could feel the full weight of all those years seeping through the Doctorâs expression. âItâs just that thereâs more. So much more. And I never wouldâve known if the Master hadnât told me.â
âDoctor,â Yaz breathed. âIâm so sorry.â
âDonât you go apologizing to me,â the Doctor said. âNot when I came here to apologize to you.â
Yaz smiled. âItâs not like apology is a limited resource. I think thereâs enough to go around.â
âSuppose youâre right.â The Doctor looked at her, their hand absently tracing the rim of their mug. âYou seem to be doing all right for yourself?â
âCould be worse.â Yaz shrugged. âPlace is nice. Iâve got a good job. Some days I forget my family thinks Iâm four years younger than I actually am.â She fiddled with her teabag. âFeels like a dream, sometimes. The time I spent with you. If I didnât have the others, maybe Iâd believe it was one.âÂ
âThe othersâRyan and Graham?â
âThem too,â Yaz said. She looked at the Doctor. âHang on, has no one told you?â
âTold me what?â
âTegan and Ace started a support group,â Yaz said. âFor all your old friends.âÂ
The Doctorâs mouth dropped open. âHang on. Is Mel involved? Mel Bush?â
Yaz nodded.
âAnd she didnât tell me?â They looked so hurt, Yaz had to laugh.
âI think you not knowing about it is sort of the point,â she said.Â
âStill. I will be having words with Mel.âÂ
âWas wondering why I hadnât heard from her in a couple weeks. Thought it was just that she was busy with UNIT.â
âWell, in fairness, UNIT was taking up a good deal of her time.âÂ
Yaz hesitated. âWas thatâI mean, when the whole world went totally unreasonable, and me and Ryan and Ace were on Sheffield cleanup duty? Ace said UNIT was involved. She kept passing on messages from Kate.â
âYouâre not working with them, then?â
Yaz shook her head. âKate offered. All felt a bit too military for me. Thereâs a reason I quit the police.â She paused. âBut, you know, something comes up, I help where I can. Didnât love being the only sane EMT in Sheffield, mind.âÂ
âOh, you're an EMT now?â
âWhy did you think I was up so late?â Yaz smiled. âEvening shift. Just passed the training a couple months ago.â
The Doctor smiled back, their eyes bright and warm. âYasmin Khan,â they said. âLook at you. Still saving lives.â
âDoctor,â Yaz parroted. âLook at you. Slowing down.â
âOh, don't worry. I'm still traveling. Same as ever. Just taking breaks in between.â They hesitated. âYou could join me, one of these days. Quick trip. Can almost guarantee it won't be dangerous.â
Yaz had spent a whole year coming to terms with the fact that she would never travel with the Doctor again. It had taken her months to really, truly, accept that as fact. Getting in the TARDIS again could undo all that progressâbut she looked at the Doctor, so different but so very unchanged, and a soft, warm feeling expanded in her chest at the thought of traveling with them again.Â
âIâd like that,â she said. And then her brain caught up to her mouth, and she added, âOnly one trip at a time, and you'll have to get me back to the time and place we left. I've got a job I like now, and I don't fancy losing it âcause my alien friend from outer space keeps taking me on adventures.â
The Doctorâs eyes were loaded with affection. âQuite right.âÂ
âText me beforehand, too,â Yaz added. âNone of this materializing out of nowhere business.âÂ
âYour numberâs the same?â the Doctor checked.
Yaz nodded.
âAll right, then. Iâll text you.â They paused. âIâm getting better at all this scheduling business, you know. Living as a human, and all that. Actually, you should come by my house sometime. Shouldâve offered that before the time travel.âÂ
âYou have a house?âÂ
âOi, whatâs so surprising about that?â the Doctor asked. âItâs in London. Decent size place, all for me, only Iâve got some friendsâfamily, sort ofâwhoâre always around. The TARDIS is nice, but itâs hardly got a mailing address.â
âAre people sending you letters?â Yaz asked.
âMostly bills,â the Doctor mumbled. âYâknow. For the house.âÂ
âSo, you need a house so you can have a mailing address, and you need the mailing address so you can get bills for the house?â Yaz was holding back laughter, and doing a terrible job of hiding it.
âI didnât come here to be mocked,â the Doctor protested. âThrown out, all right, that wouldâve been fine. Expected it, really. Butâmockery? Thatâs too far. Anyway, without a house, I wouldnât have a garden, would I? And without a garden, no one would come round for tea, and I quite like having people come round for tea. I could have you come round for tea! Pick you up in the TARDIS, have you there and back in an afternoonââ
Yaz carefully did not mention the miles and miles of gardens sheâd walked through on the TARDIS. âIâd be honored,â she said. âAnd maybe I can meet these friends of yours?â
The Doctorâs face lit up. âYes! Brilliant! Youâll like my friends. Theyâll love you. Well, you already know Mel, of course, but Donnaâsheâs sort of a special case. Didnât remember meâcouldnâtâuntil she could againâand sheâs got this daughter, andâoh, youâll love them. I love them.â
Yaz felt a rush of affection for the Doctor, her Doctor, that overeager alien sitting in her living room, drinking tea and talking a mile a minute, full of enthusiasm, full of love for the universe and everything in it, despite all this universe had taken from them.Â
âIâm sure I will,â she said. She set down her mug on the table. âYou know, itâs good to see you again. Wasnât sure I would. Wasnât sure I wanted to.â
âI wasnât going to come,â the Doctor said. âNot yet, anyway. Except I told Donna about youâabout everythingâand she said if I didnât at least try to apologize, sheâd slap me across the face.â
âGood friend, that Donna.â
The Doctor beamed. âI know.â They took a deep breath, their smile settling into a more serious expression. âReally, though. Thank you for not slamming the door in my face.âÂ
âAnytime.âÂ
âAndââ The Doctor hesitated. âIâll go in a momentâdonât want to disrupt anythingâ
âItâs all rightââ
ââbut I had one more thing I wanted to say to you. If youâll hear it.â They were fiddling with the teabag again, avoiding Yazâs eyes in a way that made her a little nervous. Sheâd already heard the Doctorâs deepest secretâwhat else could they say?
âOf course Iâll hear it,â she said anyway.
The Doctor nodded. âRight. Itâs just thatâI seem to be more open, this time round, even without the rest and the therapy. And it occurs to me that there are loads of people I can never see again, never talk to. And most of those people, I never really told them what I wanted to tell them. Particularly, I never really told them how Iâwhat they meant to me.â
Yaz found herself chewing on her lower lip. âYeah?â
âYeah.â Their eyes were glistening. âAnd it occurs to me, I suppose, that I never told you either, not really, not properly, andâwell, Iâm lucky youâre still here, arenât I?â
Yaz waited.Â
âSoââ They swallowed. âIn the name of healing, and being open, and all the people Iâve missed the chance to say it toâI just wanted to tell you that I really did love you, Yasmin Khan. Still do.â
Yaz felt tears in her eyes and an ache in her throat before sheâd even fully processed what theyâd said. She stood, and the Doctor stood tooâshe took two big steps to reach them and pulled them into a tight hug. Her head rested against their shoulder, and they dropped their forehead forward to rest against her hair. They were taller now, their arms a little longer, their hair prickly with gel for some reason, and it took Yaz a second to adjust to the unfamiliar familiarity of their cool skin and warm breath.Â
âI think Iâll always love you,â she whispered, as close as she could come to a true confession, and she felt the contradiction of the Doctorâs back and shoulder muscles relaxing while their arms tightened around her. Yaz held on for another moment, partially basking in the peace the Doctorâs touch brought, partially horrified that she could fall back into this so easily, and then she pulled back. âIâll see you soon? I have Thursday offââ
âThursday, then,â the Doctor said. âIâll text you.âÂ
âRight.â Yaz held their eyes for another long moment. Finally, she leaned up and pressed a kiss to the Doctorâs cheek. âIâll see you Thursday. And you can introduce me to all your friends. And tell Mel we miss her at the support group, yeah?â
ââCourse.â The Doctor gave her a two-fingered salute, at which Yaz rolled her eyes good-naturedly.Â
âHave a safe trip home,â she deadpanned, sure the TARDIS was parked around the corner or something, waiting to take the Doctor back to their brand new house.
âI will, thanks.â The Doctor grinned. âDid you know, UNITâs kept my old car from when I was stuck on Earth in the â70âs?â
Yazâs jaw dropped. âYou drove here?â
âTold you I was settling down a bit, didnât I?âÂ
âThen I wish a safe trip to everyone who has the misfortune of sharing the road with you,â Yaz teased.Â
âOi, Iâm not that bad. Donât want to risk damage to the car. Sheâs an antique.â
Yaz waved a hand. âGet out of here before I start making fun of you for calling your car she.â
âHer nameâs Bessie,â the Doctor added, but they were already backing away from Yaz, towards the door. âIâll text you when I get back to London, if thatâll help your peace of mind.â
âSure,â Yaz said, shaking her head. âIâll see you Thursday.âÂ
âSee you.â The Doctor left, the door swinging shut behind them, and Yaz sank back down into her chair.Â
She was going to have a lot to tell her therapist this week.Â
And yet when she woke up, the next morning, to a text from the DoctorâHome safe!âshe couldnât help but smile.
...
END NOTES: you can pry the mavity bit from my cold dead hands.
also i have a couple ideas for more stories after this one, i wanted to have them talk a bit more about the doctor's gender in this one but i realized that's probably a later conversation, and then also i have a picture of yaz and the doctor winding up in a bit of a relationship but explicitly polyamorous and yaz getting a new partner who's just a normal human and slowly figures out that something Weird is going on with their metamour(s).
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