Dec 18, 2021
norman and otto saying each other’s names as often as they could can be something so personal
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norman and otto saying each other’s names as often as they could can be something so personal
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Ricardo Morales (Alfred Molina)
Law and Order: Los Angeles
Season 1 & 2
Really want a young Doctor Octavius fanfic, just don't know what the story would be. His upbringing to professorhood
Monday & Tuesday
This will probably be my last writing. I haven’t gotten much time. Yesterday I went again to the Session and while I was there I realised that it was worth it learning the truth. Because maybe it made me a little unhappy, but it was something new, something I had never experienced. It was worth it. So, I tried to evade the bed as I feared that They would erase the truth, but They caught me trying to sneak off. Therefore, I’ve been all night escaping Them. I could enter my home and I locked myself in, but it won’t take long until They manage to open the door. I could say so many things about what happened. I’ve lived long, but in my entire life I always felt the same, happy.I have only one regret. That I didn’t find out sooner, that I would spare me all these years of eternal happiness, because even if I die, it was all the best and only remarkable thing that ever happened. I always thought that happiness, or the idea of happiness was something I could control. But it was actually this lie that formed me into whatever it wanted. This lie that has formed all of us. And yes, lies are soft and easier to live with. But the truth. The truth is unique. It may be spiky and hard. But it is worth embracing. And you are the only one who has the right to
Sunday
Today I woke up prepared. I didn’t sleep much, but apparently it is not vital, because I feel more awake than ever. I brought a piece of paper with me and today and apparently, They didn’t find it. I haven’t read my writing because I was too afraid that They might get suspicious. Now it is almost night and I have barely light to read it, I will have to make it quick.
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This is what I wrote, and I quote: “Session. They put us in a white medical bed (“like my drawing showed”), there we forget everything about this session. reread the last days of the diary to see if we forget anything else.”
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I’ve just read my entry of Yesterday and about what happened with one of Them. I really have no memory of that. I completely forgot. They made me forget. This would confirm the word I wrote on Friday: “bad things” and my suspicions that They make us forget all bad things. That’s why I’m happy. By removing everything sad, everything that could be a threat to my happiness. I really don’t know how to feel about this. Maybe it’s morally incorrect. But then, They did keep me happy. Maybe it was better not to even start with this diary. I discovered the truth and I didn’t like it. I made a mistake.
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Friday
As I wrote yesterday, I tried to remember what They do to me during the sessions. There was however, a slight problem. I tried to sneak a white piece of paper and a black pencil in, but I think They found the paper and took it away. That’s why I had to write on my arm or my hand. My writing was a serious problem since I never learned how to write properly, nowadays, we don’t really need it. I still managed to draw or even write some letters in order to form some words. At first it looks something I can only assume is a medical bed. It doesn’t look like a normal bed because it has a handrail. Additionally, it doesn’t look very comfortable. And there are rings on the side of the bed. I didn’t know I could draw this good. I painted nearly every detail. How did I get the time to finish this drawing? Then right next to it… “Bad” Then: “farget”? No, Forget. Forget? Around these words are scribbles I can’t yet decipher. I really must learn how to write properly. I will spend tomorrow practicing so that on Sunday I will be able to write everything and be able to understand it. But how will I manage it all? I have the session again the first half of the day. And on the afternoon, we have to watch the show. I’ll have to do it at night to evade the risk getting of caught. Likewise, I will also practice writing in the dark. It may come in handy during the session as I don’t really know where I’m going. The only problem is when I’m getting my sleep. I can’t miss sleep. The Healer says lack of sleep makes us unhappy. Well, maybe if it is just for one night it won’t matter. For now, I’ve written more than I thought I would and I really don’t want to get caught or stay awake much longer, I need to rest for tomorrow.
Thursday
Today. Thursday. It has been a normal day. Nothing special. That’s good. Well, I woke up and I went to the session. I don’t think I need to describe what we do in our session. I mean, I couldn’t if I wanted to. I never remember where I spend the first seven hours of my day. Nobody does. We know we get paid to be there. Not with money. But with food, a house, everything we need to have to keep living and then sometimes a little extra bonus like a gift, it’s always the same gift for everyone but it’s very good. After that, like all of us, I went home, to watch the today’s show. It was good. It’s always good. Thanks to the Healer. At the end, he spoke to us again. That was very strange and rare, but it was appreciated. It always is when the Healer shows up. Then all the lights went out and now I’m writing in the darkness. Wow. I hoped to someday fill a book with my thoughts, but at this rate, I mean I haven’t even filled out a page describing today. And I’m starting to think I like writing, because it gets me thinking, mostly about what I’m writing. For example, now I would really like to know what happens in my sessions. I never asked myself this. I never doubted the sessions because it would mean to doubt the Healer and I don’t want that. But I don’t doubt Them, I’m just curious.
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I have an idea. Tomorrow I will bring the pencil with me and try to write what I see during the session. Yes. I will do that. That is a good idea.
Can someone with editing capabilities dub TSSM col with lines from X THE ELIMINATOR (TM) for me? Cool. Thanks.