You are a person and that's tricky, but you're doing great

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar... followed by Batman.

If you are really a product of a materialistic universe, how is it that you don't feel at home there?

hipster god: i loved the universe before it got big >.>

I haven't slept for five days, because that would be a really long time to sleep.

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo.

The idiom 'Late to your own funeral' is a pun