Sep 10, 2017
ITS DND TIME MOTHERFUCKERS (not pictured: @lostozian because she gave up on skype)
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ITS DND TIME MOTHERFUCKERS (not pictured: @lostozian because she gave up on skype)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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DnD Session #21:
“I’ll never forget you, Jimjar.” “You will.”
[after losing the names of two NPCs] “Fuck it. Istus and Mistus.”
“Are they both oracles of the future?” “No, because Istus is the oracle of the future and Mistus is the oracle of the past because you MISSED IT”
“I mean, we got like an oracle certified paternity test.”
“We deserve a drink; we’ve been in jail for ten days.”
“So what do you want to do at the tavern? You want to get hammered? It’s like noon.”
“What’s your 8 dollar-est bottle of wine?”
“It’s so rustic in here, Cora’s gonna nut.”
“No. No, that’s war crimes.”
“We’re back in France. Fantasy France. FRANTASY.” “Get out.”
“He’s just a cringe. A human cringe.”
“What’s a better version of ‘hey fucktruck?’” “Hey truckfuck.”
DnD Session #19: When the gods gave out patience, they skipped us
“He’s not like a full duke. He’s like a dukelet.” “A dukeling.”
“Stool emits some spores.” “...........are they good spores?”
“YOU ARE ON MOUTH LOCKDOWN, MISSY”
“They’re gonna take me to the Underdark city of [just starts screaming]”
“I really wish Fear was a lasting spell. Like, STEP INTO THE FEAR CONE.”
“#1: I have Flame Blade, but #2: I could be a bear right now and I’m trying to make that happen.”
“If you die as a bear, you die in real life.”
“At long last, Sariel can perceive.”
“Sariel doesn’t do anything. She’s just gay and drunk; that’s her thing.” “Well, I’m gay and drunk and I’m a bear so you need to step up your game.”
“Is it a drow or a qu- que-” “IT’S NOT A QUEEF”
“He can stay in the knives or he can go into the fuckoff circle.”
“STOP CIRCUMVENTING MY FLAVOR”
And finally, the saddest roll of the game thus far:
DnD Session #20: helf this delf
“Have you guys seen that new movie starring Battlecry Screamyell?”
“Can I get a point of inspiration for being a fuckass again?” “YOU DO NOT GET A POINT OF INSPIRATION FOR CONDEMNING US ALL TO DEATH”
“I take my shield and I fix the poison.”
“Can I say “Oh, for fuck’s sake” as a free action?”
“The elf is delf.”
“Please helf this elf.”
“I run to Sariel. To.....helf the elf.” “Helf the delf elf.” “Can I helf the delf elf?” [entire party dissolves into laughter for a full minute]
“That hits. Roll your dimmadam.”
“I HAVE A MONOPOLY” “On punching?”
“Wait, he isn’t dead - SPIDER SURPRISE”
DnD Session #18: Sure did forget to post these for almost a year
“You fucked up a perfectly good duchy is what you did; look at it, it’s got internal and external political conflict.”
“Renard Newport’s never had a REAL duchy in his LIFE.”
“Careful with the baggage; it’s designer.” “Careful with the baggage; it’s Infernal.”
“Do I need to kill him?” “NO. NO. OPPOSITE OF THAT.”
“As the druid, I think I’m the one who could cover you in bees.”
“The halfling stress-burps.”
“You have forgotten your elf and thus forgotten me.”
“As the only cis male dragon in this group, somehow...”
“I WANNA GET IN A BARFIGHT”
“I’ll take a ye olde whiskey neat.”
“You’d probably just need a thimble [of alcohol] and you’re done.” “You wanna get a thimble of whoopass? Cause that’ll be enough to take you down.”
“ROLL PERCEPTION TO FIND THE CLIT”
“What idiot would hire goblin assassins?” “Someone on a budget.”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
a thing i love about tabletop rpgs is that there’s really nothing stopping you from tweaking the rules to better fit your interests
for example, if my cleric ever reaches a level where she can cast Insect Plague, i am going to do everything in my power to ensure that instead of conjuring a sphere of locusts, she just unleashes a full on kamehameha wave of bees
My immediate thought was tiefling because of ur iconic hair! Maybe an arcane trickster rogue
okay but screaming I love this. I’m actually about to multiclass into rogue in one of my campaigns, and I’m literally dying to play one at this point.
DM: so what class is your character
me: lesbian