#dmergio

My favorite ship type is " sweet angel x Joe walker"

I also tried out washi tape art out

DMA and Owen are separate characters for like all these headcanons

Sergio and his wife get a divorce and she takes their kids

He ends up completely gushing about it and over sharing to DMA

“Do I look like I care, love?”

The nickname makes Sergio completely melt immediately. “No.”

“Yeah, yeah. But for some reason I actually do. Keep talking.”

Sergio keeps venting about it and for some reason he’s really touched that DMA cares about him.

The vent ends with, “-and I’m not as sad as I should be. I’m worried about my kids but I could give a shit less about my wife.”

Knowing DMA he was probably fuckin sharpening knives the entire conversation or something. He whatever he’s doing he stops and actually looks at Sergio.

“Why the hell not?”

Sergio immediately tenses up and just shrugs, acting like he has no idea what’s up.

DMA doesn’t even try to hide his beaming smile. It’s not the crooked, strangely offputting smile it usually is. It’s looks like a genuine one.

They’ve been ‘doing business together’ for a while, which is what they say instead of facing the fact that they’re literally best friends.

DMA ‘accidentally’ brushes his hand against Sergio, who flinches away almost automatically.

“You’d think after all this time you wouldn’t be scared of me.”

“I’m not!”

DMA raises an eyebrow at him.

Little does Sergio know DMA’s hella gay and hella into him and has been since the first time they met.

DMA keeps doing small things to flirt with him as they keep talking. More touching and he sits a lot closer. He even just outright whispers ‘your hair looks so fucking good today’ in his ear. Sergio just smiled and said ‘thanks’ way too quietly. His face was red the entire time.

That went on for like an hour.

DMA just can’t stand it anymore and gently cups Sergio’s cheek, turning his face to him.

“Why don’t you miss your wife?”

Sergio snaps and kissed him. It doesn’t take long for them to be all over each other and for there to be more grabbing and such.

Once they pull away from the kiss, DMA smiles in a way Sergio’s never seen before and it warms his heart.

“You’re a bastard. Should’ve done that sooner.”

Sergio hugs him tighter. “I had a wife!”

“And I’m a hitman.”

“I’m not letting you kill my ex-wife.”

Sergio knows he’s the only person who could tell the Deadliest Man Alive what he’s ‘not letting him’ do.

“You...are so fucking lucky I fell for you, no one else can talk to me that way, love.” DMA responded, not knowing he read Sergio’s mind there.

They just kiss more after that and it turns out DMA’s sort of a huge sap who doesn’t want to take it any further until it ‘feels right.’

Sergio teases him about it.

“Feel special, prick. Anyone else’s clothes would already be on the floor.”

“Aww, got a crush on me?”

“Fuck you.” But he’s smiling when he says it.

They just sleep in the same bed and Sergio feels like the most lucky guy in the world to have DMA’s arms around him.

It was still weird to wrap his head around the fact that he was...sort of the boyfriend of the literal Deadliest Man Alive.

When they woke up, Sergio kissed his forehead and made DMA smile and get even closer to him.

“I know you won’t tell anyone about us but you better not tell anyone-“

“That you’re one sappy motherfucker?”

DMA just paused and kissed him. “Oh the things I would do if I didn’t love you so much.”

If Sergio didn’t miss his wife before, he REALLY didn’t now.

As the relationship went on, Sergio heard DMA say ‘I love you’ more times than he ever expected.

Maybe he was the Deadliest Man Alive, but he was also the corniest, most sappy, and quite unexpectedly snuggly man alive too.

Ranked by how much I agree

7/10, Brosenthal isn't really my type but Quirrel is a good man good for you Joe

Well that's people having a crush on Joe but I rank her 15/10 she's gorgeous

No I don't like this at all, you deserve better than Dumbledore Joe, 2/10

He looks so happy and Jim's costume is iconic, 9/10

OMG Devin is so pretty 13/10

This is platonic ok I just wanted an excuse to say how much I love Nick 10/10

We can't see her react so much but he is CUTE like that, she's a very special clone, 11/10

This sad boi is very mean, also I prefer you with Sergio Joe, 3/10

That's it, Joey is perfect, this ship is perfect, 15/10

Sergio sighed quietly, this was the first night he was staying with the deadliest man and he was slightly worried. He had no reason to be, obviously, despite the name, deadliest man was actually a very kind person. He just also had a lot of… issues? Sergio was currently standing in front of the bathroom mirror, he had just taken a shower after a very nice day with his, what were they even calling themselves at this point? He’ll call them boyfriends for now and clarify later. After a very nice day with his boyfriend and was invited to stay the night in his flat. This was worrying for two reasons. 1. This was a majorly personal thing to share, dates are one thing, sharing a bed while dating is another 2. The deadliest man is a very private person. He doesn’t share much about his personal life so, opening his home and allowing himself to be at his most vulnerable in front of Sergio is a huge step in their relationship.

That’s my ex boyfriend. - Well kiss me so they can see.

“I’ve got you... right where I want you,” DMA growled out, practically giddy in anticipation. He had managed to get the Curt Mega, right there, in his clutches... Without the idiotic Nazi to bungle things up. 

“Why do you even care about me? I’ve only met you twice!”

“Oh, that’s what you think... Personal history does have its benefits, Mega,” he replied. He savored Curt’s slow-dawning horror as he pulled his mask up, laughing. “What, didn’t think I’d lived, Curt?” DMA pulled a whisk off the shelf, before pausing. “A- What the fuck?”

Curt, through his sudden onset tears, let out a small chuckle. “A whisk...?”

“SHUT UP! You don’t get to laugh at me! OI! LOVE! COULD YOU GET DOWN HERE? AND BRING THE CHEESE GRATER!”

“What- love?” Curt spluttered. Oh god. It suddenly hit him that he was not going to make it out of this basement alive. 

“Oh, yes... You think I wouldn’t have found another?”

Sergio came downstairs, holding the cheese grater and a knife. “Here you go, Deadly!”

“Thanks, love. You’re the gratest. Want to give me a hand?” DMA took the cheese grater from him, smiling a little.

“Uh- Depends..”

“Well, that’s my ex boyfriend,” DMA said matter of factly. Curt was staring, horrified. Judging by the fact that Sergio had grabbed a knife, he wasn’t going to be shying away.

“Well,” Sergio replied, grinning. “Kiss me so he can see.”