Calm Heart
09/24/19
So... on Sunday I got a message from my Squishy that surprised me. Not in a bad way or anything, but in a he-doesn't-do-that kind of way.
He sent me a message saying that he appreciates me and that the idea just came to him of me being his best friend and being what his other best friend used to be for him. Before I could even say, he told me he wasn't replacing him with me, and I'm happy about that. Because the people you love can never be replaced. He said that he doesn't feel guilty for what happened to his best friend and it just happened for a reason and it wasn't his fault. He said he chose me as his go to person and I'm there for him and do so much for him just like his best friend had and that no one can replace me.
I have to say that I'm happy.
I'm happy that he feels that way because I've always been afraid of people leaving me and him saying that adds a bit more foundation to the trust he's been unconsciously building for me. I'm glad he has someone to go to for anything.
And the thing that I'm happiest about? He doesn't know, but all this month I was praying to God, and maybe even his best friend, and asking them to help him understand that what happened wasn't his fault. I asked them to watch over him and not to feel as hurt as he has been feeling. Every night I asked for it and I asked them both. I asked his best friend to keep a close eye on him and make sure he was okay.
I don't know if this was them helping my Squishy out, but if it was I have to thank them from the bottom of my heart, because he should never have felt guilty and all of that hurt and burden should never have been his to carry. So yes, I am so very thankful to God and his best friend for what they did for him. And I very much hope that his best friend is there to see all of his good times and I hope he's there to bring some kind of comfort to him during all of the bad times, because I can be there for him always, but a little bit of help from above is very much appreciated.
