. So, I decided to participate in the “HOW HARD HAVE YOU BEEN SODOMIZED BY LIFE OVER 10 YEARS.” ~ or something... . I’ll be honest, I came... . ...to enjoy a few of its “sessions”. (See what I did there?😈) . I learned how to take it all in; to roll with it. Sometimes, I’d dress up - something nice and slutty. Place lit candles around the room; some cocoa butter the skin, and a spritz of Life’s favorite cologne, with a couple beers waiting in the fridge. . There were times when I’d have fresh cookies waiting on the counter - warm, chewy, and freshly baked cookies. . Whenever I noticed that Life was losing its edge, I LOVED pressing Life’s buttons, “Life, lookin’ a little cold, today. Need some pills for that?” . Instead of screaming, “Life! Oh, Life! Oh my Life!!!”, I’d be like, “You’re a little off, Life. You doing okay?”, or “Yesterday, was FIRE! You nearly fisted me into paralysis. Today, it’s like you’re not really here. You alright, baby doll? *sigh*” . Be like, “Yo! Life, do you need a break, or a hug, or something?Should I call your mom to come pick you up? I’d rather ENJOY a hentai jerk-session, than waste my time here.” . Once, while Life turned my asshole into pulled pork, I strapped my iPhone to my ankles, and totally ignored Life. I watched a GoT marathon of season 4 and 5 on my phone that weekend! . The best is when you put on a look of disappointment, stare right into Life’s eyes and say, “There’s someone else, isn’t there?” . This pic is, literally, what Life has done to me in the last 10 years. Do I have any complaints? Just two; (1) this relationship seems to be a one way thing. Will I ever get a piece of ass from life? (2) One of these meds is makin’ me flaccid, which means, if I ever have the chance to f*ck Life, we can only cuddle and make blanket angels in bed.🤔 . #igy6 #laugh #bendoverhereitcomesagain #bohica #life #howharddidaginghityouchallenge #hhdahyc #2019 #2009vs2019 #motrin800 #drinkwater #dd214 #imaveteran #disgruntleddocs #dysfunctionalveteran #navydoc #corpsman #drinkinbros #greenside #changeyoursocks #veteransknow #CBD #kratom #fatmyselfhappy #itsnotgayifilikeit #ijuggledlifesballs #lifesabitchbutsheshot https://www.instagram.com/doc_frio/p/BsoJiVcAGaa/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12qlo75pat03
