#disabledteens

I’m imagining you and I meeting face to face. You, a very skinny, very shy 15 year old, awkwardly rolling up to a more developed, short haired, warm faced me. I imagine you’d be extremely tongue tied and I’d do most of the talking. At this stage in your life you are pretty hopeless. You think that because you have a very visible physical disability you will never fit in. Never find a place that accepts you as the person you know you are inside but struggle to show because you feel so isolated by your peers. The first thing I’d tell you is that currently, as I sit here writing this letter, our disability is the least of my worries. It gets in the way every now and again but in a way you have made it to a point where in the most important aspects of life it doesn’t matter anymore. 

Your worries now, (my worries) are extremely ordinary. I need to find a job and an apartment. Sounds like fun right? I know though that it’s probably music to your eyes that I haven’t written that these things are impossible because you’re in a wheelchair. They are absolutely not. There are so many things that I could describe to you that happen in the next almost decade but I really just want to try and raise your hopes a little bit.

You may not realize it now but creating relationships with people whether it be in love, friendship or just connecting with a stranger, is one of the most important driving forces in you. Right now you feel like you can’t connect with people on any level, but I’m here to tell you it gets better. You’re going to move on and meet more amazing people than you can even imagine. You’re going to meet people who show you it’s ok to be yourself and who love you for being the person you already know you are. I know you won’t be able to now but I could not write this letter without strongly suggesting that you try harder than I did to let that person out. You have even felt the difference on good days of how people receive you when you let your personality shine. I know though that it’s going to take experiences and those special people I was talking about to bring it fully out.

One last thing before I leave you is your attitude toward disability. You’ve always been pretty accepting of yourself and your own disability but its your attitude towards the community that you don’t even know is out there yet that I’d like you to consider changing. You almost have a fear of other disabilities. Your reaction towards them is very similar to the negative reactions that you loathe so much from other people towards you. I do not blame myself or anyone even to this day for the way you view disability at the point in your life your at right now. It’s a direct cause of lack of exposure, you don’t know any better and no one has pushed you towards any other view point. You must know though that the disability community is going to become a huge positive aspect of your life. As of right now, every single one of my close friends lives with a disability and you’ll never question it. Also, you owe you’re entire social existence after high school to a friend with the same disability as you who was heavily involved in the disability community. So many doors will open up for you once you accept this part of your life fully, and so many of those people will come into your life.

I leave you now with one final thought. You have a lot to learn. Although I do believe you have always been a little ahead when it comes to certain things, there are certain ideas that you have now that will be heavily questioned once you start living life. And believe me when I say, we still have a lot more to learn...good luck.

Love your future self, Kendra