#dirkkarkat

"STRIDER, I'M TRYING TO FUCKING TELL YOU SOMETHI-MMPH" "Shh. Just relax, and check out my sweet sword collection, after our routinely scheduled shoosh-papping. "GODDAMN YOU HUMANS AND YOUR INCORRECT DISPLAY OF ROMANCE. YOU CAN'T JUST DABBLE INTO EVERY QUADRANT, SHITDICK. OR SHOULD I SAY, SHIT"DIRK"?? AHAHAHAHAH!" "That was fucking lovely. I'm so proud of you and your slow dominance over the Prankster's Gambit." "SHUT UP, I KNOW THAT INSULT WAS SHIT." idk here you go

AUTHOR: Panny CAST: Dirk♥/♠Karkat RATING: T WORD COUNT: 1051 ADDITIONAL TAGS: created for rarepair swap treats SUMMARY: This arrangement wasn't something that either of you had planned on, but oddly enough it works. EXCERPT: What gets you the most, though, is that sometimes he’s really good at it. He actually gets people in a way that impresses you despite yourself. Even though he spends most of his time yelling at them and they spend most of their time rolling their eyes back, everyone likes him. More importantly, everyone trusts him. His bravado is so paper thin that nobody ever feels the need to second-guess his intentions. Not that it matters because even when he does well he’s always ready to nitpick over every detail until he finds a crisis. You hate him immediately. rec'd by seralica

AUTHOR: gendersquare CAST: Dirk/Karkat; Lil Hal RATING: Explicit WORD COUNT: 3017 ADDITIONAL TAGS: created for rarepair swap SUMMARY: In which Karkat is just trying to have some good, old-fashioned, dominant/submissive cybersex with Dirk, and Lil Hal won't leave him the fuck alone. EXCERPT: TT: Hello. TT: I know what you and Dirk are up to right now, and I assure you that's not a good enough reason to ignore my message. Quite to the contrary, you'll find the reason I'm contacting you to be highly relevant to the matter at hand. TT: Literally at hand for you, I presume, unlike how it’s merely figuratively for Dirk. You forbid him from touching himself again, didn't you? CG: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BOTHER ME AT THE MOST INCONVENIENT TIMES? AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, THOUGH I’M NOT SURE I WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WATCHING HIM? TT: I’m going to ignore the first question, because it’s both inane and irrelevant to the topic ahead of us. As to the latter, because I can. rec'd by diatorre

AUTHOR: Panny CAST: Dirk/Karkat RATING: T WORD COUNT: 2094 ADDITIONAL TAGS: AU, created for rarepair swap SUMMARY: You're five sweeps old when you make the mistake. At seven point four sweeps you're still hoping it might be the best one you ever made. EXCERPT: TT: What the hell did you do. CG: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? TT: I could ask you the same question. TT: But right now I'm more interested in finding out precisely what you just did. CG: I JUST FINISHED CODING AND EXECUTING A GENIUS PIECE OF PROGRAMMING. CG: THE DETAILS OF WHICH I AM SURE YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING. TT: Jesus Christ. TT: You don't have any idea what just happened do you? CG: OF COURSE I DO. CG: EXACTLY WHAT I INTENDED TO HAPPEN IS WHAT JUST HAPPENED. TT: So you intended to totally fuck up my AI is what you're telling me. rec'd by diatorre

submitted by fadeintocase