#dilf!namjoon

He probably doesn't realize how happy you get when his phone number flashes on your phone. Maybe some of it has something to do with your secret admiration you've for this man, but other than that you're very happy and excited to spend more time with his daughter (and her daddy too).

Over one year, you've gotten so comfortable around them that this doesn't feel like a side-job anymore. You wish you could openly tell Namjoon you don't want money for taking care of his daughter when he can't because he's busy with his job, trying to provide everything for him and mostly for his daughter. You love spending your time with them, he knows that but for some reason, you do feel bad for taking money for it. But it's not something you can just tell him, knowing it's not appropriate even though the two of you have grown closer to each other.

None of you have made a move though. Your dating life has been practically non-existent when the tall blond man with a cute little daughter walked into your life. You couldn't bring yourself to look at another man, knowing you don't get those sparks like you do when you're just having a casual conversation with the thirty year old man.

As far as you know, he's too busy to date someone which settles a slight comfort to your hopeless heart, even though you know it's just a matter of time before someone who catches his eyes will walk into his life.

Not wanting to think about this specific topic, you quickly shake it off before you can get sad when there's a bright day ahead of you. After being invited to tag along Namjoon's getaway weekend (still work related because he has some business here he needs to take care of), you were asked if you could watch over June from time to time which you excitedly agreed to.

Technically, Namjoon is right here and you don't have to be here as a babysitter. But when Namjoon proposed you could look around the town assuring you that “You don't have to be here with us if you'd like to do something different like look around the town or something”, you were more than quick in shutting him up saying; “Beach sounds lovely!”.

So without saying anything, the three of you are spending a day together. It wouldn't be the first time this is happening but it surely never gets old and quite frankly, you can't get enough of it.

“June, baby, wait a minute.” Namjoon gently scolds his daughter who excitedly tries to sneak away from her dad's hands applying more sunscreen to her precious skin.

“I wanna go into the water.” she whines, pouting a little as you snort under your breath as you get an amused grin from Namjoon in return.

“What did we talk about, hm? You didn't have your daytime nap, so we can go to a beach and you promised me you'll be a good girl.”

His voice is gentle and light, but when June glances back at her father with a slight pout still settled on her little lips, she already knows her daddy isn't fooling around and if she wants to get into water, she should behave. Still, her mischievous and innocent eyes at the same time glance at you as if she expects you to say something else, silently asking for help which makes you laugh.

“Don't look at me, you heard your daddy,” you shrug, causing her to pout but she sets her eyes back to the ocean and patiently waits for her father to finish his task. “Junie, you want some water before you go to the ocean?” you ask her, already pulling out her bottle from the basket as she nods.

Namjoon's fond smile and look he gives you goes completely unnoticed by you as you hand his daughter her bottle, smiling when she thanks you cutely as you adjust her bucket hat on her head. She looks so freaking cute in her yellow swimsuit with lemons on it.

When he's done, he warns her not to go yet as she nods and starts playing in the sand near your beach blanket. You're pulling out her inflatable armbands and pool ring for Namjoon to blow up when you notice him standing up. You don't put that much thought into it though, not even when his shadow seems to hover over you for a moment. But once you turn around, you almost gasp at the sight of his honey skin and beach shirt tossed on the blanket as he adjusts his swim trunks.

His big hands and toned stomach makes a heat rush past you and it's definitely not the July weather right now. Suddenly, your mouth runs dry and you panic when Namjoon suddenly looks up and sees you staring at him.

He opens his mouth but you panic, tossing a deflated pool ring towards him as he messily catches it with a surprised look on his face.

“I'll take care of those,” you inform him, lifting up June's armbands so she can finally go into the water. You turn around towards the ocean, focusing on your task instead of Namjoon's light 'Oh okay' and the way he sounds surprised.

Deep down, you're cursing at yourself for acting like an idiot because you panicked when you've seen him shirtless. In your defense, you've never seen him without a shirt and you're not sure if you'll be able to live this day through with him looking like this. It's not fair because he looks freaking hot every time but him wearing only swim trunks… you were just not ready for it.

Busy yourself by blowing up June's armbands, you're both soon done which makes June jump in excitement as Namjoon puts armbands on her. He does scold her a little to hold still because her excitement is making it hard for him to put them on her. While all that happens, you can't fight off the sweet and fond smile you're sporting at the sight of them two, your heart blooming with so much love for them.

“Are you joining us?” Namjoon asks, taking June by her hand as her father's question causes her to rip her eyes away from the water once again as she sets them upon you, looking at you pleadingly.

Smiling at her, you glance at him unsurely. “Who'll look after our things?”

“We'll stay at the shore, we can see our spot from there perfectly.” he answers easily, causing you to nod as you agree, causing June squealing excitedly as her father looks down at her with a grin.

Reaching for the hem of your beach dress, you pull them over your hand and expose your purplish bikini. Namjoon has never seen you in one and you're more than aware he's about to, which makes you slightly nervous under his gaze. You've never really cared what guys think of you and your body, but suddenly knowing Namjoon is close and sees all of this makes you think otherwise.

“Daddy, can we go?” June whines, her patience running low as you glance at both of them, finding Namjoon staring at you as he gulps. His face is red, eyes slightly big as he nervously looks at your face and gives you a nervous chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah. You--you ready?” he asks you, causing you to nod.

“Yeah, let's go.” you say, pride and confidence slowly blooming inside of you. Is he nervous seeing you like this? Was he checking you out? Why is his face so red? Does he find you attractive? You're six years younger than him – would he be interested in someone so younger than him? Even though six years isn't that big of an age gap.

“Yay!” June yells happily, her small hand reaching for you as you take it with a sheepish smile you give Namjoon.

The three of you happily rush to the ocean thanks to June who keeps pulling your and Namjoon's hand. From an outsider's point of view and someone who doesn't know you it totally looks like a family having the best time.

Unfortunately, after an hour being in the water and then quickly grabbing some snacks before coming back, Namjoon got a call he needed to take care of. He's still at the beach but had to walk somewhere quiet so he can take care of a business call that came unexpectedly. He asked if you could look after June, not that he had to ask because you automatically told him it's okay.

After eating a watermelon you prepared for everyone, June has found a friend her age and they both started to play in the sand, apparently trying to build a castle. A typical choice to make out of the sand. The cute boy's mother sits on the opposite side of you, telling you they're also on a family trip and even points to her husband who plays in the water with older kids. You've a casual talk with her, reminding June to drink water every now and then as she cutely plays with the boy.

After a while, you see Namjoon slowly coming into view, although the phone is still attached to his ear, it looks like the call is ending. As if June could see her father approaching your spot where all your stuff is (which she couldn't because she's been too engrossed in building the castle), the kids stop playing saying their castle is finished. You and the boy's mother praise the kids, June hugging your leg as you stand up.

“It was so lovely talking to you,” The woman smiles, taking her son's hand as you smile. “And you're such a cute girl. You've such a nice mom.”

You open your mouth, suddenly surprised by the comment and you go correct her, telling her that you're not June's mother. You don't owe any explanation to her and although moments like these have happened a few times now where people automatically thought you're June's mother, for some reason you're about to correct her. But June's mouth opens quicker as she hugs your leg even closer.

“She's my favorite mommy!” she tells the woman happily, causing her to smile fondly at Namjoon's daughter before they both bid a goodbye. You let out a nervous smile and wave, patting June's head.

“June, baby,” you call out to her, finding her knowing smile and sheepish look she gives you. Even though you can see a little glimpse of her mother, not that you've ever seen her personally, the sheepish grin is a perfect copy of Namjoon's. You'd say June is a mixture of her both parents and since you've never seen her mother, not even in a picture, you can see she's not all Namjoon.

She hums, finger pressing against her lips as you chuckle.

You don't mind her calling you like that, it's not the first time that has happened. Namjoon explained to her many times that she can't call you like that, but just as June is smart, she's also a little stubborn and determined to call you from time to time her mother. You're not going to lie, her referring to you like that makes your ego boost, it's nothing better than to be loved by a kid. You're just not sure if it'd make Namjoon comfortable if he knew she's still doing that. He has a lot on his plate and this isn't that important or something you've to discuss with him. He'd just think you're the one finding it uncomfortable and when you look into June's eyes, how can you snitch on her?

“You've a mommy.” you remind her softly, brushing her fringe off her forehead as her hair is a little bit sweaty from the heat.

You don't really want to mention her mother and you feel like a douche for doing that even though you know June doesn't care that much about her, but still. That woman doesn't deserve to have such a wonderful daughter that June is. But it's true – she has a mom and you're not her.

“But you're my favorite mommy.” The little girl stubbornly justifies, looking a lot like her father right now whenever you've caught him being stressed over work.

She makes your heart melt, especially seeing her being so determined in her opinion about you. You let out a defeated sigh, stretching your hand towards her as she takes it with the brightest dimple smile before you guide her towards her dad who's already sitting on a blanket, watching the two of you with a similar smile his daughter has on her lips.

“Daddy, I made a new friend! And I made a castle!” she informs him, running towards him as he catches her, laughing at his daughter's excitement before he kisses her cheek.

The innocent and small kisses he always gives her during the day makes her completely unbothered, she's so used to it that she barely notices it while she keeps talking about what she has done in his absence. You join there, letting the sun heat over your skin all over again as a nice breeze brushes against your body.

You spend more time there until it's time to go to the beach cabin Namjoon rented for this weekend for the three of you, get ready for the night. June's tired yawns and obvious lack of energy is proof what a good and adventurous day she has had.

Silently shutting the door from June's current room, you find Namjoon sitting on a couch with something in his hands before he hears you coming out of his daughter's room. A small smile frames his lips which you copy, a sheepish grin making its way on your lips knowing June insisted on you telling her a story rather than her dad. The whole scene was actually funny, Namjoon dramatically gasped while his daughter laughed, still insisting she wants you to put her to bed after she had a fun bath time with her dad.

Although Namjoon feigned hurt, he still looked at you in question, silently asking you if you're okay with it. And of course you were. Namjoon took care of empty and dirty dishes while you took care of June.

By the time June has fallen asleep, Namjoon sits comfortably and almost beaten up from the heat of today's day spent on a beach. You mimic his exhaustion when you plop next to him, leaving enough space between your bodies to not make it look inappropriate, even though you silently wish you could get closer to him.

Both of you out of the shower, fully clean from the sand and salted water, you're both still exhausted.

“I might get jealous,” Namjoon says amusingly, glancing at you with a grin as you chuckle, knowing he's talking about you and June's little scene she caused over the dinner time. “She loves you more than her own dad.”

You giggle, throwing your head back a little as Namjoon watches you with a dimpled smile. “That's not true, she loves you very much,” you tell him, watching him respond with a nod and smile because yes, he knows he's very much loved by his daughter. And to be honest, he definitely doesn't mind if she loves you maybe just as much.

He can't possibly imagine you not being in their lives, not just in his daughter's but in his too. Even though you started as a babysitter for his daughter, it was bound for him not to spend as much time with you since your whole cause of being there is to look after his daughter when he can't. But something over the months has changed and your presence has been more required because 'June wants you to come too, if that's alright' but the truth was, he wanted it as much as she did. Maybe even more.

“What's this?”

Interrupting his thoughts, you point at the paper in his hands when you catch a glimpse of something colorful, something that June must've drawn without a doubt.

“Ah, this?” Namjoon chuckles lightly, showing you a drawing, a cute colorful drawing with three people in it. One of them is undoubtedly June and her father that holds her hand. There is sun, sand and water too. But that's not what catches your eyes. It's the third person holding June's other hand too. “It's something she drew while you were taking a shower.”

Even though the drawing of the three years old isn't completely clear, it's pretty much obvious what she drew for her father this time.

“And who's this?” you ask, nibbling on your bottom lip as you point at the woman even though you might know the answer. It's quite obvious and your teasing tone says it all.

“You,” Namjoon doesn't miss a beat to answer, this time glancing at you as your faces grow closer as you were trying to look more properly at the drawing.

He's so close that you can see the texture of his honey skin, the little mole under his bottom lip and his peachy plump lips. He seems to be staring just as much at you, his own eyes dancing across your face to enjoy the view before you gently pull away with a nervous chuckle.

“Seems like you're a part of our family now.” Namjoon tries to joke, but you see how nervous he suddenly got or maybe embarrassed from what happened just seconds ago.

“That's nice to know,” you tease, before you're reminded of what June thinks of you. Namjoon knows that too since it happened more times than just today, but you've never been the first one to bring it up. “She called me her favorite mommy today, when she was playing with the kid in the sand.”

So much for not snitching, sorry June!

Namjoon's brows shoot upwards at the sudden information, his cheeks slightly tinted red for some reason getting second-hand embarrassment because of his daughter.

“Ah, I'm sorry,” he winces, “I talked to her many times about it, I don't know why she refers to you like that. I'll talk to her tomorrow.” He genuinely seems to be sorry which makes you shake your head as you smile at him.

“I actually don't mind it that much,” It's not like you've never said it before, you always assured Namjoon you're fine with it. But it's important if he's fine with it, he's her father after all. “She's just a kid, but I completely understand if that's uncomfortable for you. I mean… I'm not her mother and I'm not trying to replace her real mother or something. I think she is just confused because I spend so much time with her, more than…” you trail off awkwardly, expecting him to look somehow offended or maybe hurt by mentioning his ex.

But you're surprised when you're met with an understanding nod and soft look.

“More than her real mother,” he finishes for you, “And it's not uncomfortable for me. I just don't want her to think you're her mother or put that pressure on you. It's a huge thing and I guess I don't want her to get hurt. I know it's all fun and sweet but when it comes down to reality, you haven't signed up for this, I mean to be called her mother even if it's innocent.”

“Yeah, no, I get that.” you assure him lightly. That's what you thought too.

“We both know there will come a time when you won't be her babysitter anymore,” Namjoon starts carefully, causing you to tense at the mention of you not being her babysitter. You know she's not going to leave your life so soon, but the thought makes you scared and sad. “She'll grow up and eventually, she won't need a babysitter. You'll also find someone, make your own family… you're doing this part-time job while you still have your job.”

You know he's just stating the obvious, but it doesn't go well with you.

“Stop,” you whisper, shamefully staring down at your lap.

“Why? Isn't that the truth though?” Namjoon asks, chuckling but it comes a little bitter and it causes you to look at him, surprised to see him looking not so pleased. You're glad you're not the only one who feels about this this way.

Maybe it's good you've this conversation, the possible mention of your future that doesn't include them, even though you can't imagine it. You've been tiptoeing around each other for months and none of you ever made a move. You know there's something between you two, something more than just him being a father of a kid you babysit. The sweet smiles and conversations you've had speaks for itself.

“I want her to be in my life as long as it's possible,” you tell him, “You too.” you murmur, ignoring the surprised look he gives you.

“You can always visit anytime you want,” he reminds you, “But once you've your own family and different things going on, we both know it won't be as easy. That's just how it is.”

“I don't really like the sound of that.” you admit silently.

“Me neither,” he agrees, “But unfortunately that's the truth. You know you always have our door open, whenever you need it.”

You look at him, sadness written all over your face because this awfully seems like a goodbye even though that's stupid. June is three years old, Namjoon will need your help for a couple more years and he admitted one day he would never want any other babysitter for his daughter. But just the simple conversation about the inevitable future makes your heart beat faster but not in a good way. You realize it's fear and sadness mixed together.

“Joon,” It's very rare for you to call him that. It seems intimate and too personal but there have been times when you called him like that.

The two of you are close, maybe even closer than just friends but without even crossing any line, you're stuck in a weird place.

However, Namjoon smiles at the nickname falling from your lips so sweetly and effortlessly, the similar pronunciation to his daughter's name makes his face even brighter. But he still gives you his undivided attention as he peers at you with those soft brown eyes.

“Don't make it sound as if I'm leaving you any time soon, or ever…”

“I'd like to think you're not,” he smiles at you sadly, “But we've to be realistic here, Y/N.”

“Okay, then let's be realistic and don't pretend as if there's nothing going on between us,” you shamelessly tell him, even though deep down you're freaking out that you're so straight-forward.

Maybe you've read things wrong, maybe you just feel something more for him and you just made a fool out of yourself. But you push that away, continuing.

“And maybe it's me just thinking this, correct me if I'm wrong or if I'm being inappropriate but I can't just sit here and listen to you talking as if I'm leaving--”

“You're not wrong, Y/N,” he murmurs, glancing at his hands that sit on his lap before he sets June's drawing on a coffee table. “You're not being inappropriate because I've felt the same way.”

“Y-you did?” You're shocked.

“I like you Y/N,” he admits, sounding much more stern and serious than ever before which makes your breath hitch. “You're not just my daughter's babysitter, you haven't been for a while now. I'm just an idiot, too scared of getting attached to someone else when the last woman I loved left me, and not just me but my daughter too. It's hard to bring someone else into my life when June is a huge part of it. She's also baggage, it sounds awful but she is.”

“Good thing I love June.” you joke, heart beating as you're still trying to process his confession. So, you weren't stupid. You both obviously feel there's something more between you.

“Just June?” he teases you, cracking a grin causing you to snort.

“Don't be greedy, you told me you like me.”

He laughs, quickly silencing himself not to wake up June sleeping in the other room as you silently giggle.

“I didn't mean to scare you,” he explains, causing you to purse your lips as you nod, making him snort at you. “Maybe it's too soon for confessing endless love, but I really really like you, Y/N. And you having that with someone else scares me.”

“I feel the same way.” you whisper, giving him a smile he quickly returns.

You see him fiddling with his fingers which makes you even more emotional and this time, you're not just sitting there but reaching for his hands instead. The size difference between your hands is almost comical, both your and Namjoon's eyes looking at your hands as you give him a warm smile once again.

“You're not just June's babysitter,” he whispers, squeezing your hands as you feel your heart jump. “You're an incredible woman, Y/N.”

That's it. You're not waiting for anything, no longer just mindlessly wishing to get close to Namjoon and instead, you get past all your insecurities and worries. The first touch of Namjoon's comes as a surprise, his lips are way softer than you could've ever imagined. You both flinch when your lips touch, not because it feels awful or something, quite the opposite actually. You both know you're testing the waters right now, even though you're the first one who took the real and big step by kissing him.

For all you know, he could easily push you away and tell you this is not what he wants. Or maybe you're going too fast with this. He just told you he likes you and you've just kissed him right away.

But once you pull away, your faces stay close to one another and for some reason you slightly panic, about to pull away completely but Namjoon surprises you when he gently grabs your face and pulls you in for another kiss.

“I've been meaning to do that for quite some time.” he tells you in the kiss, causing you to smile but no other words are spoken, not when you're both enjoying each other's lips.

You can already tell you're growing addicted to them.

That night, it's maybe too soon to be invited to Namjoon's bedroom where nothing more serious than innocent kisses have happened, you end up cuddling with him. It's not your fault that you fell asleep pressed against Namjoon's chest.

It's until the morning where the two of you are still sleeping, unfortunately not cuddling anymore because cuddling the entire night is just impossible especially in this heat even during a night time, when you're both awoken by none other than June herself. It's been her morning routine to come see her dad whenever she wakes up first during weekends, but none of you could've thought about that last night.

You and Namjoon stare at each other, not having enough time to appreciate the domestic and morning sight of his rustled hair and puffy face, at least not when his daughter is standing confused in the same room looking at you with curious eyes.

Obviously, she's too young to even think about what could've happened last night and she probably doesn't think about any details. Although, she's still smart enough to know there's something different and you being so close to her dad has something to do with it.

Namjoon stutters over his words, growing slightly red at being caught by his own daughter even though you sleep on the other side of the bed. You just sit there, nervously looking at June who keeps glancing between you and her father with her innocent and curious child eyes.

“Can I call her my favorite mommy now?”

Her question is innocent, not implying anything inappropriate because she's too little but it's safe to say – Namjoon starts choking after that.

It's truly interesting how things can change so much when someone overcomes their fear of getting rejected or admitting their feelings to a certain someone. Someone they've been secretly admiring from the moment they've seen that person to the moment they realized there must be something more than just a simple admiration.

Four years ago, you were that someone who overcame all those things and went for that kiss that is maybe the reason why you're here today. With Namjoon. Who knows. Maybe if you didn't go for that kiss that night, you wouldn't be here today at the very same beach in the same cabin you've been going to every year to celebrate your anniversary. Technically, you started dating a week after the beach trip happened, but it became your thing to celebrate the day you both talked and kissed for the first time.

However, Namjoon gave today's date a new meaning and it's no longer just a day where you both confessed to each other and spent most of the time kissing and cuddling. You'd never in your life expected him to propose to you today. It was supposed to be a casual day where you celebrate this day just the two of you, considering June is spending some time with Namjoon's parents who were more than happy to take care of her. At first it was kind of suspicious how determined they were and now it all makes sense. They knew.

Just a few hours ago, Namjoon proposed to you in the most romantic way. There were no candles and all that romantic crap you see in movies. There was just Namjoon on one knee, holding a shiny ring while you were admiring the sight in front of you of a beautiful sunset.

The beautiful ring is wrapped perfectly around your finger now, hands gripping the sheets while your face is scrunched in pleasure. You're not sure how many times you're in this situation, with your new fiancé proving to you how much he loves you. Now there's a complete new meaning to your sex, both of you panting and close to your edge as you celebrate the news. If the engagement didn't happen today, you know it'd still be just as beautiful and amazing.

Your anniversary always consists of spending time together but it also means a lot of sex which unfortunately, back home is a little bit tricky with seven year old kid under the same roof. Also Namjoon is mostly working, coming back home late and even though that's the only suitable time for you to have sex (if June isn't spending weekend at her grandparents), there are times when the two of you just end up cuddling instead of it leading it to somewhere else.

“Joon,” you whine and moan at the same time, giving him a signal that you're getting there soon as he grunts in return, feeling your walls tightening around him.

His hand goes to your perky breast, squeezing it slightly as you moan even more, silently pleading for more. He knows how sensitive they've been for a while now and Namjoon makes the best out of it.

His length hits your g-spot repeatedly and soon after, you're cumming around it with a loud moan of your fiancé's name. He's following you seconds after, spilling inside of you with the most beautiful moan and grunt combined. Few more kisses and sheepish giggles, he pulls away to clean you up before he joins you in bed. It's too hot to even move, both of you know a cold shower is very much needed but for now, all you need is cuddles.

You lay on your side, Namjoon's sweaty chest pressed against your just as sweaty back, but you don't care. Smiling, you feel his arm sneaking over your waist before he spreads his palm against your swollen belly. It's not too big, but definitely visible now which funnily enough, it makes him even more happier than you.

“Did we wake him up?” he hums, hand caressing your belly as if he's waiting for the baby's response.

“I told you it's her,” you argue with a giggle, feeling Namjoon teasingly bite into your shoulder as you giggle even more. “I can feel it.”

“And I can feel it's a boy,” he argues back, amusement clear in his voice as he cuddles to you and gives your shoulder a peck. “I was right with June.”

“That doesn't mean anything,” You laugh when you hear him dramatically gasp before you put your hand over his as you both caress something your love created. Something unexpected but definitely something that has made you both so happy that you've never really known you needed it until it happened.

To be fair, you both weren't doing much to prevent it though. Still, it was kind of a big surprise nevertheless.

“So what? If it's a girl and I'm right, which of course I am,” You can already see him rolling his eyes behind you but you can hear him chuckle. “What's her name? July?”

Namjoon snorts, squeezing your belly a little as you burst in laughter. “Stop making fun of me.”

“June is a beautiful name, Joonie,” you tell him honestly, a grin still evident in your tone. “We got together in July, I think it'd be cute though. It has a meaning, a huge meaning for our relationship.”

“So our next baby's name is gonna be September?”

Snorting, you poke your elbow into his stomach which he reacts to a laugh, pressing another kiss to your cheek this time. “I'm just joking, love.”

“No, technically it should be August.”