were these actually written by matt himself back in 2001?? these are so funny im giggling

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were these actually written by matt himself back in 2001?? these are so funny im giggling

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Magneto crushes Moira's Xavier dildo
He's understandably upset that Chuck and Moira messed with his DNA after he was turned into a baby (for the second time AFAIK.) Mags heads to Muir Island to 'calmly protest their actions' but nobody's home.
He comes across whatever the fuck this golden thing is and destroys it. He's so angry he doesn't even think about it. Jealousy perhaps? Obviously I have no judgement or shame for what consenting adults do, it's more metatextually baffling and intriguing. What is it meant to be?
What..... what is this ad.....
Jobby willy. Or Chocolate. Found it. Not sure I want it. Thanks to Gerry Farrell and Leith Don't Litter for this gross out.
If y’all don’t STOP
Shouting sexual things to the boys at ii, I’m gonna come to your house and shit directly in your mailbox.

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I forgot I ordered balloons and got nervous for a second