I’m probably a disordered system tbh😭 I’ve been experiencing some. Significant impairment from being a system.
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I’m probably a disordered system tbh😭 I’ve been experiencing some. Significant impairment from being a system.

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I have no idea if this makes sense, but I feel like my emotional/self permanence is lower than most people’s? Like, if I write something down about how I feel about something or anything like that, when I go back to it a while later (sometimes days/weeks, sometimes it’s only a few minutes/hours later) I don’t remember feeling like that. It’s like I’m a different person to the person that wrote it, like I’m reading something written by a stranger. This happens with my emotions as well because I might feel really sad and suicidal but then, like 10 minutes later, I’ll feel nothing and those feelings of sadness seem completely removed from what I’m feeling now so it’s as if I never felt it in the first place? When I’ve sent asks/submissions in to this blog in the past, when I read it back when it’s been answered, it doesn’t feel like I’m the one who sent it in even though I know it was me? I don’t really know if this makes any sense, but I was wondering whether other people feel like this as well? {Please tag A.C.S.}
Hey A.C.S.
I think I understand what you’re saying. It’s likely not to the same extent as yours, but I have felt similar to how you’re describing. It’s like a type of emotional amnesia.
I definitely know you’re not alone in feeling this. I’ve had a few people I know tell me they feel this way. I would strongly encourage you to seek out help from a professional. I can’t tell you exactly what types of disorders, but there are several disorders that some of the symptoms are similar to what you’ve described. Those disorders can get out of hand and become a bit scary, so it’s best to get professional help with what you’re describing. They’re much better equipped to tell you if what you’re experiencing is serious, or if it’s something that isn’t that big of a deal.
But I can relate to what you’re describing. I’ve been keeping a regular journal for the past 10 years and sometimes when I go back and read journals, I can’t relate to it at all because I don’t remember the emotions or events surrounding the entry. Even sometimes with something I’ve written as recently as yesterday, I can’t relate to what is described in the entry and sometimes I straight up do not remember it.
Again, I encourage you to seek out help from a mental health professional. They will be best equipped to tell you how serious what you are facing look.
“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.”
~Mel