been thinking about the concept of moving out, because i just completely moved out (out of my dorm for college) for the first time. there’s something different from simply living somewhere else for a while to fully moving out of somewhere, and im sure people that have actually moved understand this a lot better. but like. that was a place i lived in, a place i made memories in, a place i created things, and struggled over things, and a place i went to at the end of the day to rest. but now? i’m never going to see that place again. that place doesn’t exist anymore. physically, yes, it’s a room on the third floor of a college dormitory, but that specific place, what made that place mine, now only exists in my memory. the shelf of my books, the wires powering my lamp and computer and switch, all the post-it notes and drawings and posters stuck up on the walls, now sit in the basement of my family’s house. of course, there isn’t anything intrinsic to those things that “make” my room, but together they just remind me that that little space for me, truly, mostly me, instead of being built atop what my parents gave me (of course, i treasure that they did give me a room, but that space in my dorm was mine, even for all of its faults)
anyway tl;dr my college dorm was the first space i could truly call “mine,” and after moving out, i’ve realized that it doesn’t exist anymore.
