Diamond

It's the First Day without you.

You're not waiting to be fed or here to greet me in the morning. Your stuff is here but you're not.

It's been a week since you've been gone.

Things aren't the same. I miss seeing you. There's no reason to get up in the morning, nor is there reason to get through the days. I miss you. I keep searching for you in your favorite spots, and I can't find you.

I miss you so much.

I cry before sleeping, wishing I could see you again. I don't dream, and when I wake up, I feel broken that this is my reality now. That you're gone and I'm here and I just have to move on when all I want is to see you again.

It's now a month.

I don't know if things were supposed to change but I still think about you. I cry when I think of you. I cry when I don't. I cry until I can't sleep or I pass out. I cry until my eyes burn.

I force myself downstairs every day. I force myself through every day. I eat but food doesn't have taste. I try to engage in the present but you're not there so everything feels colorless. Life looks uglier the more I have to survive each day without you.

Is that how you felt whenever I left for work or went somewhere without you? Lost, alone, and utterly confused by this new state of being?

I can't stand it if so. I wish I spent more time with you. You're lucky your time away from me was temporary because being away from you and having this be my permanence hurts.

I miss you. I was told to volunteer, keep myself busy, but every distraction doesn't take away from the fact I miss you.

It's now 3 Months.

Every 2nd of each month reminds me I'm doing this without you. Am I okay?

I don't know. My life was centered around you for so long. Caring for you was my purpose and since you've been gone I've been adrift... I try to find happiness and distract myself from the fact you took more than just my heart when you walked the Rainbow Bridge.

Like an end of an era almost. You were there as I grew up. I tried to be there as you grew old. Now you're gone and I'm here and I miss you.

I know it was the right choice to let you go. You were in pain. You were old. You did your job. It all came full circle. But my heart finds new ways to break when I remember you couldn't stay forever or you weren't mine to keep.

I'm going to try however. To try and live again. Maybe one day the bitter taste of being without you will be one I'll get used to or maybe life will stop looking so ugly but for now... I have to try.

It's the First Day without you.

You're not waiting to be fed or here to greet me in the morning. Your stuff is here but you're not.

It's been a week since you've been gone.

Things aren't the same. I miss seeing you. There's no reason to get up in the morning, nor is there reason to get through the days. I miss you. I keep searching for you in your favorite spots, and I can't find you.

I miss you so much.

I cry before sleeping, wishing I could see you again. I don't dream, and when I wake up, I feel broken that this is my reality now. That you're gone and I'm here and I just have to move on when all I want is to see you again.

It's now a month.

I don't know if things were supposed to change but I still think about you. I cry when I think of you. I cry when I don't. I cry until I can't sleep or I pass out. I cry until my eyes burn.

I force myself downstairs every day. I force myself through every day. I eat but food doesn't have taste. I try to engage in the present but you're not there so everything feels colorless. Life looks uglier the more I have to survive each day without you.

Is that how you felt whenever I left for work or went somewhere without you? Lost, alone, and utterly confused by this new state of being?

I can't stand it if so. I wish I spent more time with you. You're lucky your time away from me was temporary because being away from you and having this be my permanence hurts.

I miss you. I was told to volunteer, keep myself busy, but every distraction doesn't take away from the fact I miss you.

It's the First Day without you.

You're not waiting to be fed or here to greet me in the morning. Your stuff is here but you're not.

It's been a week since you've been gone.

Things aren't the same. I miss seeing you. There's no reason to get up in the morning, nor is there reason to get through the days. I miss you. I keep searching for you in your favorite spots, and I can't find you.

I miss you so much.

I cry before sleeping, wishing I could see you again. I don't dream, and when I wake up, I feel broken that this is my reality now. That you're gone and I'm here and I just have to move on when all I want is to see you again.

It's the First Day without you.

You're not waiting to be fed or here to greet me in the morning. Your stuff is here but you're not.