it just feels like she knows a lot but not in the way that is super instagram forward

I have so much to say. So much to fucking say. My emotions have been wild since Sunday for very, very specific reasons. I'm not perfect, I know I'm not perfect, I work hard every single fucking day to be a better person. But if there's one thing I know about myself, it's that I care. I care so damn much. I worried about you, I cried for you, I was there for you. Cut me off, don't talk to me, fine. But to deny that I was there for you? To deny that I cared? To claim that all I ever was was a bitch? No. False. I cared so motherfucking much. I wanted you to succeed in college so much. I gave up TWO friendships because they got between our friendship. I let two people go for you. It's funny. Because I thought I mattered to you. I thought you cared about me, about our friendship. I realize now that you never gave a single fucking shit about me, about our friendship, about my problems. You thought that because you were depressed, you were having trouble, that you had it way worse than anyone and that you deserved all the attention in the world. I needed a friend. And you weren't there for me. Yeah, I'm fucking sad. You and your other friend reminded me that I'm a shitty fucking human being who let too much of the people who raised me invade my personality. But I cared. I cared so much. I cried for you, stayed up late into the night for you. What'd you do for me? You made fun of me for stupid little things about myself that I can't and won't change. You brought me down. You didn't care. You're so fucking cold and it took me so long to see it. I exhausted myself trying to build you up, trying to help you succeed. I considered you my best friend here. While you made fun of me for fucking eating salad. Actually, thank you. Because of you I will be more cautious about who I waste time on. Goodbye for fucking ever.

                                                                David Ananda