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āI grieved you.ā you let out, all your emotions clawing their way out of your body in strained convulsions and shaky breaths.
āI know.ā
He repeats it, several times as he tries to comfort you with his touch. The hand by his chest is still clenched and it takes monumental effort to release the tension and spread out your fingers. You let them travel up past his collarbone, his throat ā taking a pause by his pulse point. You need to feel it with more parts of your body ā until it finally reaches his jaw, his cheek. His skin is still as soft as itās always been, showing no signs of decay.
warnings: spoilers for chapter 247 of the manga, mentions of death and grieving
wordcount: 1.6k
content: angst turns fluff, sfw, hurt/comfort, happy ending, genderneutral reader, bodypositive and poc friendly reader, no use of y/n, canon compliant, not betaād, ive put reader in as a links lover from before he āpassedā and just learning that hes back and alive in the recent chapter so their reunion basically, links makes my brain go brrrr like my freezer after ive taken out an ice cream,
notes: I RUSHED TO WRITE THIS AFTER CHAPTER 247 HELLO?????? DID U SEE ALL LINKS BEAUTIFUL SMILES?!??!?! readerās role isnt described as neither exorcist or science member or nurse so you choose, honestly i cant say much abt this work except that i just wanted to kiss link.,......... <3 and get this scenario out of my beautiful head bcos it has been ROTATING
When Kanda makes the announcement, you immediately latch onto his choice of words, following his eyes to where theyāve trailed to the window.
And there he shows up. The man youāve been grieving for months now.
You freeze and air gets hard to breathe. Itās like thereās no oxygen around you as your throat constricts and lungs burn. What? How?
Allen reacts first, opening the door and looking at him. Howard Linkās pose is incredibly relaxed and a smile you rarely saw appear on his face is so casually planted there that you almost want to drag out your weapon to make sure this isnāt an Akuma or some kind of clever disguise puppeteered by Leverrier.
But Allenās eye doesnāt react. He simply runs to him and you gasp when they almost fall off of the balcony.
You stay behind as they all converge closer to him, your hand still wrapped around the handle of the measly dagger that Tiedoll gave to you when you first joined him going rogue from the Order, āto protect yourself.ā Heād said.
You help Tiedoll prepare the food, anything to not be close to him right now as you try to process that heās there, alive. Youāre not sure he saw you before you sneaked to the kitchen but knowing him and his skills, heās most likely seen you before he even approached on Kandaās behest.
You donāt look at him all through the food and the talk, staying focused on eating and listening to all the information that Allen is giving out. You flinch at the mention of Link being targeted and killed again, tensing up through your entire spine, swallowing your bite thickly and schooling your expression as best as youāre able.
At his confession you audibly gasp and canāt stop your eyes from looking directly at him before itās too late. Youāre overwhelmed by the radiant smile he gives off. Itās like your heart is beating again for the first time since it stopped beating the day he passed away. He catches your gaze immediately, as if waiting for your eyes to finally look at him. You feel heat in your cheeks as he holds it, though you can tell that heās not looking at you anymore, but through you.
He's only pulled back when Allen pinches his nose. You canāt help but laugh ā their antics back to what they used to be. When food is finished, you make Kanda help you clean up. He huffs and puffs but relents in the end, stacking plates and leftovers expertly in his arms. In the kitchen he grunts at you, āI wonāt get involved.ā He states and you look at him with question marks in your eyes, head tilted. He pouts at your obliviousness with furrowed brows, ātalk to the fuckinā dog.ā
Then he leaves you to dry the last dishes he finished washing, the door closing behind him and leaving you alone for the first time since finding out that Link is very much alive and well.
Your hand clenches around the plate in your hands. Youāve seen four new expressions on his face youād never been graced with before in the span of an hour. Your eyes can tell that itās him but your heart wavers. You fear you donāt know the man outside with the face of the man you love.
Ā
When you reemerge back in the living room, a hush falls over them all. Itās so obvious that itās painful and you feel like youāre suffocating. Maybe you are.
Ā Link then gets up from his seat on the floor, dusting off his pants before he clears his throat. He then gathers his courage and looks at you and says your name for the first time. your breath hitches and you can only manage a meekly nod when he nods towards one of the rooms to the sides, his eyes begging for you to go with him and talk.
Allen says something that you donāt catch as you walk in through the door, your hand tracing the door frame before Link closes the door behind you.
None of you say anything for longer than you can count. Your eyes are locked on his chest and how it rises up and down with each breath he takes. Theyāre leveled and controlled, but they confirm that heās alive. Heās really here with oxygen in his lungs and a beating heart. Your hands clench into fists by your side.
His breathing pattern changes, telling you heās about to say something. You bite your underlip and raise your gaze to look directly at him ā he flinches but remains posed. Out of your peripheral vision you see his fist clench and unclench, reaching out towards you before retracting again. He then wills himself to relax and smile at you.
This is the fifth expression youāve never seen on his face. It suits him, but thatās not what youāre focusing on, your eyes locked to the way his lips move, tasting his words before he lets them out in the open.
You canāt take this. Your heart is beating rapidly, your hands and your back is sweaty from the strain of all your emotions and the way you clench your jaw is starting to hurt. In frustration you lift your fist to punch him and as it stands high in the air, you catch his gaze ā his smile widens. That stupid, handsome smile. Your hand collides with his chest in a much slower and gentler pace than what you first intended and you instantly feel his body heat traveling to you and you sigh, biting the inner part of your cheek before your head follows your hand towards him and rests on his chest. A sob is threatening to leave you but you inhale deeply instead.
Not many moments pass before he wraps his arms around you, his head resting on the crown of your head. Without embarrassment he noses your head and breathes in your scent, hugging you tighter to him. He seems to relax much more now that youāre touching him.
Youāre not. Your spine is locked and youāre rigid in his embrace, refusing to take in the scent of him, the feel of him. He died.
The sob thatās been lodged in your throat since you saw him on the balcony finally breaks free and all the muscles that youād tensed up spasm before they relax. He coos at you and rubs gentle circles into the small of your back.
You move your head from his chest and towards his neck, your lips ghosting over his pulse point. Youāre so close that you can feel it beating against your lips and the first tear roll down your cheek, wetting your lips. If he feels the wetness on his skin, he doesnāt say anything.
You whimper softly before you finally push yourself closer to him, your lips pressing into his skin, arms wrapping around him, clenching his shirt as if your life depended on it.
āI grieved you.ā you let out, all your emotions clawing their way out of your body in strained convulsions and shaky breaths.
āI know.ā
He repeats it, several times as he tries to comfort you with his touch. The hand by his chest is still clenched and it takes monumental effort to release the tension and spread out your fingers. You let them travel up past his collarbone, his throat ā taking a pause by his pulse point. You need to feel it with more parts of your body ā until it finally reaches his jaw, his cheek. His skin is still as soft as itās always been, showing no signs of decay. Theyāre warm, like the rest of him. Heās always been a furnace. He pulls his head away from the top of yours and finally, finally locks his lips with yours.
Your breath hitches at the moment of contact and you stand frozen, eyes still open to be sure heās real and doing this. His own eyes are closed and his brow is relaxed. The kiss is featherlight, like heās unsure if heās allowed this touch. You close your eyes and relax as much as youāre able. Itās only when you push further into him that he redoubles his efforts and pulls you impossibly closer, a whine escaping his throat as he continues to kiss you.
Heās here, heās alive and heās kissing you like itās the only thing heās been thinking of since he came back from the dead. You chance a look at him again and see how his brows has furrowed. Heās frustrated he canāt be closer to you than this right now and you canāt help the laugh that bubbles from deep within you, a place youād thought had withered and rotted. Happiness blooms in you as his hands travel up to caress your cheeks.
This is the Howard Link that you knew, you know this now.
Itās just Howard Link without the chains binding him, the one able to express his wants more clearly than when he was shackled and controlled by another will than his own. This is the man that you love, finally able to do what he wants, to love who he wants without the heavy weight of guilt looming over every kiss, every chance meeting at the library, every cake secretly baked with you in mind.
Howard Link feels freer to make his own choices than heās ever been, and heās choosing to side with you. You smile into his lips before you run your hand through his hair, messing with his braid. He pulls away and with a breathless chuckle says your name. You hands travel to his nape with a warm smile, "welcome back."
Okay, time to rant. I just have a lot of things on my mind at the moment, and I need to let some of it out. If you care about D-Gray Man as much as I do, and specifically if you care about Kanda Yuu as much as I do, you will understand how much angst Iām feeling right now. (After all, Kandaās story is intended to fill anyone to the brim with sadness, angst, love, and more angst) But yea, you get what I mean. I just think about him a lot, and in the process of reading (too much) blogs and theories about him I just. Canāt. Take it. When people talk about him as if heās a guilty party. Like. Seriously. I know he was a douchebag (he still is) and he stabbed Allen and he killed without mercy and he didnāt know how to be sweet and sentimental and he didnāt tell anyone about Allenās first signs of awakening and everything but. Seriously. People think Allen did not deserve all the suffering heās going through, and Alma did nothing wrong, and yet they are convinced that Kanda is guilty? Like seriously?
Kanda did not deserve any of the horrible things that happened to him. He DID NOT. Getting resurrected from the dead even though he had already died fighting for the good of humanity? Having the love of his life resurrected and taken away from him? Being lied to about who he was, being lied about how he had lived before as a HUMAN BEING, and how he had been turned into a half-baked fighting machine, half-human-half-monster of a disaster? Having to cut down his only friend so he could live on and find the shadow of his past that was the only proof of how he once knew loved, how he was once human? Having to face his only friend and destroy him AGAIN because that was the only thing an exorcist could do to save an AKUMA? Being manipulated by the Earl and the Noah to bring out the worst in Allen, against his own will? Being bitten by the guilt of hurting someone important to him, so much so that he couldnāt allow himself to rest in peace, AGAIN?
Kanda Yuu knows pain all too well. Heās probably one of the people who knows it best, besides Cross Marian and Nea D.Campbell. These are the people who have suffered endless sorrow, and who have had to make extremely painful decisions, one after another, to keep moving forward. Iām surprised Hoshino didnāt make more connections between these characters (Cross and Nea most likely have more canon interactions and comparisons). But yea. If Allen had to keep telling himself to move forward, Kanda Yuu must certainly did, too. He had done it so many times, it had become a drill. Every time it seems like itās better for him to die and lay everything to rest, he gets back up, refusing to let himself die. And yes, it would have been better for him to die a long time ago. He should have died on that treatment table when those scientists tried to euthanize him. He should have died along with Alma when Alma tried to take the world down to hell with him. He should have died when Skinn Bolic burnt him with lightning. He should have died when he had to fight Alma AGAIN, years later after he was meant to kill him. He could have died and everything would have been easier. Yet, he chose to move forward. Every time. Despite the pain. Despite the guilt of leaving behind what he loved the most. Despite the self-hatred eating away at him from the inside. He made the painful decision of moving forward, and itās all the more painful when you realize all heād been doing before this point was living in the shadow of his past, more accurately in the shadow of the one he loved the most in a life that was over long, long ago.
Even now, after Kanda had found that love, and LOST it at the same time, he should have just ended it all and lay to rest, since his one reason to live, the one reason he refused to let himself die and kept moving, was now gone. And yet, he chose to move forward, AGAIN. This time, he set aside his own sorrow, and put himself in Deathās grasp to help Allen, someone important to him whom he felt he OWED. What Allen did for Kanda and Alma meant A LOT to Kanda. He was finally able to reconcile with the best friend he ever had, whom he had to destroy. He was finally able to find āthat personā, that special someone who was the sole reason he kept on living. He was finally able to somewhat break away from the past, and once again live as himself and not a shadow of his past. What Allen did for him meant more to Kanda than Allen realized, and thatās something that hurts me a lot. Itās really sweet, and if you know Kanda from the start of the series, it is really painful to see him being so sweet. Kanda, who had managed to suppress most of his emotions, trying his best not to care about anyone as he was busy trying to bury his broken heart, Kanda who hated himself for destroying what he loved the most, and who did not even think of himself as a human capable of love or worthy of being loved, was extremely vulnerable and emotional. He was willing to go to hell in order to save Allen, because what Allen did meant the world to him, and helping Allen was more important than allowing himself to rest.
I get uneasy every time someone says that Kanda came back to āatoneā for his ābehaviorā, to ārepay Allenās kindnessā, or he āunderstands that he was wrongā. Sure, thatās what Kanda himself says, and what Link inferred from him being protective towards Allen. But I canāt for the life of me agree with that.
Kanda Yuu owes NOTHING to ANYONE. Yea, thatās the angsty me talking right there. He meant no harm to Allen, or anyone else who had no reason to mess with him. It is stated clearly that he just wanted to walk straight down his own path (a lot like Allen), and he simply set himself in a clear space. He was never the sweetest or kindest (not openly anyway), but he respected peopleās space, too. He let Lenalee find comfort in his silence when she needed it the most. He would never poke around or disturb other people. He would fight, when he feels that it is necessary, or when he needs a form of stress relief (also, he fights when people get annoying around him, like Allen and Lavi). He also didnāt care much who or what he was fighting, if it was necessary to do so (he didnāt care if Skinn Bolic was a Noah or an Akuma, or anything for that matter, all he wanted to do was cut him down). Except in battle, Kanda Yuu didnāt mean harm to ANYONE. And yet, his space kept getting violated. He was brought back from the dead to become a demon fighting machine. Only ended up becoming a demon himself. God, he made a monster of himself when he cut down Alma, and he knew that. That was thrown upon him, he was driven into a corner to die or live on, and he decided to live. For nine years he lived on as an empty shell, a monster, a barely human. And even that was not enough. His āpeaceā was disrupted yet again, when the Noah revealed to him that Alma, whom he had to destroy, had lived all along, sustained by the Order to become the breeding ground for yet another kind of half human-half monster. And YET, that too, was not the worst thing. He was driven into a corner again, to try and destroy Alma one more time (I mean, given the fact that Alma had been turned into an AKUMA, what other choice did he have?). And in the midst of that, Kanda, sinking deeper and deeper into that sorrow, lost his clear head and was basically set up to stab Allen.
So Kanda, never meaning real harm to anyone, only taking action when his peace was violated or when he had to fight to defend himself and his comrades, was set up to stab Allen. Mind you, even if Kanda was always outwardly hostile towards Allen, he never wanted to hurt him. He was absolutely devastated to realize he had harmed Allen. That just proved how meaningful their relationship had become, despite the fact that other people (or even Kanda and Allen themselves) didnāt see it that way.
I believe Allen doesnāt believe that Kanda owes him a thing. I have said this many times before, I believe Allen was so moved by Kanda and Almaās pain partially because he himself felt it, and he understood it. He experienced first hand all the sorrow Kanda had been through, and he understood why Kanda made the decision to live on, and why Alma did what he did. He stepped in to wake Kanda up from the nightmare, because he knew that was the right thing to do. He put himself in danger to give Kanda and Alma what little peace there is left, because he knew that was the least anyone could do for them, and the least they deserved. Allen knew both Kanda and Alma deserved better, and knowing Allen, he wasnāt hesitant to put himself in danger to give them the least that anyone could give them.
So now, Kanda came back - after being given that little bit of peace, after finally reconciling with Alma, being able to see Alma off, being the last person to hold Alma before he passed on, basically fulfilling his reason to exist - returned to Allenās side. I believe he returned for the same reason that Allen sacrificed himself to give Kanda that little bit of peace. He returned because he knew Allen deserved better. He returned because seeing Allen suffer was painful, the same way Allen broke down after seeing what Kanda and Alma had to go through. He returned because he understood Allenās pain, and knew he was suffering alone, the same way Kanda had suffered alone and the same way Alma had buried his sorrow so long ago. He returned to give Allen the least that anyone could give him: peace. He knew Allen deserved at least that much, and he wanted to do whatever possible in his own power to give him that. He knew he was going to die, possibly even before fulfilling his purpose, but he moved on anyway.
I absolutely adore Kanda and Allen, both as individual characters and especially as two players in a relationship (I donāt mean romantically). So when people imply that Allen helped Kanda out of his own kindness and Kanda just wanted to atone for his sin, I want to blow up a house. Kanda Yuu OWES NO ONE NOTHING. Even Allen knows that. Even Johnny knows that. Even Lenalee and Marie knows that, too. The only person blaming Kanda for Allenās state is himself. And he doesnāt want to save Allen out of just guilt. Heās not just looking to repay a debt, or to clean himself of a sin heās committed. Itās not like heās just waiting to kill the beansprout, so that his work is done, and he can finally die in peace. Thatās an extremely selfish thing to say about Kanda. Kanda wants to help Allen, and not just him, he wants to help everyone around Allen who can give him the strength and support that he can never give him. He wants the beansprout to have someone by his side to support him always, even if that person cannot be Kanda. Thatās the most selfless thing Iāve ever seen, and it hurts to see Kanda like this, but it makes me admire him even more than before. Kandaās actions are so selfless, so brave, that it is impossible for other people to understand. Lenalee and Marie didnāt understand, Johnny burst into tears the moment he understood, and Allen himself couldnāt comprehend why Kanda would do such a thing. Thatās the kind of impact Kanda has. And sure, this selflessness was inspired by Allen, but Kanda himself deserves the credit too. His heart is still a pure one, no matter how I look at it. He just finally found it in him to let it show a bit more.
Allen paced in the hallway, the sound of his boots clicking against the tile echoed out across the empty wing. Lenalee and Lavi had left only a few moments ago and despite their urges for him to go with them, have something to eat and get some rest, Allen refused. He couldnāt muster an appetite and the mere notion of sleep was impossible right now.
Your mission had gone smoothly according to the report but after you and your team of Finders boarded the train back to the Order, everything had gone awry. Allen could still remember the panic that erupted among the branch as Komui received the golemsā distress signal, he ran to and fro sending reinforcements and medic teams through the Arch to the Orderās safehouse nearest the attack.
The train you were on had been ambushed by a swarm of Level 2 and 3 Akuma who laid waste to the passengers and derailed the train in the conflict. Reports said that two of the Finders in your team had yet to be found in the wreckage and the remaining three were in critical condition. You had been gravely injured yet still you managed pulling them from the remains if the train. Allen shivered, remembering the sight of your battered limp body being brought to the Head Nurse, āWait outside Walker! Youāll only be in the way!ā He could see the worry laced in her features but still there was a hidden tenderness in her words as she pushed him towards the door, āBe patient child, (Y/n) is in good hands. Iāll have someone fetch you when weāre done. Go get some rest.ā
Allen obeyed and waited patiently but there was no way he could relax and so he opted to stay just outside the door. Timcampy nestled into his hair, whether the golden golem was trying to comfort him or was just tired from following him has he paced back and forth was a mystery. And finally Allen halted his pacing and slumped against the wall, sliding down to the floor, his arms wrapped around his knees while he waited.
It seemed nearly a lifetime before the door clicked and swung open, several nurses and the head surgeon slipped out with bloodied gowns and bandages. Allenās eyes widened at the sight, there was so much of it that his chest grew tighter as he prepared for the worst. His mind racing with what he couldnāt bare to be told, that you were gone, that no matter how hard they tried the bleeding wouldnāt stop, and that he had never had the chance to say goodbye.
Those few seconds of panic felt like an eternity and Allen hopped to his feet when the Head Nurse stepped out and pulled the surgical mask down under her chin. Allen desperately searched her eyes for any sign of hope, āHead nurse! Is (Y/n)..! Is (Y/n) okayā?ā She interrupted him with a small wave and the suffocating tightness in his chest begin to ease when her eyes crinkled with a relieved smile, her voice tinted with humor, āWalker.. I thought I told you to get some rest,ā She sighed and shook her head. Of course he hadnāt, after all Allen Walker was one of her most stubborn patients in the Order, second only to Yuu. She placed a gentle hand on the boyās shoulder and signaled him inside. ā(Y/n) will be fine. Theyāre stable and resting now, though (Y/n) will be bedridden for the next month or so. There was a lot of shrapnel from the wreck to remove and they received a direct hit from a Level 3ā²s attack, but thankfully (Y/n) is a parasite-type such as yourself.ā The nurse led him towards your bed and for a second he froze at the sight of you.
Covered in bandages and IVs trailing from your arms, yet the expression on your face was oddly peaceful. Allen swallowed hard and stepped closer to take your hand in his, slumping into the chair at your beside. The Head Nurse hovered for a moment, checking the drip and adjusting the bed before slipping out of the room.
Outside it the sky grew darker and rain started to pound against the window as Allen sat there in silence, his thumb rubbing gently over the back of your bandaged hand. All he wanted was to hear your voice, to see your smile and bright eyes looking back at him but he would have to wait. āIām so sorry (Y/n), I should have been thereā¦ Iām so sorry.ā
Allen stayed there at your bedside for the rest of the night and at some point the exhaustion of waiting through the surgery took hold and he slipped into a dreamless sleep. The Head Nurse came to check up on the two of you throughout the night and laid a blanket over Allenās shoulders and left without a word.
ā¦
The next morning, you shifted slightly and winced as your body responded with sharp aches and unusual heaviness. The last thing you remembered was the smell of ash and fire before you fell into unconsciousness. You blinked your eyes open to see light filtering in softly from the window at your bedside. You were back at the Order, yet had no memory of how you got there. Looking down at yourself you see the bandages and IVs running from your arms, but the sight that draws your attention is the messy stark white hair and the fingers laced gently between yours. You smile and with your other hand, you softly pet his head, watching the slow rise and fall of Allenās shoulders as he slept.
From across the room the Head Nurse craned her neck to see you sitting up and she walked over with a soft smile, āAh, our dear (Y/n) as awakened. How do you feel dear, though please try not to move around too much, youāll have to stay here for while Iām afraid.ā She spoke in a whisper and nodded to Allenās sleeping form, āHeās been with you all nightā¦ only just fell asleep a while ago.ā She tilted her head and turned away, āIāll go speak to Jeryy about fixing you something easy to eat, Iām glad youāre alright my dear.ā She left the room and you listened to her footsteps grow fainter as you nestled back against the pillows, your gaze still trained on Allen. As much as you wanted to wake him, you decided against it and resolved to let him sleep a while longer, after all the two of you would have plenty of time to talk once he had gotten some much needed rest.
Hey there! May I request #11 of the tragic quotes for Lavi?
Ā°`šØ: D.Gray-Man x GN! Reader
Ā°`šØ: Observing LaviĀ
Ā°`šØ: Prompt 11 -Ā ā There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. ā
Your work as a finder was mainly related to securing the Innocent and gathering information so that the exorcists could successfully carry out their mission. You were lucky enough to accompany Bookman and his apprentice several times, which is why you became friends with Lavi, if you even could call it a friendship. The exorcist was very nice but also a bit childish, but if you looked closely at his face, you could see that his smile never reached his eye. As if the emotions he showed were not real, but only a play while his face was the stage. When you first noticed it, you couldn't take your eyes off him. Everyone was aware that Bookman and his apprentice were only here to document the history of the time, which is why feelings are out of place for them. But you could see it clearly. Lavi longed to show those feelings openly and tell every single story that bothered him.
Ever since you had this discovery, you couldn't help but watch him when you had the chance. It usually started in the canteen. You looked up from your food when you heard a familiar voice. Your gaze usually focused on his face, which is why you usually forget to continue eating. Your eyes followed every movement that took place in his face. Startled, your eyes widened when his gaze turned to you. Caught off guard, you turned your face back to your food as you feel the warmth in your ears. Embarrassed, you put your hand on one ear so no one would see how red it got. You feel his gaze rest on you for a moment before he probably turns back to the others.
The next situation happens during the next mission. The exorcists were sitting in their compartment while you stood next to the door as the finder. Somewhat bored, you rocked back and forth on your heels, in your mind sorting Lavi's various facial expressions into specific feelings. You frowned as your lips pursed slightly. The young man was a great mystery to you, but unfortunately he isn't an open book you could read with a glance. You sighed, but you knew it was a good sign for his future as a bookman that you couldn't see through him. But you knew very well that he was carrying a lot of untold stories that he had to handle on his own.
Your job as a finder now seemed much easier than before, but you still knew that you could be replaced faster than he could. After all, finders aren't there to stand up against Akuma. You shake your head as it slowly began to hurt from the whole thinking you did. Life in the present time was far too complicated for you to be able to find answers. While he is carrying the burden of having to keep everything to himself, you had to be ready to look death in the eye at any moment. A tragic turn of your observation.
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Ā°`šØ: I looked up tragic book quotes and now i will use them to write something with a similar/same meaning or mood ! ovo9
Ā°`šØ: For requesting: Number of the quote and the character i should write for !
Ā°`šØ: Writing only for Demon Slayer, Bungo Stray Dogs and D.Gray-Man !
Ā°`šØ: REQUESTS ARE OPEN ! 2/15
Ā°` 1. I know so many last words. But i will never know hers/his.
Ā°` 2. You know, a heart can be broken, but it keeps on beating, just the same.
Ā°` 3. Forgive me, for all the things i did but mostly for the ones that i did not.
Ā°` 4. But maybe thatās the way of life ā¦ To understand things only after theyād passed. Only once it was too late.
Ā°` 5. The weight of what has been lost is always heavier than what remains.
Ā°` 6. Her/His pen had a heart inside, and the nib was a wound in a vein. She/He stained the page with herself/himself.
Ā°` 7. I want to talk to her/him. I want to have lunch with her/him. I want her/him to give me a book she/he just read and loved. She/He is my phantom limb, and I just canāt believe Iām here without her/him.
Ā°` 8. Now you seeā¦ why it is useless to cry. Your tears do not wash away your sorrows. They feed someone else's joy. And that is why you must learn to swallow your own tears.
Ā°` 9. Donāt ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.
Ā°` 10. The heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves until one day there are none. No hopes. Nothing remains.
Ā°` 11. There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
Ā°` 12. Iām lonely. And Iām lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic.
Ā°` 13. I hid my deepest feelings so well I forgot where I placed them.
Ā°` 14. People think being alone makes you lonely, but I donāt think thatās true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.
Ā°` 15. The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.
