#dgas

I might seem silly for writing this but I don't care... There was a youtuber, (one of my favorites) I watched alot of while making my own game lesaria, (both to watch to keep me sane while working on my game as well as learning how to make my game better) named Ronnie Oni Edwards and his show "digressing and sidequesting" which was a show on game design, and I feel like my life and game is better for his show and his sharp logical wit, he felt like a very sassy mix of Mr. Spock and Robert Williams while looking like a hippie. And his analysis of game design helped me sharpen my game. today we all learned that 2 weeks ago he lost his battle with depression and is no longer with us. I know I might seem quite silly for crying over losing a voice that was on the internet but He was a voice that helped me keep on going with making my game. and so I'm quite devastated by the news. And I didn't even know about his battle behind the scenes, and hearing about it now I feel it parallels mine. as someone that has been/is depressed and has tried to leave this world, Him being able to still make his videos and keep on going untell the very end despite his demons trying to make him leave means a lot to me because I know how that feels. and every day I try to keep making my game, my music my cosplay despite feeling worthless or broken, and I have hit points where I was about or tried to leave because the demons were winning and I felt the best thing I could do is leave... By me talking it atm it shows that you can make it out and survive, And my Ronnie not being able to talk anymore it shows that you can also lose the battle... I want to ask some of the people he worked with if its ok if I put an "IN memory of Ronnie" or an NPC of him or something in my games somewhere, Because of how much his work meant to me as a game dev and as a person...It breaks my heart that I will never get to meet him and never tell or show him what in my game was his ideas or influences. Rest In Peace, my favorite theorist.