#dfa

“At least your cravings are more normal this time” he muttered as he walked away. 

“How’s JJ?” Bucky asked. 

“He’s good, first day back at school today which he was pretty excited about, he loves seeing his friends” You smiled as you relaxed back in your chair, resting your hands on your bump. 

Steve returned with your drink and snacks, you glanced over at his drink curious as to what coffee he’d gone for, hoping to get a sniff of caffeine “Tea, in this together remember” he said as he sat down “How have you guys been?” he asked turning his attention to Sam and Bucky. 

“Good, mostly uneventful” Sam started. 

You listened to what they’d been up to while snacking on your food, your little sweetpea clearly happy with the treats too as she kicked away. 

“You back to work?” Sam asked you. 

“Kinda, I don’t have any classes this year because of this little one,” you said pointing to your bump “and I’ll be going on maternity in a couple of weeks”

“Yeah we’re both taking leave when Y/N reaches 35 weeks just in case this one is like her older brother” Steve chuckled but you frowned over at him.

“Both?” you asked arching a brow, since this was news to you.

Steve took a long sip of his tea before answering “Yeah” he started as he wiped his lips “I cleared it with my boss that I can take early paternity leave”

“But why? We agreed I’d take leave at 35 weeks but you’d take it once she actually arrived” you reminded him. 

“I changed my mind, I didn’t like the idea of working when you went into labour again,” Steve told you with a casual shrug of his shoulders. 

You groaned and pinched the bridge of your nose “Steve, seriously? You didn’t think to talk to me about this?” you huffed.

“Should we step away for a bit?” Sam interjected pointing over his shoulder. 

“No this won’t take long” you said holding out your hands, not looking away from Steve “Why did you do this Steve? Why didn’t you talk to me about it”

“Because I wanted to be with you from the beginning this time! What if she’s early and I’m at work?” he argued. 

“Our OBGYN has been monitoring for that, she says I’m showing no signs of early labour and it was probably a miscalculation with JJ or the stress of being on the run!” you reminded him “Plus you work at the gallery now, you won’t be far away”

“I know but I want to be home with you!” Steve argued shaking his head. 

“But you don’t need to be!” you huffed.

“Guys back me up here” Steve said turning to Sam and Bucky who had been watching like it was a tennis match but now looked like deer in headlights. 

“Uh,” Sam muttered looking away, the basic decor of the coffee shop more interesting. 

“I um see both sides” Bucky offered hesitantly. 

“C’mon pal” Steve sighed. 

“Look we were both there last time remember, I get why you want to be there” Sam said leaning forward “but you were on a different continent last time and still got there in time, you work in the same state now if something happens while you’re working you won’t miss a thing”

“You might be overthinking this one Steve” Bucky said gently “and it was so stupid to agree to this without talking to Y/N” he huffed shaking his head in disbelief. 

“Thank you buck,” you said as Steve sighed “Look Steve I get it” You started turning as much as you could to face him “But honestly I was looking forward for it to be just me and JJ for a few weeks before our little sweetpea comes along” you explained “I’m not going to be able to spend much time with him and I don’t want him to feel forgotten”

Steve sighed and nodded his head “That makes sense, that was kinda my thinking too but with you”

“Okay, why don’t we compromise then? How about 38 weeks?” you offered “That way I have 3 weeks with JJ and you and I have 2 weeks if everything goes to plan and this one doesn’t arrive early. 

“That works, I’m sorry for not discussing this with you” he apologised. 

“It's okay, you’re just lucky we got our treats before we found out” you smirked making him laugh. 

“God I thought we were all gonna become icicles then” Sam muttered under his breath. 

As it turned out it didn’t really matter when Steve took his paternity leave. 36 weeks rolled around and there was nothing, then 38 and still no movement. You felt pretty confident that your sweetpea was going to arrive perfectly on time. Except 40 weeks came and went, and then 41. 

As much as you enjoyed the extra time you were having with JJ and Steve and you knew they you would eventually miss being pregnant. You were miserable. You were so large and uncomfortable and you were desperate to finally meet your little girl. 

You forced a brave face around JJ, his empathetic skills were top level and you didn’t want him to worry about. Steve could tell you were struggling though as he tried to take things off your hands, which sometimes backfired because you also didn’t want to be babied. Your mind felt like a minefield.

You had tried everything that your OBGYN suggested, bouncy balls, spicy food, sex, but nothing was working so they booked you in for an induction when you hit 42 weeks. 

The night before your induction you made sure you put JJ to bed since this was his last night as an only child and you wanted to be the one to do so before you became busy with his sister. 

You found it surprisingly emotional to say goodnight to him, you managed to hold back your tears though until you walked into your bedroom and sat yourself down on the bed. Steve who was in the bathroom instantly rushed over to you when he saw your tears.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Is it happening?” he asked cupping your cheeks.

You shook your head “No I’m just so tired and putting JJ to bed was more emotional than I thought and I know I should be excited that she’ll be here tomorrow but I wanted her to be here already” you pouted. 

“I know princess,” Steve said soothingly “These past weeks have been really tough on you, you’ve been so strong to get through them” 

“I just don’t get it, part of me thought she might come a little early like JJ or perfectly on time because she’s your kid,” you said earning a snort of laughter from Steve “But late? I just don’t get it”

Steve sighed as he moved to sit beside you, his arm looping around you as you rested your head on his shoulder “I wish I had the answers sweetheart” he rubbed your back soothingly, the aches you’d been feeling lessening with his touch “I would make a FRIENDs joke but I don’t think you’d appreciate that” 

You let out a watery chuckle “You would be correct” 

Steve gave you a soft smile before kissing the top of your head “Look let's get some rest, tonight is going to be our last night of uninterrupted sleep for a while so let's make the most of it and all of the uncomfortable and unpleasant feelings will be gone tomorrow and we’ll have our little sweetpea” he told you.

“You’re forgetting the excruciating part that is the actual labour” you pointed out. 

“Okay but you were incredible last time and you’ll be incredible this time, you can break my hand and cause a heatwave in the middle of October” Steve smirked earning another small chuckle from you.

“Thanks Stevie, I know I’ve been a bit of a monster recently” you apologised.

Steve shrugged “It's okay, I better get used to you two girls teaming up on me” he smirked “C’mon let’s get you ready for bed”

You weren’t sure exactly how long you’d been asleep, only a couple of hours at least, but you woke to a sudden cramping sensation followed by liquid seeping between your legs. You immediately knew what was happening.

“Steve wake up” you prodded him as you pushed yourself up into a sitting position.

Steve was up like a shot, almost like he’d been zapped with electricity especially with his hair stuck up in all directions “What? What’s happening? What’s wrong?” he asked quickly.

“My water’s just broke,” you told him, wincing as a contraction hit.

“Shit, right okay” he muttered running his hands through his hair which just made it even more wild “Let me call the hospital” he grabbed his phone from the nightstand, squinting when the bright light lit up his face.

“Okay I’m gonna get changed” you said as you pushed yourself out of bed. 

You grabbed the gown you had been planning on wearing at the hospital from the bag and waddled your way into the bathroom to change. 

When you walked back out Steve was just ending the call with the hospital “They said to come straight in” he told you as he grabbed a pair of sweatpants and pulled them on. 

“But Bucky and Sam aren’t supposed to be here until the morning” you pointed out. 

“I know I’ll call them from the car in the meantime I’m gonna run around to Tanya and ask her to come over and watch JJ until they can get here” Steve pulled on his jumper, initially the wrong way around before fixing it. 

“Okay, I’ll get the bags and meet you in the car” you nodded. 

The reality of what was happening suddenly sunk in, you were about to have your little girl. A smile grew on both your and Steve’s faces.

“Guess she takes after her mother” he smirked as you made your way downstairs, earning a confused look from you since you weren’t the kind of person to be late “She likes to do things on her own terms”

You scowled at him “Thin ice rogers”

Steve visibly gulped “Noted”

Once Tanya was in your house ready for if JJ woke before Sam or Bucky got there, you made your way to the hospital. You called Bucky and Sam on the way, both sounded groggy when they picked up but once you said you were in labour and heading to the hospital they both woke up pretty quickly. You didn’t think Tanya would be hanging around long. 

Soon after arriving at the hospital, you were taken to your room ready to settle down, your OBGYN coming in to check on you.

“Well looks like someone likes to work to their own schedule” she smiled as she walked in to examine you “Let's see where you are… okay you are at 7cm already”

“7 already? It took forever with JJ!” you exclaimed in shock.

“It's usually quicker the second time around, only a few hours, and the actual pushing part is shorter too” she explained as she stood back up “Do you know what position you want to use?”

“Uh yeah on all fours, I read the second can be bigger so I’m hoping gravity helps” you said, wincing when a contraction hit.

“Okay, not a problem, I’ll check back on you soon, get some rest and call if you get the urge” she nodded.

Once she was gone Steve turned to look at you “How come you were nice to her when she said the same as me?”

“Because she’s the doctor, I need her and her drugs on my side” you stated.

Steve nodded “Fair enough, do you need anything?” he asked.

You pouted “Rub my back? It kills”

“Sure thing princess” he smiled softly as he stepped closer. 

He offered you one hand to hold while the other rubbed your back, focusing on your lower back where the pain was.

Just like your OBGYN said it didn’t take long at all for your little sweetpea to be in your arms.

“She looks just like you, so beautiful,” Steve said softly, tears in his eyes as he looked down at the little girl in your arms. 

“I can’t believe she’s finally here” you sniffled as you brushed the top of her head gently, smiling as she shifted in your arms. 

“You did incredible princess just like I said you would” Steve smiled as he kissed the top of your head “You should get some rest, you look exhausted”

“Not yet, I wanna hold her a little longer” you yawned, shaking your head. 

“Okay, shift over then” he said before moving to rest beside you, one arm around your shoulder, the other resting underneath yours which held your little girl. 

You tried to stay awake for as long as possible, not wanting to take your eyes off of your sweetpea, but eventually you couldn’t fight it any longer. You felt Steve lift the little girl out of your arms as you drifted off. 

You woke a couple of hours later and saw Steve sitting in the chair beside you, his shirt off as he held the little girl so she was resting against his bare chest. You could see the love in his eyes as plain as day as he looked down at the little girl, you knew he was going to spoil her rotten. Steve was so distracted that he didn’t even notice you were awake and had taken a photo of the two of them until you reached out to put your phone back down.

“Hey, feeling better?” he asked softly. 

You nodded, a warm smile on your face as you looked back at him. It reminded you of when JJ was born and how little he’d been. 

“I’ve let Sam and Bucky know that she’s here and you’re both doing okay” Steve told you. 

“Is JJ okay?” you asked with a small yawn as you sat up. 

“Still asleep since it's pretty early still” Steve said nodding to the clock which said it was only 6 am. 

“Gosh, I thought it was later” you muttered, time didn’t seem to exist when having a baby. 

“Yeah, I suggested that they brought JJ over at midday so you could get some more rest” he told you.

“Good idea, I can’t wait for him to meet her though” You smiled, the thought alone was absolutely adorable. 

“Me neither, he’s going to be such an amazing big brother” Steve smiled softly. 

By the time midday had rolled around both you and Steve felt more rested and were frankly itching for JJ to get here and meet his little sister. 

You were holding her when finally there was a knock at the door and three heads popped in, the sight made you chuckle. 

“Hey, how are you?” Sam asked as they walked in. 

“I see no cremated plants so I’d say pretty well” Bucky smirked. 

“They’ve already taken the plant that she caused to burst out of its pot out of here” Steve answered making Bucky laugh. 

“Hey Bean” you smiled turning your attention to JJ who was holding himself back “wanna come meet your little sister?”

“Can I?” he asked bouncing slightly on his feet, like he was struggling to hold back the excitement. 

“We said he couldn’t come running straight in and had to be careful” Sam explained quietly to Steve. 

“Of course sweetheart,” you said to JJ patting the space next to you on the bed.

Steve helped lift JJ up onto the bed, the boy’s eyes widening in awe when he saw the little girl for the first time. 

“She’s so tiny” he muttered in amazement “She looked bigger in your belly” he added making everyone chuckle.

“She felt bigger then too” you smiled “Do you want to know her name?”

JJ nodded excitedly “Yes please” 

“Okay JJ this is Natalia Freya Rogers,” you said introducing him to her.

“Like Auntie NatNat?” JJ asked his brows furrowed slightly.

“Yes, NatNat meant so much to us that we decided to name your sister after her” Steve explained, his throat thick with emotion. 

“And you can call her Talia, it’s her nickname like how yours is JJ,” you told him. 

“It's really pretty” JJ smiled. 

“Where does Freya come from?” Sam asked as he smiled over at the three of you. 

“It's an English variation of Frigga” You explained. 

“That’s your mommy” JJ pointed out. 

“That’s right bean, like how your middle name is Daddy’s Dad, Talia’s middle name is my mom’s” you explained to him before looking over at Steve with a warm smile “Steve suggested it,” You had burst into tears when he suggested it and it was only partly due to the hormones. 

“Can I hold her?” JJ asked. 

“Of course, just hold your arms out like this” Steve said demonstrating how to hold his arms so he could cradle Talia. 

“We need to be very gentle remember, and she’s heavy so I’ll help hold her” you said as you carefully shifted Talia into his arms, making sure her head was still supported.

JJ giggled as she squirmed slightly at the movement before settling down once more. You smiled softly before glancing over at Steve who was taking a quick photo with tears in his eyes. 

“Congrats man, she’s adorable” Bucky smiled, patting Steve on the shoulder.

“Thanks, and thank you for coming in the middle of the night” Steve said to the both of them.

“It's nothing, we’ll do it again for the next one” Sam smirked.

A smile tugged at the corner of Steve’s lips, he glanced over to you with a silent question on his face. You nodded with a smile of your own. 

“Well we wouldn’t expect anything less from their godfathers” Steve said.

Sam blinked a couple of times before realisation dawned on his face “Nah man, really?” he said in disbelief. 

“Really, we’d love for you to be Talia’s godfather” you smiled. 

Sam smiled and shook his head “You two are gonna make me cry” he said making you chuckle.

“Welcome to the godfather club” Bucky laughed as he clapped Sam on the shoulders. 

The first couple of weeks as a family of 4, 5 if you included Scout which of course you did, had been incredible. You had been a bit nervous about finding your feet and a new schedule but it was like riding a bike. You and Steve found your rhythm easily and you could see that Steve was far more confident this time around. 

It was Halloween and for the day you had decided to go out to a local farm which was holding a fall fair. You had Talia strapped to your chest, her pumpkin beanie on which looked adorable. 

You watched as Steve and JJ scoured through the pumpkin field to find the perfect pumpkin to carve. Steve had suggested a few but none had been perfect enough for JJ. JJ definitely had an artistic vision in mind and was not willing to compromise for it.

Eventually, he had found one that was perfect and Steve lifted into the wheelbarrow which already contained the ones you and him had picked up for yourselves. JJ rushed back over to you and took your hand to lead you back to the barn. You glanced over your shoulder you smiled at Steve who was pushing the wheelbarrow.

“I picked out a pretty one for Talia too,” JJ told you as you walked back to the barn.

“That’s really sweet of you Bean, are you gonna help carve it?” you asked him. 

“Yeah, do you think she’ll like a cat on it?” JJ asked as he looked up at you, trying to peak at Talia. 

“I think she would really like that JJ, what are you going to do?” you smiled as Talia shifted slightly, snuggling further into you. 

“It’s a secret, only me and daddy know” JJ grinned up at you, he then paused and let out a dramatic gasp “What if Scout hates the cat pumpkin?”

You chuckled softly and squeezed his hand reassuringly “I’m sure Scout will be perfectly fine with a pumpkin cat, he’s a smart puppy”

JJ tilted his head as he thought before nodding his head “Yeah you’re right, I taught him to high-five yesterday” JJ grinned. 

“And now he’s the coolest dog at the dog park” you smirked. 

Back in the barn you got some hot drinks and got some food, you and Steve shared a pumpkin pie while JJ had a caramel apple. JJ sat beside you and kept smiling over to Talia who was sat on your lap, her eyes darting around the barn at all the different colours. 

Once you got back from the fair you fed Talia and put her down for a nap before joining the boys to carve the pumpkins. You had only been gone for 30 minutes tops and the kitchen island looked like a pumpkin explosion, both boys had pumpkin seeds and guts over them.

“We had a bit of a food fight” Steve explained with a sheepish smile when you arched a brow in question. 

“Well as long as it doesn’t become a regular thing” you said as you pulled a bit of pumpkin out of Steve’s hair and a seed from his beard. 

You sat down next to JJ who gave you a sideward glance and turned his pumpkin so you couldn’t see his creation until he was ready to show it off. You chuckled to yourself as you got your own tools and made a start on your own pumpkin. 

Once you were all done you carried the out to the front porch, you and Steve had both gone for a traditional design. Talia’s which JJ had helped with was a cute little cat face and JJ had carved out Mike from Monsters Inc. His was definitely the best out of all of them. 

It wasn’t much later that Sam and Bucky rocked up in their costumes, which were both Dogs costumes, one red and one grey. They both agreed to take JJ trick or treating for you so you and Steve had an evening alone together while Talia slept. JJ bounced down the stairs when they turned up in his blue dog costume, completing the trio as Bluey. 

“You guys look great” Steve chuckled as the three of them posed for photos. 

“Only the best for my godson” Bucky grinned as he ruffled JJ’s hair, knocking his dog ears slightly to the side. 

“You guys have fun and don’t stay out too late, or eat too much candy while you’re out” you reminded them as you walked them to the door.

“Sure,” Sam said with a conspiratory wink and a tap to his nose “C’mon little man” he held out his hand to JJ.

“You two have fun, but not too much fun” Bucky winked earning an eye roll from Steve. 

“Trust me we don’t have to worry about that for another month” Steve said you two walked them out, earning a slap on the chest from you.

“Disgusting” Bucky groaned “That is not what I meant at all”

“Have fun, we’ll see you pups later” you smiled waving goodbye. 

Once they were gone you and Steve collapsed on the couch together “So what kind of fun do you want to get up to? You do heal quicker than the average person” he asked with a smirk. 

“As much as I’d like to I think I need another couple weeks,” you said “and honestly I just want to curl up on the couch with you, eat some candy and watch a cosy movie”

Steve smiled softly over at you “Done princess” he said wrapping his arm around you and pulling you into his embrace. 

At that exact moment, the baby monitor came to life and you could hear the cries of Talia making both you and Steve sighed heavily “I’ve got it” Steve murmured, kissing the top of your head. 

A few minutes later Steve reappeared holding Talia who was snoozing away with her head on his shoulder “She wouldn’t stay down in her bassinet” Steve explained quietly as he sat back down on the couch.

“She’s already got you wrapped around her little finger” You smiled rubbing her back softly, smiling when she let out a yawn and nuzzled further into Steve’s neck. 

“Yeah” Steve sighed not even bothering to deny it “I didn’t realise how much I missed this age, even if the sleepless nights are hard”

“Me too, we’ll just have to savour it for now until we decide to have another” you agreed with a small smirk. 

Steve’s eyes widened “Really? So soon?” he asked.

You shook your head “Gods no” you scoffed, as much as you liked being pregnant and part of you already missed it, getting pregnant so soon after giving birth was not what you wanted “Let's wait until she’s at nursery at least, a 2-year gap seems like a good one”

Steve smiled “Yeah that sounds like a good plan, now c’mere I want to cuddle with my girls” he said holding his arm out for you to snuggle up.

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Masterlist / Masterlist

Stickydisc was a low-key operation of Broucek’s (MySpace) design. The lore is limited, and there were but three official releases: STDs 001, 002 and 003, each 12" vinyl singles. But as this compilation shows, the work he and Wiley — whose name might be familiar to fans of pre-cake-throwing Dim Mak (he was in Automato) or New York nü-disco devotees (Jessica 6) — did in their brief time together over the space of two years need not be cluttered with narrative.

Broucek rode mostly solo for the first two releases — and, it turns out, one additional track previously unreleased of comparable quality called “Enough” that serves as the closer for this comp — as Babytalk. The first of which was seven-minute “Keep on Move,” a spartan italo number with the title sung on repeat under deep echo. This kind of cosmic lo-fi approach was a through-line for these songs, with production operating at a restrained register that could just as easily have been from 1978 as from 2008. On the flip was an exploratory remix courtesy Six-Leg Friend, who was likely also Broucek given the moniker has never featured anywhere else and Eric’s the only name credited on the vinyl; its contrast with the original mix recalls the “Crass” and “Pretentious” versions of LCD’s “Yeah” 12” from a few years before. Following “Keep on Move” was “Chance,” which was probably the highest-profile release of the three given it featured a Hercules and Love Affair remix right when Andy Butler was breaking through as the big name of DFA’s second wave. The original mix features some additional keys from Wiley, which makes me wonder if that’s why the B2 is a Babytalk remix of … Babytalk. For his own part, Butler adds more depth to the percussion and foregrounds the vocals; you won’t be surprised to (re)learn it sounds like one of those early Hercules singles.

Broucek and Wiley teamed up in earnest as Watussi for what turned out to be Stickydisc’s final release. “Purple Moon” runs on squelching and swirling synth lines with increasingly clear vocals here, and though James Murphy isn’t credited, that sure sounds like him in the same way that he was instantly recognizable in Shit Robot’s “Triumph.” Wiley turns in a dub mix for the compilation that’s also new. But the real reason you’re reading this review is the second song on that double a-side: “If All We Had Was Love” has been stuck in my head since I first discovered it as an mp3 on the dearly departed 20jazzfunkgreats blog. That mp3 was of such low quality that the song’s piano line was buried in the mix; Bob Weston’s remaster brings it up to match Carter Yasutake’s glorious trumpet. The deadpan vocals from which this compilation gets its title burst to life as the song swells to its peak, then descends just as gently. There was also some accidental magic in that mp3’s low quality because I misheard the title’s rejoinder for years: Instead of “If all we had was love / then that would be enough,” it’s actually “then I would give you up” — the complete opposite meaning. Either way, it remains one of the great underheralded dance tracks of this century.

DFA’s anthological effort comes on the back of James Murphy rediscovering the Stickydiscs’ power in recent live DJ sets, but the truth is that these songs’ potency has always been stealthy, just a little under the radar, not immediately eye-raising. They do, however, remain tracks to be savored, repeat listens rewarding more and more with some new detail emerging or a core earworm lodging in your brain indefinitely. The chance to do so, if you’ll excuse the pun, has never been better.