#deterweek2k19

Derek’s eyes were blue again, like his own, but couldn’t help but feel there was still potential there. Certainly more than the newly christened “True Alpha.” They didn’t see eye to eye on the matter but he’d hoped his sister might’ve been able to impart a bit of wisdom in her son when he sunk her claws into the back of his neck.

He also hoped his nephew had the sense not to mention what they did in the dark. Born werewolves having laxer taboos than humans didn’t change the fact that his sister had always been an interfering judgmental pain in his ass.

It was particularly important as he and Derek had spent quite a lot of time getting reacquainted with each other after dropping Cora off and he had no desire to stop. There was a lot less fighting this time around other than petty tit for tat arguments.

In fact, with the one exception of Stiles getting possessed (one of the few people he and Derek both considered to be as good as pack), things were going quite decently as far as he was concerned.

At least until that bitch came back and kidnapped his nephew.

He knew within hours of it happening and worked behind the scenes to get him back. It was infuriating to watch the “True Alpha” bumble his way through everything and claim all the credit but he’d get his comeuppance eventually. He’d make sure of it.

Getting Derek back to his proper age and losing $117 million of his savings in one go was a frustrating experience. He’d saved that specific amount in reference to Derek’s birthday. Sue him for being sentimental when he was younger.

Well, for what money he had left in his other accounts anyway.

Derek was in a touchy mood and it made it clear with a snarl. And yellow eyes. Yellow.

He was back to his normal age but his powers were fading.

They fucked to take the edge off their frustrations but were left uneasy.

He didn’t like giving out more of their funds to mercenaries when he’d just been robbed by one. Especially when could do a better job than Braeden at tracking Kate and wheedling inside information from her. It had been part of his role in the pack before but Derek insisted they have extra help.

He grudgingly let Derek have a couple weeks with Braeden to “train” to protect himself without his powers. If it kept him her on their side and helped his nephew get over Kate, then fine. But if she hurt him she’d go the same way as the others.

He did not take kindly to those that hurt his pack.

Everything in his world froze when Derek was stabbed by a berserker. He longed to stay by his nephew and lover’s side. Derek was insistent and Peter knew they couldn’t speak freely in front of the others. He reluctantly turned away to “help” Scott.

With Derek dying there wasn’t much to hold him back when his plan to force to Scott kill Kate went awry. He would teach the brat the necessity of killing to protect your pack from threats even if it meant becoming that threat himself.

Coming back from the dead worked the first time when he tested Derek. Who’s to say he couldn’t pull it off again?

He woke up in a cell in Eichen.

Not the afterlife but given who he was stuck with this wasn’t much better.

He did find out that Derek had survived too. Not that he’d saved him from this prison or come to visit as far as he knew. Maybe Derek thought he deserved it for working with Kate? He hadn’t told anyone he was double crossing her but he thought Derek would’ve known. Would’ve seen through to his motives.

Maybe he did deserve being here anyway. He couldn’t argue that he’d done quite enough damage already.

Months passed. More than six at the very least. Maybe nine? He couldn’t tell as they blurred together but finally, finally he saw an opportunity and took it.

To hell with McCall and his ragtag pack. They didn’t deserve his protection.

He fully intended to leave and find Derek, wherever he had got to. But then…

It was like being snapped out of a daydream as Stiles woke him and it took a few moments to clear his mind of the stifling fog of compliance that permeated the area.

Forgotten.

The Wild Hunt.

As dire as the situation was, it was a relief to know his nephew was away and safe from being taken by the ghost riders. More than that, he swelled with pride when Stiles said Derek had left almost immediately after Mexico to hunt down Kate before the trail went cold. He’d taught him well.

He only wished Derek had taken him along.

More than once he thought he saw Derek out of the corner of his eye. It was only someone who looked like Derek but he still checked every time.

Derek probably didn’t know he’d ever existed.

The only chance at fixing this was with Stiles’s friends recognizing something was wrong, to force them to remember. He could not hide that the prospect of what it would take to get out of this liminal space terrified him.

Although, taking a token of Stiles’ might protect him from being outright disintegrated as well as helping the others remember. There was no doubt, not after seeing Stiles get cell service in the middle of nowhere, that the boy’s powers had awoken.

Being burned alive was just as agonizing as it had been the first two times.

The bedside manner of the nurse tending to him could also use improvement.

But with the Hunt diverted and Stiles returned within short order, he turned to keeping his ear to the ground for news of Derek.

It wasn’t exactly difficult, not when the main topic in the supernatural gossip chain was a werewolf with the rare ability to transform into a real wolf tracking down a hunter who had decimated dozens of families.

What did take a bit of work was finding out that the FBI was looking for Derek thanks to Kate pinning the murders on him. His informant was able to pull a few strings and arrange an extraction plan in the event that Derek did fall into their hands.

Several months later they were having their own hunter problems in Beacon Hills. Some sort of fear monster was loose and Gerard was taking full advantage of the situation to recruit a sizable chunk of the town.

Predictably, Scott was resistant to even the most basic and least violent ways of neutralizing the hunters. According to the “True Alpha,” locking up werewolves for thinking he wasn’t an effective leader was fine but not humans who were actively committing genocide against the supernatural.

And on top of that they blew up his rare, and very expensive, Shelby 1000 Cobra Mustang. At least he had a spare given Malia hadn’t been interested. How she could be a Hale and not like muscle cars was beyond him. Derek certainly knew how to appreciate a good muscle car.

Speaking of his nephew, he showed up with Stiles just in time for the big fight. They had contradictory stories of how they got away from the FBI and neither story was completely true. No doubt he’d be hearing about whatever it was they got up to for the next few weeks. At the same time he couldn’t say he really minded.

He did mind the level of friendliness Derek was showing Scott. It didn’t ring as truthful though he suspected none of the others sensed it. He knew his nephew too well not to know something was up and filed that interesting bit of info away to revisit later. They had more immediate concerns.

Facing Anuk-ite was not pleasant. The less said about the experience, the better.

On the other hand, breaking out of a stone shell to beat up a hunter was a very nice highlight. Finding that Kate and Gerard had finished each other was also quite satisfying even if he hadn’t been able to get in his own parting shots.He didn’t hang around and chased down a few more hunters before they could all get away.

The others were still inside doing who knows what when Derek joined him outside in the shadows, leaning into his space. He could tell Anuke-ite had left its mark on him as well and pulled Derek into an embrace, leaning their foreheads together. Aside from generally being nice, it helped settle their nerves. Proof they were still here and with each other.

Derek kissed him but without the usual fiery passion. Instead of the fight-and-fuck they had started with, it was tender and slow. It held meaning that he wasn’t prepared to voice yet.

There was plenty that they needed to discuss with Monroe and her hunters on the loose, the lack of true leadership from the “True Alpha,” and most importantly about their relationship. They needed to talk, really talk, about the issues between them if they were going to take this further.

But it could all wait until morning. Right now there wasn’t anything more he wanted than to curl up with Derek and sleep.

“Okay?” Peter unsurely said, but he looked about as unhappy as Derek felt and Derek scooted to the other end of the couch.

“I’ve been on a date because you’ve been on a date and you didn’t even tell me. I had to find out from Laura,” Derek complained.

“Oh, darling,” Peter sighed. “It was pack-related. I didn’t go on a date, per se, we talked business all evening.”

Derek pressed his lips together, because he hadn’t known that. And if he had asked Peter before this, then maybe he wouldn’t be in this situation right now.

“You should have said,” Derek muttered, and Peter nodded his agreement.

“Yes, I should have,” he admitted. “Now tell me what the problem is.”

“It’s—she’s older,” Derek said lowly and Peter’s eyes briefly flashed blue.

“How much older, Derek?” he asked, a warning tone to his voice and Derek made himself small on the couch.

“She’s my substitute teacher,” he pressed out and startled when Peter started to growl.

“I know I made a mistake—,” Derek started, but Peter cut him off almost immediately.

“It’s her who made the mistake. She should know better,” he hissed and then visibly reigned his temper in. “But I’m guessing that is not really the problem.”

“No, it’s—I said yes to a date with her, because she was funny in class, and she clearly wanted to take me out and I was hurt because you—,” Derek shrugged before he went on, “but now she won’t stop. She’s cornering me every chance she gets and she’s insinuating that if nothing sexual happens soon she’s going to make my life hell, and I just don’t know what to do. Laura is no help, she said I should be glad someone wants me at all, and that it’s strange enough that I don’t want to sleep with her since Kate is apparently ‘hot like burning’ but I don’t want to and she is not a fan of no.” Derek took a deep breath after his rant, before he dared to look back at Peter.

“Is she forcing you?” Peter demanded to know, and Derek winced.

“Not yet? But I’m thinking it won’t be long before that and I just—I don’t want to meet with her anymore, but I don’t know how to stop either. She’s gonna spin it around, make it look like it’s my fault.”

“Derek, come here,” Peter said softly, extending his hand and patiently waiting until Derek took it, before he pulled him onto his lap, where Derek immediately curled up small.

He always felt best when Peter held him like this.

“Sweetheart, what she’s doing is coercion at best, because you’re still underage. At worst, it’s statutory rape,” Peter explained, tightening his grip on Derek when he flinched at that. “There’s no way she can spin it around and make you look like the bad guy, I promise you that. And I’m going to make sure it doesn’t come to either of this,” Peter promised.

“I don’t want to go to school anymore,” Derek whispered and hid his face in Peter’s neck.

“Okay,” Peter easily agreed. “We’ll make sure she’s gone before you go back.”

~*~*~

It was a big scandal. Derek’s name was kept out of it, so all the school knew was that Kate Argent had gone after one of her underage students. Normally that would only mean one year in prison for her, but Peter wasn’t a lawyer and left hand for nothing.

He had tracked Kate’s path through the country, contacted schools and families, and later on the FBI, because as it turned out, this wasn’t the first time Kate had tried something like this. And her ploy usually ended in the gruesome death of whole families.

Derek was horrified by that, felt even dirtier than before, because if he had let this go on, they all would have died.

Instead, it was Kate who died. By the end of the trial she was accused of more than thirty murders, leading to the death penalty. Derek couldn’t say that he minded much.

When everything was said and done, Kate locked away for good before she would meet her end, Derek was back in Peter’s office.

“You did it,” Derek said, and Peter almost looked affronted.

“She was going to hurt you. Of course I did it.”

Derek blushed at that, ducking his head to hide it, but going by the fond huff Peter let out, he noticed.

“I would do anything for you, pup, you have to know that.”

“I do,” Derek said immediately, because he did. He never doubted that, not even for a second.

He stood up from the couch where he had been sitting and walked over to Peter’s chair, but instead of curling up on his lap like he had all those months before he straddled Peter’s lap.

“Derek,” Peter said warningly, but his hands also came up, sliding under Derek’s shirt and splaying possessively over the small of his back.

“I love you,” Derek whispered, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Peter’s lips.

Peter allowed it for a second, before he regretfully pulled away.

“Sweetheart,” he muttered, his thumb rubbing over Derek’s skin. “We just put someone away on statutory rape charges. Someone my age. I don’t think this is the best idea.”

Derek nodded, because he knew that. But he still needed to know.

“But, eventually, right? This is just you saying ‘not yet’?”

“Of course, darling,” Peter reassured him. “Believe me, I have plans for when you turn eighteen. But not yet.”

“But you can tell me, right?”

“That I can do,” Peter said with a soft smile. “I love you,” he told Derek, leaning up to drag his nose against Derek’s cheek, scent marking him that way.

“That’s enough,” Derek declared and turned sideways, curling up on Peter’s lap again.

And even though he had a bit of a growth spurt these last few weeks, he still fit perfectly into Peter’s arms.

John had also seen how Derek deflated, looking crestfallen when he didn’t find Peter waiting for him but instead one of his other family members. Peter always showed up for whatever game or school activity Derek had, too, and Derek always noticed him, puffed up and doubled his efforts for Peter.

And then this morning; Peter and Derek had been out for breakfast at the same place John went to get his fries-fix. He had only spared them a quick glance, because anything longer had made him feel uncomfortable. It was clearly a private moment, Derek beaming and looking as happy as John had ever seen him and Peter had such a smitten look on his face that John had almost blushed.

John had seen abusers, had seen abused spouses and kids and partners, and their interactions looked nothing like what Peter and Derek had.

But Talia had made an accusation that needed to be checked out and John would damn well do his job.

“I need you to fill out this incident report and then we’ll have to do some questioning,” John told her, and he could instantly tell that Talia was not happy with that.

“He’s abusing a minor, John! You need to get him away from Derek.”

“We both know that it’s not quite as easy as that,” John reassuringly told her and pushed the report closer to her. “Fill this out, and I’ll personally question them.”

“I don’t want you anywhere near Derek,” she immediately snapped out and John narrowed his eyes at her.

“That’s not how this works, Talia,” John warningly said. “If you’re going to fill out this report, you better accept that I’m going to do my goddamn job and that includes questioning Derek as well.”

Talia stared at him, her anger no longer behind the mask, but John couldn’t care less. It was a serious accusation what Talia was telling him here, and John would make sure that he got to the bottom of this. And if Talia didn’t like it, she better walked away now.

“Fine,” she hissed out and stormed out, sheet of paper clutched tightly in her hands.

~*~*~

“Why am I here, Sheriff?” Peter asked, aiming for nonchalant, but John could see the tightness around his eyes.

“Your sister has brought up some serious accusations and I’m just trying to understand what’s happening here.”

“What are the accusations?” Peter asked though going by the way his whole face briefly fell, he already knew that Talia had brought up.

“She says you’re abusing Derek,” John told him, and Peter briefly clenched his teeth together.

“I love him, John. And he loves me, too. He wanted to tell Talia, so we did, and she freaked out. She screamed bloody murder and she’s trying to keep me away from him.”

“Not quite successfully,” John said with a small smile. When Peter just frowned at him John elaborated. “I saw you every morning in the diner, since she came here.”

“Ah,” Peter nodded. “Talia wasn’t home, and Derek can be very convincing.”

“I think you’re just weak for the boy,” John gave back, and Peter shrugged.

“He has me wrapped around his finger,” Peter admitted, and he would need to be a goddamn great actor to fake that soft and adoring look on his face.

“Still, I have to ask: did you ever touch Derek in a sexual manner? He is still a minor after all and your nephew on top of that.”

“I didn’t,” Peter immediately gave back. “He’s sixteen, John. I’m not sure he knows what he wants, yet. We cuddle and when he feels bad, he sleeps in my bed, but nothing ever happened. I told him that when he came to me the first time, and I’ll stand by that.”

“I thought so,” John answered. “I see how Derek lights up when he sees you somewhere, how he’s looking at you.”

“Then why the hell am I here?” Peter snapped out.

“Because Talia made a serious accusation, and I need to do my job. I’m questioning Derek next, just so you know. Talia is with him already, and I bet she’s gonna try and barge in.”

“She will,” Peter confidently said and got up. “I can’t say this was a pleasant meeting, John.”

“Same,” John said. “How about we meet for a more pleasant experience tomorrow at the diner for lunch?”

“Only if you tell Talia to fuck off, later,” Peter replied, losing some of the tension around his eyes.

“I’ll do my best,” John said with a wink and escorted Peter out.

Talia was sitting with Derek in his office, waiting for their turn, and Talia’s face immediately hardened when her eyes fell on Peter. She slung her arm around Derek, pulling him close and obviously not noticing how Derek’s eyes followed Peter everywhere, how his face softened just a little bit when Peter had stepped out of the interrogation room.

Peter ignored Talia completely, but he sent a reassuring smile at Derek and then shook John’s hand. John was kind of glad that werewolves didn’t have the power to kill with just their looks, because Peter, or himself, would have dropped dead in a second.

“Is it our turn then?” she called across the hall and John had to suppress his smile at the eyeroll Peter sent his way.

“It’s Derek’s turn, yes,” John called back and waited until Peter had left the station.

“I’m going with in,” Talia decisively said, and John pressed his lips together, because Derek’s eyeroll was one hundred percent picked up from Peter.

“No, you’re not. I want to speak to Derek alone. Lessens the influence,” John courtly told her and absolutely did not falter under Talia’s icy glare.

“What are you insinuating?” she hisses.

“Nothing. Derek, if you would follow me?”

“Sure,” Derek sourly said and trotted after John into the interrogation room.

“Tell me what’s going on with you and Peter,” John said as Derek sat down.

“I love him,” Derek quietly said, and John nodded, because that’s what he expected.

Hell, it’s what he sees every time he sees those two together.

“Did he ever touch you in a way you didn’t want?” John still asked, because it’s his job.

“He won’t even kiss me,” Derek said with a heavy sigh. “He won’t touch me because I’m still sixteen. I’m going to die a virgin,” Derek complained, and John snorted.

“I doubt that,” he reassured Derek, because John was pretty sure that as soon as Derek turned eighteen Peter would be all up on that, if Derek still wanted it then.

“How long have you loved him?” John lowly asked, and Derek smiled sadly at him.

“Forever. He was always my favorite. I never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend, I never even had a crush on someone. It was always just him.”

“Alright,” John told him and got up. “Time to talk to your mother then.”

“Oh god,” Derek muttered. “Tell her that if she doesn’t stop being stupid, I’m going to move in with Peter.”

“Will do,” John promised and was rewarded with one of Derek’s rare smiles.

Well, rare for anyone who wasn’t Peter.

Talia was pacing up and down outside the room and she whirled around the moment the door opened.

“Are you going to arrest Peter?” she immediately demanded to know.

“Why don’t you come in here?” John said evenly and Talia almost shouldered him out of the way when she stormed past him.

“What?”

“Talia, you know what,” John said with a sigh.

“No, I don’t.”

“You’re a werewolf. You would smell it if Derek was miserable, hurt or afraid. You would smell the evidence on Peter. Don’t bullshit me. You never liked Peter and you’re just trying to finally get rid of him.”

Talia gaped at him, clearly not used to someone speaking so frankly with her, but John couldn’t give less of a shit. Talia wasn’t his alpha and she sometimes needed to just hear the cold, hard truth.

“Talia, you’re slandering Peter. If this gets out, even just the accusation, it could ruin his reputation as a lawyer.”

“And what do I care?” she wanted to know, arms crossed in front of her chest.

“You should care, because if you keep doing this Derek will be gone sooner than you can blink. They love each other, and you know it. I get that you don’t like it, but you have to deal with it somehow.”

“How dare you,” she hissed at him and John shrugged.

“I’m just telling you what you already know, Talia,” John placatingly told her.

“He’s my brother, John! He’s Derek’s uncle, for god’s sake! He’s fifteen years older than Derek!”

“I know. But as far as I can tell there’s no coercion and no abuse in their relationship. Apparently, Derek approached Peter. They didn’t have sex yet, they are not married, and they can’t produce children. I don’t know what you want from me, Talia. There’s no legal standing for you, neither with the incest accusation nor the statutory rape accusation.”

“I came to you for help!”

“And I am helping you. You need to stop Talia. They love each other, and you’re going to ruin your relationship to your brother and your son forever if you don’t learn to at least ignore their relationship.”

Talia flashed her eyes at him, but John couldn’t care less. She wouldn’t attack him, and she had no power over him. She stared at him for a good long minute, before she suddenly deflated.

“I wanted so much more for him,” she muttered, and John sighed.

“Talia, his life is not ruined. Look me in the eye and tell me that Peter doesn’t want the best for him. That he would keep him from choosing whatever future Derek has picked out for himself.”

Talia clenched her teeth together, keeping suspiciously silent, because they both knew Peter only wanted the best for Derek.

“I hate it when you are like this.”

“Right?” John cheekily asked and laughed at the glare that earned him. “Come on, I’ll take you out to Chris’ bar, get you nice and tipsy and tomorrow you’ll smile at Derek and Peter like you mean it.”

“Fine,” Talia huffed. “I hope you got your paycheck already, because you will need all the money today.”

“Don’t you worry, Chris and I have an understanding about getting stressed out alpha’s drunk.”

“I hate you,” Talia muttered but she went along with John easily.

“I know you do.”

It would be a long night. John just hoped that Derek and Peter used it to get some good cuddling in while Talia was out.

They deserved it after this.

~*~*~

John was pleasantly buzzed when he came home, having pushed most of his drinks over to Talia who had readily downed them all without blinking. She was decidedly more wasted than he was. At least she had werewolf healing on her side.

John tried to be quiet as he went through his evening routine, absolutely ready to fall into bed and not move until the sun inevitably shone into his face, and so he hurried along.

His bedroom was dark and he didn’t switch on the light, finding his way to the bed without it. When he slid under the covers, he immediately reached out and pulled Stiles closer to him, tucking him into the folds of his body.

“Where’ve you been?” Stiles mumbled as he sleepily blinked his eyes open.

“I just had the strangest day,” John murmured, pressing a soft kiss to Stiles’ lips. “Go back to sleep.”

“Missed you,” Stiles breathed out, and then pressed closer to John, wrapping his arms around him.

“Missed you too,” John replied, but he was pretty sure Stiles was already asleep again.

“Look at you,” Peter said, and he sounded awed, though his scent was panicked and sad. “You grew up so gorgeous.”

“What—,” Derek started but then couldn’t help but run forward and pull Peter into a bone-crushing hug.

“I have missed you so much,” he whispered into Peter’s neck, and while Peter returned the hug, he didn’t relax into it.

“Derek, sweetheart, what is going on? Last I remember, you were sixteen. And look at you now. How old are you?”

Derek froze right up, stiltedly extracting himself from Peter’s arms and taking several steps back.

He should have known. He should have known right away, because there was no way in hell that after everything Derek did to their family, and to Peter, that Peter would still want anything to do with him.

“I’m twenty-three,” he told Peter without looking at him, so he only heard the sharp intake of breath.

“Holy shit,” Peter said with emphasis. “What happened? Where is everyone?”

Derek’s heart clenched painfully in his chest, because he had never needed to say it out loud, had never needed to tell anyone that their whole family was dead, and he didn’t know how to break it to Peter. Let alone explain that it was all his fault.

“Derek, darling, just tell me what happened,” Peter coaxed, and Derek swallowed against the lump in his throat.

“They are all dead,” he mumbled. “There was a fire,” he went on, but then stopped when Peter reeled him in for another hug, this time melting against Derek like he used to.

And Derek had intended to tell him the truth, the words I killed them all on the tip of his tongue, but this Peter didn’t look at him with barely concealed hate and Derek couldn’t bring himself to say it. This was Peter from before the fire, the one who loved Derek and who knew how to laugh and who played games with his little niblings; this was the Peter Derek missed every day, like a chopped off limb.

And he just couldn’t destroy all of that.

He figured the amnesia would go away sooner or later; Laura had watched enough rom-coms for Derek to know exactly like this would go, especially considering the enhanced healing, so he thought it couldn’t hurt to just keep a few details to himself.

Peter would hate him again soon enough after all.

~*~*~

It wasn’t quite that easy.

Peter took two days to digest that everyone he loved was dead and buried, that he had lost the better part of a decade to a coma and then to death (at least that was what Derek told him) but it didn’t change the fact that he was as easily affectionate with Derek as he had been before the fire.

Peter grieved for the two days he allowed himself, keeping Derek close and in reach, clearly afraid that he would vanish too, and he peppered Derek with love and kisses and hugs.

Derek, in turn, allowed himself those two days to bask in that affection, in that love, before he distanced himself again. It would be hard enough already, once Peter remembered and started to hate him again, and Derek didn’t need that to happen while he was cuddled up to Peter.

On the third day Peter sat Derek down and very imploringly begged Derek to “Please don’t tell me you live here, in this burned out shell of a home.”

Derek shook his head, and watched relieve wash over Peter’s face, only to be replaced with horror when Derek told him that he was currently staying in an abandoned train station.

Peter didn’t like that answer much better.

Derek didn’t know how Peter did it, what strings he had to pull, but a week after Derek had found him in the house, Peter was leading him into a new apartment.

“Isn’t that so much better, pup? Isn’t this a much better home?” he asked when Derek looked around and he could see it.

Could see them curled up on the couch, arguing over movies like they used to. He could see them in the kitchen, Peter despairing over Derek’s non-existent cooking skills while Derek laughed and laughed. He could see them in bed together, sleeping and comfortable, could imagine them fuck there to their hearts content but also just exist next to each other.

It would be so easy for this apartment to become their home, their den and something sharp and ugly twisted in Derek’s chest.

He didn’t unpack his duffle bag. Like this, it would be easier to run at a moment’s notice, once Peter remembered what Derek did to him. He wouldn’t want Derek around then.

~*~*~

“What did I do?” Peter asked out of the blue one evening, while they prepared dinner. Or rather as Peter prepared dinner and Derek watched from a safe distance.

“What?” Derek asked, startled out of his thoughts and when he looked up, he found Peter watching him.

“You’re distant. You’re deliberately keeping yourself closed off, and I want to know what I did. And how I can fix it.”

Derek pressed his lips together. He didn’t know how to explain that he was keeping his distance to protect himself. Didn’t know how to explain that he would love nothing more than to fall into this thing with Peter again, go back to the easy, comfortable, loving relationship they had before, but couldn’t because he could never stand losing Peter again.

Like this, it was easier for him. There was nothing for Derek to lose, if he didn’t let Peter close again.

But he didn’t know how to explain that without making Peter hate him again and so he just awkwardly shrugged.

Peter’s face fell at that, and Derek wrecked his brain for something reassuring to say.

“It’s not—,” he started and then took a moment to actually think it over. “I’ve been alone so long. I don’t—I just don’t remember how to be with someone anymore,” he explained and when he looked at Peter again, he wasn’t sure if the pain and worry on his face was any better than his hurt look from before.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Peter breathed out, food forgotten on the stove as he came over to cup Derek’s cheek in his hand. “You’re not alone any longer.”

“Yeah,” Derek said, but didn’t voice what he was really thinking. I just wonder how long that lasts.

~*~*~

Derek had only been gone for an hour but when he came back, Peter was sitting at the table and Derek could tell that he had his memories back in an instant. Gone was the open look on his face, the ever-present faint smirk on his lips. Instead, his face was hard and closed off and his eyes told Derek all he needed to know.

Their time together was over.

“I’ll—just get my bag then,” Derek said, heart in his throat, eyes burning like he was about to burst into tears any second now.

He had prepared for this; knew that it was inevitable. But it still hurt more than anything else.

“Is it because I killed Laura?” Peter asked and Derek stopped in his retreat, confused by that question.

“Is what because of Laura?”

“You keeping your distance. Did I—did I kill whatever we had, every chance we ever had, when I killed her?”

“She was your alpha and left you behind when you needed the pack the most. I hate that she’s gone, and I hate how she died, but you were feral at the time and I don’t hold it against you,” Derek explained and watched Peter’s face twist.

“What is it then? What did I do to make you hate me like this? You won’t even relax around me, don’t think I haven’t noticed. You didn’t even unpack. Why would you come here in the first place if you were always going to leave me again?”

“It’s not what you did to me, Peter, it’s what I did to you,” Derek chocked out. “I killed them, I killed them all and I left you just like Laura did and then I killed you. I know that even one of those is unforgivable, but all three—I always knew that as soon as you remembered I would have to leave again, that you wouldn’t want me around anymore. It’s you who hates me, and I get it, I really do, Peter, but I can’t—I couldn’t pretend that everything was fine for the last few weeks.”

Derek was breathing hard at the end of his triad and Peter was staring at him with wide eyes, surprise clearly written all over his face.

“I don’t hate you,” Peter told him, and Derek scoffed. “Hell, I don’t even blame you for any of these things.”

“Right,” Derek spit out. “That’s why you almost killed me, why you looked at me with such hate. Because you don’t blame me.”

“Darling,” Peter started and Derek flinched at the endearment, causing Peter to frown. “I really don’t hate you, and I don’t blame you. Kate killed our family, not you. It was Laura’s decision to leave me behind; she was your alpha and you had to obey. And you killing me was the kindest gesture you could ever show me. I wasn’t only feral, Derek, I was completely insane.”

But Derek couldn’t believe it. It just didn’t make sense in his head.

“You hate me,” he whispered, clinging to the one thing he had believed for the last few months, and Peter stood up at that.

“I don’t, darling. I love you,” he said, carefully coming closer. “I love you the same I have always loved you,” he told Derek softly and Derek could see the Peter from last week, the one who was still happy and content and a lot softer around the edges.

Derek couldn’t stop the trembling that started in his hands and just spread out, but Peter was right there, taking his hands in his and bringing them up to his chest, pressing them right over his heart, as if Derek hadn’t been listening to his heartbeat all this time.

“I love you,” Peter repeated, and Derek almost choked on a sob, wrangling his hands free so he could sling them around Peter’s neck and pull him close, hiding himself in Peter’s embrace.

“I love you, too,” Derek muttered, pressing the words into Peter’s skin.

They stayed like that for a very long time.

“Does that mean you’re finally going to unpack?” Peter eventually asked, but he still didn’t move away. “Because it doesn’t much feel like a home when you always have one foot out of the door.”

“I’m going to unpack,” Derek promised and pulled away only to lean in and press a soft kiss to Peter’s lips. “We’re going to make this a home.”

Derek had thought that he could just be careful, stop the flirting that without fault started every time he went out, be it with Peter or without. But he was slow to realize that someone was flirting, usually only noticed it when someone was already sliding a suggestive hand on his thigh or lower back, and by then Peter was already boiling with possessive rage.

Derek felt dirty afterwards; not only because someone who wasn’t Peter had touched him but also because he was never quick enough to stop the flirting before it even really started, was never decisive enough to firmly tell someone no.

And it was putting a strain on Peter.

He never relaxed anymore when they went out together, and he started the evening with the clear expectation that he would have to fuck up someone who got yet again a little too familiar with Derek.

“Peter,” Derek called out when Peter was slow to let the guy down, but at Derek’s call Peter finally pried his hand off him.

“Are you okay?” Peter asked him, roaming his hands down Derek’s arms, covering the stranger’s scent but also checking if Derek was hurt.

The guy had been a bit rough.

“I’m sorry,” Derek said instead of answering Peter and Peter’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“He touched you. There is nothing you have to be sorry for.”

“Yes, there is,” Derek said stubbornly, turning away because didn’t want to have this conversation in a bar where almost everyone could listen in without much of a problem.

“Where are you going?” Peter called after him, hurrying to catch up to Derek.

“Home,” he pressed out, shoulders tense and drawn up, but he couldn’t help but lean into Peter’s warm hand when he rested it at the small of Derek’s back.

They didn’t speak on the way home, Derek dialed up the radio as soon as they were in the car, and even though Peter very clearly didn’t like it, he accepted the silence and didn’t try to speak.

But that changed as soon as they were safely inside their apartment, just like Derek had known it would.

“Talk to me?” Peter asked gently, causing Derek to deflate and slump on the couch.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, and Peter sat down next to him without hesitation, scratching at the fine hairs at the back of Derek’s neck.

“Tell me what for, darling,” Peter urged him.

Derek laughed bitterly at that because where should he even start.

“For being a shitty boyfriend, for not noticing when someone flirts with me, for never stopping it, for not giving you what you want,” he rushed out, turning his head away from Peter. “For not letting you mate me,” he added with a whisper, because this was the hardest part.

They had talked about it in the beginning; Peter had asked if that was something Derek would want, but Derek had panicked and shut him down quickly. Peter had tried to bring up the topic just once more, but since Derek’s reaction to it had been the same Peter had eventually stopped asking about it.

Peter had gone stiff at his side, and Derek was prepared to pull back from him any moment now, but instead he was suddenly almost crushed in a hug.

“There is nothing you have to apologize for,” Peter almost growled, pressing a fierce kiss to Derek’s head.

“Right,” Derek scoffed, and Peter suddenly pushed him away, far enough that he could look Derek in the eyes.

“There isn’t. You’re not a shitty boyfriend, it’s not your fault you don’t pick up on the flirting or that I’m much quicker to put a stop to it than you, you’re giving me exactly what I want by being with me and if you don’t want to be mated to me, then that’s fine, too. Sweetheart, really, there is nothing to be sorry for,” Peter explained.

“I do want to be mated to you,” Derek whispered, ducking his head down.

He hated seeing people flirt with Peter just as much as Peter hated when it happened to Derek, but Peter was a lot quicker at shutting those people down. But still, Derek would love nothing better than to see his mark on Peter’s neck.

“But you said no when I asked you,” Peter said, confusion clear in his voice and now Derek did pull away.

“Of course I did,” he said as he stood up, putting more distance between them. “And you know damn well why. But it doesn’t change the fact that I want to be mated to you. It’s the other part I hate.”

“I don’t understand,” Peter said, shaking his head at Derek. “What other part?”

“You know,” Derek told him, just uncomfortable talking about it.

“No, darling, I don’t. Tell me.”

Derek pressed his lips together and Peter patiently waited him out, until Derek just blurted it out.

“The knotting. You know that will never happen, so we can never get mated and I don’t understand why you keep bringing it up!”

“The--please tell me my sister didn’t fail you that hard when she gave you the mating talk,” Peter said, horror clear in his voice and Derek frowned at him.

“What?”

“Did Talia tell you that mating could only happen if you’re knotted together?” Peter wanted to know, and Derek nodded.

That was what his mom had told him; the mating would be all the sweeter because of all the endorphins already in his system and that there was no other time to do it.

“It’s not true, Derek,” Peter said, holding his hand out towards Derek and patiently waiting until he took it.

Peter soothingly ran his thumb over Derek’s knuckles, but he didn’t pull him closer and Derek was thankful for that. His whole world view was tilting on its axis and he needed a bit of distance.

“It’s true, it’s mostly done when you’re knotted together, because you’re already in an intimate moment, sensations heightened, but it doesn’t have to happen then. You can be knotted together without mating and you can mate without knotting. Those two don’t have to go together.”

“Really?” Derek asked weakly.

“Of course, pup. Do you really think I would have kept bringing it up, knowing that you’re ace?”

“Not really,” Derek muttered, because he had wondered about that.

Peter was so understanding otherwise, never pushing Derek past his limits and accepting the boundaries he had set easily and without complaint and it had seemed out of character for him to push Derek like that.

“Come here, my heart,” Peter said gently, giving Derek’s hand a small tug, beckoning him closer but giving Derek the choice.

Derek went easily, no hesitation at all, and he straddled Peter’s lap, sliding his hands over his shoulders as Peter’s hands possessively gripped his hips.

“So what you’re saying is that you want to be mated to me,” Peter whispered, nosing at Derek’s chin, nudging his head up so he could trail kisses down Derek’s neck, playfully nibbling at his throat.

The exact same spot that would bear the mating bite.

“Of course,” Derek said, already breathless with anticipation. “Please,” he whined when Peter just continued to worry at the spot, never biting down hard enough to make it stick.

“Yeah?” Peter asked, sounding just as breathless as Derek felt. “You want to be mine?”

“Yes, yours,” Derek whined, and he had just a moment to feel Peter go tense, before his teeth suddenly sunk into his neck.

Derek had never experienced anything like it; the feeling overwhelming in the best way, and he whined again, high in his throat, pressing closer to Peter. Peter carefully retracted his fangs after a moment, licking over the sluggishly bleeding wound and even just that was a feeling beyond description.

But Derek still wasn’t satisfied.

He pulled away from Peter, far enough to be able to push his head to the side and Derek could already feel his fangs lengthening in his mouth.

“You’re mine, too,” Derek slurred, and Peter only had time for a hissed “Yes,” before Derek returned the bite.

Derek didn’t know what felt better, receiving or giving the mating bite, but when Peter’s scent exploded with love and almost desperate belonging, it didn’t even matter.

The only important part now was that everyone would know that Derek and Peter belonged together.

“I love you,” Peter said as soon as Derek pulled away, licking the blood off his neck and urging the wound to scar quicker.

“I love you,” Derek gave back, dragging his tongue one last time over Peter’s throat before he slid off his lap and curled into his side.

Peter accommodated him easily, sliding his arm around Derek and pulling him close, nuzzling his temple and Derek sighed.

He could feel Peter, the mating bond adding another layer to his awareness, one that was acutely tuned in to Peter, and Derek loved it already.

In the end Derek had left without ever getting the chance to feed off anyone. He hadn’t tried again since then and by now the hunger left him weak, shaking after even the smallest of exertions.

Derek knew that his time was limited if he didn’t feed soon, but even the thought of doing that with someone, of letting someone touch him like that, was making his stomach roll in disgust.

There was only one person Derek trusted to make it the least unpleasant experience for him and Derek didn’t know if Peter even wanted anything to do with him anymore. He knew that Peter had wanted him once, before Derek got them all killed and burned, but Derek had been too afraid to let Peter know that he felt something for him too; too confused by how he loved Peter but didn’t want anything sexual with him and so Derek had stayed away. And then it simply had been too late. Nowadays Peter looked at him with judging and cold eyes where before they were full of love and adoration.

But when Derek fainted in the kitchen, too weak to even cross his own loft anymore, he figured that there wasn’t another choice for him. He had to ask Peter for help.

The way to Peter’s apartment took Derek almost an hour, when it shouldn’t have been more than ten minutes, at best, but he had to stop regularly, catch his breath and make sure his knees weren’t shaking anymore. It was strenuous and Derek feared that if Peter turned him away, he wouldn’t have enough energy to make it back to his loft.

Peter opened the door almost immediately after Derek knocked, so he probably tracked his slow way up the stairs, but Derek was too exhausted to care about that. He almost fell into Peter’s arms as it was, a little embarrassment was nothing compared to that.

“What is wrong with you?” Peter immediately asked when Derek leaned against the doorway, panting heavily, and when he took a deep breath, Peter’s eyes widened.

“You’re changing into something else. What happened?” he wanted to know and gently pulled Derek into his apartment.

“Incubus,” Derek panted, still catching his breath, but he clung to Peter’s arm. If he still was a werewolf it would probably be painful, but as it was, he was too weak to even properly hold on.

“When did that happen?”

“You have to help me,” Derek desperately said. “I don’t know how to feed, I don’t know how to do this, and you wanted me once. If you could still bring yourself to remember that, just once, it would be—I need to feed but—please, Peter.”

“Derek—,” Peter started, and Derek sobbed, because that tone told him all he needed to know about Peter’s answer.

“Please, please. I’ll figure out how to do this, I’ll learn not to mind, but I can’t think. I just—just once, Peter, please, I can’t—I have to experience it once so I know what to do, so I know how it feels and how to endure it, otherwise I can’t work through this, please.”

“Slow down,” Peter said, and his voice was a lot kinder than before.

Maybe Derek still had a chance.

“Why come to me with this?” Peter wanted to know, and Derek slumped against him, too tired to stay upright.

“You wanted me once.”

“I’m pretty sure there are enough people out there who want you,” Peter snapped back, and Derek’s breath hitched at that.

“But I don’t want them to touch me, even the thought is disgusting and revolting, Peter, please, just help me.”

“And me touching you is okay?”

Derek was silent for a long moment, imagining Peter touching him in a sexual manner, but it wasn’t any better than when Derek imagined a stranger doing it. He just knew that Peter would make it endurable for him, because Peter cared for him. Derek trusted him to do at least that.

“No, no it’s not, but I trust you, I love you, it would be bearable,” Derek rushed out when Peter tensed against him, but at that Peter pushed him away.

Still gentle, but he put enough distance between them for Derek to stumble without his support, falling heavily on the couch.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Peter hissed out. “Why would you even say that if even the thought is so disgusting to you. I love you, why the hell would you do this to me? You can just go out there and work your goddamn sex magic and make everyone want you. You can feel it, can’t you? It should be easy to make them all attracted to you.”

“But I don’t know how it feels,” Derek whispered brokenly, because this had been his last chance.

If even Peter wouldn’t help him, there was no one else he could turn to.

“How what feels?” Peter asked.

“Sexual attraction. I don’t know what that feels like, and I don’t know how to make others feel it,” Derek admitted and then laughed bitterly, because he couldn’t even get this one thing right.

“You’re ace,” Peter said, as if that suddenly made some sense, but Derek was too tired to even ask what he was talking about.

“Derek, are you ace?” Peter demanded to know when Derek didn’t answer.

“I don’t know. Don’t know what that is.”

“It means you’re asexual, that you don’t experience sexual attraction and apparently also that you’re sex repulsed.”

“Sounds about right,” Derek slurred, his energy draining quicker than it had in the days before.

“Fuck! Come here,” Peter said and rushed towards him, situating them on the couch so that Derek was propped up against Peter’s chest.

“Warm,” Derek mumbled as he rubbed his cheek against Peter’s chest.

He felt like he was floating, like he was high, and he barely felt Peter press a kiss to his hair before he passed out.

~*~*~

Derek came to slowly. That wasn’t a surprise really, because ever since the bite he had been slow to wake up, not enough energy to start the day right. What was surprising now was the fact that he came to slowly because he was warm and content, still sleepy in the best kind of ways.

“Mhhh,” he breathed out and then jolted awake when the bed suddenly started to shake.

Except, it wasn’t the bed that was shaking, but Peter. Who he apparently had slept on.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Peter teasingly said, and Derek blinked his eyes a few times.

This couldn’t be. There was no way in hell he had ended up in bed with Peter and didn’t even remember it.

“What happened?” Derek said, voice cracking around the words, and Derek cleared his throat.

“You passed out,” Peter explained. “I guess you were too weak. You slept for eighteen hours.”

“I—I feel good now,” Derek haltingly said.

The only explanation for that was that Peter had slept with him as Derek had been unconscious and Derek didn’t know how to feel about that. On the one hand he was kind of glad that he didn’t had to experience it and on the other hand he felt incredibly violated. And to think that he came here, because he trusted Peter.

“What did you do?” he whispered, too horrified by even the thought of what Peter might have done.

“Nothing!” Peter quickly reassured him, obviously knowing exactly where Derek’s thoughts had gone to. “We just slept. I did nothing to you.”

“I don’t—I feel good. It can’t be, if you tell the truth.”

“It can be, Derek, I promise. The feeding on sex and sexual attraction—it doesn’t have to be that.”

“What else can it be? Every source I found said that’s the only thing, the only thing that would keep me alive.”

“It’s just the easiest to come by,” Peter said and then added, “at least for most people.”

“So you’re saying I fed.”

“Yes. Love can still the hunger, too. It’s just a lot harder to come by than sex. For that you only have to go to a club. Love is more difficult.”

Derek pressed his lips together, looking down at his hands instead of up at Peter.

“So you’re saying I fed on your love.”

“Yes.”

“For what? I mean—it can’t be me, right, I lost that the moment I got you all burned, and I know it, too. The way you look at me—”

“Derek,” Peter interrupted him. “I love you. I always have. You fed on my love for you, nothing else would have even worked. And even that is only because you love me too. It has to be mutual.”

“But ever since the fire—you look at me like you hate me.”

“I look at you like I’m trying to figure out what is too much,” Peter explained and then shrugged. “I always thought you figured out I was in love with you, and that you were so disgusted by that that you turned to Kate. Now I was just trying to figure out how to keep my distance, so I didn’t push you into something like that ever again.”

“I turned to Kate because I thought something was wrong with me,” Derek lowly admitted. “I loved you, I still do, but I never wanted anything sexual with you and I was confused. What she offered was—easier to figure out.”

“But you didn’t like it,” Peter guessed and carefully reached out to grab Derek’s hand.

“No,” Derek agreed. “She said I just needed to get used to it, and I believed her. I thought I had to push through, that I would learn to enjoy, or at least endure it.”

Peter clenched his jaw at that, and he only relaxed after taking a deep breath.

“You never have to push through. If you don’t like something, that’s it. I’m sorry I didn’t figure it out sooner.”

“You said—I’m ace?” Derek wanted to know, unsure if he remembered the word correctly. He had been mostly out of it at that point.

“Yeah, sweetheart. Asexual. It’s an orientation, just like gay or bi or demi.”

“I didn’t know that,” Derek whispered and scooted a little bit closer to Peter. “So, love,” he said because he didn’t know how else to get back to that topic.

“Yeah, darling. I love you. I always have,” Peter easily admitted, and Derek could feel it, rushing through him, filling him up where before he was empty and starving.

“Why does it work?” Derek wondered, pressing a hand to his stomach.

“I don’t even know how feeding on sex works,” Peter said with a small smile. “I just know that love keeps you just as well fed as that. I knew an incubus once,” Peter explained at Derek’s questioning gaze. “They usually work the sex route because it’s easier. You can have that with everyone. Falling in love with someone and making them love you too, that’s a lot harder.”

“But you do. You—love me,” Derek said haltingly, because it was a lot to take in.

“I do,” Peter said immediately and reached out to frame Derek’s face with his hands. “I love you so much. More than I can comprehend sometimes.”

“I love you, too,” Derek said and covered one of Peter’s hand with his own, leaning into it. “I was so scared,” he then admitted, and Peter pulled him close, pulled him right back into bed and into Peter’s arms.

“You’re okay now,” Peter promised. “And you’ll be okay. I’ve loved you for too long to just suddenly stop.”

“Good,” Derek gave back and nuzzled his face into Peter’s neck. “I miss smelling you,” he mumbled, nose pressed to Peter’s skin in hopes of catching that unmistakable scent, but the more subtle notes were lost to his non-werewolf nose.

“I smell like you now,” Peter said, carding his fingers through Derek’s hair and lazily scratching at his scalp. “We smell like each other.”

“I like that,” Derek replied, already on the brink of sleep again.

He didn’t try to fight it, didn’t have to fear not waking up in the morning because he was well fed and safe in the arms of the one he loved and who loved him in return.

“Sleep, pup, I’ll be here,” was the last thing Derek heard before sleep took him once again.

“You love sex,” Derek started and pushed on when Peter rolled his eyes. “You love sex and you used to have it several times a week and now I’m depriving you of that.”

“You’re not depriving me of anything!”

“You know you can—I would—you used to go to this club,” Derek haltingly said, and Peter almost rushed forward, framing Derek’s face with his hands and forcing him to look at Peter.

“I do not want to have sex with anyone who isn’t you,” he said imploringly, and Derek winced, because that didn’t leave him much choice.

“I could probably—you know—just take it or whatever,” Derek mumbled and Peter’s eyes flashed blue at that.

“I tried a sex doll, and I didn’t much appreciate that experience, thank you very much. I prefer my partners, or boyfriends for that matter, to be willing and with great enthusiasm.”

“But—,” Derek started but Peter wouldn’t let him speak.

“No but! We’ve been over this already, Derek!”

“You love sex! You love sex and I’m forcing you to choose between that and me and clearly, you’re unhappy with this situation. I know sex is important to you and if you could just at least admit that—”

“Yes, sex is important to me,” Peter interrupted him, and Derek’s stomach dropped out at that. “But so are you,” Peter went on, before Derek could totally panic.

“But is that enough?” Derek muttered and Peter sighed.

“Yes, it is,” he gave back. “And even if it wasn’t; what would be the alternative? Leaving you?”

“No, please don’t,” Derek rushed out. “But the offer still stands,” he tacked on somewhat unwillingly and Peter narrowed his eyes. “It won’t be so bad once in a while,” Derek whispered, trying to convince himself more than Peter and Peter stepped forward, until he could speak directly into Derek’s ear.

“So, what? You’re just going to lay down and take it? Let me roam my hands all over your body? Pinch your nipples until they are red and swollen before I suck at them? Are you just going to let me rim you until you’re soft and relaxed and ready to take my fingers? Will you let me work you open, one finger at a time, pumping in and out of you but never touching that one spot you would need my fingers at? Will you let me fuck you into the mattress until my cock pounding into you and my teeth in your neck are all that you can think of? Will you come like that, with me fucking you and my hand on your cock?”

Derek tensed up all over during that speech, stepping away from Peter before he was done, and he was disgusted just by the thought of everything Peter had so vividly painted out for him.

“So tell me Derek, is that something you want? Something you could take pleasure from?” Peter tacked on, even though he damn well knew the answer, could probably read it in every line of Derek’s tense body and smell it in his scent.

“I don’t want that,” Derek choked out and stepped further away from Peter, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I don’t want any of that.”

“Okay,” Peter said gently, carefully reaching out to take Derek’s hand in his. “Then don’t talk about forcing yourself to go through that.”

“But I’m forcing you to not have sex.”

“Derek, you might be the one to present me with two options, sex or you, but it’s me who chose. I chose you. If sex was more important to me than you, I would just walk away and go have it with the first stranger that is even remotely pleasing to me. But I am choosing to stay with you. It’s a conscious decision on my part, and I need you to respect that.”

“It’s hard on you, though.”

“Yes,” Peter freely admitted. “I like to think of myself as a little bit of an addict. And now I’m choosing to go clean. It will take a while, but I’ll work through it. I’m going cold turkey on this and it’s a little bit harder than I expected, mostly because I am not well versed with using toys.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sweetheart, listen to me for once,” Peter said and tilted Derek’s head back up. “You are not forcing me to do this. I could walk away at any point. I could leave you but I’m not doing that,” Peter hastingly tacked on when Derek whined at just the thought of Peter walking away from him. “I love you, more than you think, and certainly more than sex, so I need you to hear me. Not having sex is not a problem for me as long as I get to be with you, I promise you that. I’m showing signs of withdrawal, fine, maybe, but it will pass. I need you to trust me on this.”

Derek stared at Peter for a long moment but before he could speak, Peter narrowed his eyes.

“I swear to god, if you ask me if I am sure, I am going to smack you over the head,” he threatened, and Derek promptly swallowed the words.

“I love you,” he said instead, and Peter pulled him close, peppering his face with kisses.

“I love you, too, pup,” he immediately gave back, and Derek relaxed against him.

“And I do trust you,” Derek belatedly added, which caused Peter to sigh.

“I know, darling. Now you only need to work on showing that as well, huh?”

“Probably.”

“I’m sorry you had such bad experiences before,” Peter eventually muttered. “I know you’re worried I’ll leave you because you’re ace, but I won’t. I’ve loved you for too long to let something small like this come in the way of that.”

Derek’s eyes burned at those words, like they always did when Peter said things like that and he burrowed closer, hiding his face in Peter’s neck.

“This is probably not how you imagined your life with your mate to be,” Derek whispered, and Peter slung his arms around him, squeezing him hard.

“This is exactly like I imagined my life with my mate. Because I have you and I love you. That’s all that matters.”

“You’re not feeling robbed?” Derek couldn’t help but ask.

“I have you. How could I ever feel robbed when I have you right by my side? And I will tell you that as often as you need to hear it.,” Peter said.

“Okay,” Derek agreed, because he liked the sound of that.

It sounded like Peter would be around for a long time.

“Good,” Peter replied and then hesitated for a second. “Now, can I go back to my pacing?” Peter wanted to know and Derek had to chuckle at that.

“How about we go for a run instead?” he asked, and Peter quickly agreed.

Derek would continue to worry about this issue, he knew himself well enough to realize that, but going for a run together was worlds better than just watching Peter be all keyed up. Like this, it felt like something Derek could do for Peter, without actually having to step out of his comfort zone.