#dermatilliomania

A Virgil-centric Dermatilliomania drabble

Warnings: mention of blood, Dermatilliomania, mention of ripping skin, mention of eating skin, hints at stigma against Dermatilliomania, angst

@theactualbigchonk (sorry for the tag but I thought you’d like this)

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Virgil knew he was bleeding without seeing it.

He knew the feeling well. The horrible stinging in his lips that was relieving even when it shouldn’t have been. The feeling of something clinging under his nails that hurt from the strain of ripping his skin. The fact that he could taste the tang of metal that always came with the blood on his tongue.

“Don’t do that,” Patton would say, “it’s bad for you!”

As if Virgil didn’t already know that. As if he wasn’t aware that ripping his lips open so badly they bled was a bad thing. If Logan has been there he would have mentioned the Derma-thing again, the apparent condition he thought Virgil was suffering from.

Virgil didn’t really care what it was, it didn’t matter. He couldn’t stop himself, the urge was too strong. It was better to just suffer in silence, to pick and cover his scars. The others had gotten good at pretending it wasn’t there, and if they didn’t mention he certainly wouldn’t. He didn’t need another lecture anyway.

As he pressed a tissue to his lip, Virgil let his thoughts wander to his old father figure. Janus suffered from the same thing he did, picking at his scales and skin. If he could recall correctly though, the snake-faced side had a tendency to eat the skin he pulled. Not for the first time, Virgil found himself wondering if he had picked up on the liar’s old habits as a kid.

‘Even if I had,’ he reasons with himself, ‘it’s still my issue now.’

He had tried stopping, numerous times. He would distract his hands, or keep eating so he couldn’t pull with his teeth. Nothing ever worked though, and Virgil wasn’t sure what to do anymore. When you learn to cope with anxiety in a specific way for years, it becomes nearly impossible to quit.

There was a knock at the bathroom door, Virgil stiffened. Roman called inside, “you okay in there emo nightmare?”

MY ZINES ARE UP FOR SALE ! (finally)  You can purchase digital copies of them HERE for Two Whole Dollars (each) and then you can print them out and put them on your face!

You can also buy me a coffee if you want to show your support and don’t care about getting the larger image files for these zines

I guess first off i wanna say i’m not a mental health professional so my opinions about this aren’t super important.  But, I think a lot of mental health things are based on how much they impact you.  Popping pimples seems to be a part of self-grooming, even to people who aren’t compulsive about it.  It’s compulsive when it becomes something you are unable to prevent yourself from doing, to the point where it causes you significant distress (for me it’s like a magnetic pull to the mirror, and there’s this sort of trance that i go in to when i start picking)If your picking is causing you distress, then i’d suggest checking out dermatilliomania resources and see if they help you reduce that distress.