There are only two things that make life worth living: Love, and creation.
Are you losing yourself?
Send that text message. Pick up the pencil. Stop being a pussy and just do it.


#dc#dc comics#batman#tim drake#batfam#bruce wayne#dick grayson#batfamily#dc fanart

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There are only two things that make life worth living: Love, and creation.
Are you losing yourself?
Send that text message. Pick up the pencil. Stop being a pussy and just do it.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Showering is a genuine test of strength to me like for my whole life i used to shower daily then i tried to not shower for 2 days due to well. Lack of a proper bathroom and i'm now struggling with hygiene
I have NO idea why showering like legit scares me
I don’t want to hurt them
But I want to stop hurting
Why is this incompatible?
Why is there no plane where we both don’t hurt?
I understand I am way over inflating my sense of importance, not to mention collaboration efforts, of my mutuals in saying this:
But wouldn’t it be sooo cute if my moots had bets on when I’m finally going to off myself?! When I post something suicidal 25% are like omg at last maybe it’s happening! While the other 75% are like *yawn* this is her cycle, I’ll be $100 richer in 5 years.
I have such strongly opposed parts inside of myself:
The Protector
As the Protector my primary objective is to safeguard the target from harm. I am willing to put in the dirty work. I recognize death as the ultimate escape from any and all future pain.
The Vulnerable
I am vulnerable and full of pain. Everyday I am in physical and emotional pain. I have mental and physical illness. I am constantly overwhelmed. I am not well enough to work and participate in capitalism. Rent and bills clobber me. Accessing resources and advocating for myself is hard work. I have so much grief and trauma. The ghosts of my past haunt me. I cry most everyday and I beg a god I don’t believe in to kill me. Then I started begging the Protector to kill me.
The Loving
There are parts of life that I love. I love my family, I love my friends. I love Octobers and going for walks. Stephen King books, cats and movies. Board games. Getting railed. Learning new things. I love making art when I’m well enough. Between the despair and agony are reasons to keep living. Also I am consumed with guilt when I imagine what my death will be like for my loved ones. I put my heart and soul into everything I do, but nowhere more than into my connections. I create rules that the target has to follow in order to stay alive longer and decrease risk of impulsivity. I brush my teeth, take my medication, exercise, attend appointments and put on sunscreen.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I did a thing. I thought I could price it for free but the cheapest I could price it was 99 cents (30 something of which I would see) please don’t spend money. It’s like 2 pages of haikus. Message or comment if you want to read them and I’ll send them to you directly. Photo on cover is mine and so are the haikus.
Seasons of my Mind: Haikus on Grief, Pain, Depression and Suicide Ideation - Kindle edition by Lindsay, Anna. Download it once and read it o
When making a decision that is enormous, irreversible, meaningful, filled with moral weight and tied to survival - the brain treats it as a priority alarm. It checks it, and checks it, and checks it, and checks it, and- over and over again. Pure torture. Swimming, no- thrashing between relief, guilt, peace, grief & regret. There’s no rest. 🌀