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One weird part of depression is when you have these moments where it feels like you're actually getting better and life is kind of nice and good things are happening and you imagine you can just sort of close your eyes and shake away the depression. But you open your eyes and it's still there. It doesn't even really bother you that much because you always knew it wasn't going to leave when you shut your eyes. You don't really hope for things anymore, you just sort of think they could be nice, so you don't get disappointed when it doesn't work. There's this depression cloud on your shoulder like a clingy stranger at a party and it sort of giggles inappropriately at you for thinking you could get rid of it and so you look at it awkwardly and laugh politely at it's joke (even though you want it to stop talking to you) because you're sort of stuck with it now.
So a friend introduced me to this song... I got Shenko feels from it. Sad Shenko feels.
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as the one year anniversary of the worst day of my life nears closer and closer, i cant help but feel intense bitterness. right now i literally hate everyone who is pregnant, for no reason. im just so blue that my baby was taken from me, way before he should have. never will i get to meet him. and that is just not fair.Β