When you started to believe things were actually going to go well in your life.
Been doing therapy for a year now, started seeing a dietician for my ED, actually have friends and one incredible best friend, starting to build some self confidence and thinking that maybe I’m not the absolute worst person in the world, recovering from the stress of your besties suicide attempt and just starting to feel like maybe life could be good and then bam!
Your friend is dying of cancer
Another friend is suddenly moving states away in a week
Another friend is moving even more states away next month
Your remaining local friends are too busy to see you currently (not their fault, shitty life circumstances)
Your brother announces he plans to move him and his family states away in about a year (very proud of him for pursuing his dreams)
And your best friend says long distance friendship may be too hard and that she needs to connect with people there and your relationship has to change. ( I totally support this decision and I think it will be the best for her but I’m dying inside)
And to top it all off your therapist is on a three week vacation.
I’m scared and I’m sad and I’m going to be so fucking lonely and I don’t know how I’m going to survive going back into that level of isolation and loneliness again.
Needed to put that out into the world but needed it to be where no one I know would read it so here I am.
If anyone reads this tell me I’ll survive. 💔
