#deltashuffle

Tap-pat-tap-pat.

You walk quickly through this strange world of darkness, still not quite sure if this is all real or not.

You weren’t sure where the robes you’re wearing now came from or perhaps where your normal overalls went, but at least they’re comfy.

Lancer, your best friend, skips behind you, his short second tongue lollygagging back and forth out of his mouth.

He didn’t seem to be put off at all by the gloves and armor and cloak and hood and the ridiculously short knives on his belt that he had found himself in, all of which looked very silly on his dough lump of a body. He seemed to be more taken in by the colorful surroundings the Dark World offered.

You almost wish that you’d stop and appreciate the surroundings, too.

Oh well. Such is the way of the vessel.

Lancer shouts before you see it.

“Look, Ralsei! Over there!”

A castle loomed in the distance to the left.

…Or maybe it’s just really small for a castle.

The Angel took the time to save at the pond in front of the entrance before you and Lancer went in.

As you walk up the stairs, a voice calls out to you.

“Welcome, heroes. (Finally.)”

A figure in a flowing blue dress stands at the end of the courtyard, watching you approach.

“Hey. I’m the Princess. Now! If you don’t want me to beat the shit out of you within the next ten seconds, you’ll listen to this really boring prophecy so I can finally take off this stupid dress.”

She’s very purple and rather dinosaur-like.

Lancer turns to you, wide eyed.

“Did you hear that!? She said a tier-TWO swear word!”

The Princess frowned and turned to look at Lancer.

“Oh my God there’s a baby here. What the fuck. What do I do. What the fuck”

She picked him up. She’s Really Tall.

Lancer grinned wide. “You’re Really Tall, purple girl! Can you swear some more??”

The Princess looked at you, terrified. She really didn’t know what to do.

You would have been fine, watching for a little longer, but the Angel made guided you to remind her that she was in the middle of explaining the Prophecy.

She looked a little relieved. She hoisted Lancer under one arm and put her other arm around you, grinning with large, yellow teeth.

“Alright, alright, if you insist. The name’s Susie, Princess of Literally Nothing other than whatever the hell you want to call the empty ass excuse for a castle behind me. I’m gonna be quick with the Prophecy so listen up.

“Light. Dark. Needs to be balanced. Lightners and Darkners used to live in peace etc, Lightners = assholes and abandoned Darkners, and here we are! No grudges or anything, nah. The King of Hearts’s a total pushover. World’s gonna end, so we need a team of a Human, Monster, and any sort of Darkner royalty to save it. Neither of you are humans though, so that sucks. Guess we’ll die. Got all that? Good. ‘Cuz I’m never repeating that again.”

Susie set Lancer down before ripping her dress off and into shreds.

“God I hate this dress”

Underneath it, she wore a cool vest thing and badass spiked bracelets, among the rest of her battle gear, making both of Lancer’s jaws drop.

“Holy Mother of Clowngels that is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!!”

Susie grinned, flattered, and rubbed the back of her head.

“So, I got this friend coming over for pie, before I realized you were here and had to go talk to you. They’re supposed to be at least one of the heroes in the prophecy, I think. At least they satisfy two of the requirements. I’ll introduce you and then you’ll set off and do whatever it is you heroes are supposed to do, I guess.”

Lancer frowned a bit.

“You won’t be coming with us??”

Susie looked at him startled. “Huh? Oh, uh, it’s just I don’t really think all that hero stuff is for me, yknow.”

“NOT FOR YOU, YOU SAY?”

A voice echoed around the courtyard, and a figure on top of one of the crumbling walls swung down on a vine, promptly tripping as they hit the ground and hit their shins.

“(shit shit SHIT) GREETINGS, HEROES! I AM THE BAkhh-h-h-h-h-h” They broke off in coughing and their voice grew hoarse, probably from rehearsing this several times a day in preparation.

Susie rolled her eyes and helped them up. They were dressed in some red, heart-shaped plate armor around their body, a sort of green sidecape with a yellow stripe down the middle, and a red heart mask hiding their face.

“Jesus Krist, Kris, I told you this would happen.”

She turned them to face the two of you.

“Guys, this is my friend Kris-”

“The BAh-h-h-h-”

They attempted to shout again, but immediately broke off into coughing again.

“(The Bard, of Hearts.)” They finally finished it through a hoarse whisper, having completely lost their voice.

Lancer just grinned. “Nice to meet you, Mx. Bard! I’m Lancer, and this is my friend Ralsei!”

You bowed in greeting, knowing that the Angel couldn’t do it for you.

Kris nodded.

“(I can’t see you.)”

Susie snorted.

“That’s because you still have the mask on, dumbass.”

“(Right. Can I have some pie?)”

“No, Kris. You have to go with them to save the world or whatever. You can have some when you get back.” Susie sounded sad. Or maybe just annoyed.

“(I..thought you were coming with, Susie…)”

“I CAN’T, Kris! It’s just you, and them! I’m just supposed to die or something after I tell them the prophecy. I don’t matter anymore, if I ever did!!”

Kris was silent under the mask.

They rubbed their shins a little, then suddenly did a backflip and landed at the courtyard entrance!

“(Heroes!)” Still hoarse whispering. “(I will gladly accompany you on our journey to save our worlds. However! You must complete a series of challenges beforehand, to test your, uh…you! The first of which, will be to chase after me in the horrible Maze of Death!)

Susie rolled her eyes. “Really, Kris? That maze is so easy.”

You got the feeling they were smiling under their mask.

“(For YOU it is, because you’ve used it plenty of times. THEY don’t, so they’ll get lost!)”

Her eyes widened in sudden realization. “Wait, what the fuck, they could DIE in there! You’re going to leave them here by themselves!?”

“(I sure know you won’t do that, my dude.)”

And with that, they dashed off down the path.

“They’re so funny!” Lancer was on his back, laughing. “Will we get to see them again?”

Susie stared at him, exasperated.

“Fuck. They’re so right. I can’t leave this fucking baby here he’ll get swallowed whole”

Susie narrowed her eyes at you.

“..FINE. You. Ralsei, was it? I’m coming with you. You better not lead this baby to his death or you’re going to fucking get it, hero or not. Don’t do anything stupid, alright?”

Your heart lifts as the fanfare rings inside your head (or maybe elsewhere? You’re not sure) and the Angel guides you down the path toward the Maze of Death and your destiny.

..You kind of wanted some pie, though.