can't delete ya
⋆⭒˚.⋆ joe keery x reader ⋆⭒˚.⋆
this is my first time writing and english is not my language please be kind and sorry if i wrote wrong :)
summary: On stage, Joe Keery dedicates a song to his lost love, letting regrets speak for him. But when fate brings them face to face again, between excuses and unspoken truths, they understand that certain loves have never truly ceased to exist.
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ
The sound of the fans' screams was far from the beat of his heart, which seemed to be coming out of his chest. On stage the lights slid across his face, making him even more beautiful than he was. The guitar trembled under his hands, but every note and chord made him feel more and more alive and in disbelief at what was happening.
By now, he had reached the end of the last concert of his tour, and while he was enjoying the voices and faces of a thousand people calling his name and singing his songs he stopped for a moment. A slight melancholy took hold of him as he announced the last song of the setlist:
"This song is for someone I have never stopped carrying with me, and whom I remember with love and admiration."
At the first notes of "Delete Ya", Joe closed his eyes and let the memories invade his mind; Y/N's smile, which he had tried so hard to forget; the way she laughed at his jokes, sometimes not even funny, her face, her beautiful face that he loved to kiss and the silence shared in their moments, but which was now a sharp silence, that brought with it disappointments and shortcomings. When Joe started singing the song, it slid through the air with sincerity, like a confession never uttered to anyone, not even to himself.
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A few days later, across the town Y/N was sitting on the couch, her phone resting on her lap as she mindlessy scrolled through Tiktok , trying to kill time. As she scrolled through the endless videos before, one of them caught her eye. Stage lights lit up the face of her ex, Joe Keery. Even though she wanted to scroll it away, she couldn't, as if something was holding her there, watching that video, as she heard her ex say:
"This song is for someone I've never stopped carrying with me, and I remember them with love and admiration."
Y/N took a deep breath, incredulous at what she heard and with a strange sensation in her chest. When he started singing, the words hit her like a train. They seemed to dig into their past and bring back memories of what they had experienced, their love, and the moments they shared together. She was surprised, not only because the song was dedicated to her, but also because he felt everything that, despite trying to hide, she felt too. She closed her phone and placed it next to her, her heart heavy and a thousand thoughts in her head. She took the pillow and squeezed it to her chest, almost for comfort, as tears began to form in the corners of her eyes, unable to stop them.
In all that chaos of thoughts, awareness hit her : she still wanted him and missed him.
That afternoon it occurred to her several times to write to him, to look for him, but every time she picked up the phone and selected his contact something stopped her, perhaps fear…
Whatever it was won, and she decided to distract herself so as not to think about him.
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Distraction had helped, at least a little; in fact Y/N went on for a few weeks without thinking about him, more or less… The desire to contact him was always present daily, and by then she had learned to live with it, all this until a Saturday night, when fate decided to leave her no escape. That Saturday, Y/N had been invited by a friend to a party to have fun and meet someone.
But she didn't know he was there too, and when their eyes met, she immediately looked down. She turned to her friend:
"I'm going to get a drink! I'm very thirsty"
That said, she mingled in the crowd, hoping she could get away from Joe, as much as she didn't want to, deep down. But he couldn't help but follow her, eager to see her and talk to her; he went her own way, but when he reached the kitchen he couldn't find her, so he decided to go outside, knowing that most likely, knowing her, she would be there. And so it was indeed. He found her sitting on the stairs of the porch of the house, with her arms around her legs, head bowed and her gaze fixed on her shoes.
Joe knew she had sensed his presence from the way her body stiffened, slightly, at the sound of the door opening and closing. With his hands in his pockets he walked toward her, softly, as if afraid of scaring her, and with the same caution sat down beside her, looking up at the sky. She, now 100% aware of Joe's presence, raised her head and looked at him, but looked away as soon as he turned to her.
"Hey… I haven't seen you in… well, quite a while," he said, his voice lower than usual, almost like a whisper. "Yeah… apparently," she replied with a small smile on her lips
The two talked a little bit, about how it was going, about Joe's career, which had reached its peak and how he was happy but stressed at the same time, about Y/N's work and how she received a raise. As they talked about these things a climate of confidence had established in the air, with laughter and jokes, until Y/N decided to say:
"I saw your last concert… it was beautiful, I'm happy for you. The choice of the setlist was also interesting." "Yes? well thanks… Yes, I wanted it to be special, I don't know if I made it clear though," he said. At these words Y/n's heart raced wildly, but she still decided to remain vague:
" Clear? Why?" "Well.." he said, chuckling and scratching the back of his neck. "It was dedicated to you, you know...." Y/N knew it well, it was clear it was for her, but hearing it from Joe himself was a whole different effect, she was speechless.
"For me?…" Y/n said softly.
"Yes, for you. I never stopped thinking about… about us. Every day at every moment you're here," he said, pointing to his head with his index finger.
"I know if we're not together anymore it's my fault, and I feel stupid for letting this happen to us, I was too busy with the music, you know, the tour, the studio, the band. I put everything I love in front of something I love even more and I didn't think about the consequences this could have. I'm sorry for what I did, and there's not a day I don't curse myself, hoping things can go back to the way they used to, just you and me. I miss everything about us. " Joe said in one breath, a tear running down his cheek.
Y/n wiped it away with her thumb, and at the contact of her hand on Joe's face he let go, giving in to her touch.
"Oh Joe.." she said y/n sighing, with tears in her eyes
"it's all right, I know you didn't do it on purpose. I never doubted your love for me Joe, I just couldn't stand there anymore, close to you but at the same time as if we were miles away, that's why I left." "I didn't realize y/n… really. I put everything in front of us and lost sight of the most important thing: you," Joe said, now in tears. "I know Joe," y/n replied, hugging him. "You know... I always have said to move on, forget you, and I lied to myself, saying I wouldn't need you, but the truth isn't like that, because I never stopped loving you Joe. And I don't want to deprive myself of something I love, that I think about daily and that has brought me happiness in my life, so I'm willing to walk over it, forgive you, but as long as it never happens again. I don't want to feel invisible and put aside by the person I love the most."Y/N said holding Joe's face in her hands. "i promise it won't happen again. You'll always be my priority," Joe said, smiling. y/n nodded, leaning closer to leave a delicate kiss on Joe's lips. "Now how about we get out of here?" she said, rising from the steps and offering him her hand to get up. Joe took her and their fingers intertwined as together they left that party.
