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This is a piece of Tiger Iron. I carried it with me every day for several months, and then one day, I couldn't find it. I looked around, but weeks later, I still hadn't found it.

Then, yesterday morning, while I was meditating, I made an offering, and had the bright idea to ask the elements and spirits (if they were able) to help me find it. 

Continuing through "When, Why If..." by Robin Wood. This chapter was about Love, the expectations and responsibilities of love, etc... 

When someone tells me they love me, I think they mean ...

When someone tells me that they love me, in general terms I believe it means that I'm important to them. That they care about me. That they care about my well being, health, needs, etc... In a directed way, rather than a casual way - the difference between wishing an acquaintance, co-worker, etc... A good day vs. actually, genuinely being concerned about my day. If that makes sense. That my presence in their life is important to them, and that they would rather not consider the possibility of me not being in their life. That they will support me (to the extent that they're able) through my travels and trials. 

Romantically, in a partner, I would add to that the expectation that the relationship, keeping it solid and healthy, would be the first priority in their life. 

I react to this by ...

When the feeling is reciprocal, it's affirming and comfortable. It makes me feel good to be appreciated and loved. I will respond with Love back to them. When the feeling is not reciprocal; ie... if it is someone that I do not have a close relationship with or whatever, depending on the circumstances, I will often make a joke (frequently a self-deprecating one, although not always) or change the subject. I don't want to be drawn in to a declaration of feeling something that I don't, so I try not to react that way, even though most people put the expectation on you that if they say they love you, you should respond in kind. 

When I tell someone I love them, I usually mean ...

That they are important to me. That they've entered in to a part of my heart where I feel connected to them, that I am willing to be there for them, to support them, to help out when I can. That I consider them to be family. That I would rather not imagine my life without them. 

I expect them to react by ... 

I don't really feel as if I expect anything by giving love. Perhaps I'm not digging deep enough in to my psyche, but I feel like love is a gift. To expect something, anything, in return means it is not truly love. It is nice, wonderful, in fact, if the feeling is reciprocated, but it isn't necessarily going to change the way that I feel. I am responsible for my own feelings. 

I have no trouble believing that others love me. T/F

True. 

This is because ... 

Because I believe that I'm a good person, a good friend, a good wife/partner, a good mother. I believe that when I share my love with the people in my life, it is only natural for them to give love back to me. Note that I'm not expecting it, but I have found that for the most part, the people in my life that I love, love me in return. It isn't an expectation; rather it is a natural flow of energy between close friends and family.

I am comfortable/uncomfortable with this because ...

I feel comfortable with this because the majority of my close relationships are reciprocal. There is give and take, support given, support received.

I want to change/don't want to change the way I think about love, because ...

I'm going to have to think about this one. 

When Robin tells us to love everyone, she means ... 

Be accepting of the people around you. Give them the freedom to be their honest selves. Support them, to the extent that you are able. Do not give more than you can, or more than you feel comfortable doing. But do give what you can honestly give. 

I think I can/don't think I can do this, because...

Second post in as-of-yet-undetermined number of "When, Why, If..." exercise. This one is on the self. If you haven't read the book, I can't guarantee that all of the questions (and answers) will make much sense. There's a thing about mego/antimego that I'm not really going to explain - It's better if you read her words for yourself. :-)

  On the Mego-AntiMego Continuum, I feel that I usually act like ...

I say that because ...

I don't feel like there is a 'usually' kind of answer for this. There are circumstances where I feel like I'm very AntiMego, such as for my child. But there are other things that I'm very self-interest motivated by, and thus fall further on the Mego side. Somewhere between a 3-7 on most things, I guess. Depending on the circumstances.  There are so many factors to consider that it's hard to just say, I'm always a three, or always a seven. Even setting aside the particular circumstances, my reaction or role might be different depending on how stressed I am, how my week has gone, etc... I guess the best answer for that would be that I am generally a three-ish (Mego), with the caveat that by 'self-interest' I tend to include my nearest and dearest in my 'self-interests'. So when I want something for my child, for instance, I may sacrifice or whatever, but I would still define it as self-interest, because I wouldn't necessarily make the same sacrifices for another child or person. The people who are closest to me are part and parcel to myself. If that makes sense. 

I want to change/don't want to change because ...

At some point, I would like to have more time/energy/ability to help people outside of my inner circle. Right now, there's so much on my plate that, although I would love to (for instance), volunteer for a charity, or commit to some position or activity, I find it difficult to make the time or sacrifices to actually get out there and do it. In that regard, my Self-Interest version of Mego comes in to play. I make time for the people I know and care about, but am less willing to make the time to devote to others outside of that circle. 

An Honest balanced self image would include ...

That I can be selfish, but I can also be generous. I think that I'm kind, most of the time, but I can be hard and unforgiving sometimes, too. I can be quick to anger or hurt, slow to forgive or apologize. I am generally a positive person. I nearly never intentionally mean to offend or hurt anyone, and I'm learning to be better at not doing it unintentionally either. (It's a work in progress.) I tend to form strong bonds with a few select people, but I enjoy people over all as a general rule. 

Write a list of your best character traits; Those things that you would love if you found them in someone else. Make sure there are at least ten things on your list. 

Cheerful

Intelligent

Clever Repertoire 

A love of cooking

Chatty (without being obnoxiously so - I have a hard time with really quiet or reserved people) 

Picks up on Social cues

Politically Liberal

Good Parenting Skills

A good sense of humor

Geeky

Write a list of things about yourself that you would like to change. Put no more than three things on your list. 

Education

Weight

There are several exercises following these questions that are to be done over the following week

If you pegged yourself at 3 or below, do something for someone else that can not possibly help you, every single day this week. If you are 7 or above, do something for yourself that can not possibly help someone else, every single day this week. If you are between 3 and 7, decide which of these exercises you would get the most good out of and do that. Or do some of both! 

See all the clerks, waitresses etc. that you encounter today as real people, with their own lives, and their own stories to tell. Really look at them Acknowledge them as people. 

Treat everyone sharing the road with you today as if they were real people in cars of their own, with destinations as important to them as yours are to you. If someone cuts you off in traffic, say a prayer for their safety and that of everyone they encounter as they hurry to their goal. 

Do something spectacularly nice for someone in your family, just to surprise them. If you rated yourself as an 8.5 or above, then the person in your family to "treat" is you!